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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

It took only one human to invent electricity, one to discover the theory of relativity, one doctor to cure polio, and one man to lead the civil rights movement of the 60s. Albert Einstein had a problem, Jonas Salk had a mission, Martin Luther King had a dream, Thomas Edison had a goal, and hundreds like them had the same courage to live out their dreams no matter what that entailed.

Albert Einstein once said ‘It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.’

Martin Luther King had a dream that many were afraid to listen to, yet he told the world about it.

Jonas Salk tested the initial polio vaccine on his wife, daughter, and himself.

Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he revolutionized the world by inventing the incandescent light bulb.

All of these men were not afraid to be themselves, and trust in who they were, especially when times were rough. They knew the obstacles they faced caused everyone else to run in the opposite direction, however they stayed the course because they believed in themselves, no matter what that meant.

The question is, are you afraid to be yourself and live out your dreams?

This is not a challenging question, but rather one to be contemplated for a bit. You see, I can admit that I was very afraid to be myself for a long time. If you would have asked me then, I would have told you you were crazy, and probably tried to fight you (ooooh, to be young again).

Finding ourselves

Being who we are can be very difficult at times, especially when it conflicts with those around us. That is why there are so many mean people in the world. They are mean because they are afraid to be themselves, and some, rightfully so. Being themselves has caused others to mock, pick on, or worse, even physically hurt them. The world can be a tough place when you try to walk your own path. However, the end result is you wind up where no one else has before.

Being honest with ourself is another daily challenge we all face. Are we really listening to ourselves, or are we listening to our own excuses? It is the complexity of our mind that can make self honesty such a challenge. Yet, if we can truly be honest with ourselves, our life intelligence will grow at a rapid pace.

It took major surgery and a year of being stricken with a severe case of Crohn’s disease for me to see the importance of being myself. I was 18 years old, and faced with the prospect of never living a normal life again. After that experience, I started to chase what I love in life. There have been some bumps in the road since then, but somehow, I always wind up back on the same course toward my dreams. Sometimes a tragic experience can have an effect where suddenly, everything you thought was important means nothing now. In another words, your mind is cleared from all the bullshit we encounter in our lives, so it can see what really is important in our life.

Just Go Do It

Being yourself is not as easy as we might think. It takes hard, consistent work. Our brains are extremely adept at rationalization. So you may want to be that baseball player, but your brain will rationalize whether or not you can before you even try. You may think you are not big enough, or fast enough, or strong enough, or athletic enough, or even lucky enough. Whatever rationalization works best, your brain will find to avoid failure.

However, if we were never told such things, and wanted to be a ball player, we would simply just go out and do it.

What I have found is that being yourself is a challenge worth undertaking. It is like an individual revolution all inside your head. Suddenly, the straps are off, and you are free to roam the world fueled by your passion, without the chains of other’s judgement and/or opinion to hold you down. Every decision you make is actually decided internally, and not through three phone conversations and your Facebook friends list.

Standing Out is a Superpower

Being yourself is the only true way to stand out from the crowd, and conquer your dreams. You may think and feel like everyone else, but we are all unique in certain ways. It can be our passions, dreams, goals, or simply confidence that we can go where no one else has gone before, that separates us from the pack. Whatever it is, it is certainly worth pursuing.

Becoming an individual is like having a superpower, and not the crap super powers you see on twitter either. It is a superpower of individuality. No longer will you have to have others think for you. No longer will you accept the spoken word as fact. No longer will you live an ordinary life. It will become extraordinary, because it becomes your own.

Life in pursuit of your dreams is a sacrifice many of us are unwilling to undertake. There is much bark, but little bite when it comes down to the moment of truth. I think this is because the first, and hardest step, is going out on our own and simply being who we are, no matter what that means. People may not admit it, but there is a certain respect we have for someone who does their own thing, even if it’s not our thing. If we were to dig deeper in our psyche, I bet we would find that that respect is based on a hint of jealousy we have not done the same.

Everyday I work on being myself. I discover new things, work on my weaknesses, and continue to grow. We all do, whether we realize it or not. Some days are better than others. I can safely say that it is not a steady climb up the mountain. Some days we climb up, and some days we fall down. However, if we keep pursuing that goal, there is only one possible destination.

