“Into this house we’re born
Into this world we’re thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out alone
Riders on the storm”
–From Riders On The Storm Lyrics, by the Doors

Opening a door is a great way of describing what it means to create an opportunity in life. In business, they say it is not what you know, but who you know. Well, I say it is a little of both.

One of my favorite bands growing up was the Doors. Now, I was born in 1979, so I was no hippie child crowd surfing at the Whiskey Bar.  However, I became enamored with Jim Morrison after studying him for a biography. I was amazed at the incredibly intelligent individual he was, as I always thought of him as just a wild, drugged-out hippie.

One of the things I learned from Jim (as if we are friends ), is that a crucial key to life is opening doors, hence the name of the band (source)…

“The band took their name from the title of a book by Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception (1954). That title was in turn taken from a line in a poem by the 18th-century artist and poet William Blake:

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite”.^[3]

What does this mean? Well, as with all poetry, it is open to personal interpretation. However, what I got out of it is, if we work at it hard enough, we can continually expand our perception till we are eventually all knowing.

Now, I did not take any LSD before writing this post, so when I speak about expanding your perception, please understand I do not mean to go out and do illicit drugs. (Yinvsyang said I should expand my mind officer )  I simply mean that you should open up your mind to all the possibilities right before your eyes.

“I’ll tell you this:
No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn”
–From The Wasp (Texas Radio And The Big Beat) Lyrics, by the Doors

This is your time to live out your dreams. This is the time to go out and do everything you ever wanted to. Not tomorrow, not next year. Right now.

So why do most people wait to achieve their dreams?

I believe it is fear. It is very scary to risk failure. If you ever have played Texas Hold’em before, and went all in, then you have a small idea of what I mean. It is tough to put everything you have on the line just for the chance of winning it all. However, it is something that we all must do if we want to have a chance to win, even in life.

The best way to do it in real life, is by continuing to open doors for yourself. Doors represent opportunities, or a pathway to something new. Once a door is opened, it is always possible to open again. The best way to open doors is to meet other people, whether you’d like to or not.

“People are strange when you’re a stranger
Faces look ugly when you’re alone
Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted
Streets are uneven when you’re down“
–From People Are Strange Lyrics, by the Doors

For instance, this morning, at about 6 am, I went to teach a boxing class at the local LA Boxing. Usually we have 4 or 5 people, but by start time, no one was there. At 6:05, I thought I had a free day when a car pulled up. I gritted my teeth, mad that one person actually came to the gym and ruined my joy.

However, instead of saying class was canceled, or making an excuse, I greeted him and went to work training him personally. Well, it turns out this guy works for Warner Brother’s pictures. He is nobody incredibly special, but he has worked there for 30 years.  He also has a host of local film connections that he is hooking me up with, and he is a great person to know when I am ready to submit a script.

And I was wishing he did not come.

By taking the time to treat this person right, I opened another door of opportunity for myself. Too many times in life, at least for me, we seal doors shut before they even had a chance to open. We do not wonder what could be behind them, or think of them as an opportunity. Instead, we perceive them like I perceived this guy this morning…..’what a pain in the ass!’

However, by recognizing everything for what it is, hence expanding our perception, we have a greater chance to be incredibly successful. No matter who the person is, just by knowing them and having a relationship, you have opened a door. It may lead to nothing, but is still an open door just in case. By making this a habit, you will eventually find what you are looking for behind one of the doors.

“Let’s swim to the moon
Let’s climb through the tide
You reach your hand to hold me
But I can’t be your guide“
–From Moonlight Drive Lyrics, by the Doors

Now that you hopefully understand the idea of opening doors, here are 5 Tips to help you create more opportunities for yourself each & every day.

1. Meet a new person every day

Whether in person, or through the internet, networking is key to getting where you want in life. Don’t be afraid to speak to someone or to contact them. Think of it simply as opening a door, regardless of the response. It is the simple fact that you took action that matters. You never know what may come of it.

