The Lighter Side of Personal Development

Posted by Peter James | Posted in Balanced Life, Welcome | Posted on 12-12-2008

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Yin vs Yang Introduction Video Post from Reimagine New Media on Vimeo.

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Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”
- Aristotle

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Personal Development is something we take very serious at Yin vs Yang.  We have found the best way to approach something serious day after day is to make it as enjoyable as possible.

With that in mind, and our perpetual creative urges in need of a fix, here’s our 1st video post featuring 2 of the co-founders discussing what Yin vs Yang is really all about.

If only we could agree ;) ….

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Don’t set compensation as a goal. Find work you like,
and the compensation will follow.

-Harding Lawrence

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A Critical Key To Attaining Success

Posted by Peter James | Posted in Balanced Life, Business Success Tips | Posted on 29-07-2008

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Staying calm in the face of danger is key to success.

I always learn more by teaching Jiu Jitsu than just by rolling (sparring).  This morning, as I was helping instruct a brand new student, I wound up teaching myself something about life.  The new student was having trouble maintaining his balance.  He would start out kneeling in a strong position on the ground (sort of like the person in blue above), but after he began to try and pass the guard (his opponents legs), he would get swept to his back time and time again.

I explained to him that in Jiu Jitsu, the most important aspect is staying balanced at all times.  Staying balanced is easy when nothing much is going on, but it gets harder & harder as the intensity & pressure pick up.  As soon as the New Student would try to react, he would sacrifice his balance.  The key, I explained, is to calmly face one battle at a time.  Staying calm helps you maintain your focus.  To pass the someone’s guard, you do it methodically with effectiveness, staying close and tight, achieving one small step at a time, so that it is impossible to fail.  As I explained this, it occurred to me how much Jiu Jitsu mirrors life.

Staying calm in the face of pressure is a critical key to achieving success.

In life, the key is to calmly face one battle at a time, so as not to get overwhelmed.  During intense moments, such as someone trying to choke you in Jiu Jitsu, overreacting leads to a worse position.  Calmly assessing the situation and moving methodically is the only way to better your position & achieve success.  It’s not abut speed, it’s about effectiveness.

The New Student next asked me what he could do to better maintain his balance.  I answered, “do not concern yourself with what you should do, just worry about what you should NOT do.  The only way to learn that is to get on the mat, make all sorts of mistakes, and gain the invaluable prize known as experience.  Only then will you learn how to stay balanced.”

The same goes for achieving success at something in everyday life….

Just jump in there, make all sorts of mistakes, and gain the invaluable prize known as experience on your way toward success.

If you liked this, or any other of my writings, I would be much obliged if you click DIGG IT below.  Thanks in advance.

The Fear of Success: Developing that Killer Instinct

Posted by Peter James | Posted in Balanced Life, Learning Off Experience | Posted on 02-06-2008

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Developing a killer instinct is a key to successBeing heavily involved in the sport, I watch a lot of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fights. For those that do not know, it is like the UFC fights. There just happens to be a lot of different organizations many people don’t know besides the UFC. MMA is probably the fastest growing sport in the world. This past weekend, for the first time ever, an MMA fight was on national TV. CBS broadcast Kimbo Slice vs. James Thompson on Saturday night.

MMA is one of my favorite sports because it is extremely symbolic of life in general. It takes great endurance, dedication, intelligence, and patience to succeed. The other great thing about MMA is there are no excuses. When two guys fight it out, one wins & one loses. Simple as that. Life tends to not define winners as quickly.

A great MMA fighter, though, has to have one trait. They have to have a killer instinct. When you are fighting a tough opponent, having success has a problem. You are going to bring out the best in someone. When someone starts to get beat up, they usually make an all out effort to survive. Their best naturally comes out when you start to succeed, and when they are good, that means one tough fight.

A lot of fighters hold back during a tough fight, because they have a fear of losing. They have a fear of not winning the fight. So their number one priority is not losing. Their second priority is winning. These fighters rarely come out on top in these fights. When they do, you would think they had lost by the crowd’s reaction. The crowd respects a killer instinct, as does life.

Life is all about hurdling over your fears. One thing I have realized, is that success can be scary for many reasons. One, it is a big change with more responsibility. Two, just like the MMA fight, if you start to succeed, your work intensity is bound to pick up. Things will always get more challenging as you climb up the ladder. I think for these reasons, a lot of us hold back in life. Not blatantly, but just a bit.

We may start to have success, and then freeze up out of the fear of what that success means. The best example of this I can remember in my life was on the Jiu Jitsu mat. I was rolling with my instructor a few years ago. Please understand that he is heads & shoulders above me in every aspect of Jiu Jitsu, MMA, and Muay Thai, plus he has taught me everything I know.

We were training together, and I just so happened to set him up for a choke. He was helping me train, so his aggression was low, but a teacher never wants to get ‘tapped’ by a student. Getting tapped means they have been submitted and lost. The set up was pretty good, and as I reached my hand across to apply the choke, I realized he never saw it coming.

I could not believe it. No one had tapped the instructor in the whole school. Here I was, his face turning beat red, and gurgling sounds coming out of his mouth. The choke was sunk in real deep and he was struggling to work the escape. Then all of a sudden, like lightening, another wave of thoughts poured in.

‘If I tap the instructor, he will probably kill me. If I tell people I tapped him, I will have to live up to that level. Am I ready for that level yet? I don’t think I am ready for that.’

As these thoughts poured in, my hands stopped applying pressure. My killer instinct was gone. It had evaporated because of my fears. My instructor, during this momentary pause of pressure, managed to wedge his hand in and break my grip. Finally free from danger, he smiled and said ‘That was pretty close.’ I smiled back, not sure if I was relieved or mad I missed my chance. Two seconds later, he tapped me.

I am not saying without those thoughts I would have tapped my instructor. He may have very well gotten out of the choke anyway. Who’s to know? The point is, though, I will never know if I could have. I froze during my big opportunity because I was not sure if I wanted it.

In life, we have to be ready for the same thing. We have to know what we want. We have to not be afraid of going after it. If it’s something we really want, then we have to develop a killer instinct for it. We have to want it so bad, that nothing, no one, or no thing will stop of us from attaining it. If we don’t know what we are going for, then when it is in our face, we will have to make the choice then. That is a recipe for failure.

I was not sure if I really wanted to tap the instructor and incur the wrath for it. Now I know I would love it, but then I was just trying to be competitive. I was not trying to win. It is a different mentality. Successful people are not trying to be competitive. They are trying to dominate you. They think of nothing else, but winning. They don’t want to be on your level. They want to be above it. They will do anything they can to get to that point.

We could all learn from that. When one person wins, another loses. For some of us, that can be a catch 22. We feel bad for the losers instead of good for winning. For others, being a winner puts pressure on them to win again and again, or not ever be a winner again. It’s like winning the championship belt. It is a great achievement. It is also a great burden, as everyone else wants a chance at getting it.

Make sure you are prepared for your success. Make sure that success, and everything it brings with it, is truly what you want. And if it is, then you better just go for it. Go for it like no other person ever has. Bring a new level of determination to it. Bring that killer instinct. Understand that you are going to reach that goal. There is no one or no excuse why you can’t. Nothing can stop you. Nothing.

The minute these thoughts sink in is the minute you have already achieved these goals. Now you just have to go out and do it. Simple as that, and you should never settle for less.