Yin vs Yang » self help

All We Really Have is Time. How do you spend it?

Peter James — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 12:53:08 +0000

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Life can be very confusing with all the stimulus our mind has to deal with each day. We have bills to pay, family to make happy, work to do, bosses/clients to satisfy, dreams of a better life, and reality standing in our way.

All of this stimulus can really throw a wrench in our ability to prioritize what is really important, and what appears important on a daily basis. There is so much going on that we don’t know what we should focus on. Instead, we try to focus on it all.

I experienced the same type of situation while gaining rank in Jiu Jitsu. When I was a white belt, there was so much going on that I tried to pay attention to, my mind was unable to keep up with more experienced and athletic opponents. Everything my opponent did seemed like a battle for life or death.

Over time, as I got more comfortable, I learned to relax my mind and only pay attention to what is important. You see, all of the stuff I was paying attention to seemed important when I was a white belt. That is why every time my opponent moved, I reacted, or more likely, over reacted. This is because I did not understand what was, and was not important. Since I was not sure, I had to fight every battle as if it was my last.

Now that I am a purple belt (before brown) and carry five years of real experience, I do not react to my opponent’s every move. Each situation I get into, I am able to focus on what is important and disregard what used to appear important. So if my opponent is threatening a move, I know whether or not to take it seriously because I understand my priorities in each position I have experience in. In simple terms, I carefully pick my battles.

Life is much the same, though we don’t gain rank with colored belts. Instead, we gain rank in happiness. Much like any martial art, achieving happiness takes hard work. It is not easy to be happy. In order to truly be at peace with ourselves, we need to understand what we want in life.

On this Earth, no matter who we are, there is one thing we all have in common. That is time. Time is all any of us really have. If every government in the world toppled, and money no longer existed, time would still march on. There is no stopping it. The only thing you can do is roll with it. You can not save time. You have to spend it. So the question is, what do you invest your daily time in?

Valuing your time is a great way to prioritize your focus and motivate yourself. Remember, there is no choice on whether you spend your time or not. You are spending it regardless. Might as well get the most value out of it, no? If you look at the world from the view point of your time’s value, it becomes much easier to deal with the daily negativity and dilemmas we all face.

Here are some examples from my life:

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Someone says something bad about me.

In the past, I might try to confront them. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep until I did confront them. But now, I think of it in terms of my time’s value. Is it worth my time to deal with something somebody said? Or is it better to just move on and focus on my dreams?

I need to pay my bills, but I also have to grow my business.

My bills tell me I should get a job to pay them now. However, time tells me I need to invest as much of it as possible in my business to be successful. This helps me realize that, for me, growing my business takes priority over paying my monthly bills because it is my dream to earn a living doing what I love. It may suck for a little while, but in the end, I will be enjoying the time I spend working, and easily paying my bills.

Which job should I take?

Many of us look at one thing when it comes to work: the salary. We judge each job opportunity by the size of the salary and benefits package. However, when you take time into consideration, the salary does not seem so important. If I am going to spend the MAJORITY of my time doing something, I better be happy while I am doing it, or getting something equal to it’s investment.

If I am going to be miserable, even if the pay is good, it is not worth the time. On the same note, if I am going to spend my time to pay my bills each month, only to leave the job years later and have to immediately find another to pay my bills because I was unable to save, what is the point? I’d rather invest my time to help me climb up the financial ladder, then to just spend all my time moving laterally.

I can’t do that.

No matter what it is, this right here is the biggest bunch of baloney in the entire English language. This phrase should be banned for its lunacy. If all we have is time, then we certainly can do anything we put our mind to. We may not want to do something, or we may be afraid to do something, but saying we can’t do anything is just ludicrous. If we invest the time, anything is possible.

I really want to reach this goal, but I don’t have the time.

Well, if you’ve read this far you certainly understand that you do have the time. In fact, that is all we have. Now, your time may be tied up with other things, but the question is, what is more important to you: Spending your time doing other things that appear important, or taking the initiative to spend your time do what you always dreamed?

I’ll tell you this: No one ever accidentally lived a dream life.

How much do you value your time?

Are you spending the majority of your time doing what you love? Does getting up in the morning feel good, or is it the first of a long series of dreaded events in your day?

Remember, time is all we really have. We get to decide how we spend it and just like money, it is an investment. What are you investing your time in? Is the end result really worth it, or are you just delaying the inevitable?

Only time will tell.

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The Potent Power of Being You

Peter James — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 12:23:38 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

It took only one human to invent electricity, one to discover the theory of relativity, one doctor to cure polio, and one man to lead the civil rights movement of the 60s. Albert Einstein had a problem, Jonas Salk had a mission, Martin Luther King had a dream, Thomas Edison had a goal, and hundreds like them had the same courage to live out their dreams no matter what that entailed.

Albert Einstein once said ‘It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.’

Martin Luther King had a dream that many were afraid to listen to, yet he told the world about it.

Jonas Salk tested the initial polio vaccine on his wife, daughter, and himself.

Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he revolutionized the world by inventing the incandescent light bulb.

All of these men were not afraid to be themselves, and trust in who they were, especially when times were rough. They knew the obstacles they faced caused everyone else to run in the opposite direction, however they stayed the course because they believed in themselves, no matter what that meant.

