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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Everyone in life has their position. Whether at work, in your own business, in sports, at the dinner table, financially, or even in your personal relationships, their is an element of positioning. When trying to climb the ladder of success, we are inherently trying to improve our position in life, be it at work, or in our bank account.

Accountability

The first step to fighting for a better position in life is similar to a lot of first steps: Accountability. We must understand that what ever position we are in, it is because we settled for that spot. It is not because of any other reason. We decided at some point that this particular position was good enough. It might not have been a conscience decision. You may not have even thought of it that way, but the truth is, at some point, you accepted the position you are in.

That is okay. We all settle into a position at some point, at least until it gets uncomfortable again. Then we squirm around to try and find a new position. Some of us are eager to move up. Some of us will come tumbling down, and many of us will find it easier to move laterally. Moving laterally means we switch positions, but instead of moving up or down the ladder of success, we just move a little to the right, or to the left. So, yes our position has changed, but not the level we are on. It is almost like sitting in an uncomfortable chair, and then shifting your weight. It may feel good for a minute or two, but the bottom line is, no matter how much you try to make it, the chair will never be comfortable for long.

Settling for Less

Every position you are in you have settled for. Now that we understand that, we can see that if we are unhappy with our position, then we are really just unhappy that we settled for it. The position is not the problem. That is just a space that we fill. However, if you find that space uncomfortable, or unsatisfying, then only you can make the choice to improve it. To do this, you must make a deal with yourself that you will not settle for less than what you want.

When I graduated film school, I had to do something to make money quick. My family sold their 7 year old summer camp business, and now I was on my own to earn a living again. I was engaged to be married, had no job, lived at my parent’s house, and didn’t have a clue how to make money with the skills I had with a camera.

I started out trying to write screenplays, but they just were not good enough to garner any attention. So, instead of chugging along and finding my way, I jumped at the first opportunity I had to earn a living: mortgages. A friend of mine from Jiu Jitsu owned a huge company and I was eager to make some money and get some bills to pay. At the time, it seemed like the decision to take this job was what was best my wife to be, my parents, and myself.

This is the perfect example of settling for less. I didn’t want to just pay my bills. My goal was to pay my bills doing what I was passionate about. However, as soon as it got a little difficult, I switched paths to the easier road, and convinced myself paying my bills in anyway is what was best for everyone. So yes, for a little while I got to pay my bills, but in the end, when the economy got in trouble, I was left right where I started, with more debt, higher bills, and still with the problem of trying to earn a living using a camera.

Due to this, one rule of thumb I now live by is that if I am debating a decision, and the best argument I can come up with to do something is that it is what’s best for everyone ELSE, then I will no longer do it. I have learned that it is not selfish to do what’s best for you, cause in the end, what’s best for you is really what’s best for everyone else around you.

Learning First Hand on the Mat

As with most of life, I have found the perfect analogy for this in Jiu Jitsu. Just like chess, Jiu Jitsu is a big position battle. You are constantly fighting to get a better position then your opponent. In fact, many people who watch the UFC will complain when it goes to the ground because they feel the fight is boring. If you actually trained, you would enjoy all the battling for position that goes on when it looks like these fighters are just rolling around on the ground, because you would understand the importance.

Position is extremely important in Jiu Jitsu, just like in life. And, just like life again, if you wind up in a bad position on the mat, there is no one to blame accept you. You either made an error, or gave up fighting, and now your opponent has secured a dominant position.

When you are rolling (the term for sparring) in Jiu jitsu, many times you will find yourself tired as another one of these position battles happens. For example, you are exhausted, and your opponent is holding you down in side control like the following pic…

photo credit – Side Control Position

From here, as you are trying to catch your breath to escape, your opponent begins sliding their right knee across your stomach to try and gain the following mount position.

photo credit – Mount Position

Once an opponent has the mount position, it can be very tough to survive much longer. They are in a dominant position that makes it extremely tough for you to get out without exhausting much of your energy. Many times this is the beginning of the end in a match.

So let’s review the steps one more time. An opponent who had side control while you are catching your wind, begins to slide their knee across to try and get the dominant mount position. You have two choices here.

1. You can rest up, let the opponent get the mount, and then try to fight from there.
2. You can suck it up and fight like hell to make sure the opponent never gets the knee across and secures the mount because you know the fight from there is a hell of a lot tougher then the one you face now, no matter how tired you are.

