Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

Each of us face our own unique adversities on a daily basis.  They can range from simple, minor difficulties with small consequences, to giant misfortunes with catastrophic ramifications.  Many people try their best to avoid adversity, but it is inevitable we will all have to face the music sometime or other.

When I was younger, I got into a couple of fights that taught me some great lessons in handling adversity.  One day at a high school party, a younger kid named Frank and I were hitting on the same girl, joking back and forth, trying to see who she liked more.   Well, one of Frank’s friends, Jay, decided it should not be a joke.  One word lead to another and before I knew it, I had this little dude talking all kinds of smack to me.

I left the party, shrugging it off as no big deal.  The next week in school, this kid continued his rampage.  I heard he was going to beat me up.  I heard I was scared of him.  I heard his whole ‘crew’ was looking for me and so on.  This was simply a typical high school confrontation.

The following weekend, Jay showed up where I was at.  He wanted to fight me.  I laughed and asked why?  What was the deal?  Nothing even happened and you still want to fight me a week later.  I don’t get it.  Well, now, it started to get embarrassing.  People were whispering ‘why doesn’t he fight him?”  It was starting to make me look really bad.

A week passed.  I was hoping the entire thing would blow over.  It wasn’t that I was scared of Jay.  I just really didn’t see the point in fighting over nothing.  Well, two weeks after the original incident I was at my friend Melissa’s house party.  I had heard rumors that Jay was going to show up to fight me, but at this point that was not new.  Sure enough, though, Jay and his entire crew showed up looking for me.

Now,  Melissa was trying to have a quiet party and there are a crew of kids here to fight me.  I told her not to be concerned.  This was no big deal.  If necessary I would leave. I went out to talk to Jay and settle this once and for all.  He got right in my face.  Melissa got nervous something would happen at her house.  I turned to her to reassure her it was okay.  Right at the moment I turned away…SMACK!

Jay punched me right in the face. We fell to the ground and I wound up on top.  Jay grabbed my face.  We scrambled but were broken up right away.  I had scratch marks below my eye where Jay grabbed me.  Unscathed, Jay and his crew left in their glory.  I was left to take care of my eye and deal with the fact a younger kid just embarrassed me in front of most of my peers.

The next few months in school were brutal.  Things were squashed between Jay and I, so that was over.  However, I had to deal with my reputation.  All of a sudden, I was considered weak and vulnerable because I had failed to stick up for myself.  I had turned away in the face of adversity and it smacked me hard.

This was a major turning point for me.

The one thing I could not get over was why I did not face the music when I should have.  I waited for weeks of this problem building until it blew up in my face.  And to make it worse, it’s not like I avoided anything.  We still fought.  If I had done the difficult task of sticking up for myself originally, it would have made everything afterward easier.  Instead, I now had bigger problems to deal with.

Luckily for me, things would come full circle.  As the year progressed, I made newer friends, started working out, and vowed I would never make the same mistake again.  A few months after the original incident, Jay’s bigger best friend Joe decided he liked the same girl I did, and again, she happened to like me (at least for a week).  So instead of him moving on, he decided to try and sabotage the relationship.

This time, I went to confront Joe right after school, but he was not there.  The next day in school, he came up to me right in front of the girl.  Backed by 4 guys, he told me he was going to kick my ass after school.   I was livid, but kind of relieved.  I was getting a chance to redeem myself by facing a similar adversity again.

That day, after school, I met Joe in the woods behind a convenience store.  I walked right through a giant crowd of Joe supporters and punched him right in his nose.  I knocked him down and beat the crap out of him until he quit.  It was quite vindicating.

Now the point of this blog is not to go and beat everyone up (not yet at least).  The point is that these two situations were handled totally different and had opposite conclusions.  The first incident I ignored the adversity.  I secretly hoped it would go away even though I figured it would not.  Instead it wound up getting worse.

The 2nd incident, I had learned my lesson.  The minute I knew a fight was unavoidable, I went all out.  Instead of hoping the adversity would go away, I did everything I could to handle it.  I stood up and faced it like a man should.  I focused all my attention on it.  In turn, the adversity was over that day.  As a matter of fact, I became very good friends with Joe for a long time after that.

