René Magritte’s The False Mirror

In the last 5 or so years, the world has undergone a mini revolution, one able to fly under the radar due to it’s nonviolent nature. This revolution is the information age, taking over by storm. The days of controlling information have become obsolete, and the way we live our lives has transformed.

Large or small, companies, criminals, business owners, politicians, and anyone else who’s central purpose has been the control and dissemination of information, now find their business models obsolete.

Musicians no longer need labels to be discovered by the world. Filmmakers have the means and resources to make a Jurassic Park size movie in their bedroom and can distribute the final result on the web. Entrepreneurs no longer need outside resources to start their dream business. All they need is and idea and the motivation to see it through. This revolution is going on right now, everywhere around the world.

Growing up, it was always about who you know. Now, it is just about who you are.

There are no more excuses. You can’t say, ‘I didn’t know how to do that,’ when all the answers are a Google search away. You can’t say, ‘I didn’t know anyone’, when every person and business is accessible in some shape and form on the net. You can’t even say, ‘well I didn’t have the money,’ when nowadays you rarely need it to get started.

In reality, it just comes down to us, staring into the mirror and realizing, there are no more excuses except the ones we create. There is nothing ‘we have to do’ that we are not passionate about. The only thing stopping you is the excuses you accept, and the only person in your way is staring right back at you.

Forget the limitations you think your body has.

Forget the fears of failure your mind projects.

All that matters is your spirit and your desire.

Let desire be your guide, and spirit be your strength. You always knew you could do it, you just needed a little time to accept the task at hand. Remember, success is getting up every day doing what you love. The rest just takes some time to fall into place.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Life can be very confusing with all the stimulus our mind has to deal with each day. We have bills to pay, family to make happy, work to do, bosses/clients to satisfy, dreams of a better life, and reality standing in our way.

All of this stimulus can really throw a wrench in our ability to prioritize what is really important, and what appears important on a daily basis. There is so much going on that we don’t know what we should focus on. Instead, we try to focus on it all.

I experienced the same type of situation while gaining rank in Jiu Jitsu. When I was a white belt, there was so much going on that I tried to pay attention to, my mind was unable to keep up with more experienced and athletic opponents. Everything my opponent did seemed like a battle for life or death.

Over time, as I got more comfortable, I learned to relax my mind and only pay attention to what is important. You see, all of the stuff I was paying attention to seemed important when I was a white belt. That is why every time my opponent moved, I reacted, or more likely, over reacted. This is because I did not understand what was, and was not important. Since I was not sure, I had to fight every battle as if it was my last.

Now that I am a purple belt (before brown) and carry five years of real experience, I do not react to my opponent’s every move. Each situation I get into, I am able to focus on what is important and disregard what used to appear important. So if my opponent is threatening a move, I know whether or not to take it seriously because I understand my priorities in each position I have experience in. In simple terms, I carefully pick my battles.

Life is much the same, though we don’t gain rank with colored belts. Instead, we gain rank in happiness. Much like any martial art, achieving happiness takes hard work. It is not easy to be happy. In order to truly be at peace with ourselves, we need to understand what we want in life.

On this Earth, no matter who we are, there is one thing we all have in common. That is time. Time is all any of us really have. If every government in the world toppled, and money no longer existed, time would still march on. There is no stopping it. The only thing you can do is roll with it. You can not save time. You have to spend it. So the question is, what do you invest your daily time in?

Valuing your time is a great way to prioritize your focus and motivate yourself. Remember, there is no choice on whether you spend your time or not. You are spending it regardless. Might as well get the most value out of it, no? If you look at the world from the view point of your time’s value, it becomes much easier to deal with the daily negativity and dilemmas we all face.

Here are some examples from my life:

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Someone says something bad about me.

In the past, I might try to confront them. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep until I did confront them. But now, I think of it in terms of my time’s value. Is it worth my time to deal with something somebody said? Or is it better to just move on and focus on my dreams?

I need to pay my bills, but I also have to grow my business.

My bills tell me I should get a job to pay them now. However, time tells me I need to invest as much of it as possible in my business to be successful. This helps me realize that, for me, growing my business takes priority over paying my monthly bills because it is my dream to earn a living doing what I love. It may suck for a little while, but in the end, I will be enjoying the time I spend working, and easily paying my bills.

Which job should I take?

Many of us look at one thing when it comes to work: the salary. We judge each job opportunity by the size of the salary and benefits package. However, when you take time into consideration, the salary does not seem so important. If I am going to spend the MAJORITY of my time doing something, I better be happy while I am doing it, or getting something equal to it’s investment.

If I am going to be miserable, even if the pay is good, it is not worth the time. On the same note, if I am going to spend my time to pay my bills each month, only to leave the job years later and have to immediately find another to pay my bills because I was unable to save, what is the point? I’d rather invest my time to help me climb up the financial ladder, then to just spend all my time moving laterally.

I can’t do that.

No matter what it is, this right here is the biggest bunch of baloney in the entire English language. This phrase should be banned for its lunacy. If all we have is time, then we certainly can do anything we put our mind to. We may not want to do something, or we may be afraid to do something, but saying we can’t do anything is just ludicrous. If we invest the time, anything is possible.

