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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Normally, today’s post is about personal development through Jiu Jitsu. However, today is not just any other day. First off, it’s Groundhog’s day. Secondly, in a few short house I will be leaving my 20s behind, and passing into the next phase of life otherwise known as my 30s.

Thirty years ago today (2/2/1979), at 1:22 pm, a 22 inch, 9 pound, 2 ounce bundle of joy arrived. I was the first child in my family, and the only male child for a long, long time. To celebrate this Yinvsyang style, I felt like writing a personal post to myself about what it’s like to look back on 30 years, and what to look forward to.

I can safely say that all of the previous decades I was completely unprepared for. I think your 30s is the first time in your life that you kind of know what to expect. In the teens there is high school, in your 20s there is drinking and college (not necessarily in that order), but in your 30s, you just kind of sail in unnoticed. Nothing much to look forward to age wise, except whatever you have going on in your life.

However, I am pretty excited about this decade. I figure I spent the last 29 and somewhat years learning what not to do. I am planning for my 30s to be the decade that I put all of those mistakes and learning experiences to good use. In light of this, I am going to list a few goals I have developed for myself to conquer in the next decade, not necessarily in any order…

1. Write a phenomenal screenplay
2. Make a movie
3. Have a child or two or three
4. Gross a million dollars for Reimagine in a single year
5. Get my black belt in BJJ.

Yes, these are some lofty goals, but if you are not aiming for the stars, where are you aiming? One of my favorite quotes, that my Dad sent to me, sums up my philosophy…

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

I think listing your long term goals on paper is a great way to inspire yourself to attain them. I would certainly suggest that anytime you have a birthday, especially a milestone one like 30, that you take the time to do so.

So let’s have a little fun for my birthday. I’d like to open up the comments today with a change of pace. I’d love to hear from all of you any advice, comments, or jokes, you have about turning 30. Let me have it!

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I swear on my life itself, if you don’t read this post in its entirety, stumble and comment on it, I am going to find you wherever you are and we will see if you EVER dare skip through a post of mine again. You HEAR me?! Now GET TO IT!

10 years ago, that probably would have been my approach as a blogger.

I had that bad of a temper. I could not deal with people thinking they were getting over on me, or someone who thought they were better, smarter, faster, stronger, or whatever.  I was ready to fight over anything, because I thought that was how I had to be.

Then, right after my freshman year of college, a strange twist of fate occurred.

My parents, with a partner, bought 86 Acres of land in central NJ. They went through the HUGE undertaking of turning it into one of the finest Day Camps in the area. Suddenly, at 18, I had a top management position in a camp with 600+ kids and over 250 employees.

Trial By Fire

Managing employees can be tough for anyone, but as a hot-headed 18 year old, it was definitely trial by fire. Most of the employees I supervised were middle aged adults working through their summer vacation. Believe me, they did not care what I thought or have any respect for my ability to make decisions.

How do you handle people who have no respect for you?

At 18, steam & SCREAM! was my style of choice. With the conviction of a revolutionary, I would charge into my Father’s office, face red as an apple, detailing why this problem employee needed to be fired, or maybe even shot. Their disobedience was hurting the day camp. Something needed to be done now or else!

Each time my parents would have the same 2 reactions:

1. They agreed I was correct in my assessment. The employee was not acting up to par.
2. They criticized me for losing my temper and overreacting. “Let it go,’ they would say.

This left me feeling betrayed. I was only doing my job. How could they let someone walk all over me, or even them? Why don’t they flip out? They said I was right, but they do nothing? I understood day camping was an 8 week gig and, with only 3 weeks left, finding a replacement for a sub par employee was next to impossible, but did that mean we had to take shit too?

True Strength

Whether a problem employee or client, my parents always remained diplomatic. They never would never lose their cool, or display any emotion, even if the other party did. By remaining calm, they remained in control, focused intently on finding a resolution.

My parents showed more strength in being diplomatic then they ever could have in giving into their emotions like me. I learned that winning each battle is not what’s important. As a matter of fact…

“..it’s not those you fight, but rather which battles you strategically avoid that determine the success of a war.”