Many times as a white belt, I chose choice #1, letting my opponent advance while I recovered. This always turned out to be a mistake no matter how tired I was. By resting, I was delaying fighting a necessary battle to reach my goal of winning. Inevitably I would have to fight anyway, but now from a much worse position. Each time I thought the rest was more important when the battle started. Each time, I was wrong.

In life, it is much the same. Many times we decide not to fight for a certain position because we are tired, or we convince ourselves it is not worth it. We fail to fight for better pay, or a better deal, or a better whatever. We settle for what we don’t have to fight for and just like on the mat, we usually find ourselves still fighting that battle, but from a much worse position later on.

The Key

The best way to secure a better position in life is to always be prepared to fight for it. Identify the position you are in, and where you are trying to go. Then, even when you are tired, worn out, or it is the last thing you want, if it is relevant to your success, you must fight for it. Otherwise, you risk losing ground to many others who will be trying to pass you on their way up the ladder. Once they get ahead, it is at least twice as hard to catch up.

In Life, unlike Jiu Jitsu, instead of battling one opponent, we face a myriad of opposition every day. So these fights can come from every direction. Sometimes they don’t even appear to be a fight. However, the bottom line is, if you want a better position in life, it is not going to come easy. You have to be prepared to pay the price for the position you want, and fight like hell to maintain and improve it. The better the position, the harder the fight. It’s all relative.

So the next time you feel that something is no big deal, or you’ll just handle it later, think of your positioning. Many times, you will realize, better to fight now, rather then let it go, and have to work twice as hard later on.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Wednesday is Personal Development in Business…

Every business owner would love to have one thing: more clients. In today’s economic climate, it is more important than ever to properly build your network. Now, being that this is a blog, I can obviously talk about all of the ways you can network through Social Media. We can discuss Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Flickr, and MySpace till we are blue in the face, but I feel like others have gone into much better depth about it than I ever could.

Today, I want to concentrate on 5 Ways to Find more business the old fashioned way: physically. To me, even with the massive amounts of people I network with online, I still get most of my business through personal interaction.

Networking for Your Business

It is quite easy for us business owners to network over a computer. I have done it myself for months. However, there is a trust issue over the computer. Most businesses are skeptical of working with people they have never met. Sure, I have gotten jobs this way, but it is difficult when you have not seen the other person’s face. I have found the following ways to have a much higher lead/job ratio, then the internet. Seems on the net, I get a lot of leads, but not a great deal of business.

What Methods Work for Me?

Now, of course this depends on your type of business. These methods work for every business, but especially for service based small businesses. For example, our company Reimagine specializes in web and video production. We could build a website for anyone in the world, ideally. However, so could anyone else.

To build your business from the ground up, I have found it is much more effective to make personal relationships, no matter what your business is. With personal relationships, you develop a camaraderie with your clients. They know what to expect, as you do. This makes it easier and easier to develop a positive working relationship. When they dial the phone, they know who they are talking to.

You can not put a price on reliability. It is probably the single most important trait a business can have. If your business is not reliable, then it will not be smart for a client to deal with you. This is what causes the fear over the internet. Sure, you have a website, and some great products, but how do your potential clients know what you say is true?

That’s why I have found building a business from the ground up to start with conquering your local area. Nothing beats having an effective base for your business, and there is no easier way to build a reputation then through personal interaction.

However, it all starts with spreading the word. Word of mouth is the most effective resource, but to achieve that, you have to give clients something to talk about. With that in mind, here are…

5 Steps to Physically Find More Business

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1. Join Local Networking Groups

It is a must that you find these groups and participate in them. There are private networking groups, the local Chamber of Commerce, networking events, tradeshows, town fairs, barter associations, and numerous other networks that businesses use.

2. Consistently Attend These Groups

It may take some time to sort out which groups work best for you, but to achieve success with this method, you have to go more than once. In fact, you have make consistent appearances. Let people get to know you personally, and that will lead them to what you do in business. Once people get to know you, not only may they give you business, they may recommend others to you as well.

3. Set A Good Initial Price

We all have the goals for what we want to make in our business. However, to get there, we have to sacrifice in the beginning. It can be very hard to give a good deal when you are struggling to build your business.

However, when approached in these networking groups, you have to think of the big picture. By giving out a great deal to one person, you will automatically get business from others. People in these networking groups network themselves. They talk to many other businesses. Do them right, and watch how your name spreads like wildfire among the people they know. Multiply this with a few key people in the group, and watch how the calls fly in.