2. Return ALL Calls & Emails

Too many times, I have returned an email or call that I did not feel like, and it worked out for the best. I have learned that getting back to people is just as important as meeting them. It is not just a matter of opening a door. Once you see what you like behind it, it is important to capitalize on the work you did to open the door through consistent communication.

3. Build Your Social Network

This is the great thing about blogging. Building up your social network is directly related to your success today. Meeting, continuing to meet, and staying in touch with people can be an all day task. By taking advantage of the new online technologies such as twitter, facebook, and other social networking sites, you can keep in touch with thousands of people and still keep sane.

4. Say Hello, even when you don’t want to.

Ever get one of those phone calls you don’t want to answer? Or better yet, ever run into someone you do not want to speak to at a local store? It is these moments that will define you. Say hello. Answer the phone. Think of it as opening another door. It may be a short pain in the ass, but just like the annoyance of finding a coin for a scratch-off ticket, it may all be worth it in the end.

5. Make these 4 steps a habit.

Consistency is key. Just taking a day or two to do this will show no results. It is important to make this a habit. Make it part of your routine. Only through consistently taking this approach will you begin to see the benefits. Trust me, I know .

“Strange days have found us
And through their strange hours
We linger alone
Bodies confused
Memories misused
As we run from the day
To a strange night of stone“
–From Strange Days Lyrics, by the Doors

How do you create more opportunities for yourself in life? Have you ever found an opportunity through a ‘pain in the ass’ experience? Help contribute and open more doors right now by commenting with some feedback

If the title enticed you to read this, than you are exactly the type of person this was written for.

Like me, you probably can not resist a respectable challenge, no matter how trivial it may be. Even if it’s only a simple game of Checkers, finishing in any place other than first is an agony that won’t let you sleep for days. You may have even been called a sore loser in the past because of your obvious disgust with defeat.

Competition is an addiction…..your drug of choice so to speak.

I know, because I am the same way.

A competitive nature is a great trait to have, but if you want to be successful, you better be able to deal with losing. This was the hardest challenge for me growing up. However, once I came to terms with losing, I was able to achieve things that once seemed impossible.

It just took quite a long time to sink into my thick head. Hopefully this post will speed things up for you.

As a young child, I would blame my luck if I lost. As I got a little older, I started blaming fate instead, as if certain challenges I failed at were because of genetics, intelligence, athletic ability, connections, or whatever excuse seemed most rational. If I did not make the All-Star baseball team, it was because my Father was not the coach. If I did not get good grades in school, it was because the teacher sucked. Whatever excuse fit the bill was fine for my ego.

Then, as I became a young man, I realized that maybe I was the one to blame. This was a step in the right direction, but I did not know how to change.

It seemed I wanted to win real bad, but only if it came easy.

In hindsight I can see this was a recurring theme in my life until, at about 24, I started to take Jiu Jitsu and it changed my perspective completely.

In Jiu Jitsu, if you want to win, you better put in the work.

The only way to get better in Jiu Jitsu is what we call ‘Mat time‘.  Simply put, this means how much time you have spent on the Mat. In another words, it is your experience level.

If you train once a week, and someone else trains twice a week, then the latter will most likely progress twice as fast in the same amount of time. This is because they have spent double the time on the mat, gaining double the experience.

Jiu Jitsu teaches you, after a lot of frustration, that losing is a big part of being a winner. As a matter of fact, losing is the best way to get better because it allows you to see concrete examples of what you must do to get to the next level. Think of it like this….

If you never lose, how are you ever going to get better?

For example, a fighter does not want to train with people they can beat up easily. A fighter needs to be challenged if they want to get better. They need to be put in uncomfortable situations. They need to be pushed to their limit. They need to get their ass handed to them during training so that the fight feels like a piece of cake.

The same goes for any challenge, be it business, life, checkers, or a sport. It is all the same. The more quality time and effort you put into the preparation, the better your results will be. This is what I failed to understand as a young man.

Nowadays, I chuckle when I am on the mat and a newer white belt tries to beat me with all their effort. They think that if they ‘try harder’ they may succeed. I see it in their eyes when they try to pull some crazy concocted move they learned off of Youtube, in the hopes of catching me off guard. It as if they think by getting lucky and catching me once, it will make them better. The truth is, it won’t do anything but satisfy their ego for a minute.