These first-hand lessons were a great factor in my development as a business owner. I learned that true strength is not shown by your reaction, but rather by your restraint. For those that are like the younger me, and don’t quite understand the secret strength of diplomacy, I have created a short list to give you….

5 Reasons to Flex Your Diplomatic Muscles

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1. Gain Perspective

If you find yourself in any kind of conflict, business or personal, try to visualize the other person’s perspective. There may be something you are not seeing from your side of the argument. By taking the time to see it from their point of view, you will open up a clearer picture on how to properly douse the flames they are trying to fan. Sometimes, understanding the other person’s perspective leads to the best solution for both parties.

2. Gain Respect

In the dog world, the Alpha male of any pack rarely fights, even when he is bitten. By simply showing that he can not be hurt, the other dogs give in before the fight even begins. An Alpha Male knows their true strength, and will avoid at all costs having to display it. They earn more respect by not fighting a battle they know they will win, then they ever could by winning it.

3. Chit Chatter Matter

People love to talk. Don’t give people a reason to make your reputation the #1 topic of their ire. Every person plays some part in the community. Try to quell all fires before they spread by listening and addressing the upset person’s concerns, even if you feel they are wrong. Sometimes, just being given a voice is enough to steer people back in the right direction.

4. Brain Power

Ever try to think clearly under duress? Not the easiest thing in the world. Well this goes for when you get emotional as well. As soon as that temper flares, your brain is no longer clear to think for itself. It becomes consumed with feelings, emotions, and racing thoughts. Staying calm is the only way to keep a clear head. Sometimes people like to yell & scream because they feel you are not listening. Try focusing on what they are trying to say, not how they are saying it. Eventually, they will stop screaming because they will find it a waste of energy.

“The person full of emotion displays no control. The person full of control displays no emotion.”

5. Focus

Just like Brain Power, keeping your focus is important, especially on the big picture. Day to day, every battle can seem like life or death, but the truth is, most of the time those battles are forgotten about in a short while. Don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment. Stay calm, cool & collected. Focus on what your goal is, and don’t let anyone’s emotion, including yours, cloud that focus.

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YinVsYang was created to help shed light on the internal battles we all have on a daily basis, but usually fail to vocalize with others. We wanted to open up our souls, and tell all of the things we silently tell ourselves to the rest of the world. We figured if we think like this, than it must be that other people do as well.

By understanding the way we all function inside, it will help us to better understand other people’s reactions as well.  This helps us immeasurably in our daily lives.  Each time you interact with people, your emotion subsides, and your understanding takes over.  It leaves you calmer, with a clearer mind, and able to think from different perspectives.  Instead of being mad at someone for how they are acting, you turn it around, by understanding their motives.  This gives you the edge.  The person who gets the most emotional is the person who is the most out of control.

So what is the Mind Vs. Body?

With this in mind, I have decided I am going to do a three part series on the Mind Vs. the Body.  I hope that others will join in the discussion in hopes we may all learn from one another’s experiences.  I have found that controlling this internal battle is the key to winning the external war we know as ‘life‘.

I always write about the story of the 4-minute mile.  This short video explains a little more about the story and why it is an example of the MInd vs. Body.

The Mind

The mind is one of the most powerful muscles in the entire universe.  It represents the cerebral part of life, where all of your thought processes take place, such as….

• Dreams
• Goals
• Desires
• Beliefs
• Mood
• Fears
• The Conscience
• Interpreting Emotions & Feelings
• Judgement
• Memory
• Visualization
• Willpower

The Body

The body, is the other part of the equation.  It represents the physical world.  Your body provides all of the communication about the outside world to the mind, such as…

• Temperature
• Perception (sight)
• Taste
• Smell
• Sound
• Touch
• Pain
• Breathing
• Energy Levels
• Health

Spirit

The balance & connection between these two entities make up your spirit.  It is your spirit that drives your daily life.  For example, the mind has dreams and desires which effect which sights, sounds, and any other stimulus you pay attention to.  If you are interested in Jiu Jitsu, and you hear someone speak about it, then you are more likely to stop and listen.