I really want to reach this goal, but I don’t have the time.

Well, if you’ve read this far you certainly understand that you do have the time. In fact, that is all we have. Now, your time may be tied up with other things, but the question is, what is more important to you: Spending your time doing other things that appear important, or taking the initiative to spend your time do what you always dreamed?

I’ll tell you this: No one ever accidentally lived a dream life.

How much do you value your time?

Are you spending the majority of your time doing what you love? Does getting up in the morning feel good, or is it the first of a long series of dreaded events in your day?

Remember, time is all we really have. We get to decide how we spend it and just like money, it is an investment. What are you investing your time in? Is the end result really worth it, or are you just delaying the inevitable?

Only time will tell.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

It took only one human to invent electricity, one to discover the theory of relativity, one doctor to cure polio, and one man to lead the civil rights movement of the 60s. Albert Einstein had a problem, Jonas Salk had a mission, Martin Luther King had a dream, Thomas Edison had a goal, and hundreds like them had the same courage to live out their dreams no matter what that entailed.

Albert Einstein once said ‘It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.’

Martin Luther King had a dream that many were afraid to listen to, yet he told the world about it.

Jonas Salk tested the initial polio vaccine on his wife, daughter, and himself.

Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he revolutionized the world by inventing the incandescent light bulb.

All of these men were not afraid to be themselves, and trust in who they were, especially when times were rough. They knew the obstacles they faced caused everyone else to run in the opposite direction, however they stayed the course because they believed in themselves, no matter what that meant.

The question is, are you afraid to be yourself and live out your dreams?

This is not a challenging question, but rather one to be contemplated for a bit. You see, I can admit that I was very afraid to be myself for a long time. If you would have asked me then, I would have told you you were crazy, and probably tried to fight you (ooooh, to be young again).

Finding ourselves

Being who we are can be very difficult at times, especially when it conflicts with those around us. That is why there are so many mean people in the world. They are mean because they are afraid to be themselves, and some, rightfully so. Being themselves has caused others to mock, pick on, or worse, even physically hurt them. The world can be a tough place when you try to walk your own path. However, the end result is you wind up where no one else has before.

Being honest with ourself is another daily challenge we all face. Are we really listening to ourselves, or are we listening to our own excuses? It is the complexity of our mind that can make self honesty such a challenge. Yet, if we can truly be honest with ourselves, our life intelligence will grow at a rapid pace.

It took major surgery and a year of being stricken with a severe case of Crohn’s disease for me to see the importance of being myself. I was 18 years old, and faced with the prospect of never living a normal life again. After that experience, I started to chase what I love in life. There have been some bumps in the road since then, but somehow, I always wind up back on the same course toward my dreams. Sometimes a tragic experience can have an effect where suddenly, everything you thought was important means nothing now. In another words, your mind is cleared from all the bullshit we encounter in our lives, so it can see what really is important in our life.

Just Go Do It

Being yourself is not as easy as we might think. It takes hard, consistent work. Our brains are extremely adept at rationalization. So you may want to be that baseball player, but your brain will rationalize whether or not you can before you even try. You may think you are not big enough, or fast enough, or strong enough, or athletic enough, or even lucky enough. Whatever rationalization works best, your brain will find to avoid failure.

However, if we were never told such things, and wanted to be a ball player, we would simply just go out and do it.

What I have found is that being yourself is a challenge worth undertaking. It is like an individual revolution all inside your head. Suddenly, the straps are off, and you are free to roam the world fueled by your passion, without the chains of other’s judgement and/or opinion to hold you down. Every decision you make is actually decided internally, and not through three phone conversations and your Facebook friends list.

Standing Out is a Superpower

Being yourself is the only true way to stand out from the crowd, and conquer your dreams. You may think and feel like everyone else, but we are all unique in certain ways. It can be our passions, dreams, goals, or simply confidence that we can go where no one else has gone before, that separates us from the pack. Whatever it is, it is certainly worth pursuing.

Becoming an individual is like having a superpower, and not the crap super powers you see on twitter either. It is a superpower of individuality. No longer will you have to have others think for you. No longer will you accept the spoken word as fact. No longer will you live an ordinary life. It will become extraordinary, because it becomes your own.

Life in pursuit of your dreams is a sacrifice many of us are unwilling to undertake. There is much bark, but little bite when it comes down to the moment of truth. I think this is because the first, and hardest step, is going out on our own and simply being who we are, no matter what that means. People may not admit it, but there is a certain respect we have for someone who does their own thing, even if it’s not our thing. If we were to dig deeper in our psyche, I bet we would find that that respect is based on a hint of jealousy we have not done the same.

Everyday I work on being myself. I discover new things, work on my weaknesses, and continue to grow. We all do, whether we realize it or not. Some days are better than others. I can safely say that it is not a steady climb up the mountain. Some days we climb up, and some days we fall down. However, if we keep pursuing that goal, there is only one possible destination.

If you need a reminder stronger than this, check out the stories of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Jonas Salk, and Thomas Edison. Believe it or not, they were not that much different than you.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every person in the world runs into at least one problem a day. When you are a business owner, it can seem like you run into a problem per minute. Every time you solve one dilemma, an even tougher one seems to pop up out of nowhere. 