What they will come to realize over the years of ‘mat time’, is it is not about their effort on one particular day. It is about the culmination of their consistent effort over a long period of time.

I know, because I had to learn the same lesson.  I used to judge myself on my daily effort, till I realized, a few good days don’t add up to a consistent bunch of regular ones.

Jiu Jitsu, allowed me to see real life examples of this. Many people I started with, who were more talented and athletic than I ever was, never even came close to reaching my level because I put in more ‘mat time’ over the years. I was not more gifted, blessed with better genetics, or anything of the sort. I was simply more persistent.

Jiu Jitsu showed me the preparation and effort it takes to be a winner, and it has permeated through the rest of my life. I look forward to challenges now because I know working past these obstacles is the way to reach my goals. It is because of this experience, that I no longer carry the reputation of a sore loser. I have learned to respect winning. If someone beats me at something, then I know there is a reason for it. They were more prepared.

I never think of myself as a loser. Losing just means I am gaining experience.

What does losing mean for you?

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

“There’s a war going on outside no man is safe from. You can run but you can’t hide forever.” -Mobb Deep

Nothing like a little hip hop to get the morning started. Today I am pumped up. Not sure why, but I hope to get all of you hyped as well so LOOK OUT!

Yin vs Yang is all about the inner battles we each have. Today, I wanted to touch on another type of inner battle every animal has experienced: Fight or flight.

This has been a natural battle for humanity since the dawn of time. However, in today’s world the fight or flight battle is a little less blunt, or so it seems. Back in the day, cavemen either fought or fled for their lives. It was a simple concept. Either choose to stand your ground, or you better run for your life. You want something, you have to take it. If a caveman was not willing to take it, then they could not have it. Life was simple.

Today, though, life is much more complicated. You can’t just go out there and take what you want. This is a civilized world now in which people try to respect each other. There is no need for arguments, fights, or anything of the sort in order to make it through life today. Life is a lot more complicated than fight or flight these days.  Right?

HELL mother-f-ing NO!!!!

That’s just what everyone wants you to believe. And if you do, I will say this as clear as I can: You are a sucker.  A SUCKER!!!

Successful people, or at least all the ones I have met or studied, went after exactly what they wanted. They did not beat around the bush. They set something in their sights and did not stop till it was theirs. They did not back down from any challenges. They did not think about what other people were doing or saying. They simply stuck to their instinct and went ALL OUT with it.

In order to be successful, you must be willing to go all out. Do not think success is going to come without a fight.  Now, when I say fight, I don’t mean a little scrap behind the woods after school either. I mean you need to be prepared to fight for your life like cavemen used to against Sabertooth Tigers.

You need to understand that’s the type of battle you are in right now if you want to succeed. You need to prepare every time as if you’re facing the best pound for pound fighter in the world.

Millions of people.  Maybe even billions, are doing everything in their power RIGHT NOW to be more successful than you.  Whatever business you are in, however it is you earn your paycheck, there is someone out there who would gladly take your place. In this life, it is all about fighting for your position. If you don’t fight for what you want, you will only get what’s given to you.

I train MMA and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I get to see up close what makes an MMA fighter successful and what does not. The funny thing is, it takes exactly the same traits to be successful in the cage as it does life. I mean, it is down right identical. Think like the prosecutor in the movie My Cousin Vinny, ‘I-(clap)-Dentical’. No matter what business you are in, if you want to be successful, then you must think like a cage fighter.

Cage fighters are successful for these reasons:

Preparation

How prepared are you? A successful cage fighter goes to every extreme to make sure they are prepared. If possible, they will study their opponents on YouTube or ask around for friends who may have trained with them. They will bring in other fighters similar to their opponents to become even more prepared. By the time they are ready to fight, there is not one ounce of preparation they have not done. Being a great fighter is about finding the perfect balance between your physical body and your mind. This is all accomplished during preparation.