What happens sometimes in all our lives is that one part of this equation takes control and messes up the balance inside us.  You may have a person who is lost in their beliefs, dreams, fears, or past memories, and is unable to function in the physical world.  This can be the story of their entire life, or it can be a small phase.

Or, on the other side of the coin, you have a person that is completely sensual, paying only attention to the physical aspects of life.  They ignore all of their rational thoughts in order to pursue a life of the flesh.  They have decided that feeling good physically is much more important than feeling good inside.

I’m sure, at one time or another, we have all experienced highs and lows like these in each of our lives.  Maybe we let the physical feelings control our mind and our actions, or instead, had our fears override any normal logic. It is in this regard that life is a constant challenge that never ends.  Each of us struggle to balance our mind & body on a daily basis, whether we are aware of it or not.  It is the people who learn enough discipline on both sides of the battle that go on to achieve their wildest dreams.

How Can This Help Me Achieve My Wildest Dreams?

Well, you’ll have to be patient and tune in for part 2.  I guess, this in itself, is your very first lesson in discipline .  But first, I would like to hear any thoughts or stories where you have found (or at least just realized) that your body & mind may have been a bit unbalanced.  The first step is always awareness.

Before we continue, I want you to think about this idea of balance.  See what takes precedence in your life: body or mind?.  Are you a person who follows your emotions &/or fears, wearing them on your sleeve?  Or are you a person who leads a life of the flesh, learns from experience only, and listens to no one but themselves?  Or maybe, you are somewhere in between, like the majority of us?  Either way, it is important to understand how you work before we go any further.

For me, I like to think I do a pretty good job of balancing the two.  When I was younger, I was completely a Mind person.  I was overridden by emotion, fear, and life like most of us are.  As I grew older, I began to understand more about the body.  I began to understand how my body communicates with my mind, and how to interpret what it is ‘really’ saying.  I began to understand that there is a lot more to this balance than I thought.

I also began to understand the dual Power of the Mind and the importance of the spirit.  See you here for part two, if you have the discipline…

This past weekend, I was in Cape May, New Jersey for the first time.  What a beautiful, wonderful place pulsating with history.  A little known fact about Cape May is it is the only ‘entire’ town to be declared a historic landmark in all of the USA.

Cape May is also a beautiful beach town and America’s first summer getaway.  Perfectly located where the Delaware Bay feeds into the Atlantic Ocean, it is a town that benefits tremendously from its thriving sea ports. It was at one of these where my wife and I purchased tickets to take a boat out to see dolphins and other animal life.  The tour took us out of the cape and through the nutrient rich waters off the southern tip of NJ, until we finally found a group of dolphins.

These handful of dolphins happened to be hunting.  We could tell this by the way they were swimming.  They would team up to swim circles around a school of fish causing panic among them.  Then, the dolphins would each take turns swooping in for the catch.  We, of course, only saw them when they surfaced, but the tour guide painted the picture down below for us.

In case you do not know, dolphins are extremely intelligent creatures.  They are mammals in an ocean filled with fish and use their resourcefulness to survive.  We could learn a thing or two from these dolphins.  We could learn even more from the school of fish though.

A school of fish are all individually equal, but incredibly on their own.

Even though they swim with one another in the same direction, the minute there is danger lurking, they all scatter in fear.  This panic, caused by a moment in which they are forced to act individually, leaves them in their most vulnerable state, and ripe for the picking of a hungry predator such as the dolphin.

Life is very similar to me.  Staying with the pack gives you the illusion of confidence.  You feel the safety in numbers, much like the school of fish.  This many fish can’t be wrong, can they?

Of course they can, and truthfully, they usually are.  Staying with the pack gives you the illusion of confidence because you are following a path someone else has set.  The majority have decided to follow as well which is why it feels like the right thing to do.  However, history has shown that staying with the pack is the least safest place to be.