The question is, are you afraid to be yourself and live out your dreams?

This is not a challenging question, but rather one to be contemplated for a bit. You see, I can admit that I was very afraid to be myself for a long time. If you would have asked me then, I would have told you you were crazy, and probably tried to fight you (ooooh, to be young again).

Finding ourselves

Being who we are can be very difficult at times, especially when it conflicts with those around us. That is why there are so many mean people in the world. They are mean because they are afraid to be themselves, and some, rightfully so. Being themselves has caused others to mock, pick on, or worse, even physically hurt them. The world can be a tough place when you try to walk your own path. However, the end result is you wind up where no one else has before.

Being honest with ourself is another daily challenge we all face. Are we really listening to ourselves, or are we listening to our own excuses? It is the complexity of our mind that can make self honesty such a challenge. Yet, if we can truly be honest with ourselves, our life intelligence will grow at a rapid pace.

It took major surgery and a year of being stricken with a severe case of Crohn’s disease for me to see the importance of being myself. I was 18 years old, and faced with the prospect of never living a normal life again. After that experience, I started to chase what I love in life. There have been some bumps in the road since then, but somehow, I always wind up back on the same course toward my dreams. Sometimes a tragic experience can have an effect where suddenly, everything you thought was important means nothing now. In another words, your mind is cleared from all the bullshit we encounter in our lives, so it can see what really is important in our life.

Just Go Do It

Being yourself is not as easy as we might think. It takes hard, consistent work. Our brains are extremely adept at rationalization. So you may want to be that baseball player, but your brain will rationalize whether or not you can before you even try. You may think you are not big enough, or fast enough, or strong enough, or athletic enough, or even lucky enough. Whatever rationalization works best, your brain will find to avoid failure.

However, if we were never told such things, and wanted to be a ball player, we would simply just go out and do it.

What I have found is that being yourself is a challenge worth undertaking. It is like an individual revolution all inside your head. Suddenly, the straps are off, and you are free to roam the world fueled by your passion, without the chains of other’s judgement and/or opinion to hold you down. Every decision you make is actually decided internally, and not through three phone conversations and your Facebook friends list.

Standing Out is a Superpower

Being yourself is the only true way to stand out from the crowd, and conquer your dreams. You may think and feel like everyone else, but we are all unique in certain ways. It can be our passions, dreams, goals, or simply confidence that we can go where no one else has gone before, that separates us from the pack. Whatever it is, it is certainly worth pursuing.

Becoming an individual is like having a superpower, and not the crap super powers you see on twitter either. It is a superpower of individuality. No longer will you have to have others think for you. No longer will you accept the spoken word as fact. No longer will you live an ordinary life. It will become extraordinary, because it becomes your own.

Life in pursuit of your dreams is a sacrifice many of us are unwilling to undertake. There is much bark, but little bite when it comes down to the moment of truth. I think this is because the first, and hardest step, is going out on our own and simply being who we are, no matter what that means. People may not admit it, but there is a certain respect we have for someone who does their own thing, even if it’s not our thing. If we were to dig deeper in our psyche, I bet we would find that that respect is based on a hint of jealousy we have not done the same.

Everyday I work on being myself. I discover new things, work on my weaknesses, and continue to grow. We all do, whether we realize it or not. Some days are better than others. I can safely say that it is not a steady climb up the mountain. Some days we climb up, and some days we fall down. However, if we keep pursuing that goal, there is only one possible destination.

If you need a reminder stronger than this, check out the stories of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Jonas Salk, and Thomas Edison. Believe it or not, they were not that much different than you.

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Are You A Problem Solver or a Problem Evolver?

Peter James — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:01:19 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every person in the world runs into at least one problem a day. When you are a business owner, it can seem like you run into a problem per minute. Every time you solve one dilemma, an even tougher one seems to pop up out of nowhere.

Dealing with problems is part of the job description for every entrepreneur. If you are not dealing with them, you are certainly delegating who is. Either way, you are going to set the tone for how problems are handled in your business, and better know the difference between problem solving and problem evolving.

If you tend to get emotional, your staff will do the same. If you tend to ignore the problems, your staff will follow suit. If you are waiting for someone to care more about your business than you, you are simply not cut from entrepreneurial cloth. Your business is your baby. Problems come with the business. Therefore, problems become your baby. The question is, are you a problem evolver, or a problem solver?

Problem Evolvers

Oxford American dictionaries states the definition of evolve is ‘to develop gradually, from a simple to a complex form‘. When a problem arises in a business, a problem evolver takes the initial problem and begins to mold it into something much, much worse. Their focus is solely on the problem, it’s possible consequences, and how they can be affected by it the least.

Problem evolvers tend to constantly bring up the problem, it’s inevitable doom, and who is to blame. They focus on the problem, who is responsible for it, and what consequences that party shall face. Instead of focusing on the solution, they make the person most responsible for the problem the target of their energy.

Problem Solvers

To solve a problem, according to Oxford American, means to ‘find an answer to, explanation for, or means for effectively dealing with (a problem or a mystery).‘ Essentially, problem solvers treat problems like a big game. They turn problems into fun riddles and challenges that drive them to find solutions.