4. Do Unto Others As You Would Want Done To You

No, I am not reciting the ten commandments. However, this is an important message. Most people attend these groups only concerned about how it can help their business. What I do, is I try to also pay attention to who I can recommend. I may meet a good plumber, mortgage broker, or landscaper who I can recommend to the people I know.

In turn, these people will be indebted to return the favor. Now, do not go hunt someone down who you recommended if they don’t do the same. It happens, but more often than not, this will get you some return business.

5. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Keep on networking. Keep on meeting people. Keep on pursuing business relationships. I know a guy locally who even started his own free networking group. There is no fee to join. The only rule is there is only one business allowed in the group per field. So for instance, I am the group’s web designer/development person. This guy is a mortgage broker, and every meeting he gets more and more business. Why? Cause it is his networking group. He started out networking with other groups, and eventually formed his own. All it took was him renting out a restaurant for free, with the promise people will order food during these weekly meetings. 

Talk about setting yourself up with business for life. He now has grown this group to over 5o businesses, and it is still climbing. That is 50 businesses (think of how many people work in a business) that all know his name, what he does, and that he is a nice guy.

Feedback

In the comments, add any other techniques you have used to grow your business through personal relationships.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Between training Jiu Jitsu, the neighborhood I live in, and being that I am only 29 myself, I run into a lot of people in their early-mid 20s. It is a crucial age for most because it is the time when college ends and real life begins. It is exciting, scary, and probably one of the biggest adjustments most people ever make. We go to school all those years just to prepare for the day when ‘real life’ begins.  When it comes, everyone thinks they have the perfect plan.

I remember when I was 24, I dreamed of being a director in Hollywood. I not only wanted to be a famous movie director, I wanted to be the greatest movie director of all time. I wanted to change the very essence of the way movies were made. I wanted to be remembered for the pure cinematic genius I knew I was. I didn’t want to work my way up to that position. I was too good for that. I wanted it now!

So I sat in my parent’s basement and wrote script after script in hopes of penning the greatest screenplay since Chinatown. I sent each of them out to agents, studios, colleagues, and anywhere else I could find. I applied for graduate school at NYU. I even opened my own company in preparation of my overwhelming success.

However, nothing worked, not even one bit.

Not a single person responded to my scripts. Even some colleagues I went to school with did not respond back. NYU denied me entry. My relationship with my girlfriend (now my wife) was heading toward marriage so I also had to think about earning a living. The bottom line was I needed to be a Hollywood director soon like I planned or else. This year of writing and networking was taking way too long. When was I going to get my break?

Somehow I came to the conclusion my major problem was that I needed money to make a film. While this is true to some degree, the most important item in any film is a great script. Since I could not get the script I had hoped for in my first 3 tries, I decided I was going to focus on money instead of continuing to write. I would get rich some other way and then fund my own movie that would shake the very foundation of Hollywood.

That’s the line of thinking that lead me into the mortgage business.

Of course, looking back in hindsight, this was one bad decision after another. I was chasing an unrealistic dream, and then worst of all, I began chasing money. Money is like a pretty girl. The more you chase it, the less of a chance you have. The problem was I was too inexperienced in my field & too impatient to to try and gain any.

Instead of planning properly for success, I just dreamed of it.

As I got a little older, I learned one important lesson about being successful: Planning is an important part of the process, but it must be done properly.

Many people, like the younger me, plan for this huge dream we have. We create all these wonderful pictures in our head about our future, but fail to focus on what’s really important: today.

To properly plan for success, don’t plan your life, plan your day.

In jiu jitsu, many people talk about their goals when they first start training. They talk about getting a black belt one day, and maybe opening up their own school. They talk about competing and wanting to be a fighter. They talk about a lot, but when it comes down to it, they always fail. The reason is they are concentrating on their dream, and not their day. Real fighters just come in and try to get better each day. They don’t worry about where they’re going. They worry about where they are.

Planning your day I believe is the best way to be successful. That does not mean you need to have a breakdown schedule with time slots for healthy snacks and tea breaks. It just means you have to plan each day accordingly if you want to work toward your dream.

Here are 6 tips to get you started.

1. Don’t worry about where you might be going.
2. Don’t worry about where you may have been.
3. Simply focus on what you want and nothing else.
4. Find one simple task you could do today to put you closer to that goal.
5. Accomplish that task. The earlier in the day it gets done, the better.
6. Repeat this each day.