Life is going to throw every one of us giant curve balls, some more than others. It is during these moments that we are defined as individuals.

However, if you have followed someone else’s decision making for the majority of your life, then you will not be prepared when it comes time to make your own crucial decision. Many of us follow the majority because we fear being wrong.  Our education system has taught us that we should not make mistakes.  We should all strive to be perfect.  This is the same education system that claims no one is perfect.  Basically, they are teaching us to strive for the impossible.  When we don’t reach that plateau, we feel like a loser.

However, those of us that look past the judgments, and continue making decisions for ourselves even after we fail, are the ones who will be prepared, and ultimately, successful.  We are the dolphins who will swim circles around the rest of the pack if and when it is necessary. We are the ones using our brains, like mammals were intended to do.

Sometimes the pack heads in the right direction and sometimes they don’t.  Only by thinking like an individual are you able to tell which direction is best for you.

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.  Alan Cohen

Sometimes we can forget what’s really important in life.

It’s meeting people like John Challis that helps put things back into perspective.  His message is Courage + Believe= Life.  It is a message we should all live by every day of our lives.  So go ahead and watch the video, but be forewarned:

Meeting John Challis will definitely change your perspective on life.

America is a giant competitive country built on a dream.  Any person has a chance to make a fortune and everyone is chasing it, especially where I live in the Northeast.  While being financially sound is a necessary goal, the path to getting there may not be as clear.  As a matter of fact, I believe it is hidden for good reason.  But instead of chasing the dollar, what if you could make the money find you?  Sounds crazy?  Maybe not.

Let’s break it down to basics.  You grow up, leave your nest (some earlier than others), and are forced to sink or swim.  Each of us have many options and ways of making money.  What happens is, we tend to focus on the short term.  I need $2000 for expenses this month, therefore where can i get a job making $2000 or more.  Though this seems logical, and it may very well be, but it is extremely short sighted.

The only way to excel in this world is to do what you love.

Whatever that is, you do it to the best of your ability and I guarantee money will attract to you like a magnet.  It will come out of the woodwork and feel like it is falling off trees.  When we do what we love, it no longer becomes work.  It becomes a challenge, a game, and it is fun every time.  Success, money, and opportunity all come knocking eventually.   It just takes time.

For me, this love is film making.  Whether a commercial, short film, or a dance recital, I love to create something from a puzzle of moving images.  Since I was little, all I did was watch movies.  Not that I sat on the couch all day, but if I was watching TV, it was not a show, it was a movie.  Any movie.  I have seen movies made in Africa, Australia, France, Japan, Russia, Taiwan, China, India, Iran, France, Italy, Spain, Mexico, South America, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Iceland, and countless other places.

I have also seen thousands of American movies before my time including silent films, early talkies, musicals, film noir, and anything else I could get my hands on.  I went to film school with a voracious appetite for film and I ate up everything I could. I soaked up as much knowledge as possible.  I even worked on countless other people’s films multiple times for free who never returned the favor.  However, I never got mad.  Not even once.

Now, the reason I saw all these films and dove head first into the world of film making, was because I love it.  I was gravitating around it my whole life.  I didn’t have to force myself to watch all those films or go to all those shoots on my own dime.  I did it for myself, because I wanted to.

Yet, when I graduated film school, I was torn.  I wanted money to live the life I was used to and film making was not bringing me any money anytime soon.  So instead of sticking with my dream, I went on a two year chase after the almighty dollar only to wind up in more debt than I ever have. I was chasing the dollar in my head, but in reality it was getting further and further away.

It was only when I was pulled back into film making by a friend that things started to turn around.  Since then, I have been asked numerous times at Jiu Jitsu if I have been working out extra.  They ask if I have started going to the gym because I feel stronger to them.  I laugh because it is not physical strength.  It is mental strength.  My head is at a better place now, therefore my body is much more in tune with it’s desires.

Doing what you love is one of the hardest things to accomplish in life.  It is a struggle up a mountain filled with people yelling at you to turn back.  It is only those with the resolve not to listen that wind up in a place those detractors will never see.