Problem solvers never pinpoint blame, even if it is rightfully deserved. They don’t see an employee or a client as a problem. They see the position that that employee or client was put in as the problem. Problem solvers don’t worry about the potential consequences. They focus on how to surpass those obstacles, even when it seems there is no hope of doing so. Problem solvers remain calm, cool, and collected in order to take a fresh approach to the problem. After all, it is a game, and they want to win as much as possible.

The Unavoidable Truth

Truth be told, if you are in business, you are going to have to learn to deal with problems on a consistent basis. The growth of your business, especially if it’s yours, solely depends on your ability to navigate through the daily, sometimes seemingly insurmountable problems that swoop in like rain clouds on a sunny day.

If you can’t avoid them, you might as well learn to enjoy them. Become a problem solver, make it all a game, and challenge yourself to lead your business through whatever storm might come next. You are ready. You are confident. You are excited, because you are a Problem solver. Problems are what you love. In fact, you look forward to them and revel in setting an example for your staff and clients. Handling them is the daily challenge that gets you out o bed in the morning. What once was a burden, now becomes your fuel. Say it with me…

‘I am a problem solver. Handling problems is what I do. I know a problem without a solution does not exist. In fact, the bigger the problem, the more fun the challenge.‘

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10 Easy Steps To Make More Money Than You Can Count

Peter James — Fri, 22 May 2009 13:51:05 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Inspired recently by Napolean Hill’s classic book ‘Think and Grow Rich‘, my partner and I recently sat down to plan our strategy to make more money than we can count. The following steps are the process we went through over the last year to get to the point where we were able to make this plan. There are six steps in the plan put forth in ‘Think and Grow Rich’. I have included them in this list, and added my interpretation of them. If you have not read ‘Think and Grow Rich’, I certainly suggest it. I can’t say it will make you rich, whatever your definition of that is, but it will certainly open your mind to the fact of just how possible it is to become so.

1. Think about what type of life you would like to live.

Don’t think about money. Money is pointless at this stage. In fact, pretend money does not exist. You simply have to choose what you will spend the majority of your time on. Now, don’t worry about changing your mind. That is okay. The important thing is to be successful in whatever you do, so learning how to succeed on one path will easily translate over to the next. Even if you pick the wrong path, it will not be a waste of time.

2. Write down how much money you would like to make.

As Napolean Hill says, you need to define this number and make a commitment to it. Write it down on a piece of paper right now. Don’t be scared either. I wrote down $200 million. My partner wrote down $333 million. Remember, this is our one life. If we are not going to try and go big, then why try at all?

3. Write down what you are willing to sacrifice for this financial gain.

Napolean Hill opened my eyes to a very simple concept, that for some reason or other, had eluded me. If you want to make a lot of money, it is going to take sacrifice. It is not simply, think about it, and it will happen. You are going to have to give up family time, weekends, hobbies, television, and all sorts of things. Right now, list all of the things you are willing to give up to reach this goal. Remember, the higher the sum, the more sacrifice it requires.

4. Make a due date.

Another great step from ‘Think and Grow Rich’. Define the time period in which you want to achieve this goal by setting a due date to reach it. Now, don’t be scared to make the commitment. I wrote down 3 years with a due date of 7/4/2012. You can write down anything you like. The important part is to make that date and stand by it no matter what. Write it down right now.

5. Make a plan to acquire those sums.

This step from the book is quite useful. It helped us tremendously. You see, my partner and I had a couple of services that we are releasing this June. Now, originally, we were set on a certain strategy for marketing these services. We were thinking, in a few years, we may be able to collect enough monthly to pay all our bills. However, with this new commitment to a large financial gain, we had to think bigger. So we did, and what we came up with is incredible! I am not able to delve into details at this time, but the idea is probably our best idea yet. I can’t believe we didn’t see it before. We would have never thought of it had we not been forced to plan a way on how to make our fortune.

What I learned while doing this is, if you do not make a plan, how can you hope to achieve that sum? The answer is you can’t. That’s why, right now, you need to take some time and write down exactly how you plan to acquire the sum you desire. Don’t worry about the small details. Just get to thinking how you are going to take your passion, and turn it into gold.

6. Read it 2x a Day

So you now have a list. Napolean Hill, and my partner who had read hundreds of similar books, both say you should write the plan as if it already happened. For example, you may write…

“In the last 3 years, I have acquired $200 million dollars. To get this sum, I have sacrificed time with my family, weekends, television, training, luxuries, expensive dinners, good credit, sweat, blood, and tears. My fortune was acquired by (insert plan here). 3 years ago, I made a deal that by today, I will have acquired $200 million. There is no feeling quite like knowing I achieved my goal. It is too treasured to try and explain with mere words.“

Napolean Hill suggests reading it when you wake up, and before you go to bed. I think, as long as you read it daily, it will have the same effect. The important part is to get a taste of the incredible feeling of reaching that goal every time you read it. That is your daily motivation, Not the money, but that feeling of success. Right now, write down your own tale, as you would be telling it to others, after it is accomplished.

7. Believe in Your Ability

One of the things this book has done for me is it cemented the thought in my head that I really can do anything I want to. I think, along the course of our life, barraged by negativity day after day, we tend to doubt our ability to achieve things. ‘Sure, I’d love to be rich, but I’m just not the rich type.’ If you think like this, unfortunately, you are a 100% right.

