Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

Clerk: “Occupation?”
Comicus: “Standup Philosopher!”
Clerk: “What?”
Comicus: “Standup Philosopher! I coalesce the vapor of human experience into a viable and logical comprehension.”
Clerk: “Oh – a Bullshit Artist!”
Comicus: “Hmmmmmm….”
Clerk: “Did you bullshit last week?”
Comicus: “No.”
Clerk: “Did you try to bullshit last week?”
Comicus: “Yes!”
–From Mel Brook’s History of the World Part I

Have you ever been in the middle of a sentence, when you realize everything you are claiming is 100% complete BS (bullshit)?

Well, I have many times in my life. Sometimes I’m saying something I would like to be true. Sometimes it is something I hope, or wish, is true.  Sometimes, I don’t know what the hell it is or where it came from, but it feels like a veiled attempt to sooth my ego as the words leave. I can feel my facial expression change, and I wonder if the person I’m speaking to realizes it.

I know I’m not alone out there.

Bullshitting others is one thing, however, it becomes a real problem when you are not aware of your own ‘BS’. Nothing is worse than talking yourself up in your head. It’s one thing to fool others, and a whole other thing to be fooling yourself.

Over the course of my life, I have made a consistent effort to try and not claim anything that is not true, even if it sounds good at the time. This was further ingrained in my head when I started to take Jiu Jitsu. BSing is completely useless on the mat. Either you tap someone or they tap you.  What is said or thought before matters little once the action starts.

I have found BSing completely useless in life as well.

What do I mean by BSing? Let’s say you and a friend are talking about how fast you can run a mile. He says 7 minutes on average. You know you have never run faster than 7 minutes, but you have never really tried to either. If he can do it, then you assume you probably can too. So, before you have a chance to think, you hear the words as they leave your lips…

‘I can do 6 1/2 minutes easy.’

Now, while that may or may not be true, you have just set yourself up for failure. You naturally wanted to be able to run a faster mile, and believe you can, so you verbalize your emotions. If your friend asks to time you, then you may be in some trouble, as the truth is, because you never have, you don’t know if you can. However, by saying you can, you feel like a winner, at least for the moment.  The problem is…

Humans can smell BS from a mile away.

I would venture to say, that if this story was real, the friend would know the person was BSing right away. Humans tend to have an innate way of sensing other people’s BS. Maybe it’s the way it rolls off their tongue, or the look that envelopes their eyes, or the sudden lack of eye contact.  Whatever it is, how many times have you heard someone say something, smiled, and then muttered under your breath..

‘Yeah, right.’

Don’t think it has not been done to you as well. What I have found, is the best way to get to know yourself, hence personally develop, is to make a firm goal to not make any exaggerated claims, even if it’s just in your head. Whether it’s ‘I will finish that by tomorrow,’ or ‘I am the best at that’, if it is not true, or possibly not true, than your words will have little meaning. If it is true, then let your actions speak, rather then meaningless words.

If what you are claiming is not a firm fact, try this approach. Instead of setting the bar so high for yourself, set the bar low. Your friend says, ‘I can run a 7 minute mile’.  You respond, ‘Really, I think I can beat that, but I have not tried in awhile.’

Or try turning ‘I will finish that by tomorrow’ into ‘I will try an finish that as fast as I can. I’m shooting for tomorrow.’  How about changing ‘I am the best at that’ to ‘I’m usually pretty good at that.’

A simple change in your approach is all it takes to save face. Don’t become that person who just says things to sound good. Nobody respects a person like that. However, think of how much respect you have for someone when they say they are okay at something, and it turns out they are incredible at it.

Changing your expectations does a few things:

1. It gives your words more meaning. Instead of someone who is always BSing, people will look at you as someone who always does more than they say they will. Even though the same outcome may occur regardless of your approach, the person who did not try to ‘win’ with words always is more respected.
2. It puts less pressure on you. Why set the bar higher than it has to be? Why not just leave the bar where it is and try and surpass it with actions instead of with claims? Isn’t it better to say ‘I broke the world record’ then to claim ‘I’ll break the world record’?
3. It helps build your reputation. People respect honesty and a sincere approach. It also helps you be honest with yourself and know where you really stand, not pretend to be where you wish you were. Nothing worse than getting caught up in your own BS, and realizing it half way through your 8 minute mile.
4. It creates the aura of modesty around you. One of the best compliments someone can receive is how modest they are. Think of someone you consider modest and think of the opinion you carry of them. Now think of someone you consider a bullshitter. Which person would you prefer to be known as?
5. It let’s others easily accept you for who you are. Someone who knows their own weaknesses and is modest about their strengths, is a true winner. Let the actions speak for themselves. The reverb from those actions will easily drown out the small whispers of bogus claims.
6. If you are wrong, you still have your dignity. Let’s say you don’t beat that 7 minute mile. If you claimed you would without a doubt, you look like a liar and your words hereafter will have little authority. However, if you responded that you were unsure, but would try, you look like a winner. You met a challenge, tried your best, and let the results speak for themselves. Nothing better than that.