Doing what you love will make you rich, not just financially, but spiritually as well.  And the best thing of all, is it comes to you.  Just keep on grinding.  The apex of the mountain is just over the bend.

Today, after training this morning, I was driving home by myself.  My Jiu Jitsu school is located about a good 25 minutes away from my house.  The ride is quiet, through the backroads and farmland of North Brunswick, Jamesburg, Monroe Township, and Englishtown NJ.  There is not much to see except some old houses and lots of empty land.

I had the radio off and my mind was just wondering.  I was trying to drive and type in some notes on my phone to remember some of the thoughts I had.  This is not recommended.  However, it got me thinking.  Most of my blog ideas, my creative inspirations, and all sorts of ideas, come to me during my alone time.

The Dalai Lama recommended we spend some time alone with ourselves each day.  Well, if the Dalai Lama is not good enough for you, little old me is going to elaborate on it.  Spending time alone each day is a simple way to get the most out of yourself.  There are countless reasons, but the main reason is…

Spending time alone actually can increase your productivity.

When you are alone, you are not forced to think.  Your mind naturally, and calmly, wanders away.  It reviews whatever thoughts may be lingering in your head.  It cleans up some of the muddled mess that our minds become during the work day.  It also gives us a chance to breathe, which in turn helps our whole body, mind & spirit relax.

Now, many people know the benefits of a nice walk in the park, or quiet car ride, or an outdoor lunch, yet they still do not make time.  The day is filled with things to do that seem much more important.  I mean, how does going for a walk in the park help someone be more productive?

The answer is it clears your head.  Simple as that.  It gives you a chance to regain your thoughts in the solitude of your own head. It takes you out of the fire of everyday life and gives your mind a chance to rest.  This, in turn, helps your mind work at full capacity once it gets back into the swing of things.

Think of it like a wrestling match.  You wrestle until you get really tired.  Then you relax, grab a drink, and get right back on the mat.  Now, think of just wrestling straight through without ever stopping to rest or take that drink.  Who do you think is going to be a more productive wrestler? The one who had the break?  Or the one who did not?

Your brain works the same way.  Give it a chance to relax and regain its composure, and you will be twice as productive without the rest.  Your brain is a muscle.  It needs time to relax just like any other.  So spend some time alone with yourself.  Give your brain a chance to sort out its thoughts.  Your body will thank you for it, and so will everyone else around you.

I would love to start a discussion of how people spend their alone time and how it helps them.  Our minds could all use the advice, so please do comment.

Alright, it’s time for me to get to work.  I’m looking forward to my alone time already.

…continued from yesterday’s post…

The next lesson on how to better read people is a phrase you have probably heard a 1000 times.

Actions speak louder than words.

This is a well known phrase everyone has heard at one time or another. However, I don’t think people realize how useful it is on a daily basis.  Think of it like this: If actions speak louder than words, than you should be hearing people’s ‘actions’, not listening to what ‘words’ they use.  I have written before about how people use excuses to rationalize what they ‘feel’ like doing instead of what they ‘should’ do.  Think of a dieting person who says ‘I’ve been good all day.  I deserve a snack‘.

Listening to people’s actions helps us because we don’t get distracted by their rationalizations.  We just ‘listen’ to their actions instead, giving us a better read on them.  Once again, we must force ourselves to leave all judgments, expectations, and innate feelings behind.  We must only view their actions as they are.  If someone is a liar, then that’s what they are.  I don’t judge them for it.  I just understand what they are.  When I hear something from them, I know it may be a lie.  I don’t expect any different.  The ‘words’ that they say are inconsequential.  All they do is give you a glimpse of the individual’s personality.

For example, lets say you are dating a girl.  You tell her you will pick her up at 8:30 p.m.  When you get there, you are forced to wait a half an hour for her to get ready.  When she finally comes down, she tells you her Mom needed her help with something and her friend Monica called right as the breaker blew while she was blow drying her hair, etc., etc.  The next time you show up, again you have to wait 45 minutes before she comes down.