Endurance

MMA fans love the knockout, probably because of its excitement and relative rarity. However, even though a knockout is the goal, every fighter prepares to go the full distance. This is because, when you reach the big leagues, counting on a knockout is horseshit. A fighter must train till their endurance is at such a peak level, the fight is just a joke. That is why, many fighters look so ready on fight night. They have trained to fight an hour long war, even though the fight is usually only 15 minutes. Remember, training is the hard part. The fight is the party where you get to show off what you’ve accomplished.

Adaptability

Every great fighter comes in with a plan. They may try to avoid their opponent’s takedowns, push the pace, keep it standing, etc. No matter the plan, though, a fight is a fight. ANYTHING can happen. The littlest thing, such as a slip of the foot, or sweat in your eye, can cause the whole fight to change. Real fighters have a plan, but are also able to adapt on the fly. If things go haywire, they keep calm and cool, working through the tough spot as best they can. It’s what they have trained for. They stay focused and they adapt. They don’t live or die by what they planned. They just use it as a guide. They know adaptability is key to any victory.

Killer Instinct

This is probably the single trait that separates a good fighter from a great fighter. In the cage, when you get an opportunity to put the fight away, you must have that killer instinct. I have seen many fighters take it too easy when their opponent is about to go. They feel comfortable because they are winning.  They don’t see how that will change. That is until the opponent hits them across the chin with a lucky counter punch. All of a sudden, what once seemed like an easy victory, now becomes the fight of their life. If a great fighter sees an opportunity to finish, they move in like sharks that smell blood, and finish off their opponent for the win.

Talk is Cheap

The pre-fight hype stuff is always classic. Who does not like seeing two raging animals talking defiantly about why they are going destroy the other? I have seen all sorts of shenanigans before a fight. Fighters will force opponents to go lose an extra 1/4 pound at weigh-ins. Some fighters act as if they hate their opponents. Some try to put on crazy persona’s in order to mess with their foes.

However, the best fighters always have the same, calm, emotionless look. They simply look prepared. These fighters know all the showboating, tough talk, and antics will all disappear once that cage door shuts. Talk is cheap. The only thing that matters is results.

Mental Fortitude

The greatest thing about MMA is that there will probably never be an undefeated champion. Everyone loses at one time or another. There are too many variables in Mixed Martial Arts to have someone be perfect all the time. The same goes for life. Cage fighters will have to deal with a loss at one time or another. It never feels good to feel like they let down their family, coaches, and training partners. Imagine preparing for something will all your energy for months on end, and then getting knocked out by a lucky shot in the first round. Believe me, IT SUCKS!

Great cage fighters learn from their losses. They go back and try to strengthen their weaknesses. They let the loss motivate themselves to reach an even higher level of effectiveness.  They have the mental fortitude to know the best thing for them is to get right back in the cage. Win or lose, they can always fight again. After all, it’s always about the next fight anyway.

The Present is All That Matters

Great cage fighters do not worry about the past or future. They worry about the now. I have seen many fighters face an opponent that knocked them out previously. Some can handle it, and some attract the same result all over again. It all depends on the mind set. Real fighters know each fight is different, no matter what happened the last time. Each fight is on a different night, with different circumstances, at different arenas, and with different crowds. There is no two fights that are ever exactly the same.  All that matters is the fight you are in NOW. Not the one from last year. Not the one in two months. Real Cage fighters know the only opponent they face is the one standing in front of them.

We’re all Friends in the End

Cage fighters may try to kill each other during the fights, but in the end, there is nothing but respect. Every fighter respects anyone who is willing to go toe-to-toe with them. Whether they beat them, or they lost, their is always respect for the opponent. The reason is, every fighter has been on both sides of the stat column. Plus, without your opponent’s effort, there would be no victory. This is why it is always of the utmost importance to respect anyone you do battle with. It is the code of the warrior. No reason to hold a grudge. They were just trying to win like you.

Think Like a Cage Fighter on Your Way To Success

Now it’s up to you. You don’t have to wear 4 ounce gloves to think like a cage fighter. Remember, nothing in life is given to you. If you want something, then you must go out there and take it, just like the cavemen used to do.