Nothing much in life is accomplished in a very short time. If it happens, great, but counting on it will most likely leave you frustrated. Better to take it slow, and plan each day accordingly. If you want to be a fighter, plan which part of the day you are training, stretching and doing cardio. If I want to be a movie director, then I better be working on my video & writing skills each day. The key ingredient in success is consistency.

It’s as simple as that. The best way to start planning your life is to first plan your day. Start small, and climb toward the mountainous goal one day at a time. Before you know it, you will look back down the mountain and wonder….

‘How the hell did I get all the way up here?’

Then you will smile and think…’Day by day. I guess Yin vs Yang was right. Thank goodness for that site.’ (okay, maybe I went a little far after ‘day by day’, but I can dream too!)

About 6 months ago, I decided to give up on my miserable, failing mortgage branch.  I could have got a job somewhere to try and pay some of my bills but I was saddled with so much debt, I figured I might as well go for it all now.  Plus, chasing money got me into this mess in the first place.  I needed a change.

I had graduated film school only to wind up in the mortgage business trying to pay my bills.  Lucky for me, I met my future partner, Chris, through a fellow friend and broker.   Chris offered me the opportunity to get back involved in video, something I always wanted in the first place but was not ready to go after myself.  This was my chance.

We decided we would start our own media production company.  It would be our dream company tailor suited to fit all our needs and desires so we would be able to produce the most amazing work around.  That would be our key to success.

This all sounded great, but it took months to figure out the details.  In this time we discovered who we were through months of research, arguing, trial and error.  We went in one direction, only to circle back to the original direction.  However, we just kept on going.  We even started this blog to track the experiences on our journey to build our dream company.

What exactly is a dream company? Well, for us it had to encompass…

1. Only doing what we were passionate about.
2. Free time every week to spend working out, on personal projects & with our families.
3. Something that would not tie us down to one particular location.
4. Something with multiple income streams and the ability for passive income.

Again, this list was tailor suited to fit for our needs.  For you, it may be different.  However, I would recommend #1 be on everyone’s list.  Doing what you love is something I can’t stress enough.  We never know when our time may be up, so it is important to get the most joy out of every day.  Doing something for money definitely helps in the short term, but long term, I have found it drains me mentally and is actually harder.  Doing something I am passionate about starts out hard, but gets easier every day.

My partner is extremely adamant about being passionate with his work.  It reflects in the quality he provides and has thankfully trickled down to me as well.  What I have learned from him is the quality of work is incredibly valuable in ways you can not even imagine.

For example, one of our first video projects was a commercial we did for my Jiu Jitsu school.  We did it with a $500 budget, and we worked on it for FREE.  That’s right, for FREE.  Not only that, but we also did a $5,000 website for FREE as well.  We basically gave my friend four months of our hard work for NOTHING, and we did it with a smile.

Because we were passionate about what we were doing, we excitedly challenged ourselves to reach a level we had never achieved.  Even when I thought we went far enough, Chris kept pushing.  We were not getting paid, but at least the work might sell itself.  We accepted the risk and managed any personal bills through various side jobs just to make it work.  By June, we had our first commercial complete.  We had the website up and running.  We also had no money and no work in sight.

July was the toughest month for me personally.  I was in desperate need of cash.  I was questioning how much longer I could go on like this.  Everything I was doing felt right, but I was not seeing any financial return.  Nothing.  For a man, I don’t think there is a more inadequate feeling than not being able to pay your own bills.  Times were really rough with no possible end in sight.

Then, in the course of one week, things suddenly changed.

Our commercial started to make some noise.  Suddenly, I had two other Jiu Jitsu schools calling for commercials.  I also had another school calling for a website.  Plus, on top of that, another person called us to do a National commercial.  I could not believe it.  In a mere week, we were suddenly swamped.

But it did not stop there! The work kept on coming in.  After getting those 3 commercials, we also got a huge Web project in a field we love: MUSIC.  We were ecstatic about the project, not to mention the price tag it came with.  By only doing what we love, we have attracted even more work that we love to do.

Only this time, it pays even better!

Starting out on this road has been a challenge all the way through.  Everyday, I still get up and have to manage my debt day by day.  I have to sometimes borrow, finagle, work a side job, or do whatever I can to get by.  However, 6 months in and I can taste the possibilities.  I can see that it is definitely all worth it in the end, if I can just make it there.