If you need a reminder stronger than this, check out the stories of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Jonas Salk, and Thomas Edison. Believe it or not, they were not that much different than you.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every person in the world runs into at least one problem a day. When you are a business owner, it can seem like you run into a problem per minute. Every time you solve one dilemma, an even tougher one seems to pop up out of nowhere. 

Dealing with problems is part of the job description for every entrepreneur. If you are not dealing with them, you are certainly delegating who is. Either way, you are going to set the tone for how problems are handled in your business, and better know the difference between problem solving and problem evolving.

If you tend to get emotional, your staff will do the same. If you tend to ignore the problems, your staff will follow suit. If you are waiting for someone to care more about your business than you, you are simply not cut from entrepreneurial cloth. Your business is your baby. Problems come with the business. Therefore, problems become your baby. The question is, are you a problem evolver, or a problem solver?

Problem Evolvers

Oxford American dictionaries states the definition of evolve is ‘to develop gradually, from a simple to a complex form‘. When a problem arises in a business, a problem evolver takes the initial problem and begins to mold it into something much, much worse. Their focus is solely on the problem, it’s possible consequences, and how they can be affected by it the least.

Problem evolvers tend to constantly bring up the problem, it’s inevitable doom, and who is to blame. They focus on the problem, who is responsible for it, and what consequences that party shall face. Instead of focusing on the solution, they make the person most responsible for the problem the target of their energy.

Problem Solvers

To solve a problem, according to Oxford American, means to ‘find an answer to, explanation for, or means for effectively dealing with (a problem or a mystery).‘ Essentially, problem solvers treat problems like a big game. They turn problems into fun riddles and challenges that drive them to find solutions.

Problem solvers never pinpoint blame, even if it is rightfully deserved. They don’t see an employee or a client as a problem. They see the position that that employee or client was put in as the problem. Problem solvers don’t worry about the potential consequences. They focus on how to surpass those obstacles, even when it seems there is no hope of doing so. Problem solvers remain calm, cool, and collected in order to take a fresh approach to the problem. After all, it is a game, and they want to win as much as possible.

The Unavoidable Truth

Truth be told, if you are in business, you are going to have to learn to deal with problems on a consistent basis. The growth of your business, especially if it’s yours, solely depends on your ability to navigate through the daily, sometimes seemingly insurmountable problems that swoop in like rain clouds on a sunny day.

If you can’t avoid them, you might as well learn to enjoy them. Become a problem solver, make it all a game, and challenge yourself to lead your business through whatever storm might come next. You are ready. You are confident. You are excited, because you are a Problem solver. Problems are what you love. In fact, you look forward to them and revel in setting an example for your staff and clients. Handling them is the daily challenge that gets you out o bed in the morning. What once was a burden, now becomes your fuel. Say it with me…

‘I am a problem solver. Handling problems is what I do. I know a problem without a solution does not exist. In fact, the bigger the problem, the more fun the challenge.‘

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

“The whole world is nuts. The only difference is the kind of shell we wear to protect us.” – Pj

Maybe it’s me, but lately I think everyone is a little on edge. I would imagine it has a lot to do with the economy. ‘Everyone is hurting out there, it’s just a matter to what degree’, a client recently told me. When money gets tight, emotions run high, and people can take out their rage in the strangest of places.

A perfect example of this is the other day. I was walking my dog through my development as I normally do. I live in a condo community, where you own everything on the inside, and they take care of the outside. You know, the basic definition of a condo. I stopped to talk to a neighbor about a stray cat everyone knows that animal control scooped up. I got the info I was looking for and continued walking. I stepped on the corner of grass in front of one of the condos when I heard a yell.

‘Hey, WTF are you doing? That’s the 2nd time I’ve seen you step on my grass.’

From out of their garage, this neighbor rapidly proceeded to get in my face with no shirt on. It was almost laughable. I explained to the dude that, first of all, it was not his grass. Second of all, you don’t have to be rude about it. If you would like me not to walk on someone elses’s grass, just ask politely. The dude acted as if he had snapped, and then regained control. He apologized briefly and just asked me to watch the grass he maintains.

Now, imagine being so angry in life that you are laying in your garage, waiting for someone to step on the corner of grass in front of a condo that you are renting. That’s right, not only does he not own the grass, he does not own the house either, yet he is worried about the grass.