To follow your plan, you must believe in it whole heartedly. You must believe that even if you are not ready at this very moment, by following that path, you will become as ready as you will ever be. It is not you that makes the path, but rather the path that makes you. You have made a commitment because you believed in your self. Now you have to do your best to stick to it.

8. Start Right Now!

This is Napolean Hill’s final step in his book. He points out that, whether you are ready or not, you must start on this plan right now. It reminds me of starting out in Jiu Jitsu. They don’t show you moves, and make sure you know what to do before you start. Instead, they simply throw you right into the fire. To become good at Jiu Jitsu, you must first learn what NOT to do, before you learn what to do. The same goes for your plan. Jump right into the fire, and trust in your ability to adapt. Humans are nature’s greatest example of adaptation, so don’t tell me you don’t adapt well. Tell me you choose not to let yourself adapt well, because you are afraid you might not succeed. That is the truth, and from here on out, as you set out to start on this plan, the truth is all you have left.

9. Be honest with yourself.

Making a commitment to reach a goal is quite scary. It may sound ridiculous to others. It may invoke some teasing from friends and family. People think I am a moron when I tell them I am going to make $200 million in the next three years. However, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I don’t expect them to believe me. If someone told me that, I would not believe them either.

The truth is, you are not telling these people when you speak to them. You are telling yourself. You are being honest with yourself and your intentions. This is an important part of self confidence. Be firm in what you want. Don’t let anyone tell you different. It is your life, and the only thing you can do, is be honest with yourself about how you want to live it.

10. Money is not important.

This may seem ironic. If money is not important, than why the hell did we waste our time on the first 9 steps? The answer is that money is one part of living a stress free life. The feeling of reaching the goal you set out to reach is the true treasure of this journey. Imagine the possibilities that will open if you firmly believed you can achieve anything if you actually committed your mind to it. Think about the smug feeling of confidence you would have the next time somebody laughs at your lofty goals.

This is the feeling you need to have right now. This is the feeling of confidence you need to make your plan a reality. It’s not about the money, even though there will be plenty. It’s about harnessing the power of your mind, and realizing that with the gifts you have right now, anything, anything at all, is possible. It’s just a matter of committing yourself to it. Are you ready?

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How To Learn to Let Go and Love it

Peter James — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:32:31 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Are you a control freak? I think we all are at times, some more than others. Over the course of the last few years, as my business has slowly grown, I have learned that a big key to success is learning to let go and not freak the hell out about it. If you find yourself freaking out at the thought of letting someone else do work for your business without you looking over their shoulder, then this post is definitely for you.

For those of you who don’t know, I am partners in the media production company Pixel Mobb. Being that we are content creators, as well as web and video guys, it would seem logical for us to design our own website and marketing materials. However, when you are building a business, paying the bills comes first. So creating content for clients has taken priority over our creating content for us.

Not only that, but we also have had quite a hard time branding ourselves, though apparently that is normal. My partner recently read about a famous logo designer that took 12 years to design his own logo. I guess it can be hard when you have to do it for yourself, and not a client. A client gives direction, feedback, and provides work that has no previous emotional attachment. When it’s time for you to give direction and feedback on your own company, many things can cloud the focus you need to have.

That’s why you need to learn about letting go.

Entrepreneurs are hungry, motivated, do-it-yourself type of people. They don’t let obstacles stand in the way of their goals. They do what they have to to get things done. These are excellent traits, and necessary in order to achieve success. However, the one thing entrepreneurs have a tough time with, is letting go of the steering wheel for their business.

For example, I have had many clients who hired us to do a site with this exact problem. They loved our ideas, our portfolio, and our personality. We sign the contract, work out the details, and get to building the site. When they look at the design comps however, they want to make changes. They want to move things around for no particular reason other then that’s where they think it should go. They want to resize things, and use elements in the site they think are cool, or that a friend of a friend gave them.

Now, you may be reading this saying that is their right as a client. Truth be told, you are right. In the end, we will do what the client wants. However, time and time again, that client’s site does not succeed the way they envisioned. Sure, they get what they wanted, but they don’t get the important part: our company’s experience. Each decision we make is based on the tons of experience we have. The funny thing is, our experience is the only reason a client even hires us anyway.

The reason they hired us was because they liked what we have done as professionals. After they hired us, though, these particular clients acted as if they were the professionals. They hired us to do a job, and now they are telling us what to do.

Picture this with another occupation, such as a house builder. Imagine telling the builder what materials to use, where to put the nails, and the order to build the house in. The builder would tell you you’re crazy, and not take the job.

Now, while I complain about my clients like this, as a business owner, I have also been THOSE clients. I have caught myself telling ideas to people with much more experience than me, then thinking to myself, what the hell am I doing? I hired these professionals, let me do what they say. That is when the relief washes over me. It’s not my responsibility. Give them a chance and see if they do well. If not, you will find out that you have not hired the right person, which is my responsibility. Hiring a robot is not good for any business, as what’s the point of hiring a company you have to take time to manage?

There is none, except to ease your fears that it won’t turn out the way you want. However, you need to move past that, and trust in your ability to hire the right people for the job.

This is called letting go.

It can be the single toughest thing for you to possibly do with your business. At the end of the day, most business owners are control freaks in one way or another. In order to learn to let go, and keep your wits about you, I have come up with the following list.