This is an important lesson in life.

We face all sorts of adversity on a daily basis.  However, if we properly handle each situation up front, there will be much less adversity over the long haul.  It can be difficult mustering up the courage to face the music.  Confrontation can be intimidating, but it is a necessary obstacle you must overcome.

I remember thinking to myself, ‘Just punch him in the face, just hit him first.‘  Once I did, everything got easier.  The stress was gone, the burden lifted.  Sometimes, life just likes to test us.  It’s how we react to these tests that defines who we are.

This goes for all sorts of adversities.  Whether a sickness, an injury, or a financial nightmare, it is all about attacking the problem right away.  Waiting around will only make things worse. The next time you face any adversity, try and nip it in the bud.  Take care of it right there.  Don’t wait hoping it will subside.  Get right on top of it.

Your future will thank you for it.

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

The number one problem I think most people have is a lack of confidence.  So I have come up with a list of reasons why everyone should be confident in themselves.  Be proud of who you are by understanding exactly what, who, and where you stand in the grand scheme of things.

This list is based on a theory of mine.  The theory goes something like this:  We are all living during this time period on the earth.  Everything right now seems of major importance.  There are wars all over the world, hunger, crime, terrorism, corruption and all sorts of terrible things.  Each day, the news brings up the devastating events from the day before.  For each person involved in those events, the memories can scar for a lifetime.

But if we were to pretend for a second that we were not of this world.  That the world was a TV show we are watching.  A long running TV show that has been on for longer than we could ever imagine.  The show changes a lot, but mostly it is the same routine.  Every day, when something major happens on the show, we know it is just a small event in a much larger series.  The same is true for life.

Human life is just a small spec in the history of the world.  Before us, there were countless other creatures to rule the planet for various periods of time.  Time itself seems endless, b/c no one is quite sure how long it has been around.  Basically, almost any event, no matter how major, will be completely forgotten in the next 1,000 years. Time has a way of burying its past.  So should you.

I am writing all of this to hopefully help open up your eyes.  Though events today seem like the most important events to ever happen, they are not.  Most of these events barely matter in the grand scheme of things.  Yet, during these major events, or even minor ones, many of us get caught up in the pressure.  We get nervous, scared, hesitant, and become a shell of ourselves.  We panic at the thought of messing up the present.

Well, I am here to tell you it has to stop.  Nothing is as crazy as it seems no matter what it is.  Try to relax and step back for a moment each day.  Think about all the crazy days in high school when you the thought the world was over b/c someone was mad at you.  Life today is very similar.  Except we are out of high school and in real life.  Yet, we still are in a small section of a large world.  Even if things fail miserably in one place, you can always move to another, just like transferring schools.

The most important thing, though, is to be able to step back and relax.  Changing jobs or locations, and not your habits, will only delay the inevitable.  So what we need to do is to remember that everything is not as important as it seems because life will go on.  Therefore, we don’t need to constantly judge others, or ourselves, based on these seemingly major events.  The reality is, these events are not so major at all.  In fact, they are actually quite petty.

And if something is petty, then we should have no fear of it.  We should be confident that we can overcome it, no matter what it is.  Humans are a highly adaptable species.  They can overcome the seemingly insurmountable with just pure will.  Chances are, if you are reading this, that you are human.  Therefore you are also very adaptable and able to overcome the seemingly insurmountable with just your willpower.

Here are 10 reasons to be extra self-confident in your ability to overcome anything:

1. Whatever problem you have, someone has probably had something similar happen before.  You are probably not the first, and definitely not the last.  How did they handle it?

2. Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone wishes those mistakes never happened.  But not everyone is able to sit back and gain a valuable lesson from their mistake.  Are you?

3. You are a unique individual with an amazing talent that no one else has.  This is not an opinion or a hope.  This is a fact.  The reason I say this is it has to be true.  You see all talents are based on experience and genes.  Therefore, since you have a unique set of genes, and a unique life experience unlike anyone else, there has to be something that sets you apart.  It is a simple fact.