I have noticed a rise in incidents like this ever since the economy started to decline. There seems to be more angry drivers, shoppers, customers, clients, and even business owners roaming about the world today. It is very tough out there right now, and the stress can weigh heavily on our minds throughout the day. Then, all of a sudden, one little incident can trigger a nuclear reaction. However, be careful out there. You never know when you might be messing with a blog writer who will tell your story to the whole world.

Even if you aren’t messing with a blog writer, it is important to not let the stress and emotions get the best of you. Currently, as I write this, I can think of many of my friends who would love to have their biggest challenge be navigating the current economy:

• My great friend, and ex-MMA fighter, who is now paralyzed after a motorcycle accident.
• My good friend growing up, who let drugs ruin his life, and now lives 50,000 miles away in Hawaii, unable to reconnect with his past out of fear of relapsing. He can’t even see his mother anymore.
• My sister’s friend who lost her sister in an automobile accident.
• A Cop in a town near me who’s 2 year old daughter just died from a rare sickness.

These are the kind of things that make us sit back and think that money problems are really no big deal. One way or another, we will get through them, and move on. Life is too big to stop for money issues, and so should we be. Why let some bills and debt ruin the days we are blessed to be above ground? So times are bad, economically. That does not mean they have to be bad overall.

I hope this post is a reminder to everyone of the important things in life. It sure is for me. It’s important to focus on your family, health, and happiness, not on the bills you can’t pay, or the job you hate. All of these things are changeable. None of them are life threatening, and in a few years, you may even sit back and laugh about it.

Until then, let’s all try to smile a little more during these trying times. Whether we are doing real good, or having the worst day, the fact that we are able to do one or the other, is really what we should be smiling about. I learned this first hand when I was hospitalized at 18 with Crohn’s disease. At the time, they did not know if I would get better. I remember all the little things I used to be concerned with kind of dissipated into thin air. They just seemed so trivial now that my quality of life was in danger.

Hopefully, it does not take a serious disease to teach you this valuable lesson. However bad things may seem, just remember, they could always be worse, just like they could always be better. At the end of the day, what’s really the difference? A good day is great, and a bad day makes you appreciate the good ones. Either way, we always win, no matter what our mind tries to tell us.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Everyone in life has their position. Whether at work, in your own business, in sports, at the dinner table, financially, or even in your personal relationships, their is an element of positioning. When trying to climb the ladder of success, we are inherently trying to improve our position in life, be it at work, or in our bank account.

Accountability

The first step to fighting for a better position in life is similar to a lot of first steps: Accountability. We must understand that what ever position we are in, it is because we settled for that spot. It is not because of any other reason. We decided at some point that this particular position was good enough. It might not have been a conscience decision. You may not have even thought of it that way, but the truth is, at some point, you accepted the position you are in.

That is okay. We all settle into a position at some point, at least until it gets uncomfortable again. Then we squirm around to try and find a new position. Some of us are eager to move up. Some of us will come tumbling down, and many of us will find it easier to move laterally. Moving laterally means we switch positions, but instead of moving up or down the ladder of success, we just move a little to the right, or to the left. So, yes our position has changed, but not the level we are on. It is almost like sitting in an uncomfortable chair, and then shifting your weight. It may feel good for a minute or two, but the bottom line is, no matter how much you try to make it, the chair will never be comfortable for long.

Settling for Less

Every position you are in you have settled for. Now that we understand that, we can see that if we are unhappy with our position, then we are really just unhappy that we settled for it. The position is not the problem. That is just a space that we fill. However, if you find that space uncomfortable, or unsatisfying, then only you can make the choice to improve it. To do this, you must make a deal with yourself that you will not settle for less than what you want.

When I graduated film school, I had to do something to make money quick. My family sold their 7 year old summer camp business, and now I was on my own to earn a living again. I was engaged to be married, had no job, lived at my parent’s house, and didn’t have a clue how to make money with the skills I had with a camera.

I started out trying to write screenplays, but they just were not good enough to garner any attention. So, instead of chugging along and finding my way, I jumped at the first opportunity I had to earn a living: mortgages. A friend of mine from Jiu Jitsu owned a huge company and I was eager to make some money and get some bills to pay. At the time, it seemed like the decision to take this job was what was best my wife to be, my parents, and myself.