Dealing with problems is part of the job description for every entrepreneur. If you are not dealing with them, you are certainly delegating who is. Either way, you are going to set the tone for how problems are handled in your business, and better know the difference between problem solving and problem evolving.

If you tend to get emotional, your staff will do the same. If you tend to ignore the problems, your staff will follow suit. If you are waiting for someone to care more about your business than you, you are simply not cut from entrepreneurial cloth. Your business is your baby. Problems come with the business. Therefore, problems become your baby. The question is, are you a problem evolver, or a problem solver?

Problem Evolvers

Oxford American dictionaries states the definition of evolve is ‘to develop gradually, from a simple to a complex form‘. When a problem arises in a business, a problem evolver takes the initial problem and begins to mold it into something much, much worse. Their focus is solely on the problem, it’s possible consequences, and how they can be affected by it the least.

Problem evolvers tend to constantly bring up the problem, it’s inevitable doom, and who is to blame. They focus on the problem, who is responsible for it, and what consequences that party shall face. Instead of focusing on the solution, they make the person most responsible for the problem the target of their energy.

Problem Solvers

To solve a problem, according to Oxford American, means to ‘find an answer to, explanation for, or means for effectively dealing with (a problem or a mystery).‘ Essentially, problem solvers treat problems like a big game. They turn problems into fun riddles and challenges that drive them to find solutions.

Problem solvers never pinpoint blame, even if it is rightfully deserved. They don’t see an employee or a client as a problem. They see the position that that employee or client was put in as the problem. Problem solvers don’t worry about the potential consequences. They focus on how to surpass those obstacles, even when it seems there is no hope of doing so. Problem solvers remain calm, cool, and collected in order to take a fresh approach to the problem. After all, it is a game, and they want to win as much as possible.

The Unavoidable Truth

Truth be told, if you are in business, you are going to have to learn to deal with problems on a consistent basis. The growth of your business, especially if it’s yours, solely depends on your ability to navigate through the daily, sometimes seemingly insurmountable problems that swoop in like rain clouds on a sunny day.

If you can’t avoid them, you might as well learn to enjoy them. Become a problem solver, make it all a game, and challenge yourself to lead your business through whatever storm might come next. You are ready. You are confident. You are excited, because you are a Problem solver. Problems are what you love. In fact, you look forward to them and revel in setting an example for your staff and clients. Handling them is the daily challenge that gets you out o bed in the morning. What once was a burden, now becomes your fuel. Say it with me…

‘I am a problem solver. Handling problems is what I do. I know a problem without a solution does not exist. In fact, the bigger the problem, the more fun the challenge.‘

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Inspired recently by Napolean Hill’s classic book ‘Think and Grow Rich‘, my partner and I recently sat down to plan our strategy to make more money than we can count. The following steps are the process we went through over the last year to get to the point where we were able to make this plan. There are six steps in the plan put forth in ‘Think and Grow Rich’. I have included them in this list, and added my interpretation of them. If you have not read ‘Think and Grow Rich’, I certainly suggest it. I can’t say it will make you rich, whatever your definition of that is, but it will certainly open your mind to the fact of just how possible it is to become so.

1. Think about what type of life you would like to live.

Don’t think about money. Money is pointless at this stage. In fact, pretend money does not exist. You simply have to choose what you will spend the majority of your time on. Now, don’t worry about changing your mind. That is okay. The important thing is to be successful in whatever you do, so learning how to succeed on one path will easily translate over to the next. Even if you pick the wrong path, it will not be a waste of time.

2. Write down how much money you would like to make.

As Napolean Hill says, you need to define this number and make a commitment to it. Write it down on a piece of paper right now. Don’t be scared either. I wrote down $200 million. My partner wrote down $333 million. Remember, this is our one life. If we are not going to try and go big, then why try at all? 

3. Write down what you are willing to sacrifice for this financial gain.

Napolean Hill opened my eyes to a very simple concept, that for some reason or other, had eluded me. If you want to make a lot of money, it is going to take sacrifice. It is not simply, think about it, and it will happen. You are going to have to give up family time, weekends, hobbies, television, and all sorts of things. Right now, list all of the things you are willing to give up to reach this goal. Remember, the higher the sum, the more sacrifice it requires.

4. Make a due date.

Another great step from ‘Think and Grow Rich’. Define the time period in which you want to achieve this goal by setting a due date to reach it. Now, don’t be scared to make the commitment. I wrote down 3 years with a due date of 7/4/2012. You can write down anything you like. The important part is to make that date and stand by it no matter what. Write it down right now.

5. Make a plan to acquire those sums.

This step from the book is quite useful. It helped us tremendously. You see, my partner and I had a couple of services that we are releasing this June. Now, originally, we were set on a certain strategy for marketing these services. We were thinking, in a few years, we may be able to collect enough monthly to pay all our bills. However, with this new commitment to a large financial gain, we had to think bigger. So we did, and what we came up with is incredible! I am not able to delve into details at this time, but the idea is probably our best idea yet. I can’t believe we didn’t see it before. We would have never thought of it had we not been forced to plan a way on how to make our fortune.