I challenge you to try and become aware of your own words. Try, at least for one day, to not make any claims that are not 100% true. Try to only speak the truth. This is not only to help your reputation with others, but also to help build confidence in yourself. I think you will find the results of this approach to be life changing.

‘On affaiblit toujours tout ce qu’on exagere’ (We always weaken whatever we exaggerate.) –Jean Francois de la Harpe

About 8 months ago, Yin vs Yang was born. My partner and I, along with another person we were working with at the time, had decided to start a blog. I came up with the concept, and we all agreed it was a good idea. We were passionate to start blogging, especially me, cause I love to write.

New ideas are always a lot of fun.

We immediately began writing and trying to figure out this idea of blogging. It was not easy, and the spark from the original night only lasts so long. When you write something and no one on earth responds, that original idea can seem like hogwash. So, after a short while, it was just my partner and I left with Yin vs Yang.

The other issue too was, learning how to write for a blog.

Just cause you know how to write, does not mean it comes to you naturally. When we first started this blog, I had no idea what I was trying to write. I had ideas for themes, but I wasn’t even really sure what Yin vs Yang was going to be. I wrote stories on personal development, my past, and included things like ‘quote of the day’ and ‘Friday video day’ for awhile. I tried to post everyday, worried when I missed a day as if anyone was actually reading back then.

I also was trying to write to please at first. Instead of just writing what I thought I should, I was too concerned with what others might think. I was too concerned with getting comments, or trying to. I was too concerned about a lot of distractions that really did not matter.

I was also concerned with trying to make money. Just like you, I had read about all of these bloggers making a fortune from affiliate marketing and advertising. I had read that ‘content is king’ and that gave me hope. I had read that with enough traffic there were a 1,000 ways to make some profit. That gave me motivation.

As time progressed, I slowly found my voice and my style of writing. However, even that is still developing, and probably always will be. The point is that this blog you are reading all started simply with a passionate idea.  Just one idea, where everyone in the room agreed ‘that’s cool’. That was the birth of this blog.  Not some big plan or strategy, not some researching for the perfect opportunity. Just a passionate idea.

Today, we have developed a nice fan base that continues to grow. I have met and networked with a large amount of intelligent people who have expanded my knowledge base like never before. I have learned, grown as a person, and become a better overall individual because of this blog.

But is it because of this blog, or because we actually followed through on a single passionate idea?

Following through with a passionate idea always takes work.

• You have to keep pushing even when others think you should stop.
• You have to be able to adapt your original idea over time.
• You have to find motivation even when you don’t feel like it.
• You have to believe in yourself.
• You have to be patient.

Only then will you feel like I do about Yin vs Yang. I do not feel this way because this blog has been such a financial success either. I believe we have made $8 overall since we started. That’s almost a $1/month, split two ways. I don’t think anyone would put all the time we have into something for that little of a return.

So why do I feel so proud of Yin vs Yang?

It is just the mere fact that it represents following through persistently with a passionate idea. I never intended to be in the position I am in now with the blog. I never intended to reach so many people across the globe either. What I learned is, it’s not a matter of your intentions sometimes. It’s not a matter of planning.

It’s a matter of doing.

If you have a passionate idea, one that seems great for you, it is your duty to follow up on it. I have had many, many passionate ideas. Very few have I actually followed up on persistently. However, the ones I have turned out to be the most influential, self developing experiences I have ever had.

I think following through on your passion is the path to becoming a better individual. It introduces you to other people passionate about their ideas. It opens doors to network with people offering opportunities you never imagined. It makes your life feel fulfilled.

Working each day at something is very tough. The only way I have found to combat that is by doing things I am passionate about. Passion seems to be an endless fuel that keeps on burning. The things I am passionate about I put in the extra work needed because it does not feel like work. It feels like fulfillment.

If you have enjoyed this blog, then you have enjoyed reading something we are passionate about writing. You have enjoyed the fact that someone else is persistently pursuing a single passionate idea.  The only thing more enjoyable than experiencing someone else living out their passion is living out your own passion.

What are you waiting for?

Check back this month for my first ever video blog post. I will also be guest posting a few times this month. If you are interested, you can check the ever growing ‘links‘ page to see all the links to my guest posts.

Thanks again to all of my readers. I hope our writing is able to help you as much as your support has helped us.