Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

Jiu Jitsu is very much like a chess match. In each match, you are constantly positioning yourself to capitalize once all the pieces are in place. However, unlike chess, there is a very brief moment of time that those pieces will be in place. In fact, as you become more and more advanced at Jiu Jitsu, the shorter that window of opportunity becomes.

I can not tell you the countless times in my BJJ career that I have seen a perfect opportunity and failed to react to it. The majority of time is when I am rolling with someone who is better than me. When I am better, I am much more patient, and trusting in my abilities, but when the opposite is true, I tend to not trust my instinct as much because I am expecting to fail.

This is the mistake that I have learned to recognize.

The Window of Opportunity

Many times in life we have an opportunity appear in front of us. Be it at work, with a love interest, or anywhere else, all of us can talk about the times we should of done something, but failed to do so. The question I’d like to deal with is why?

Why do we let the fear of failure ruin our opportunities? If I analyze all of the times I can remember not going for a move in Jiu Jitsu when I should have, 99% of the time it was because I was afraid I would wind up in a worse position. I did not trust that the I would be successful going for the move, therefore, I was frozen in my tracks till the opportunity passed.

The same happens in everyday life. Ever see a girl or guy that you really wanted to talk to? Suddenly the opportunity presents itself, and you are full of excuses why you can not do it. The real reason you can’t do it, is the same reason I did not go for the move. We were both afraid of winding up in a worse position because we doubted our chances of success. However, on the mat, I have figured out a way to get around this, and it has really improved my game.

The Big Picture

What I had to do was come to terms with failure. I had to realize that not going for the move was actually worse than going for it, failing, and winding up in a worse position. You may be wondering how?

Simply put, I had to take my focus off of the moment, and look at the big picture. The moment suggests there is a pass or fail opportunity. The big picture though, paints quite the opposite picture. By going for the move and failing, I will learn a lesson. The next time that opportunity presents itself, I will be that much more prepared.

The same goes for life. Take the girl or guy from before. By talking to them, one of two things will happen. Either we will hit it off  and take it from there, or I will screw up and learn a lesson to help me the next time. Either way, if you look at the big picture, I come out on top.

If you walk through your life judging it from moment to moment, you will never see the big picture. Fear of the moment is over once the moment passes. However, with the unpredictability of life, it is safe to say that these moments can be few and far between. So the next time you have the chance to go for something, but fear has you frozen in your tracks, think of the big picture. Take your eyes off of the moment. If that does not work, then maybe you can try this.

Strange but True Solution

Another technique I use sometimes is to think of myself as an old man in a nursing home. Not just any old man, but actually myself in the future. I picture myself in a wheel chair telling the story of the moment I am facing to my peers in the home. I think about how I would want that story to sound. What would I want to say about the girl I saw? I would want to tell the other elderly that I went right up to that girl and gave it everything I got. I don’t want to say, yeah I should have, but I didn’t. It may sound strange, but this visualization has helped me on numerous occasions to see the big picture. By thinking like an old man in the future, I am able to glimpse the outcome of the opportunity in hindsight before it happens.

So the next time you are facing an opportunity, think of the big picture. The big picture is your life. The moment you are facing, is just that: a small moment in the long, long journey that life is. You think of the outcome in terms of the big picture, but you focus on the moment while in it to make the most of it. Either way, you win. When you look at it like that, why not take a chance?

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How do you deal with windows of opportunity when fear freezes you in your tracks?

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Look to your right.

Now look to your left.

Look up above you.

Now look under your desk.

Look all around everywhere you can see.

That is where you’ll find opportunity.

-Peter James

I guess I am feeling a bit poetic this Friday.  My company just finished another great commercial yesterday.  For all of those relatively new to YinvsYang, I will fill you in.  A little over 6 months ago (wow, time flies), my partner and I started this blog to mark a big change in our lives.  We had just started a New Media production company Reimagine, and soon after began writing.

The concept for Yin vs Yang was simple.  We were going to completely give up all the stuff in our lives that we did not want to do.  We were going to fight all the fear, obstacles, limits, and setbacks that life could throw at us will the sole desire to build the dream life we desired.  We were going to win the ongoing battle of Mind vs. Body in us all to do what we want, not what we can.  That meant only doing the projects we love, and not working just to pay our bills.  We were going to do all this and write about it, just to prove one thing:

Doing what you love to do will take you wherever it is you desire.

I’m sure this sounds admirable, as my ego would like you to believe, but in fact, it is quite a war of attrition.  Building a dream life &/or business is a huge process requiring patience, persistence, and perseverance.  Without these traits, you will probably give up over time.  In fact, I learned one simple fact about any challenge:

Success isn’t a possibility.  It must be your only option!

Do not take no for an answer.  Do not give up, ever.  When the going gets tough, you need to dig deep within yourself, find your resolve, and keep going.    It can be rough facing tremendously tough challenges.  You must understand that win or lose, it does not matter.  It is only about the path you take, not the outcome that occurs.

Sure, I am not out of the financial mess that chasing money got me into in the first place, but I am definitely on my way.  I am steadily building the life I want to live, as is my partner.  Because of this, our work is growing stronger, our reputation is spreading, and we are much better people on a daily basis because of it {well, at least most of the time }.