4. If your self-confidence is low, write down the reasons as if you were describing another person.  Hang that list up and try to attack one of those items at a time.  Each day, you will do something to change the outcome of just one item on your list.  You will concentrate on one item at a time until it’s fixed.  Only then will you move on to another item.  Do not try and fix the whole list all at once.  One item at a time.  And remember, everyone has a list they can make, so don’t feel stupid.  By taking action you have already begun to change your confidence level.

5. Confidence is defined by Oxford American Dictionaries as….’The feeling of self-assurance rising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.‘  No where does it say your confidence arises from others.  Confidence is a personal issue.  Things you accomplish may raise your confidence only because you have proved to yourself it can be done. But true confidence comes from deep within your soul.  True confidence is not deterred by what others think.  True confidence even trumps repetitive failure.  You don’t need success to be confident.  However, you do need confidence to continually be successful.

6.  Finish this sentence:  You are the only person you know of that has ever……

7.  Everyone has an opinion, and most of them will not match yours.  This is okay.  Do not take it personally when one person believes differently than you.  This goes for your confidence level as well.  If someone thinks that you are not good enough, not talented enough, and is not confident in your abilities, it does not make it is a fact.  What it does mean is it is true for them at that moment.  For that moment, you were not good enough in THEIR OPINION.  That is okay.  That does not mean tomorrow, or next week, or next month, the opposite won’t be true.

8.  No one’s opinion should hold no more weight than your own. Everyone has an opinion.  So do you.  Picture it as if everyone has $1.  If everyone has $1, then everyone has something of equal value.  Just because someone’s dollar is slightly different than yours with different numbers, designs, or years produced, doesn’t mean it does not hold the same value.  Anyway you look at it, it is still just a $1.

9. Success is defined as never giving up.  It is not a secret.  It is not a trick.  It is not something that happens over night.  Success is the sum of continual confidence and relentless determination.  Success is not achieved by accident, rather it is the product of our own willpower. Success is a choice you make.  Make the choice to be successful.  Remember that choice will help you hurdle over every little obstacle along the way.

10.  Just by reading this list you have already made an effort to improve your life.  You are already determined to have more success than the average person.  So be confident, be proud, and remember that no one is quite like you, and that is the best card you have to play in the crazy game of life.

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When I read a title like the one above I always laugh at the finality of it. It makes it sound as if your life will be changed forever into everything you ever dreamed simply by reading this. As if reading something can have that significant of an affect on someone.

Well what if it could? What if I told you that not only by reading this, but by actually following it, you can have anything you want in life? Anything at all. Would you believe it?

Me neither, so I’m not making any drastic promises.

But I am going to tell you that the following, although not much of a secret, can help you achieve any goal you have. I am going to talk about a not so secret key to everything you want in life. It is called ‘Self-Discipline’, something we all could use a little more of.

I feel our education system, and general 20th century culture, killed the reputation of the word ‘discipline’. Discipline became something children had to rebel against in school. Discipline became a trait only necessary for soldiers. Discipline meant doing your chores after dinner. Discipline got a bad rap.

“Self-discipline refers to the training that one gives one’s self to accomplish a certain task or to adopt a particular pattern of behaviour, even though one would really rather be doing something else. For example, denying oneself of an extravagant pleasure in order to accomplish a more demanding charitable deed. Thus, self-discipline is the assertion of willpower over more base desires, and is usually understood to be a synonym of ‘self control‘. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine a best course of action that opposes one’s desires.” ….from Wikipedia

Discipline is a trait that takes time to build. It is built one decision at a time and is one of the tougher traits to obtain. Being disciplined is quite a challenge. As a matter of fact, the best way to build any discipline is to practice it each day. Practice discipline in any way possible. Becoming very disciplined gives you quite an edge in life.

Accomplishing a goal is all about traveling along a path from a starting point until you reach it. The definition of self-discipline mentions that it is “to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine a best course of action that opposes one’s desires.” However, instead of substituting self discipline for motivation, use them together!