This is the perfect example of settling for less. I didn’t want to just pay my bills. My goal was to pay my bills doing what I was passionate about. However, as soon as it got a little difficult, I switched paths to the easier road, and convinced myself paying my bills in anyway is what was best for everyone. So yes, for a little while I got to pay my bills, but in the end, when the economy got in trouble, I was left right where I started, with more debt, higher bills, and still with the problem of trying to earn a living using a camera.

Due to this, one rule of thumb I now live by is that if I am debating a decision, and the best argument I can come up with to do something is that it is what’s best for everyone ELSE, then I will no longer do it. I have learned that it is not selfish to do what’s best for you, cause in the end, what’s best for you is really what’s best for everyone else around you.

Learning First Hand on the Mat

As with most of life, I have found the perfect analogy for this in Jiu Jitsu. Just like chess, Jiu Jitsu is a big position battle. You are constantly fighting to get a better position then your opponent. In fact, many people who watch the UFC will complain when it goes to the ground because they feel the fight is boring. If you actually trained, you would enjoy all the battling for position that goes on when it looks like these fighters are just rolling around on the ground, because you would understand the importance.

Position is extremely important in Jiu Jitsu, just like in life. And, just like life again, if you wind up in a bad position on the mat, there is no one to blame accept you. You either made an error, or gave up fighting, and now your opponent has secured a dominant position.

When you are rolling (the term for sparring) in Jiu jitsu, many times you will find yourself tired as another one of these position battles happens. For example, you are exhausted, and your opponent is holding you down in side control like the following pic…

photo credit – Side Control Position

From here, as you are trying to catch your breath to escape, your opponent begins sliding their right knee across your stomach to try and gain the following mount position.

photo credit – Mount Position

Once an opponent has the mount position, it can be very tough to survive much longer. They are in a dominant position that makes it extremely tough for you to get out without exhausting much of your energy. Many times this is the beginning of the end in a match.

So let’s review the steps one more time. An opponent who had side control while you are catching your wind, begins to slide their knee across to try and get the dominant mount position. You have two choices here.

1. You can rest up, let the opponent get the mount, and then try to fight from there.
2. You can suck it up and fight like hell to make sure the opponent never gets the knee across and secures the mount because you know the fight from there is a hell of a lot tougher then the one you face now, no matter how tired you are.

Many times as a white belt, I chose choice #1, letting my opponent advance while I recovered. This always turned out to be a mistake no matter how tired I was. By resting, I was delaying fighting a necessary battle to reach my goal of winning. Inevitably I would have to fight anyway, but now from a much worse position. Each time I thought the rest was more important when the battle started. Each time, I was wrong.

In life, it is much the same. Many times we decide not to fight for a certain position because we are tired, or we convince ourselves it is not worth it. We fail to fight for better pay, or a better deal, or a better whatever. We settle for what we don’t have to fight for and just like on the mat, we usually find ourselves still fighting that battle, but from a much worse position later on.

The Key

The best way to secure a better position in life is to always be prepared to fight for it. Identify the position you are in, and where you are trying to go. Then, even when you are tired, worn out, or it is the last thing you want, if it is relevant to your success, you must fight for it. Otherwise, you risk losing ground to many others who will be trying to pass you on their way up the ladder. Once they get ahead, it is at least twice as hard to catch up.

In Life, unlike Jiu Jitsu, instead of battling one opponent, we face a myriad of opposition every day. So these fights can come from every direction. Sometimes they don’t even appear to be a fight. However, the bottom line is, if you want a better position in life, it is not going to come easy. You have to be prepared to pay the price for the position you want, and fight like hell to maintain and improve it. The better the position, the harder the fight. It’s all relative.

So the next time you feel that something is no big deal, or you’ll just handle it later, think of your positioning. Many times, you will realize, better to fight now, rather then let it go, and have to work twice as hard later on.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

The secret of success is actually quite simple if you think about it. Success is just about those people who keep on going when everybody else would have stopped.

For those of you that read Yin vs Yang regularly, you have definitely heard me mention Fallout Shelter before. I have chronicled their story a few times to show how persistence, patience, and perseverance can take you anywhere you want to go.

