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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Normally, today’s post is about personal development through Jiu Jitsu. However, today is not just any other day. First off, it’s Groundhog’s day. Secondly, in a few short house I will be leaving my 20s behind, and passing into the next phase of life otherwise known as my 30s.

Thirty years ago today (2/2/1979), at 1:22 pm, a 22 inch, 9 pound, 2 ounce bundle of joy arrived. I was the first child in my family, and the only male child for a long, long time. To celebrate this Yinvsyang style, I felt like writing a personal post to myself about what it’s like to look back on 30 years, and what to look forward to.

I can safely say that all of the previous decades I was completely unprepared for. I think your 30s is the first time in your life that you kind of know what to expect. In the teens there is high school, in your 20s there is drinking and college (not necessarily in that order), but in your 30s, you just kind of sail in unnoticed. Nothing much to look forward to age wise, except whatever you have going on in your life.

However, I am pretty excited about this decade. I figure I spent the last 29 and somewhat years learning what not to do. I am planning for my 30s to be the decade that I put all of those mistakes and learning experiences to good use. In light of this, I am going to list a few goals I have developed for myself to conquer in the next decade, not necessarily in any order…

1. Write a phenomenal screenplay
2. Make a movie
3. Have a child or two or three
4. Gross a million dollars for Reimagine in a single year
5. Get my black belt in BJJ.

Yes, these are some lofty goals, but if you are not aiming for the stars, where are you aiming? One of my favorite quotes, that my Dad sent to me, sums up my philosophy…

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

I think listing your long term goals on paper is a great way to inspire yourself to attain them. I would certainly suggest that anytime you have a birthday, especially a milestone one like 30, that you take the time to do so.

So let’s have a little fun for my birthday. I’d like to open up the comments today with a change of pace. I’d love to hear from all of you any advice, comments, or jokes, you have about turning 30. Let me have it!

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Chances are if you are reading this, the entrepreneur spirit is deeply embedded in your soul.  One of the mistakes I learned the hard way is to set realistic goals for yourself.

We all have a habit of thinking big, or we would not be entrepreneurs.  Thinking big, though, is not enough.  In fact, it can be detrimental to achieving those goals.  The reason is because those unrealistic goals can cloud the reality of getting to them.

For example, let’s pretend you wanted to open up a Jiu Jitsu school.  Not just any Jiu Jitsu School.  But the biggest and baddest Jiu Jitsu school ever created in the history of Jiu Jitsu Schools.  You want to train champions. You want to have every great practitioner in the area train at this school. You want it to be nationally recognized, become a franchise, and blaze the trail that all other Jiu Jitsu Schools will follow.

So you go out and find the best location ever with showers, a locker room, and private bathrooms.  The rent is a little higher than you wanted, but the location is worth it.  Then you mat the place wall to wall.  You get a cage on credit because the best schools have cages.  You buy the brightest neon sign there is and have a professional audio system installed.  You spend the rest of your credit on marketing the entire place.  You are so goal oriented, that when the school just opens, you are already up to your ears in work.  You are sending out emails, marketing on the internet, and teaching 4 classes a day!  You barely sleep with all of the work you put in, let alone have time to train yourself.

Now, pretend another guy opens a Jiu Jitsu school in the area at the same time.  Let’s call him John.  John rents out a small space in a decent location.  It has no showers and you have to share the 2 bathrooms, but the rent is cheap.  John can only afford to mat 2/3 of the place and he brings in his radio from home for music.  He also has no money for marketing.  Instead, he is counting on a few students he has brought with him to spread the word, plus his connections at the local gym.   John sets up a light schedule with just 2 classes a day at first.

Now does you or John have the best chance of being successful?  If you said you, then I am glad you are reading this blog because your Jiu Jitsu school was set up for failure.  You have created a hole in which you will never be able to climb out of.  Chances are your four classes a day only have 4-5 students in them which makes the school look & feel empty.  You are up to your ears in monthly debt because of the expenses you heaped on yourself.  Your marketing brings in students, but you don’t have the time to really work with any of them individually.  You also don’t have time to train yourself, so your jiu jitsu suffers.

Meanwhile, John trains with 4-5 students in his school per week.  He gives them individual attention and because of it, his students begin to thrive.  Eventually he can afford to upgrade certain things in his school because his rent is so cheap.  He also sleeps great at night because his stress level is low.

You see, the fictional you got caught up in unrealistic goals.  You don’t just jump out and open up a great Jiu Jitsu school, or any business for that matter.  You can look the part, sure.  Credit cards are amazing at helping out with that.  But actually running a quality school takes time.  You have to leave room for error as you learn about your business.  You have to nurture it and let it grow itself.  You can’t just make it be successful.  Everything has its course.

This goes for life as well.  You can dream of being ridiculously wealthy, or being this incredible athlete.  But that is just a dream.  The goal for the athlete is to practice his best each day.  The goal for the person who dreams of wealth is even less clear.  Simply wanting wealth is not a way to acquire it.  It takes years to make money.  Sometimes we hear of overnight millionaires, but chances are they were working for years before that special night.  The money might have come in all at once, but it did not just happen in one day.

A lot of us entrepreneurs have broad shoulders.  We like to heap all of these incredible challenges on ourself to show we are worthy of the dreams that motivate us.  But that is not the way to success.  The way to success is day by day.  It is doing the best each day at whatever it is you do.  It takes hard, SMART work to achieve big goals.  Looking the part does nothing but set you up for failure.

So take some pressure off of yourself.  Relax, take a deep breath, and exhale.  There.  Now you can think about some nice simple goals that can all add up one day to the big goal you have in mind.  Good luck!