What I learned while doing this is, if you do not make a plan, how can you hope to achieve that sum? The answer is you can’t. That’s why, right now, you need to take some time and write down exactly how you plan to acquire the sum you desire. Don’t worry about the small details. Just get to thinking how you are going to take your passion, and turn it into gold.

6. Read it 2x a Day

So you now have a list. Napolean Hill, and my partner who had read hundreds of similar books, both say you should write the plan as if it already happened. For example, you may write…

“In the last 3 years, I have acquired $200 million dollars. To get this sum, I have sacrificed time with my family, weekends, television, training, luxuries, expensive dinners, good credit, sweat, blood, and tears. My fortune was acquired by (insert plan here). 3 years ago, I made a deal that by today, I will have acquired $200 million. There is no feeling quite like knowing I achieved my goal. It is too treasured to try and explain with mere words.“

Napolean Hill suggests reading it when you wake up, and before you go to bed. I think, as long as you read it daily, it will have the same effect. The important part is to get a taste of the incredible feeling of reaching that goal every time you read it. That is your daily motivation, Not the money, but that feeling of success. Right now, write down your own tale, as you would be telling it to others, after it is accomplished.

7. Believe in Your Ability

One of the things this book has done for me is it cemented the thought in my head that I really can do anything I want to. I think, along the course of our life, barraged by negativity day after day, we tend to doubt our ability to achieve things. ‘Sure, I’d love to be rich, but I’m just not the rich type.’ If you think like this, unfortunately, you are a 100% right.

To follow your plan, you must believe in it whole heartedly. You must believe that even if you are not ready at this very moment, by following that path, you will become as ready as you will ever be. It is not you that makes the path, but rather the path that makes you. You have made a commitment because you believed in your self. Now you have to do your best to stick to it.

8.  Start Right Now!

This is Napolean Hill’s final step in his book. He points out that, whether you are ready or not, you must start on this plan right now. It reminds me of starting out in Jiu Jitsu. They don’t show you moves, and make sure you know what to do before you start. Instead, they simply throw you right into the fire. To become good at Jiu Jitsu, you must first learn what NOT to do, before you learn what to do. The same goes for your plan. Jump right into the fire, and trust in your ability to adapt. Humans are nature’s greatest example of adaptation, so don’t tell me you don’t adapt well. Tell me you choose not to let yourself adapt well, because you are afraid you might not succeed. That is the truth, and from here on out, as you set out to start on this plan, the truth is all you have left.

9. Be honest with yourself.

Making a commitment to reach a goal is quite scary. It may sound ridiculous to others. It may invoke some teasing from friends and family. People think I am a moron when I tell them I am going to make $200 million in the next three years. However, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I don’t expect them to believe me. If someone told me that, I would not believe them either.

The truth is, you are not telling these people when you speak to them. You are telling yourself. You are being honest with yourself and your intentions. This is an important part of self confidence. Be firm in what you want. Don’t let anyone tell you different. It is your life, and the only thing you can do, is be honest with yourself about how you want to live it.

10. Money is not important.

This may seem ironic. If money is not important, than why the hell did we waste our time on the first 9 steps? The answer is that money is one part of living a stress free life. The feeling of reaching the goal you set out to reach is the true treasure of this journey. Imagine the possibilities that will open if you firmly believed you can achieve anything if you actually committed your mind to it. Think about the smug feeling of confidence you would have the next time somebody laughs at your lofty goals.

This is the feeling you need to have right now. This is the feeling of confidence you need to make your plan a reality. It’s not about the money, even though there will be plenty. It’s about harnessing the power of your mind, and realizing that with the gifts you have right now, anything, anything at all, is possible. It’s just a matter of committing yourself to it. Are you ready?

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

“The whole world is nuts. The only difference is the kind of shell we wear to protect us.” – Pj

Maybe it’s me, but lately I think everyone is a little on edge. I would imagine it has a lot to do with the economy. ‘Everyone is hurting out there, it’s just a matter to what degree’, a client recently told me. When money gets tight, emotions run high, and people can take out their rage in the strangest of places.

A perfect example of this is the other day. I was walking my dog through my development as I normally do. I live in a condo community, where you own everything on the inside, and they take care of the outside. You know, the basic definition of a condo. I stopped to talk to a neighbor about a stray cat everyone knows that animal control scooped up. I got the info I was looking for and continued walking. I stepped on the corner of grass in front of one of the condos when I heard a yell.

‘Hey, WTF are you doing? That’s the 2nd time I’ve seen you step on my grass.’

From out of their garage, this neighbor rapidly proceeded to get in my face with no shirt on. It was almost laughable. I explained to the dude that, first of all, it was not his grass. Second of all, you don’t have to be rude about it. If you would like me not to walk on someone elses’s grass, just ask politely. The dude acted as if he had snapped, and then regained control. He apologized briefly and just asked me to watch the grass he maintains.

Now, imagine being so angry in life that you are laying in your garage, waiting for someone to step on the corner of grass in front of a condo that you are renting. That’s right, not only does he not own the grass, he does not own the house either, yet he is worried about the grass.