Recently, they have achieved a small success and their future is looking brighter then a new pair of 20 inch rims. URB Magazine has a big contest every year, and Haylo’s song ‘Don’t Let Her Go’ was one of the songs personally selected to enter the contest. Since then things have taken off. Fallout Shelter has been selling clothing, meeting new fans, and even was contacted by a big time Artist looking for beats. It’s a small step, but quite a motivating taste of the possibilities that lie ahead.

This just goes to show, that once again, no matter what anyone says, or how road the rough may seem, one day, if you keep on pushing, all the sweat and tears will seem worth it.  In fact, you will treasure them forever.  It’s tough times like these where we are reminded the value of everyday things we take for granted. It’s tough times like these that make moments like being selected for a major contest so exciting.

Success is an ongoing battle we all take part in daily. Most times we fail, but sometimes we triumph. It’s those of us reaching for the stars that benefit the most from these small moments of triumph, for they can carry us through the rest of our life.

So here is a Yin vs Yang tribute to Fallout Shelter for continuing to attack their dream with relentless passion. If you are interested, you can help them out by voting here.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Wednesday is usually Personal Development in Business, but today it’s just life in general…

Normally, a personal development post talks about what changes you can add to your life to make it better. However, this post is more about addition by subtraction.

You see, the other day, I thought of something that really has boggled my mind. I was thinking about the concept of ‘perfection’ that is held so dear in our society. Here is the definition from Oxford American dictionaries…

Perfection: the condition, state, or quality of being free, or as free as possible, from all flaws and defects.

Perfection is something we all hope to achieve in certain areas. It is a concept that is held in the highest regard. In baseball, the best a pitcher can do is throw a perfect game. In bowling, the best is a perfect score of 300. When taking an exam, we hope to achieve a ‘perfect’ grade of 100.

However, what was really bothering me was this question: ‘Does perfection really exist?’

Is there such a thing and is it natural? To me, perfection does not exist, except in the minds of humans. Animals, and other life, have no concept of perfection. Babies, when they are born, also have no concept of perfection. In fact, without the word, there would be no such thing. There would just be life.

The world is not perfect, by all accounts, but yet is it? Maybe the balance of imperfections and flaws is what keeps the world going. Maybe trying to make everything ‘perfect’ by human standards achieves exactly the opposite in life.

The yang of this yin is that because perfection is held in such high regard, imperfection is something we are all embarrassed about. Our imperfect body, or our imperfect credit score, or our imperfect relationship history, etc.,  is something we all tend to be embarrassed about at one time or another.

With this in mind, I started to think of a world where the concept of ‘perfection’ does not exist. Suddenly, everything started to make more sense to me. If you eliminate the idea of perfection, what you are left with is trial and error. On some trials, there may be no error. On other trials, there will be nothing but error. Regardless though, they are both held in equal regard. They are a trial. Perfection is just one possible outcome of the trial. It is an expectation that we create in our mind.

So why do we spend our lives striving so much for something that really does not exist?

We strive and strive to be perfect in school, college, work, business, our hobbies, and our social life. Yet, if perfect does not exist, how will we ever really achieve it? Why when we make a mistake, or fail to be perfect, do we get so down on ourselves? Being imperfect is actually the most natural thing on this planet, so why not enjoy it?

Two Simple Steps to Achieve Happiness

I challenge you to follow these two steps throughout the next day, week, or even month. See if this change in mindset does not effect you in the most incredible way. Whatever task you have at hand, or whatever goal you are trying to reach, I want you to try a different approach. Instead of trying to do everything perfect, I want you to try this…

1. Clear your mind of the idea of perfection. It does not exist. The task you are about to undertake is simply a trial. No matter how you do, you will have learned from experience and be better for it.
2. Focus on the task, and not the outcome. Do the best you can, and do not judge the results. Simply doing the best you can is all that matters.

I have found this thought process to be quite liberating. Suddenly, the pressure that society places on us to live these perfect lives is gone. Not only that, but now when I notice other people’s imperfections I realize, they are just like me. In fact, that’s what makes them unique. Where I have succeeded, they may have failed, and vice versa. All Human beings are equal in this regard. Never has a person lived a perfect life, so why do we strive to do so?

Striving for something that is impossible to achieve is only going to produce unhappiness, and a lack of satisfaction.