5 Reasons To Let Go & Not Freak the Hell Out

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1. Know your role.

You have hired a person to do a job. There is a reason for that. Either you can not do it yourself, you lack the experience, of you simply lack the time. Whatever the reason, you have hired this person to take their time to complete your objective. If you don’t have the time, experience, or knowledge to do it yourself, then you don’t have the time, experience, or knowledge to tell someone how to do it either. Make sense?

2. Your input has it’s limitations.

Many entrepreneurs are great idea people. It comes with the territory. However, you must know the limitations of your input. It is very cool to give ideas, concepts, examples, and goals to the people you have hired to do a job. It is very important to also understand that these are just ideas. Your ideas are the starting point, not the ending point. You have hired this person to take you from start to finish. Give them the starting point, and then let them lead you to the finish.

3. Encourage, don’t direct

The goal when you hire someone is to get them to do the best job possible. Sometimes, to understand their job, I will put myself in the person’s shoes who I have hired.

How would I react to the direction I am giving?
If this was me, what would make me do the best possible job?

I try to answer these questions before I give my direction. A good baseball coach doesn’t tell the pitcher what to throw. Instead he uses motivation to get the pitcher confident enough to have faith in whatever pitch he chooses to throw. The same should go for you.

4. Firm vs. Flexible

I’m sure you all want to know, what happens if you let go, and the person screws it up royally? Well, that is a legitimate fear for concern. In order to avoid this, it is important to understand where to be firm and where to be flexible. The place to put your foot down is in your goals for the project. If I am building you a website, I need to understand what your goal is for the site. It is very important that a client stay firm in what they want to accomplish. This is important, because it is a major part of the starting point.

Where you need to be flexible is in the approach to reach the goal. Let the professional guide you into the right approach. Ask them why this approach is best to meet your goals. Question them on the process, and how that is going to help you reach your goal. However, don’t direct them on how to achieve the goal you want. That is why you hired them. Your job is to provide them what they need to do their job, not on how to do it.

5. Freaking out is a waste of precious time.

You heard it here first. Well, probably not, but it is true. Freaking out, worrying, or any of that emotional stuff is simply a waste of time. Better to spend your day controlling what you can, then worrying about all the things you can’t.

This is not to say anticipating problems is bad. It is quite beneficial to anticipate what could go wrong. However, all you can do is anticipate and prepare for it. Worrying and stressing over it just puts you in a weaker mind state which makes getting imperative work done twice as hard. Be confident in your preparation, and learn to let go.

You may be quite amazed the amount of clarity you have when you learn to let go. It is a scary, but great feeling. Remember, if someone does not do a good job, it’s not because you weren’t telling them how to do it. It’s cause you hired the wrong person for the job. Concentrate on finding the right people, testing them out, and if they are good, you will not have to worry again. That is where you can become more successful as an entrepreneur.

That is why letting go is so important. Don’t think of it as letting go of control. Think of it as letting go of useless fear, worry, and stress, cause in reality, that’s what it really is. The only place these fears, worry, and stress exist is in your head. If it is not in your head, then truth be told, it doesn’t even exist. Imagine that.

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Is Worrying Stopping You From Success?

Peter James — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:28:31 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

The last few weeks have been a bit tough for me. Although it has been quite exciting building my business, and seeing projects coming to fruition, the problem has been in making enough steady money to live comfortably. The future actually looks bright. It’s just, in the present, it’s still raining. I’m sure every entrepreneur knows the feeling. The money you make goes right back into the business as you keep on molding it to perfection, time and time again.

Yesterday, it just seemed like from the minute I got up, to the minute I went to sleep, the bad news just kept on rolling in. To sum it up briefly, there were credit card problems, client issues, a sick family cat that is not looking good, and my wife quit her job. You could say it was quite a whirlwind day.

In the middle of this nightmare, I went to my partner’s house to work on further branding our business, and finally put up our own website instead of everyone else’s. While he was going through the process, my head was spinning with all sorts of nonsense. I had too many things to worry about. The pressure felt overwhelming. What was I going to do?

“PETE!”

….my partner yelled. He could tell I was on another planet. I fessed up and tried selling him on my problems, but he wouldn’t bite. Then he said something that took a little while to sink in, but eventually eased my mind. It was one of those things that is so obvious you almost don’t pay attention to the legitimacy of it.

He said, ‘What is worrying going to do about it?’

That had always been my motto on life. When I was sick, I did not worry about getting better. I just focused on getting through each day. The same goes for now. Things are rough out there, and starting a business in these times is very challenging. It is even more challenging when you need to sustain a certain level of living that your family is used to.

However, worrying about things is only wasting time.

In fact, I’ll take it further and say that worrying is actually a cop out to dealing with the problem. Instead of taking proactive steps to sturdy my situation, and fight through the rough spots, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was worrying about what I was going to do instead of actually doing something.

It’s like a fighter standing in the ring worried about getting knocked out. If you are thinking about it, chances are, it will happen. You don’t worry about getting hit when you fight. You expect it. You just focus on your game and trying to set the pace no matter what they throw at you.

If you are worried, you are not focused, and that means you will most likely fail.