I have noticed a rise in incidents like this ever since the economy started to decline. There seems to be more angry drivers, shoppers, customers, clients, and even business owners roaming about the world today. It is very tough out there right now, and the stress can weigh heavily on our minds throughout the day. Then, all of a sudden, one little incident can trigger a nuclear reaction. However, be careful out there. You never know when you might be messing with a blog writer who will tell your story to the whole world.

Even if you aren’t messing with a blog writer, it is important to not let the stress and emotions get the best of you. Currently, as I write this, I can think of many of my friends who would love to have their biggest challenge be navigating the current economy:

• My great friend, and ex-MMA fighter, who is now paralyzed after a motorcycle accident.
• My good friend growing up, who let drugs ruin his life, and now lives 50,000 miles away in Hawaii, unable to reconnect with his past out of fear of relapsing. He can’t even see his mother anymore.
• My sister’s friend who lost her sister in an automobile accident.
• A Cop in a town near me who’s 2 year old daughter just died from a rare sickness.

These are the kind of things that make us sit back and think that money problems are really no big deal. One way or another, we will get through them, and move on. Life is too big to stop for money issues, and so should we be. Why let some bills and debt ruin the days we are blessed to be above ground? So times are bad, economically. That does not mean they have to be bad overall.

I hope this post is a reminder to everyone of the important things in life. It sure is for me. It’s important to focus on your family, health, and happiness, not on the bills you can’t pay, or the job you hate. All of these things are changeable. None of them are life threatening, and in a few years, you may even sit back and laugh about it.

Until then, let’s all try to smile a little more during these trying times. Whether we are doing real good, or having the worst day, the fact that we are able to do one or the other, is really what we should be smiling about. I learned this first hand when I was hospitalized at 18 with Crohn’s disease. At the time, they did not know if I would get better. I remember all the little things I used to be concerned with kind of dissipated into thin air. They just seemed so trivial now that my quality of life was in danger.

Hopefully, it does not take a serious disease to teach you this valuable lesson. However bad things may seem, just remember, they could always be worse, just like they could always be better. At the end of the day, what’s really the difference? A good day is great, and a bad day makes you appreciate the good ones. Either way, we always win, no matter what our mind tries to tell us.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Everyone in life has their position. Whether at work, in your own business, in sports, at the dinner table, financially, or even in your personal relationships, their is an element of positioning. When trying to climb the ladder of success, we are inherently trying to improve our position in life, be it at work, or in our bank account.

Accountability

The first step to fighting for a better position in life is similar to a lot of first steps: Accountability. We must understand that what ever position we are in, it is because we settled for that spot. It is not because of any other reason. We decided at some point that this particular position was good enough. It might not have been a conscience decision. You may not have even thought of it that way, but the truth is, at some point, you accepted the position you are in.

That is okay. We all settle into a position at some point, at least until it gets uncomfortable again. Then we squirm around to try and find a new position. Some of us are eager to move up. Some of us will come tumbling down, and many of us will find it easier to move laterally. Moving laterally means we switch positions, but instead of moving up or down the ladder of success, we just move a little to the right, or to the left. So, yes our position has changed, but not the level we are on. It is almost like sitting in an uncomfortable chair, and then shifting your weight. It may feel good for a minute or two, but the bottom line is, no matter how much you try to make it, the chair will never be comfortable for long.

Settling for Less

Every position you are in you have settled for. Now that we understand that, we can see that if we are unhappy with our position, then we are really just unhappy that we settled for it. The position is not the problem. That is just a space that we fill. However, if you find that space uncomfortable, or unsatisfying, then only you can make the choice to improve it. To do this, you must make a deal with yourself that you will not settle for less than what you want.

When I graduated film school, I had to do something to make money quick. My family sold their 7 year old summer camp business, and now I was on my own to earn a living again. I was engaged to be married, had no job, lived at my parent’s house, and didn’t have a clue how to make money with the skills I had with a camera.

I started out trying to write screenplays, but they just were not good enough to garner any attention. So, instead of chugging along and finding my way, I jumped at the first opportunity I had to earn a living: mortgages. A friend of mine from Jiu Jitsu owned a huge company and I was eager to make some money and get some bills to pay. At the time, it seemed like the decision to take this job was what was best my wife to be, my parents, and myself.

This is the perfect example of settling for less. I didn’t want to just pay my bills. My goal was to pay my bills doing what I was passionate about. However, as soon as it got a little difficult, I switched paths to the easier road, and convinced myself paying my bills in anyway is what was best for everyone. So yes, for a little while I got to pay my bills, but in the end, when the economy got in trouble, I was left right where I started, with more debt, higher bills, and still with the problem of trying to earn a living using a camera.

Due to this, one rule of thumb I now live by is that if I am debating a decision, and the best argument I can come up with to do something is that it is what’s best for everyone ELSE, then I will no longer do it. I have learned that it is not selfish to do what’s best for you, cause in the end, what’s best for you is really what’s best for everyone else around you.

Learning First Hand on the Mat

As with most of life, I have found the perfect analogy for this in Jiu Jitsu. Just like chess, Jiu Jitsu is a big position battle. You are constantly fighting to get a better position then your opponent. In fact, many people who watch the UFC will complain when it goes to the ground because they feel the fight is boring. If you actually trained, you would enjoy all the battling for position that goes on when it looks like these fighters are just rolling around on the ground, because you would understand the importance.

