Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

I was driving home this morning from getting breakfast, when I had this really powerful thought.  I could not believe the relief it provided.  It all started last night.  I stayed up a bit late and watched a movie called Sunshine, directed by Danny Boyle.  The movie is about a group of astronauts in the future who are on a mission to save Earth by rejuvenating the dying Sun.  It was loaded with mesmerizing visuals of the Sun and space (I watched it in Blu-ray so that helped).

I guess those visuals were so wonderful, that they were still fresh in my mind this morning.  As I was driving, I kept looking up at the sky.  It is a beautiful day in Central NJ today. The baby blue sky is painted with Monet style clouds.  The Sun is shining but not too bright.  But for some reason, I felt different as I looked at the sky. After seeing that movie, it really got me thinking to the size of the universe.

I mean, it is a HUGE universe, filled with all kinds of amazing marvels.

As I looked up at the sky, suddenly, it did not feel like the limit.  It did not feel like it was the top of the world.  It felt more like just the beginning.  For some reason, this was a very relaxing, powerful thought. I had never noticed this limitation before, but out of the blue it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  The feeling was like being released from a long stay at the hospital.  You know the refreshing joy that engulfs you as you finally go outside?  Or, picture moving into a brand new, spacious place after being cramped in a small space for years.

The idea of an endless universe had a wondrous effect on my mind.  All of a sudden, with this simple thought that a big old universe is out there, and not just little earth, the possibilities once again seem endless.  In today’s world, with information only a click away, it may seem like there is nothing new out there.  As the world becomes a smaller place, I wonder if we can mentally feel cramped sometimes.  For me, it was refreshing to realize all the crazy things that go on are but a minute part of a huge, vast universe.

Will this powerful thought work for you?

Try it out yourself.  Next time you can, go outside, and look up at & through the sky…

• Think of how big the Earth is and how long it takes to get around the world, even today.
• Then think of the Solar system.  Think of how vast it is with all those giant planets & moons.  Think of it like Star Wars, where even at Light Speed, it takes years to get around.
• Then think of the Sun, and the enormous power it has to light up all the planets.  Think of its utter importance, and the life it provides.  Think of how many millions of miles it is from Earth.
• Now think of all the other millions of stars in the Universe just like our Sun, filled with their own giant planets, and solar systems.
• Finally, remind yourself this is just the stuff we have discovered so far.  No one knows for sure just how vast space really is.  There are new discoveries being made each & every day.

Who knows what is out there?

Aliens?  Other Earth like planets?  New Minerals? Metals? Gases? Life forms?  Why not?

For some reason, being reminded of all this by basically spending a night in space (through the power of the cinema), felt amazingly refreshing.  Instead of looking up at a sky I know very well, I thought of all the skies out there I have never seen.  I thought of all the other endless possibilities that go along with it.  I was no longer looking at the sky like a ceiling.  It had become a window of opportunity.

I wonder if anyone else will feel the same, and I’m interested to know if this personally powerful thought works for you.  For me, I felt bigger, re-energized, and intrigued.  Life is quite a gift, and I think sometimes our minds can make the World feel cramped.  New days sometimes feel like TV show reruns as we grow older and more used to our place in the world, like that’s all there is.

But then you are reminded of the endless frontier known as space, and suddenly, all seems new again.  So many discoveries to be made, ideas to be executed, and challenges to be conquered.  It is quite comforting to realize how many possibilities we all have yet to experience.  At least for me .

Try it out.  Does this powerful thought work for you?

The other day I opened my fridge to find a surprise random piece of cheesecake from my in-laws. I looked at it, thought about tasting it, and then passed. I am trying to cut out as much refined sugar from my diet as possible, and a cheesecake definitely doesn’t fit the bill. I searched the rest of the fridge, hoping to find something healthier to snack on. Unsuccessful, I looked back at the cheesecake. The way it was cut, it had a small piece sticking off of it. I rationalized that the little small piece is no big deal. All I was doing was tasting the cake. I quickly grabbed a fork, happy with my rationalization, and nipped off the piece.

Not that this is some huge deal, but it made me think. We all cheat on our diets here and there. However, I had one bite of the cheesecake and it made me sick. Not because it wasn’t any good. On the contrary it was quite tasty. Not because I broke my diet. It wasn’t the 1st time. Nope, I got sick because something I had been thinking about writing had just happened to me before I even knew it. I had become a victim of my mind’s rationalization.

Rationalization can be much worse than a small piece of cheesecake. It is a silent, little voice that creeps up in our head just at the right time, giving us the excuse to do what we want even when we know we should not. Rationalization is defined in Oxford American dictionaries as ‘the attempt to explain to justify (one’s own or another’s behavior or attitude) with logical, plausible reasons, even if they are not true or appropriate’.

I’ve noticed a process in my own head that I’m sure you have had happen to you. I will see something I want. Could be anything at all. Yet, my initial reaction is disappointment because I know it is not something I can or should have. For example, you are at the store and see this brand new item you want. Initially, you think to yourself ‘I can’t afford this.’ Then the rationalization starts to creep in:

‘Oh but it’s so nice’ (not a strong enough rationalization yet)

‘It would look great in my place’ (getting closer, but not quite)

‘How can I afford it?’ (reality makes a last ditch effort to surface)

‘I can just pay it out of my next check’ (Ut…oh)

‘Ooooh. Look. No interest for 3 months.’ (Danger! Danger!)

‘You know what. I work hard. I deserve this. I should reward myself.’ (the process is complete)

This happens to us all the time. Rationalization makes us feel good about what we do until reality hits. Like for example, 3 months later, you still don’t have the $$$ for the purchase you made and now the interest is starting to accrue. You sit back and wonder why the hell you ever bought this. What made you do it?

The reason is because your mind rationalized it. We human beings are smart creatures. Our mind has more power than any of us can truly imagine. But sometimes, that power can work against us. Our desires infiltrate our mind searching for some rational thought to make them acceptable. And the smarter we are, the more thoughts there are to search through.

The key to stopping this process Is to recognize it. That seems rather simple, but it can be tricky. Be aware the next time your initial reaction is ‘No’ but it turns into a ‘Yes’. Sometimes we even know we are rationalizing and still proceed with it. It is because our desires are clouding our mind, narrowing our thoughts down to one single thought that makes the desire seem plausible, at least for the moment.

Recognizing rationalization will at least remove these clouds. It will give reality a fighting chance over desire. Think back to the initial reaction of ‘No’. Try to rationalize that as well as the ‘Yes’ decision. Which one holds more weight in reality. Is it really worth the extra debt? Calories? Time? Trouble? or Whatever?

Chances are, probably not. Don’t become a victim of desire’s weapon of choice. Try hard to make a clear decision not affected by desire. Three things can help you achieve this:

1. Ask someone else who does not share the same desire what their opinion is. This let’s clearer heads prevail.

2. Wait a day. Instead of making the hasty decision. Come back the next day or week and see if it is worth it. Remember, in today’s day and age, you could probably just get it online.

3. Just say no. If you recognize you have to rationalize something, then maybe it is not for you.

Hopefully this will help with more than just an extra sliver of cheesecake. I have seen many people dig themselves into serious financial holes because of rationalization. Be careful. Your mind is a powerful thing.

It’s just a matter of understanding which way you choose to use it.