I think this is a common trap many entrepreneurs fall into while trying to get their business off the ground. We get tied down with deciding each day whether or not we are going to make it. We worry about the outcome instead of dealing with the now. In the end, though, the ‘now’ is all we can control. We may be able to come up with all sorts of possible outcomes in our head, but none of them matter. The only thing that matters is what you do TODAY.

We must learn to stop worrying about whether or not it’s going to work out. As my partner said, have faith in yourself. It is going to work. It’s just a matter of taking care of the now. After this pep talk, we got down to branding Reimagine, and it went rather well. Instead of wasting time worrying about my situation, we spent it on making my situation easier for the future. I just have to remember that it all happens just one step at a time. Nobody leaps the staircase to success in a single bound. Not even Superman.

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Ever Dreamed of Doing Something Remarkable With Your Life?

Peter James — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:33:30 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

WARNING: The following article will obliterate any and all excuses you have created for why you can not be successful. If you wish to continue to effectively believe these excuses, please skip today’s post.

When I was a kid, I used to be sure that I was going to be rich. When I was in film school, I was sure I was going to be the next big movie director. And today, for the first time in a long time, I am sure of those things again. It’s just a matter of time.

I realized this the other day, before Jiu Jitsu class, while reading the back of a t-shirt. As stupid as that sounds, it is actually true. I’m sitting there stretching between classes and I see this printed on the back of my boy’s t-shirt

“What would you do if I told you, you could not fail”

I started thinking about YinvsYang immediately, and figured I’d write a post about the concept. However, I thought the quote could go even further. I started thinking about it, and suddenly, I realized something I could not believe. How did I not think of this before? My eyes popped open with excitement, like a kid who finally figures out the way to beat a tough video game. What I realized was…

Failure does not exist.

Take a minute to let this settle in for a second.

Failure does not really exist.

Think about it. What exactly is failure?

In the literal sense, ‘failure’ is a word. In the Oxford American dictionary, a ‘word’ is a single distinct conceptual unit of language, compromising inflected and various forms. Words are created by humans to have a meaning. Oxford American dictionary defines ‘failure’ in 2 ways.

1. A lack of success.

An unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing

lack of success in passing a test

A grade that is not high enough to pass a test.

2. The action or state of not functioning.

A sudden cessation of power

The collapse of a business

Upon closer study, you see that ‘failure’ is only specific to a moment in time.

Being unsuccessful means you have not reached success yet. That is time specific. It only takes having success once to realize your time ‘being unsuccessful’ was actually just the bumpy ‘road to success’.
Failing a man made test happens at a specific time. Many students have failed a test, and then passed the class.
A sudden cessation of power has different details behind it every time.
Businesses only collapse once, unless they are rebuilt and collapse again. Either way, it’s unique to a moment in time.

The point is you can fail in the short term hundreds of times, but that does not make you a failure in the long run. Failure is a word that is based on other’s perception. An unsuccessful person, and a grade that is not passing, are both defined by man. Man creates the test, and Man creates a definition of failing that test.

Unless you let a time that you fail be your last moment chasing that goal, how can you possibly be a failure? The answer is, you can’t. If you continue chasing your dreams, it is impossible to be considered a failure. You are just going down your path to success, and these are the bumps in the road you are facing. Each one you navigate over builds character, confidence, and wisdom. Just look at some these ‘failures’ we know about in life….

Was Michael Jordan a failure when he got cut from his high school basketball team?
Was Donald Trump a failure when his business went bankrupt?
Was Abraham Lincoln a failure when the country broke out into Civil War?

The answer to all of these is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. If they would have gave up at those moments, then yes, they would have cemented failure for them self. However, they did not give up, and history shows that these men have been anything but failures.

‘Failure’ is not a term to define our life as a whole. It is used to define the sum of events up until right now. For example, if I fail my driving test, then right now, I am a failure. However, once I pass it, that is no longer the case. It just took me two times to succeed.

‘Failure’ is also a manmade term. Animals don’t understand failure. They are simply survivors. Whatever they fail at, they try again and again till they figure it out, or they move on and forget about it.

Failure does not exist, except in our own minds.

The mind is powerful, and can show you all sorts of potential devastating outcomes. However, the mind is a muscle. It needs to be developed and taught the right answers. The mind’s best teacher is experience. To get experience, you must fail over and over. These ‘failures’ are all just moments in time. Once you reach your goal, the ‘failures’ wind up becoming the obstacles you overcame. The bigger the failure, the bigger the obstacle, and subsequently, the better the story.

The fear of failure, is the fear of your own mind.

Anything we want to accomplish can be done, if we just realize the road to success is going to be bumpy on the way there. Many people try to travel the road to success, but as soon as the terrain gets rough, they turn and run back. Successful people keep going. They know the road to success is never easy, therefore they never expect it to be. In fact, they know the more difficult the terrain, the greater the success will be. It’s all relative.

Once you realize this, than the truth becomes obvious. We really can do anything we want to as long as we put our mind to it. Putting our mind to it means we are willing to deal with the terrain of the road we choose to travel.

Becoming successful is really all about answering the following questions, which you can do in the comments below.

What do you dream of doing?
Are you truly willing to deal with ALL the bumps in the road it takes to get there, even if you don’t know what those bumps are?