Position is extremely important in Jiu Jitsu, just like in life. And, just like life again, if you wind up in a bad position on the mat, there is no one to blame accept you. You either made an error, or gave up fighting, and now your opponent has secured a dominant position.

When you are rolling (the term for sparring) in Jiu jitsu, many times you will find yourself tired as another one of these position battles happens. For example, you are exhausted, and your opponent is holding you down in side control like the following pic…

photo credit – Side Control Position

From here, as you are trying to catch your breath to escape, your opponent begins sliding their right knee across your stomach to try and gain the following mount position.

photo credit – Mount Position

Once an opponent has the mount position, it can be very tough to survive much longer. They are in a dominant position that makes it extremely tough for you to get out without exhausting much of your energy. Many times this is the beginning of the end in a match.

So let’s review the steps one more time. An opponent who had side control while you are catching your wind, begins to slide their knee across to try and get the dominant mount position. You have two choices here.

1. You can rest up, let the opponent get the mount, and then try to fight from there.
2. You can suck it up and fight like hell to make sure the opponent never gets the knee across and secures the mount because you know the fight from there is a hell of a lot tougher then the one you face now, no matter how tired you are.

Many times as a white belt, I chose choice #1, letting my opponent advance while I recovered. This always turned out to be a mistake no matter how tired I was. By resting, I was delaying fighting a necessary battle to reach my goal of winning. Inevitably I would have to fight anyway, but now from a much worse position. Each time I thought the rest was more important when the battle started. Each time, I was wrong.

In life, it is much the same. Many times we decide not to fight for a certain position because we are tired, or we convince ourselves it is not worth it. We fail to fight for better pay, or a better deal, or a better whatever. We settle for what we don’t have to fight for and just like on the mat, we usually find ourselves still fighting that battle, but from a much worse position later on.

The Key

The best way to secure a better position in life is to always be prepared to fight for it. Identify the position you are in, and where you are trying to go. Then, even when you are tired, worn out, or it is the last thing you want, if it is relevant to your success, you must fight for it. Otherwise, you risk losing ground to many others who will be trying to pass you on their way up the ladder. Once they get ahead, it is at least twice as hard to catch up.

In Life, unlike Jiu Jitsu, instead of battling one opponent, we face a myriad of opposition every day. So these fights can come from every direction. Sometimes they don’t even appear to be a fight. However, the bottom line is, if you want a better position in life, it is not going to come easy. You have to be prepared to pay the price for the position you want, and fight like hell to maintain and improve it. The better the position, the harder the fight. It’s all relative.

So the next time you feel that something is no big deal, or you’ll just handle it later, think of your positioning. Many times, you will realize, better to fight now, rather then let it go, and have to work twice as hard later on.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

First off, I hope every Mother had a great weekend. Seems like one day a year is kind of a small price to pay for the amount of support and love a mother can give all year long. Hope the weekend met every mother’s expectations.

Speaking of weekends, I read a great article on Sunday in ESPN the Magazine (May 18th, 2009) titled ‘Mixed Messenger’ by Michael Woods. For all you fight fans, it is a story about the life of Dana White, the head honcho of the UFC. The story takes place at some different times in the life of Dana leading up to the Anderson Silva vs. James Irvin fight. What struck me about the article is the quote they used at the end to sum up the story:

“The picture of Dana White? A little clearer. He’s savvy, but savage, creative but crude, organized but unpredictable – also the recipe for success in the cage.”

Basically, Woods describes him as a ‘walking contradiction’, but in a good way. Like the yin and the yang, Dana has two sides to him, both of which play a pivotal role in who he has become. It was in reading this quote that I felt a lot better about myself. I, too, can be a walking contradiction, as we all can.

What this quote, and story, showed me, was that it’s okay to be both sides of the coin. There are times that call for you to be a nice, caring person. However, if you want to survive in the shady world we live in, then you have to be able to flip the switch, and be ruthless against whatever obstacles stand in your way. In another words, being just one way is sometimes not enough. A fighter can not come in the cage and beat every opponent with the same strategy, and neither can we expect to overcome every obstacle with the same approach in real life.

To be successful in the cage, you have to be prepared, be adaptable, and ready for the unthinkable. Sounds a lot like life, huh? Well, it is. In the cage, all the chit chatter, the reputations, and the thoughts of other people mean absolutely nothing when those cage doors close. Same with life. If you think about it, all the chit chatter, reputations, and things people say about you mean are not the reason whether we succeed or not.

The recipe for success in the cage, and in life, is to be yourself. Dana White gets a lot of flak about his public cursing, his savage response to his critics, and his image as a ruthless CEO. So what? You think he, or his bosses the Fertita brothers, really care? Of course not. They know that Dana being Dana is the reason they are where they are today. They know Dana routinely gives money to people in need, and is a nice caring person. However, they know he is not someone the competition wants to cross either. We should all take note of this when we try to conform to what other people think around us.

photo credit

This is not to say it is okay to walk around and be an asshole. However, I am saying that sometimes in life, the best way to get what you want is to be an asshole. Early Sunday morning, while thinking about this, I caught the movie about Madonna’s rise to fame called Madonna: Innocence Lost.