I think that is why, regardless of the incredible advances in technology, work, sports, and other areas of life, we as humans, and especially Americans, are never satisfied. Nothing is good enough for us, except a concept that does not exist except in our minds.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter in the comments section below…

If you enjoyed this, please share by Stumbling it. It is much appreciated.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

This past weekend, a very good friend and training partner of mine fought in his 3rd amateur fight. It was a close decision after a 3 round bout, with my friend losing 29-28 on all cards. For those that do not follow Mixed Martial Arts, basically my friend and his opponent battled for three rounds, and the judges decided that the opponent won 2 of those 3 rounds.

My friend was very disappointed, as any fighter is with a loss. When you have a fight, you have to train hard for months, making sacrifices in your diet, sleep, work and regular life. Imagine all those months of your hard work rolled into 15 minutes, or less, depending on the outcome. You can understand after a commitment like that how a fighter is upset after a loss.

However, it was not the first loss of his career that was really bothering him. Every fighter loses at some point. My friend was more mad at himself because he knew he was much better than his opponent. Honestly, he was heads and shoulders better than him, but he failed to show it. I have certainly been there, as I’m sure you have as well. I’m not talking about fighting in a cage. I’m talking about not seizing the moment when it’s there for the taking.

Carpe Diem

Lets not get it twisted. Life is complicated as hell. There are so many choices, chances, opportunities, and decisions, that it can make you crazy. However, if you break down life to its very essence and whittle it down to the smallest possible point, you will come up with this basic idea…

Life is made up of moments.

Life is simply moment after moment after other moments. They never stop until your life does. Each moment is special unto itself, bringing about some change in ourself. In fact, it is the culmination of these moments that define who we are. Without some of these moments in life, would we really be who we are?

The problem for us all, especially a fighter, is learning to seize the moment when we have the chance. Seizing the moment means that you fully understand and appreciate the moment during the time it takes place. You are completely aware of the moment, and nothing else. The future does not matter. The past does not come into play. You are simply living in the moment, unaware of anything else but what that moment brings.

The Latin term for this is Carpe Diem, popularly translated as ‘Seize the Day’. However, the meaning is inferred from the literal translation to ‘pluck, pick, or gather’ a flower. It was used to describe the joy of living in the moment and getting the most out of life. 

Getting Rid of Distractions

For a fighter, there are many distractions that can take you out of the moment. For example, thinking about the outcome of the fight, or what your friends might say, or what happens if you get knocked out. These are thoughts that go through every fighters mind, but they are not thoughts about the moment.

The moment of a fight is rather simple. You have an opponent in front of you who you must defeat. They will be coming full force at you, and you better be coming full force back. The fight itself is made up of many moments. Some will be triumphant, and some will be dangerous and test every ounce of your willpower. However, it is the culmination of these moments that determines the outcome.

The important thing, is learning to live in the moment. It is the only thing we have total control over. The object of a fight is to do your best, calmly, and efficiently, during every moment. The great fighters look like it’s a day at the beach when most people would be crying. They will look like they are about to lose, yet they are calm as can be. This is cause, to them, it is just another moment in the fight.

Living in the Moment

Growing up, I can think of a myriad of moments that I wish I had seized. If given the chance now, I’m sure the outcome would be different. The fact is though, once a moment passes, it is gone forever, never to return exactly the same. In fact, one of these moments was the day I had to fight for my blue belt. I got choked out by my same friend from this fight. He seized the moment after I tried to just pull off a lazy, highlight reel type move. It was a lesson I never forgot.

Inspired by my friend’s experience, and the fact that I have failed to live up to many moments myself, I have come up with a list of….

5 Tips To Help Seize Any Moment

photo credit

1. Clear Your Mind

The pressure is off. All you have to concern yourself with is the task at hand. There is nothing else.

2. Focus

What is the task you need to accomplish? Remember, I asked the task, not the outcome. If this was a fight, the task would be to beat up your opponent. It would not be to win.

3. Breathe

The most important part of any moment is breathing. It is necessary, and has incredible relaxing power. Take a few deep breaths to remind yourself of the moment you are in.

4. Enjoy it

No moment ever returns exactly the same so you might as well enjoy them all. Whether a good, or bad moment, there is always the gift of experience. Learn to love the moment, and watch how you flourish in them.

