Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

Everyone has heard a story, read a book, or seen a movie in which they wanted to be just like the main character.  Maybe not exactly like them, but there were those one or two qualities that you admired greatly.  For me, it was Rocky.  I think it was because most of the times, I felt like an underdog. Therefore, I wanted to be the underdog who overcomes every odd on his way to victory.

The reason I bring this up is because many of us are not comfortable with another kind of main character: ourselves.  Life is all about making decisions and sometimes we make the wrong choices.  Sometimes we make mistakes.  Sometimes we make really BIG mistakes.  However, so does everyone else.  It is called being human.

When I saw Rocky,  I wanted to be that underdog who wins it all.  Yet, as life goes, just because I was an underdog did not mean I would win.  So there were countless times, and I mean countless, where I just flat out failed.  It hurt too, because I wanted to win like Rocky did.  I wanted to have that success.  When I didn’t, I immediately would judge myself for not living up to my own expectations.  I would make excuses that I tried to believe.  I would wonder if I was good enough to be a winner.  I would be embarrassed about it.  I would think many negative thoughts, because I had tasted failure.

The first step toward success is usually a step down.

This is something life has taught me dearly.  I have learned that failure is a huge part of getting to where you are going.  Many times, I have judged myself too harshly because of my failures.  I let it affect my confidence.  I let it be a harbinger of negativity which made me feel inferior.  I thought maybe I was a loser, even though my pride would never let me show it.

Life is all about failing forward.  It is essential to human growth and is a basic part of nature.  We learn from our mistakes.  Therefore, try not to be so critical of yourself.  Try to understand that each failure is one step closer to your goal.  Many people fail to succeed because they never fully try.  They give a half-ass effort because they are afraid of giving it their all and dealing with the potential failure.

Say it with me:  Failing is how I learned to succeed.  Without failing I will never be able to progress.  I will stay stagnant, which is actually worse.

Since I have actually applied this to my thought process, I have started to see the fruits of my success.  Without worrying about failure, it does not exist.  Instead, there are only two things: success, or, a lesson.  Either way, I win!

The goal is not to be too hard on ourselves or to let what other people say influence our self perception.  Simply understand the way life works, and then just try and roll with the punches.  You failed at something.  Big f#@!’n deal.  It didn’t stop Rocky.  It’s not going to stop me.

Don’t let it stop you.

Instead of judging your progress with a pass & fail mentality, try something different.  Try to judge yourself on movement.  Movement means you are progressing.  Staying stagnant means you are failing.  Therefore, if you try something, and you fail, you are still moving.  It is only when you stop moving, and do not try at all, that you have actually failed.

Using this as a measuring stick for your progress is much more effective.   Because one day, you will take the same path as many times before, but instead of failing, you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams, and then forever wonder why you got so down on yourself for trying in the first place.