One noticeable thing in the movie was how many of the friends she made that she left behind. It almost seem like she was a ruthless bitch going after her dreams, not caring who she hurt in her way. However, there is one line in the movie that really lets you understand what she is about. Madonna is about to make it big, and is very frustrated with her managers inability to get her a record deal. When she finds someone who can get her that deal, she jumps at the chance. Needless to say, the manager, who has risked everything on Madonna, is devastated. She gets very upset and threatens to throw Madonna out on the street. Madonna responds (at least in the movie):

“Don’t be mad at me because I am moving on and you can’t come with me.”

She goes on to explain how everyone gets mad at her because as she moves on, her friends can’t come with her. That is not her fault, that’s just the way it is. That really made a lot of sense. Life is not predictable, fair, or easy for any of us. Chances and opportunities are far and few between. So when one comes along that can make our dreams come true, we must not miss out because of what other’s may think. If the others are true friends, they will understand. I’m sure Madonna is not regretting getting that record deal and releasing ‘Like a Virgin’.

Dana White, Madonna, and a host of other successful people all have similar stories. They are all caring, creative, ambitious human beings who won’t take no for an answer, or let anyone get in the way of their goals. They can be caring, as well as ruthless in their ambition, depending on what the world calls for. I think we could all learn a little from them as we chase our own dreams in life.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Are you a control freak? I think we all are at times, some more than others. Over the course of the last few years, as my business has slowly grown, I have learned that a big key to success is learning to let go and not freak the hell out about it. If you find yourself freaking out at the thought of letting someone else do work for your business without you looking over their shoulder, then this post is definitely for you.

For those of you who don’t know, I am partners in the media production company Pixel Mobb. Being that we are content creators, as well as web and video guys, it would seem logical for us to design our own website and marketing materials. However, when you are building a business, paying the bills comes first. So creating content for clients has taken priority over our creating content for us.

Not only that, but we also have had quite a hard time branding ourselves, though apparently that is normal. My partner recently read about a famous logo designer that took 12 years to design his own logo. I guess it can be hard when you have to do it for yourself, and not a client. A client gives direction, feedback, and provides work that has no previous emotional attachment. When it’s time for you to give direction and feedback on your own company, many things can cloud the focus you need to have.

That’s why you need to learn about letting go.

Entrepreneurs are hungry, motivated, do-it-yourself type of people. They don’t let obstacles stand in the way of their goals. They do what they have to to get things done. These are excellent traits, and necessary in order to achieve success. However, the one thing entrepreneurs have a tough time with, is letting go of the steering wheel for their business.

For example, I have had many clients who hired us to do a site with this exact problem. They loved our ideas, our portfolio, and our personality. We sign the contract, work out the details, and get to building the site. When they look at the design comps however, they want to make changes. They want to move things around for no particular reason other then that’s where they think it should go. They want to resize things, and use elements in the site they think are cool, or that a friend of a friend gave them.

Now, you may be reading this saying that is their right as a client. Truth be told, you are right. In the end, we will do what the client wants. However, time and time again, that client’s site does not succeed the way they envisioned. Sure, they get what they wanted, but they don’t get the important part: our company’s experience. Each decision we make is based on the tons of experience we have. The funny thing is, our experience is the only reason a client even hires us anyway.

The reason they hired us was because they liked what we have done as professionals. After they hired us, though, these particular clients acted as if they were the professionals. They hired us to do a job, and now they are telling us what to do.

Picture this with another occupation, such as a house builder. Imagine telling the builder what materials to use, where to put the nails, and the order to build the house in. The builder would tell you you’re crazy, and not take the job.

Now, while I complain about my clients like this, as a business owner, I have also been THOSE clients. I have caught myself telling ideas to people with much more experience than me, then thinking to myself, what the hell am I doing? I hired these professionals, let me do what they say. That is when the relief washes over me. It’s not my responsibility. Give them a chance and see if they do well. If not, you will find out that you have not hired the right person, which is my responsibility. Hiring a robot is not good for any business, as what’s the point of hiring a company you have to take time to manage?

There is none, except to ease your fears that it won’t turn out the way you want. However, you need to move past that, and trust in your ability to hire the right people for the job.

This is called letting go.

It can be the single toughest thing for you to possibly do with your business. At the end of the day, most business owners are control freaks in one way or another. In order to learn to let go, and keep your wits about you, I have come up with the following list.

5 Reasons To Let Go & Not Freak the Hell Out

photo credit

1. Know your role.

You have hired a person to do a job. There is a reason for that. Either you can not do it yourself, you lack the experience, of you simply lack the time. Whatever the reason, you have hired this person to take their time to complete your objective. If you don’t have the time, experience, or knowledge to do it yourself, then you don’t have the time, experience, or knowledge to tell someone how to do it either. Make sense?

2. Your input has it’s limitations.

Many entrepreneurs are great idea people. It comes with the territory. However, you must know the limitations of your input. It is very cool to give ideas, concepts, examples, and goals to the people you have hired to do a job. It is very important to also understand that these are just ideas. Your ideas are the starting point, not the ending point. You have hired this person to take you from start to finish. Give them the starting point, and then let them lead you to the finish.