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6 Keys to Becoming Successful Beyond Your Wildest Dreams

Peter James — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:29:14 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Hey, you want to be successful? You looking to take it to the next level? You ever wonder what is it really going to take to achieve your wildest dreams? Me too. Over the course of the road I have traveled, I have come up with six things every single person must know if they ever dare to dream of success…

1. Shit ain’t easy.

I don’t care what it is, being successful is never, ever, ever, going to be easy. It is going to be a grind regardless. Just think about it, if it were that easy, everyone would be doing it. It takes physical and emotional strength. It takes faith. It takes nerve. Put it this way. Right now, think to yourself how hard you estimate it’s going to be to become a success in whatever you choose. Think about the long road. Okay, now however hard you just thought it was going to be, I would times it by 100. That might even be a little optimistic. The bottom line is, whatever you want to do, it takes a lot of sweat and tears. If you know that going in, it makes the bumps in the road that much easier to travel.

2. Don’t just do things, do things right.

We all love the short cuts. I am the king of short cuts. However, I learned time and time again, especially in Jiu jitsu, that you have to do things the right way. You may be able to get over everybody on a daily basis, but you are only fooling yourself. Take the time to do things right. Don’t rush them, or just do things to get them done. Take the time to learn everything you can. Do the research to feel confident in your decisions. You can’t win every battle, but you sure as hell can increase the odds each time.

3. Even when no one else does, believe in yourself.

Risk is an essential part of becoming successful. A lot of people will warn you of the risks, mostly because they wouldn’t dare to take them themselves. Want to know what I think of this kind of advice? Next time your stomach is not feeling well, turn around after you finish using the toilet. That stuff floating there is just as valuable. I mean actually, it might be worth more. Business is business. No one knows what it’s like in your position except for you. No one has your passion. Don’t let the crowd steer your ship. That’s the captain’s Job, and passion is his steering wheel.

4. Out work your competition

Picture your job field like a huge MMA tournament. Everyone is training hard, but some are pushing the limits. Some are so dedicated to their own success, it consumes them. They become a machine, working every day toward their goal without thought. When it comes time to get in the cage, they look like silent predators stalking through the night, emotionless, till the cage door closes and it’s time to attack. Their belief in their preparation is what carries them through the arduous fight. Apply this same story to your job field. Are you a machine? Are you prepared for the grueling grind to be successful? You better be.

5. Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.

An oldie, but a goodie. You don’t need to be religious to live by this creed. I have found that Karma is real. It is everywhere. When you do something negative, you send out a negative vibe, which always reverberates back to you in some way. The same goes for when you do something positive as well. Don’t worry about what other people do to you. Just do what you do. If your mind is right, they don’t have a chance anyway. You can overcome everything on the road to success. As I was always told by my family, it just takes patience, persistence, and perseverance to overcome any obstacle life throws your way.

6. Reap the Rewards and Pass them Around

You work your ass off. The first five steps involve taking people’s crap, working when other’s sleep, taking risks most wouldn’t dare, and making sacrifices most couldn’t bare. When you travel this kind of road, you better enjoy all of the success you get. Reward yourself for pushing the limits. Reward those who have helped you push those limits. Give away parts of your rewards to those that deserve them. Remember, whatever good vibes you spread around always reverberate back to you, so spread them while you can. Nothing breeds success, like success…or so I have heard

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Secrets of Success Straight from the Shelter

Peter James — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 12:08:44 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

The secret of success is actually quite simple if you think about it. Success is just about those people who keep on going when everybody else would have stopped.

For those of you that read Yin vs Yang regularly, you have definitely heard me mention Fallout Shelter before. I have chronicled their story a few times to show how persistence, patience, and perseverance can take you anywhere you want to go.

Recently, they have achieved a small success and their future is looking brighter then a new pair of 20 inch rims. URB Magazine has a big contest every year, and Haylo’s song ‘Don’t Let Her Go’ was one of the songs personally selected to enter the contest. Since then things have taken off. Fallout Shelter has been selling clothing, meeting new fans, and even was contacted by a big time Artist looking for beats. It’s a small step, but quite a motivating taste of the possibilities that lie ahead.

This just goes to show, that once again, no matter what anyone says, or how road the rough may seem, one day, if you keep on pushing, all the sweat and tears will seem worth it. In fact, you will treasure them forever. It’s tough times like these where we are reminded the value of everyday things we take for granted. It’s tough times like these that make moments like being selected for a major contest so exciting.

Success is an ongoing battle we all take part in daily. Most times we fail, but sometimes we triumph. It’s those of us reaching for the stars that benefit the most from these small moments of triumph, for they can carry us through the rest of our life.

So here is a Yin vs Yang tribute to Fallout Shelter for continuing to attack their dream with relentless passion. If you are interested, you can help them out by voting here.

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5 Steps to a Successful State of Mind

Peter James — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:10:35 +0000

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Wednesday is Personal Development in Business, and this week, to make up for Monday, I included some Jiu jitsu as well.…

The last few months or so have been pressure packed for me. As you can tell by my various posting schedule, my time has been short. I have a budding business I am helping mold, major projects being released, and a growing list of clients to deal with. On top of that, money has been tight because I have been putting it all right back into the business, or working for pennies to build my portfolio. All in all, you could say it has been a tough, but very productive, first quarter of the year.