Starting any business is not easy, so why not pick one you really like to do?  Even if you can’t see how the money will come, it is okay.  Neither could we.  Sometimes you have to head blindly on instinct and just have faith.  I know this is not easy.  I’m here to tell you, it most certainly is not.  In fact, it is quite hard.  I imagine if it was easy, everyone would do it.  I have found the biggest rewards in life usually come from traveling through the toughest roads.

Don’t be afraid to go after what you want.  In fact, be afraid to NOT go after it.

I am telling you, and my partner will attest, all it takes is passion, patience, and persistence.  You can have anything you want if actually set your mind on it.  That is not just some garbage a parent tells their kid.  That is the utter, and deepest truth I have learned in all my life.  I truly believe there are no circumstances, obstacles, or tribulations that humans can not overcome.  My experience has taught me to ignore all possible excuses because…..

I am the only one to blame.  I am the only one who can stop me from achieving my dreams.  If I do not stop, how can I ever have failed?

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Today I had a big sales meeting with huge ramifications for the future of my company.  We were under pressure to come in and show a client why we were worth a lot more money than the competing offers.  My company had done a lot of work for the opportunity to close this deal, and today was crunch time.  Either we walked out with the deal, or we did not.  I also had an added reason to be nervous about the meeting.

Last night we found out that a Web Development competitor proposed a price to our clients that was not only a lot cheaper, but supposedly faster as well.  This was of course, not possible.  But how was I to know the client believed me?

By the time I actually was able to fall asleep last night(if that’s what you call it), I was even more nervous about our chances.  This was a deal we thought we had in the bag, and now it was all up to how we handled the big meeting.  We either killed it, or it killed us.

Needless to say, here are some useful tips that helped direct our mental approach…

1. Under Promise, Over-deliver.  Everyone has the urge to tell the client what they want to hear, especially in a face-face meeting, but never make a promise you are not sure you can keep.  It’s best to overestimate, and finish early, than underestimate and come in late.  Do not get sucked in to meeting unreachable deadlines.  It’s best to give an accurate assessment than try to appease a client in the short term.

2. Nothing is worse than getting underpaid.  With big meetings, there can be an intense focus on getting the gig.  However, getting underpaid for the gig is actually worse.  Make sure you set the lowest you are willing to accept for the project before the meeting takes place.  This way, during the meeting, you don’t have to make a decision under pressure.  It has already been made.

3.  Be Honest.  This may sound naive, but it is better than any sweet talking.  I never tell a client what they want to hear, or try to out due another competitor’s lie with one of my own.  I simply tell the truth, and explain the reasons behind it.  I believe a client is always able to decipher sincerity and rehearsed answers.

4. Educate Your Customer.  Nobody should know your job like you do.  Make sure you let the client know that as well.  Talk to them in simple, layman’s terms so that they understand things better.  Don’t just try to impress them with fancy words or knowledge and don’t be afraid to tell a client that you know better.  If it is genuine, they will respect you more for it in the end.

5. Believe in yourself and your work. This may sound simple, but it is the most important tip.  Know what you want to get out of the meeting and visualize how you are going to get it.  My wife walks in on me having imaginary conversations all the time.  I am surprised she has not had me committed yet .  But the truth is, the more you are prepared, the better off you are, no matter what it takes.

6. Look at things from a client’s Point of View.  Figuring out what your client really wants makes it much easier to sell the deal.  Sometimes I can be so caught up in what I need, I fail to look at the deal from the customer’s point of view.  This is an important part of putting together solid business relationships.  No one stays in a one-sided business relationship for long.  Make sure what you are offering is fair for the client, as well as yourself.

7. Preparation is Key.  I like to have a brief meeting with my people before we enter a meeting.  In this pre-meeting, I pick a simple message we are trying to get across, and identify any anticipated discussions.  This gives us a chance to speak our thoughts before we are in front of the client.  It also helps everyone get on the same page before it is too late.

I would love to hear some other tips from your experience.

Just like you, I could always use some tips to keep sharpening my game as well.  Improving at anything is a never-ending process.

By the way, we did nail the meeting, and got the work for the price we anticipated.  We stuck to these 7 tips, and were not only able to get the project, but also at terms we know we will be able to meet.  It might have taken some extra risk, but it is all worth it in the end for us.  Under these terms, we will look successful, the client will be happy, and that will sell itself in the long run.

Know what you want, and don’t be afraid to make sure you get it.  Business is just like my favorite hobby, Jiu Jitsu:  It’s all about putting yourself in the best possible position to succeed.  Remember that, and all these tips, the next time you want to close that deal!

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