5. Have Faith

The number one distraction for most people during big moments is their lack of self confidence. Have faith in yourself. If you don’t believe you can seize the moment than you do not have a chance. Trust in yourself, as worst case, you will take home a great learning experience.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

Everybody has read about the fear of failure at one time or another. I have even written about it myself. It is often talked about as the reason most people hold themselves back. However, there is another fear that can be just as strong an obstacle. It is the fear of success.

Back when I was in high school, I tried out each year for my varsity soccer team. I never made the cut, and even gave up my senior year because I doubted I would get playing time. In hindsight, it was one of the worst decisions I ever made. However, the funny part about the whole thing is I bet I could have made varsity at anytime if would I have just tried to do so.

I was reminded of these events this week while teaching my Jiu Jitsu class. There was a girl taking the class who has been training for awhile. She is pretty good, and just about approaching a blue belt level. We were doing guard drills when I asked her to go with a rather new and out of shape white belt. She hesitated because the guy was almost twice her size. For those who don’t know what guard drills are, she was going to get in between his legs while he was laying on his back. She needed to get her body past his legs while keeping control and not getting swept.

You could tell she was scared, but she gave it a shot. Unfortunately, she lost her balance and was swept over rather easily. Afterwards, I explained to her what she did wrong, and she actually knew what I was going to say before it even came out of my mouth. I realized she knew how to win, but she was afraid to do so. It was then I had the flash back to the soccer field.

Believing in Yourself

The problem the girl and the younger me shared was the lack of belief in our abilities. Both of us were afraid of the challenge in front of us, even though we were more than capable of meeting it. If she would have understood that here abilities were no match for her competition, she would have easily succeeded. Instead, she believed she was going to fail and that is exactly what happened.

Just like me, however, she was not afraid of failing. If she was, she would have never even tried. She was actually afraid of succeeding. By winning that battle, she would then have no excuse to face that challenge again. The safety net of being smaller and female would no longer be relevant. She would have conquered her fear, and therefore, eliminated the excuse. This is exactly what she was afraid of.

The same went for me on the soccer field. I was afraid of trying to be better than everyone around me. I was afraid of having to meet that challenge day in and day out against the best players in the school. I would have to come to compete everyday. I would have no excuse if I failed. This is what I was really afraid of.

Being a success, means you have a new expectation to live up to. You will be held in higher regard. No longer will you be able to blend in with the masses. Nope, as a success, you are on a pedestal that everyone else below you strives to be on.

This can be a very scary thought for some. Giving our best effort to succeed means we will have to continue to do so consistently. Being a success means we will be challenged and have to prove ourselves day in and day out. 

Blue Belt Blues

In Jiu Jitsu, it is similar to the ‘blue-belt blues’. When I first got my blue belt (the rank after white belt), I was extremely proud. I was one of the first to do so in my school, and it was quite an honor. That honor, though, quickly became a nightmare for me.

You see, as one of the few blue belts in the school at the time, I suddenly had a target on my back. Whereas it used to be okay to lose to someone with a white belt, suddenly I was supposed to be better just because my belt color changed. It was an enormous amount of pressure that actually set me back for a few weeks. During my matches, instead of just trusting my abilities, I was constantly afraid of not living up to the expectations.

It took some time, but I soon realized the reason my belt color changed was because I had the ability. I may not have realized it, but it was there. I just had to accept that success in my own head, in order to fulfill my potential.

Some people can see this situation before they achieve their goals. They can see that winning is going to set them apart and put enormous pressure on them. This is what causes the fear of success. To battle this, I have come up with three small steps on….

How to Overcome the Fear of Success

photo credit

1) Admit it to Yourself

The most important step is the admission of this fear. When I was trying out for soccer, I had no idea this was my fear. However, looking back, I can see it now. A surefire sign that this fear exists is if you are considered an underachiever at something. Simply put, that means you should be able to do something, but you are not. Chances are, it is because you are afraid of the challenges success might bring.

2) Live in The Moment

Rome was not built in a day. That saying is perfect for overcoming this fear. The fear of success is not the fear of the challenge in front of you, but rather the new challenges that success will bring. Well, you don’t have to conquer all of those right now. Take it one challenge at a time. Take a deep breath and conquer the challenge in front of you. Live in the moment.