3. Encourage, don’t direct

The goal when you hire someone is to get them to do the best job possible. Sometimes, to understand their job, I will put myself in the person’s shoes who I have hired.

• How would I react to the direction I am giving?
• If this was me, what would make me do the best possible job?

I try to answer these questions before I give my direction. A good baseball coach doesn’t tell the pitcher what to throw. Instead he uses motivation to get the pitcher confident enough to have faith in whatever pitch he chooses to throw. The same should go for you.

4. Firm vs. Flexible

I’m sure you all want to know, what happens if you let go, and the person screws it up royally? Well, that is a legitimate fear for concern. In order to avoid this, it is important to understand where to be firm and where to be flexible. The place to put your foot down is in your goals for the project. If I am building you a website, I need to understand what your goal is for the site. It is very important that a client stay firm in what they want to accomplish. This is important, because it is a major part of the starting point.

Where you need to be flexible is in the approach to reach the goal. Let the professional guide you into the right approach. Ask them why this approach is best to meet your goals. Question them on the process, and how that is going to help you reach your goal. However, don’t direct them on how to achieve the goal you want. That is why you hired them. Your job is to provide them what they need to do their job, not on how to do it.

5. Freaking out is a waste of precious time.

You heard it here first. Well, probably not, but it is true. Freaking out, worrying, or any of that emotional stuff is simply a waste of time. Better to spend your day controlling what you can, then worrying about all the things you can’t.

This is not to say anticipating problems is bad. It is quite beneficial to anticipate what could go wrong. However, all you can do is anticipate and prepare for it. Worrying and stressing over it just puts you in a weaker mind state which makes getting imperative work done twice as hard. Be confident in your preparation, and learn to let go.

You may be quite amazed the amount of clarity you have when you learn to let go. It is a scary, but great feeling. Remember, if someone does not do a good job, it’s not because you weren’t telling them how to do it. It’s cause you hired the wrong person for the job. Concentrate on finding the right people, testing them out, and if they are good, you will not have to worry again. That is where you can become more successful as an entrepreneur.

That is why letting go is so important. Don’t think of it as letting go of control. Think of it as letting go of useless fear, worry, and stress, cause in reality, that’s what it really is. The only place these fears, worry, and stress exist is in your head. If it is not in your head, then truth be told, it doesn’t even exist. Imagine that.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

The last few weeks have been a bit tough for me. Although it has been quite exciting building my business, and seeing projects coming to fruition, the problem has been in making enough steady money to live comfortably.  The future actually looks bright. It’s just, in the present, it’s still raining. I’m sure every entrepreneur knows the feeling. The money you make goes right back into the business as you keep on molding it to perfection, time and time again.

Yesterday, it just seemed like from the minute I got up, to the minute I went to sleep, the bad news just kept on rolling in. To sum it up briefly, there were credit card problems, client issues, a sick family cat that is not looking good, and my wife quit her job. You could say it was quite a whirlwind day.

In the middle of this nightmare, I went to my partner’s house to work on further branding our business, and finally put up our own website instead of everyone else’s. While he was going through the process, my head was spinning with all sorts of nonsense. I had too many things to worry about. The pressure felt overwhelming. What was I going to do? 

“PETE!”

….my partner yelled. He could tell I was on another planet. I fessed up and tried selling him on my problems, but he wouldn’t bite. Then he said something that took a little while to sink in, but eventually eased my mind. It was one of those things that is so obvious you almost don’t pay attention to the legitimacy of it.

He said, ‘What is worrying going to do about it?’

That had always been my motto on life. When I was sick, I did not worry about getting better. I just focused on getting through each day. The same goes for now. Things are rough out there, and starting a business in these times is very challenging. It is even more challenging when you need to sustain a certain level of living that your family is used to.

However, worrying about things is only wasting time.

In fact, I’ll take it further and say that worrying is actually a cop out to dealing with the problem. Instead of taking proactive steps to sturdy my situation, and fight through the rough spots, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was worrying about what I was going to do instead of actually doing something.

It’s like a fighter standing in the ring worried about getting knocked out. If you are thinking about it, chances are, it will happen. You don’t worry about getting hit when you fight. You expect it. You just focus on your game and trying to set the pace no matter what they throw at you.

If you are worried, you are not focused, and that means you will most likely fail.

I think this is a common trap many entrepreneurs fall into while trying to get their business off the ground. We get tied down with deciding each day whether or not we are going to make it. We worry about the outcome instead of dealing with the now. In the end, though, the ‘now’ is all we can control. We may be able to come up with all sorts of possible outcomes in our head, but none of them matter. The only thing that matters is what you do TODAY.

We must learn to stop worrying about whether or not it’s going to work out. As my partner said, have faith in yourself. It is going to work. It’s just a matter of taking care of the now. After this pep talk, we got down to branding Reimagine, and it went rather well. Instead of wasting time worrying about my situation, we spent it on making my situation easier for the future. I just have to remember that it all happens just one step at a time. Nobody leaps the staircase to success in a single bound. Not even Superman.

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