Considering the economy, I’m sure many of you have been dealing with similar problems in your business or job. Your mind is tied up with all sorts of issues while you try to hack out the best possible path in your life. You have bills, deadlines, worries, expenses, and not nearly enough time in the day to take care of them all. Your mind is clouded with these thoughts, and you want nothing more than for them to disappear.

If you are like me, then you toss concern to the side and just keep on pushing, knowing that at some point, the night will eventually fade into the spectacular splendor of dawn. At least that’s the hope However, the other day in Jiu Jitsu, I noticed how much of an effect these thoughts have on our daily state of mind.

Performing at your Peak

When times are tough, it is more important than ever to have a clear mind, and attack problems with confidence and optimism. However, when times are tough, confidence and optimism can be hard to come by.

When training in Jiu Jitsu, if I have a clouded mind, I am completely off my game. I don’t have the same drive, or energy level needed to do my best. My mind is constantly wandering, and nothing seems too important until I’m put in a really bad position and forced to fight my way out. It’s as if I don’t even care until it’s almost too late.

I have found the same goes for life as well. When our minds our clouded, we tend to not want to deal with anything. There is too much on our plate already, and anymore will break the entire dish. Therefore, we tend to lose focus, trying to just to keep up as best we can. It seems each time we solve a problem, another has already built up enough to cover the part of the plate we just cleared. The cycle goes on and on, like a bad dream you can’t wake up from.

Clearing Your Mind

I realized this the other day, how can I possibly become successful if my day is spent focused on the negatives? How can I be optimistic in my approach to success, if all I deal with is one negative after the next?

The answer is you can’t. Remember, success is a state of mind. You do not get this state of mind after you are successful. That is called getting lucky. You develop this state of mind first, and that leads you to your success. Developing that state of mind is the first step to becoming successful beyond your wildest dreams.

Developing this state of mind is not something we are going to accomplish by the end of this article. No, that is something we have to continue to work on each and every day. However, by the end of this post, you will have a great base to build off of.

Developing the Successful State of Mind

Times are rough. There seems to be more problems than solutions in the current world.

For a person feeling down about their situation, this is a negative statement. They think like the majority: ‘there are too many problems to deal with, so we just do our best to get through it.’

For a successful entrepreneur, they see that statement as a gold mine of opportunity. A successful entrepreneur realizes that if there are more problems than solutions, then there must be a lot of opportunities to make money off of solutions.

This is an example of the state of mind you need to have to be successful. It is an optimistic state of mind, bordering on lunacy. Whether times are bad, or times are good, you know opportunity is everywhere. Each problem that comes your way is just another step on the old ladder. Success is all about how you perceive the environment around you. With this in mind, I have come up with…

5 Steps to a Successful State of Mind

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1. Take control

Today is today. Yesterday was yesterday. Tomorrow is not here yet. The first thing to do to clear your mind is to let go of all the nonsense out of your control. Let go of the past. Let go of all the possible future outcomes. Let go of anything you can not control right now. If it is not in your control at the present, then you can not concern yourself with it. You can only take care of the now.

2. One problem at a time

Too many times, as the problems start to pile up, people get overwhelmed with taking care of all of them at once. The bottom line is that to correctly solve a problem, you must focus on only one at a time. Write down your problems somewhere, prioritize them, and check off that list as you attack each one. Don’t worry about how long it takes. Just solve one, and move on to the next.

3. Nothing is as serious as it seems.

When I was 18, I was deathly sick with Crohn’s disease. Out of the blue, in the middle of college, I lost over 60 pounds in a few months. They were not sure if I would ever be the same. Surgery was my only option. The reason I write this is because your health, and your loved one’s health, is all that really matters. Everything else may seem like a big deal, until you compare it with the value of good health. So when facing financial, business, or personal problems, remember, it could always be worse. Those problems are easy compared with some of the health issues others are forced to handle.

4. Enjoy the Challenge

Problems are fun, right? Maybe not while you are facing them, but afterwards, we always like to reminisce how we overcame the obstacles we face in life. It gives us character, and a sense of pride. Try to remember that while you are dealing with the problem. Look forward to be able to one day talk about how ‘it was really no big deal’. I will even go so far as to advise you to pretend in your mind that you already solved the problem, and see what it feels like. Get a glimpse of that feeling of success, and then hold on to it for motivation during the hard times.

5. Believe in Yourself

If you don’t believe you can be successful, then stop reading, shut down your browser, and start thinking about changing careers. Your belief in your own success does not get tested when times are good. No, belief in your own success gets tested when times are rough. A true success thinks like the aviator Howard Hughes. Even when the whole world is laughing at your feeble attempts to reach your seemingly impossible goals, you know that just makes it all the more glorious when you come through. It is this belief that carries you through the darkest times of your journey.

6. Take responsibility

Each problem you face is a test of your resolve. It is up to you and you alone to make sure a solution is found. It is not up to your friends, families, co-workers, or relatives. It is not up to fate. Life is what you make it, and if you give up trying to make it, then nothing and no one can help you out. You must fight hard to stay focused and take responsibility.It will by no means be an easy task, but you can overcome anything you put your mind to. I can not tell you how long it will take, but any problem can be solved over time. Just look at what one of the smartest people in our history said…

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer .”
–Albert Einstein

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