For example, let’s say you want to lose weight. You have a number you would like to weigh, and you have the number you actually do weigh. The first day, you are motivated, eager, and ready to go. However, this motivation is fleeting. Within a week, you are not so motivated at the thought of continuing to miss your favorite food. That thought you were holding on to that motivated you in the beginning is starting to fade. You need to change it up by adding in ‘self-discipline.’

Tell yourself you are going to be disciplined. Actually say the word ‘discipline’ to yourself. Remember, that by making the choice of being disciplined each time, you have no choice but to reach your goal. Motivation is great for getting started on any journey, but without adding in self-discipline, your motivation will only last so long. Be prepared for these moments of weakness in advance.

Reaching any goal, in business or individually, is the culmination of many individual choices. Motivation alone will only get you started. It is the incredible combination of motivation & self-discipline that breeds success. Think of it like an MMA fighter.

A fighter doesn’t just get into a cage motivated to fight. A good fighter accepts a fight and sets a regimented training program. They discipline themselves to prepare for the fight each day. They don’t know what they will face each day, but they know they have to face it. By the time they get into the cage, they are so prepared, it is just a matter of trying to execute their plan.

That’s exactly how any of us should attack a goal. Start with a little motivation, but remember, you will only reach where you want to go by adding in the key ingredient of self-discipline to finish what motivation started.

Writing about this is going to cause some laughter in my family. Growing up, I was the total opposite of what I am about to tell you. I had a huge issue with respect. If someone, in my opinion, was mean or disrespectful to me then I unleashed a hell hath fury like never before. What I’ve learned over the years, after much trial and error, is that kindness is more of a killer than any hell hath fury could ever be.

I’m not talking about being nice in general. That should be a given. I am talking about being relaxed, calm, cool, collected, and kind when someone is being completely the opposite to you. Our natural first defense when we feel someone is not being nice is to reciprocate the favor. If you yell I will yell louder. If you throw a temper tantrum, I will out due your tantrum with one of my own, and so on. However, there is a better way.

I’m not sure when this actually occurred to me, as I really was of the total opposite thought process for my entire life. But at some point of watching my parents always stay calm and kind even when others were not, I learned a valuable lesson: Kindness can be deadly.

For example, about a month or two ago I switched over to AT&T to get the iphone. I picked the plan that I thought was best, and signed up. When I got my first bill, I was shocked to see it was almost $500. I could not believe it. On closer inspection, I found that I had underestimated my minutes and picked the wrong plan. I should have picked the higher plan. I figured I would call AT&T and see what I could do.

Well the guy who picked up the phone might have been having a bad day, or just was used to dealing with angry people. He was not the nicest guy in the world. I explained my situation and asked if AT&T could do anything since it was obvious I picked the wrong plan and this was my first bill.

‘No. I’m sorry sir. AT&T will not refund any of your money. It is against policy. All I can do is change the plan from here going forward.’

I could hear in the tone of this guy’s voice that he was used to people exploding after this. It was almost as if he was bracing for it. I explained that Verizon (who I switched over from) used to fix this problem for me but that did not work either.

‘Once again sir, there is nothing I can do for you except change the plan going forward.’

This is where I have changed. Now normally, I would have flipped out on the guy, asked to speak to a supervisor, and screamed until I got what I wanted or hung up on. But being older, and hopefully wiser, I took a different approach.

‘No problem. I figured I would just call and try. If all you can do is fix this going forward, then please do. It is not your fault that I obviously underestimated my minutes.’

The guy, not used to the kind response, all of a sudden flipped his switch.

‘Yeah, it is pretty obvious you just picked the wrong plan. You know what, let me ask my supervisor if there is anything I can do for you. It never hurts to ask.’

I thanked him and he put me on hold. Minutes later he came back and nearly cut my bill in half. He said it was the last time AT&T would probably do that, but since I was new it was approved.

Maybe I would have gotten the same result if I would have made a huge stink, but it definitely would not have been that easy. Being kind forced this guy to react differently than he was used to. For a few brief moments, he was on the offensive able to help, rather than on the defensive trying to be nice when he does not want to. This also works in person as well.