3) Be an Inspiration

If your own success is not the right motivation, then do it for others. In the Bronx Tale, the tag line from Robert DeNiro’s character was, “There is nothing worse than wasted talent.” Wasting the abilities you are given is a disservice not only to yourself, but to those around you. Successful people inspire others to achieve their own goals. Remember, by doing your best, even if it is not good enough, you are inspiring those around you to do the same. You will push them to be better, and in turn, they will push you to be better. It is why successful people are never alone.  Once you achieve something once, it becomes easier each time thereafter.

“The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows, it is what the man or woman is able to do that counts.” -Booker T Washington

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At Yin vs Yang, we feel that humor is one of the best ways to deal with everyday life. Nothing provides more humor for me then my pets. Anytime I’m having a bad day, I simply chill with my cats and dog. They bring a joy to my life not possible to translate into words.  All the late night walks, accidents, vet bills, and annoyances that come with the responsibility of a pet do not come close to matching the joy they provide in life.

With that in mind, enjoy this video of some unexpected, and choreographed, animal clips. Being a pet lover, this definitely brought a smile to my face.

Enjoy the weekend!!!

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Each day I wake up and I stare at this computer until my eyeballs want to fall out of my head.

I am a Graphic Designer. I love what I do, I go to work in sweats, messy hair, and eat abundantly. The fridge is only a few feet away. I get paid to draw, paint and create some pretty cool things. We work on globally reaching projects and get to blast the music all day, everyday.

Being an artist has its pitfalls though. We are sometimes over emotional wrecks. It’s that part of me that makes me good at what I do that also drives everyone around me insane at points (including myself). One thing I noticed about myself and the world, is at times we both can be very cynical, pessimistic and even down right negative. You’d be surprised how many forms negativity hides out in. Anger, fear, rage, dread, jealousy, resentment, confrontation, complaining, bickering, arguing, gossip, depression, anxiety, nervousness, war and judgment. All these feelings are something we all feel on different levels in our lives at different points. Some more than others. Each person will gravitate towards a few. They are kind of made up truths we tell ourselves internally that is just completely self deprecating and poisonous to us. It all boils down to 1 word. Resistance.

When we resist or anytime we are negative we do not accept the present.

We go through great suffering when we do not accept what it is happening in the now. We resist most of the times because our egos tell us that if we resist hard enough, through this resistance we can bend reality to what we want. Well its obvious that makes little sense, and definitely does not work. Trust me I tried. Think about this, your ego, the mind that rattles on and on in your head at times. The thinking mind, he / she thinks… it can get what it want’s by wanting it to be another way, If it wants hard enough it has a chance to change it. Did you get that? It’s obvious it believes it works that’s the only logical explanation our minds do this. It’s one of the strange idiosyncrasies of human beings. We have a mind that has an identity. No other animal on the planet thinks the way we do. We are blessed with a great mind, but it also can work against us if we are not careful. Do you know that we are the only species on the entire planet that resists living with the nature and earth that sustains it? We resist everything, from change, to life, to death and mourning, from greenhouse gasses and negligence of the earth to war and abuse of power. If we don’t resist some of us don’t feel alive.

There is hope though.

One of the greatest things about negativity that I recently begun to understand is that it can also be used for good. If you think of negativity in this light it changes its meaning.

it is there to alert us that we aren’t on track.

It’s the little annoying younger brother all wound up on chocolate, acting like sponge bob in your mind. Always around to put you down or any number of ways he plans to wreak havoc on you. You can use it as an internal alarm system. Anytime any form of negativity arises in you, use it to sound your alarm. Breath, take a few breaths focus on what your currently doing. Whatever that may be. Right now it would be reading this blog post. So whenever your little mind or little brother in your head acts up, ring your alarm.

Given this information our duty is to remember every time any spark of negativity comes about, sound an alarm in your brain. Jump up and down. Well maybe not jump up and down you will look like a nut. But in all honesty moving your position, even if its shifting your weight and thinking another thought can have a profound change in your emotional state. Use that alarm to let you know to STOP, and be totally present in the now, without any judgment of any thing around you. Just be. This is how zen masters live, Zen is about living in the now. The past is gone and it no longer exists, the future is forever fleeting and is never coming. The only glimpse of the future we will ever get in this lifetime is right …this….moment. Cherish life, your friends and everything around you. Live in the moment, that is our duty or at least that is mine so I can stop staring at this computer screen until my eyeballs fallout.

What do some of you do to stay sane and keep focused on life and your career?