Now, there are a few ways to handle this.  You could scream and yell about how rude it is to always be late.  You could leave her house the next time it happens.  You could pressure her to be more on time.  But the smart thing to do is to simply realize the girl is probably always going to be at least a half hour late.  Instead of judging her for it, or worrying about the way she ‘should’ act, try instead to understand it, and use it to your benefit.

The next time you plan a date, tell her she has to be ready by a half hour earlier than she really does.  The point is that expecting people to change to meet your expectations is useless.  Instead, just use the information their actions give you to benefit you.  Don’t worry about what they say at all.  In fact, disregard it.  Just worry about what they do, because actions always speak louder than words.

Judging People Gets You Nowhere

I’ve mentioned this twice before, but it is worth mentioning again.  It is of the utmost importance to not judge others.  Judging others will only cloud your mind.  It will make it harder to read people because you will be allowing emotion to get involved.  Judging others really means that you don’t agree with their actions.  Their actions did not meet your expectations.

Don’t concern yourself with the way people ‘should’ act.  Just worry about the way they do act.  Everyone is raised different, and the world is a big place full of many unique people.  The mixture of many different cultures naturally causes conflicting thoughts, ideas, and customs.  But the truth is there is no right way.  There is a way that you would do things and there are a thousand ways a thousand other people may do things.

If you want to relieve some of the pressure and stress on your mind, then make sure you understand the following:

1. Don’t worry about what people ‘should’ do.
2. Don’t worry about what people say they will do.
3. Only worry about what people do, or have the reputation of doing.

It’s that simple.  Forget about stressing over why someone did what they did.  Every action is a lesson for you.  A glimpse into who they are as a person.  So don’t judge them for it.  Smile at the fact you are getting more information on who they are.  Accept it and move on.

Once again, even though it does help everyone, the point of this is not to benefit society.  The ultimate benefactor is none other than yourself.  No more ‘expecting’ people to do what they should.  No more disappointment when they don’t live up to those expectations.  Instead, you will be smirking to yourself at how habitual human beings are.  Humans penchant for their habits is why dealing with change is the most difficult thing for many people.  A routine is hard to break.  That is why people’s actions are so much ‘louder’ than words.  Words are easy to change, but actions are not.

These lessons are just a few of the major ones I have learned since I have been paying close attention to the way people act.  There are countless others.  Do yourself a huge favor and open yourself up to this world of communication, if you have not already.  It will reduce your stress, strengthen your mind, and allow you to live a healthier life.

Now, that benefits everyone, doesn’t it?

When I went to college in the mid 90s, I had a very good friend I met in my freshman dorm.  He was an Armenian young man, strong as an ox with an unmatched resolve.  He was also incredibly smart at anything he put his mind to.  However, the one thing I learned from him more than anything else is how to read people.

My friend had a gift for it.  He seemed to know things before they happened.  He was like Vito Corleone telling his Consigliore Tom exactly what every gangster would do before they did it.  He opened up my mind to a whole other world of communication I had no idea existed.  It consisted of reading others body language, responses, and actions. It was honestly the single most important thing I learned in my two years at the University of Maryland.  It is a skill I have been developing ever since.

All it requires is that you pay attention more to what people do and what they say.  Then you simply remove all your expectations, judgments, and innate feelings.  If you are able to do this, you will observe all of the expectations, judgments, and innate feelings in others.  You will begin to see who acts the part and who is the part.

Over my experience, I have come up with a few lessons to help you better read people.  I can’t say it is a fact with proven results.  I can only say, that they are lessons I believe with every ounce of my mind to be true.

People always make the most ‘noise’ about what they fear the most.

For example, picture a guy with cut off sleeves, jacked biceps, tattoos, & a goat tee walking around with tight clothes, clenched fists, & an angry look on his face.  This guy’s entire demeanor reads ‘don’t mess with me!‘  To me, if his demeanor is screaming ‘don’t mess with me,’  than that is what he fears the most.  He does not like to be messed with, simple as that.