My old mortgage company was located next door to a crazy Real Estate Agent. This person had a reputation in my state like no other. This person was known as the most selfish, untrustworthy person in the industry. In my few dealings with this person, the reputation turned out to be true. However, my kindness theory was put to the test many times.

Every time I saw this person I would get a dirty look. However, I smiled and waved back. ‘HEY!!! How are you today?’. The looks I would get were crazy because the person did not know how to react. They were used to the mean interactions with others on a daily basis. They had found a comfort in that. By being extra nice, even when I shouldn’t have, I took them out of their comfort zone and put them in mine.

It is very hard to continually be nasty to someone who is nice back. It gets annoying, old, and boring after a while. Why keep being nasty to someone who is never nasty back? It’s no fun that way. This is why kindness is more of a weapon than any temper tantrum, threat, or nastiness could ever be.

So the next time you want to let lose the inner rage on a nasty person, think of what being nice will do to them. Think of what a laugh you will get from their reaction. Think of what they will think after awhile of you being nice.

Don’t stoop to someone else’s level, b/c you think that is how to show them. Make them come up to your level, to your comfort zone. Life has taught me it’s just so much more fun that way.

My wife relentlessly works out the last few years. She started with simple walking, then moved on to jogging outdoors, then running on a treadmill, and now has progressed on to weights & exercise videos. For awhile though, she was strictly a walking/running enthusiast. She was not interested in any other kind of workout. But eventually she realized she needed to do more.

The reason is because her body had adapted to her regular exercise routine. It had gotten used to the running, so doing it four times a week was no longer a work out, it was a habit. When my wife finally started to explore other workouts, she began to see amazing results in her body. Her muscles started to take shape all through her arms and legs. She was sore for the first time in a long time but it paid off in her figure.

The reason she started to see success is because of the change up. A lot of us get into a routine with our workouts. We have the same weekly plan we have been doing for months on end. When you first started the workout, I’m sure you noticed some nice results. However, as time moves on, the results became less and less noticeable. This is because the human body is quite resilient.

The human body adapts to almost any situation for survival. If you begin running 2 miles every day, eventually running two miles will not do anything for your body. It will be used to the routine. This can play an important part in planning out your workouts. It is important to change up the routine so your body never gets used to the workout. This will help you get the most results out of each workout.

In jiu jitsu, wrestling, and swimming, for example, you never get the same exact workout. That is because it is impossible. When you wrestle or do jiu jitsu, you never know where the match will go because every match is different. Therefore, in each separate match you stress different sets of muscles. In swimming, the water is always moving differently so each stroke, especially for beginners like me, is slightly different than the last. Also, all of these activities incorporate the entire body, which also helps increase variety.

I am not big on weight training (although I love Kettle Bells), but even that requires a change up. Instead of doing the same bicep exercise, you switch it up by using different bars, grips, and ranges of motion. Working out is all about pushing yourself little by little. Each time you push further, your body thanks you for it shortly afterwards. Only changing up your workout will give you the extraordinary results you desire. I recommend changing up your routine at least every 4-6 weeks. The benefits will begin to show immediately.

Just ask my gorgeous wife.

I enjoyed the movie the Secret immensely. It was put together by Rhonda Byrne, who wanted to share it with the world after it helped her. It certainly helped a host of others, at least those with an open mind.

Notice on this interview, how CBS’s Bill Whitaker tries to lead the Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith down the path of slaughter. I think Mr. Whitaker did not have an open mind, and missed a good chance to gain some precious knowledge for his own life. I rather enjoyed what the Reverend had to say. I thought it reinforces a lot of the things I write about on a daily basis.

Enjoy Your Weekend…..

My sister sent me this quote yesterday she got out of a book my Aunt gave her entitled “Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson. It is about dealing with change in the workplace. The quote, though, is from another author, AJ Cronin.