I imagine a lot of you have thought about just doing what you love, only to have reality laugh at you.  We are not any different, except we try to laugh right back.  It has been quite challenging and at the same time, quite rewarding.  I learn more and more about myself everyday, simply by sharing my inner most thoughts with the blogging universe.  My partner and I continue to fight each and every day towards this goal of living the life we desire, and sharing our feelings with others on similar paths is a blessing in itself.

We just would like to take moment to say Thank you.

We have had to believe with all our souls in our own success, or we would never get off our feet.  Sometimes, believing in yourself can be the toughest challenge of all.  It is our reader’s wonderful comments, or emails, that have kept us inspired to keep going. What we have learned is actually quite amusing.  I guess the best way to sum it up is like this:

Everyone wants to know how they can make a million dollars.  Well why not just ask the only person who knows the answer:

Yourself!

It really is that simple, or at least we believe it is. Do what you love and the rest will follow.  It WILL be difficult at first, but all great paths usually are.  For us, so far, so good.  Till next time, enjoy the weekend, and thanks as always for reading!

For all those interested, here is the local commercial we just finished….

Elite Martial Arts from Reimagine New Media on Vimeo.

I read an article on Yahoo the other day about how another 100 brand new species were discovered recently. I was intrigued that so many new species could be discovered in today’s technologically advanced world. Doing some further research, I learned a shocking piece of news:

In real life, nearly 15,000 to 20,000 new species are discovered each year. According to a recent report from IISE and its partners, 2006 saw 16,969 species named-the first time in scientific literature. (from here)

Think about it. In 2008, even after the invention of all this modern technology that is rapidly shrinking the world, over 15,000 new species are discovered each year. That’s right, over 15,000 and I’m not just talking about some remote, hidden species. This includes frogs, bats, plants, insects, fish, dinosaurs and more. Last year, a brand new species of mushrooms were discovered on Imperial College’s campus in London, right under everyone’s nose!

You may be wondering why this news is so intriguing to me. Well you have to look at it from a YinVsYang perspective. If there are tens of thousands of new species all throughout the world waiting to be discovered each year, think about how many opportunities there must be. Think about how many ideas people have not thought of. Think about how many exciting solutions to problems that people have not yet discovered. Think about how you can discover them.

If you see the world through this point of view, opportunities will open up right before your eyes. I know I sometimes feel there are limited opportunities out there as I’m sure some of you do. It can be tough to keep a positive outlook, especially in today’s economy, where even Las Vegas Casinos are struggling to keep their doors open. However, the opportunities out there are endless, I promise you. You just have to open up your eyes and keep looking.

Someone out there today is going to capitalize on opportunities that help them achieve all of their wildest dreams. Someone is going to believe enough in themselves to start the ball rolling on an idea they have always had. Someone is going to see opportunities where no one else has before.

The question I’m asking is: Why can’t it be us?

One of the most important parts of business, especially today, is networking. With the internet at its peak, and communication in many mediums as easy as a touch of a button, it is more important than ever for people to be good networkers.

Networking is important because it opens doors. Nowadays, contacting professionals in your field is as easy as can be online. However, people tend to be afraid still to reach out. ‘What if I sound stupid?’ some people think. Well, at least you sound something, because without ever trying to open the door, you can only guess what is behind it.

A person who excels at networking has one trait. They return phone calls, emails, or any other forms of communication, even when they don’t want to. How many times have you received a message from someone and you thought why on earth is this person calling me? It could be someone you have not spoken to in awhile or a person you do not like. It could be anyone about anything. It is still important to return the call.

For example, I had a friend from high school give me a call about three months ago. Now, I haven’t spoke regularly to this person in 10 years. They call every once in a blue moon about recreational activities. Well, three months ago, I was driving home from a tough day at the office. The phone rang, and I checked the ID. I had the same thought as before, ‘What on earth could this guy possibly want?’ I put down the phone, then thought better of it. I took a deep breath and answered the phone. ‘Heeeeey, what’s up man?’

This phone call, which I seriously thought of ignoring, was about fantasy football. The guy was calling me about a league. I was not interested, but in passing he asked how is my mortgage business doing. I responded that the business was getting crazy, but luckily I had another business that does websites & video.

Well, low & behold, before you know it, my friend flipped out. He had been looking for someone to redo his company’s website. He was basically telling me the job is mine, after I only showed him one site. Fast forward three months, I now have an extremely satisfied customer, another piece of work to show in a brand new field, and of course, some profit as well.

I could have very easily skipped that phone call. I could have been lazy, said to myself it was a tough day, and just moved on. However, when someone is trying to communicate with you, it is important to keep those lines open. Shutting doors in life just closes opportunities, especially today. Skipping that phone call would have cost me more than I could have ever imagined. How was I to know my friend needed a website, or even had his own company? On the flip side, how was he to know I had my new business when he picked up the phone to call me?

But we both picked up the phone, and we both opened up a new business relationship. I know it can be tough sometimes returning those emails, phone calls, or texts. Just try to remember, that each one presents its own unique opportunity for you. And no matter what you think, you never really know what that opportunity is.