He has learned, that if he walks and acts like this, he will avoid the average person messing with him.  This is his defense to the world.  He also gets the ‘tough guy’ attention he loves.  He probably promotes himself to girls as a guy ‘no one should mess with.’  Chances are that is not the case.  This guy simply wants nobody to mess with him.  He likes to play the ‘tough guy’, cause chances are, he is not tough at all.

In Jiu Jitsu and MMA, we get a lot of guys like this. They come into the gym with their new ‘Tapout’ gear on, goat tees, tatoos, and dirty looks for everyone.  Some have even fought before.  It is these guys that usually get wrecked.  They have a problem with their ego they have not worked out yet, therefore they need to look the part, in order to feel the part.  It stunts their training growth, because they believe they are tougher than everyone else, and not that they have more to learn.

However, we also get some people who are exactly the opposite.  They come in, are friendly, knowledgeable, and completely humble.  It is these people that are the scariest.

A great example of this is the last pro fight I cornered in Atlantic City, NJ.  My friend and training partner Ricardo, who is 5-0 in pro MMA and the light heavyweight champ of Louis Neglia’s Ring of Combat, was 4-0 at the time.  He had walked through every opponent.  None had made it past the first round.  None had even challenged Ricardo.  He is that good.

Fighters always arrive at the fights a day early for medical stuff and the weigh ins.  You always run into the guy you are going to fight because you are all eating and staying at the same hotel.  It is very common to have the elevator door open, and have to get in next to your opponent and his entourage.  Every fighter deals with this differently.  Many try to look tough, and stay silent.

Ricardo’s opponent was named Constantinos.  He was a pro boxer from Greece.  He had never fought in an MMA fight before, but had been training with a top school for awhile.  Each time Ricardo ran into him, he was nice, smiling, and genuinely kind.  He was not the slight bit nervous at all.  In fact, he was almost as calm as Ricardo.

I said to my fellow cornerman that I thought this was going to be a tough fight.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  And for good reason.  Ricardo is almost inhuman.  He destroyed some of the top fighters in the Northeast in under a round.  He was a division 1 wrestler who was ranked 10th in the country at one time.  He is one of the calmest people I have ever been around.  You would never know he was fighting if you hung out with him that day.  He is so mentally strong, that he is completely relaxed.

I noticed this trait about the other fighter though, too.  My fellow corner man, Chris, thought logically that this was Constantinos’s first fight and it was against a champ.  I thought differently.  This guy was too calm to be scared.  And if he is not scared of facing the champ in his first fight, than he must be tough.  Chris and I made a gentleman’s bet on it.

In the first round, Constantinos knocked down Ricardo, but then Ricardo took him down, mounted and controlled him for the majority of the round.  In the 2nd round, Constantinos nearly knocked out Ricardo.  The ref was a half step away from jumping in, when again, Ricardo took him down and controlled him.  In the 3rd round, Ricardo took him down and maintained control the rest of the fight.  It was, by far, the toughest fight Ricardo has ever had, and he was a second away from losing in the 2nd round.  I didn’t even have to tell Chris “I told you so.’  His body language said it all.

The bottom line is, it is important to read people’s body language, and not just use logic.  Logic said Ricardo would dominate, but logic only goes so far.  By reading this fighter’s body language, I was able to tell he was mentally ready.   And anyone mentally prepared for a pro fight is going to be a tough match for anyone.

Reading people’s body language, their statements, and their traits, is a great way to get an edge in life.  Sometimes logic is not enough because every situation is unique in some way.  The best way to prepare is to learn to pay attention to how other people work. It opens up the door to a whole new world of communication you may have never realized existed.  It is a language much more truthful than any language we speak.

I guess my early college days were good for something.  Tune in tomorrow for part two.

Tiger Woods is one of the greatest athletes of our time. The man has pushed the boundaries of his sport all while maintaining full integrity with the whole world. He is an inspiration to us all

I came across this Nike Commercial on the net and was floored. As only a father can, Earl Woods explains how Tiger grew to be the man he is.  The theme is every dedicated, living dad can make a difference, one child at a time.

We can all learn something from this advice.