From wikipedia…..Archibald Joseph Cronin (19 July 1896–6 January 1981) was a Scottish novelist, dramatist, and non-fiction writer who was one of the most renowned storytellers of the twentieth century. His best-known works are The Citadel and The Keys of the Kingdom, both of which were made into Oscar-nominated films. He also created the Dr. Finlay character, the hero of a series of stories that served as the basis for the long-running BBC television and radio series entitled Dr. Finlay’s Casebook.

I love finding out about famous people I never knew about. Such is the great benefit of living in the crux of the information age. Anyway, here is the quote that inspired me to find out what kind of person wrote it…

Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, at times, lost and confused, now and again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us.

-A. J. Cronin

Yesterday was not a good day for me. Nothing tragic. Just more financial runoff from my failed adventure as a mortgage branch manager. Some days, for all of us entrepreneurs hacking it out in the wilderness, it can be quite rough. If it was easy, I guess everyone would do it, but it definitely is not easy, no matter how positive I stay.

When I’m having a bad day like yesterday, where the stress kind of takes over your body till you physically feel sick, there is only one thing that helps calm the mind and ease the soul. It’s called visualization. It is one of the most important tools of any entrepreneur.

Visualization is a process that helps motivate you and relieve your mind of doubts. The idea is to visualize what it would be like if you accomplished all of your goals. Yesterday, I laid down, closed my eyes, and thought about what my successful life would feel like? What would my new castle smell like? What my personal chef’s best dish would taste like. I saw the look on my parent’s face when they knew I had achieved all of my dreams. I felt the warmth of all of these feelings run throughout my body.

Visualizing these personal dreams helps you remember why you are doing this. And when I say visualize, I mean you have to actually be there. Just thinking about these things doesn’t work. You have to take yourself out of your body for a minute and visualize everything as if you were standing right there. You have to let your soul feel the feeling of success as it permeates your senses.

Doing this during times of doubt, or when things are down, helps you remember why you started this journey all along. It helps you also remember what that feeling of success will be like. After I visualize my success for a little bit, I usually feel invigorated. I feel ready to start again because I can almost taste it. My body feels recharged and my mind is clear.

This is the power of visualization. There are some other tricks such as visualization boards. These consist of pictures of all of the the things you want in life. For some people, looking at the pictures is a great way to spark those feelings every day. They usually fill a tack board with loads of ‘goals’ or ‘rewards’, and glance over them each day.

Any form of visualization is very important for the soul. Life can be hard. We face many tests of character, resolve, and faith each day. We also face the doubters. The ones who don’t believe we have any chance of reaching the goals we have set. The funny thing is these people will always be right until we do make it, and some days they will sound more right than ever.

However, visualizing where you want to be in life gives you a chance to get there. Visualize the success, satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, and spoils reaching your goals will get you. Actually feel what it would truly be like. Then, use these thoughts every day to motivate yourself.

Sometimes, especially when life gets dark, it is tough to see the light shining ahead. Visualization lets you see it even when everyone else can’t. It allows you to remember what that light shines like. The warmth of its light. The magnitude of its brightness.

And most of the time, that is all we need. To visualize. Positive energy flows from these motivating thoughts. Feed off of it. I know I do.

Patience is definitely a virtue that I was not born with.  In fact I started out life with absolutely no patience.  Throughout my young days I was always about the end result, never too concerned with the journey there.  It affected me greatly once I got into business, b/c to be successful in any business, you must be patient.

When I first opened my mortgage company, I remember rushing into getting all the equipment for the office.  I rushed into getting Loan Officers, a processor, and a branch company itself. I was sure that because of my drive, work ethic, and determination, the money would pour in.  It was just a matter of time and risk.  Well, I took the risk, but I did not take the time.

Taking time in business can be very hard.  Most of us don’t have the savings we need to start a business properly.  The average business doesn’t turn a profit for 5 years.  I remember when my family opened up a huge million dollar camp, they did not see a dollar out of it for almost four years.  That is not easy and it takes great patience and determination.  Eventually, it all paid off.

Humans have a tendency to re-evaluate their own situation each day.  Today, work sucks.  Tomorrow it’s not so bad.  Pay day makes it all worth it, and the next Monday we want to quit.  It’s a vicious cycle for any employee.  But when you are the employer, it can be worse.  There is no guaranteed pay day.  So sometimes, even for years, it can be work, work, work, and nothing but debt & stress.  This is why most people do not go into business for themselves.

Seeing the big picture is easy in the beginning of a new business.  But once the grind gets going, you can lose sight of everything you dreamed of.  It is important in the beginning to write a sentence, paragraph, or whatever about what your dreams are down on paper.  This way, when it gets tough, you can look back to what you intended in the first place.  Sometimes it is not so easy to remember.

Any and all entrepreneurs need to understand the importance of being patient.  Starting any business is a tough racket.  Especially in an economy like todays.  You may not reach your short term goals when you planned.  There will be many obstacles along the way you could not have possibly seen ahead of time.  There will be many bills that come out of nowhere.  It is a journey unlike any other, because no one can tell you about your business except you.

Entrepreneurs are tough, determined individuals who do not know the meaning of ‘giving up’.  They only know how to adapt.  With each adaptation comes progress.  With each progression comes a test of their patience.  The successful business owners all have stories about these trying times.  They all talk about the days they did not know if it was all worth it, the days they thought of calling it quits.  The important theme of those stories is that of course it all worked out for them.

They can laugh about it now, because it is a distant memory.   God knows they were not laughing back then.  So, remember these stories when you face your trying times.  Think about who you will be laughing about it with.  Just know that any successful business person never gave up.  They had the patience, belief in themselves, and the determination to keep going.

No business makes their fortune over night.  The successful ones patiently push along, fighting through it all, till they finally reach their destination.  There is a reason the tortoise wins the race against the rabbit in that famous children’s story.  It is the same reason why many business win the race against failure.

Patience.

One of the most important parts of business, especially today, is networking. With the internet at its peak, and communication in many mediums as easy as a touch of a button, it is more important than ever for people to be good networkers.

Networking is important because it opens doors. Nowadays, contacting professionals in your field is as easy as can be online. However, people tend to be afraid still to reach out. ‘What if I sound stupid?’ some people think. Well, at least you sound something, because without ever trying to open the door, you can only guess what is behind it.

A person who excels at networking has one trait. They return phone calls, emails, or any other forms of communication, even when they don’t want to. How many times have you received a message from someone and you thought why on earth is this person calling me? It could be someone you have not spoken to in awhile or a person you do not like. It could be anyone about anything. It is still important to return the call.

For example, I had a friend from high school give me a call about three months ago. Now, I haven’t spoke regularly to this person in 10 years. They call every once in a blue moon about recreational activities. Well, three months ago, I was driving home from a tough day at the office. The phone rang, and I checked the ID. I had the same thought as before, ‘What on earth could this guy possibly want?’ I put down the phone, then thought better of it. I took a deep breath and answered the phone. ‘Heeeeey, what’s up man?’

This phone call, which I seriously thought of ignoring, was about fantasy football. The guy was calling me about a league. I was not interested, but in passing he asked how is my mortgage business doing. I responded that the business was getting crazy, but luckily I had another business that does websites & video.

Well, low & behold, before you know it, my friend flipped out. He had been looking for someone to redo his company’s website. He was basically telling me the job is mine, after I only showed him one site. Fast forward three months, I now have an extremely satisfied customer, another piece of work to show in a brand new field, and of course, some profit as well.

I could have very easily skipped that phone call. I could have been lazy, said to myself it was a tough day, and just moved on. However, when someone is trying to communicate with you, it is important to keep those lines open. Shutting doors in life just closes opportunities, especially today. Skipping that phone call would have cost me more than I could have ever imagined. How was I to know my friend needed a website, or even had his own company? On the flip side, how was he to know I had my new business when he picked up the phone to call me?

But we both picked up the phone, and we both opened up a new business relationship. I know it can be tough sometimes returning those emails, phone calls, or texts. Just try to remember, that each one presents its own unique opportunity for you. And no matter what you think, you never really know what that opportunity is.