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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

It took only one human to invent electricity, one to discover the theory of relativity, one doctor to cure polio, and one man to lead the civil rights movement of the 60s. Albert Einstein had a problem, Jonas Salk had a mission, Martin Luther King had a dream, Thomas Edison had a goal, and hundreds like them had the same courage to live out their dreams no matter what that entailed.

Albert Einstein once said ‘It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.’

Martin Luther King had a dream that many were afraid to listen to, yet he told the world about it.

Jonas Salk tested the initial polio vaccine on his wife, daughter, and himself.

Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he revolutionized the world by inventing the incandescent light bulb.

All of these men were not afraid to be themselves, and trust in who they were, especially when times were rough. They knew the obstacles they faced caused everyone else to run in the opposite direction, however they stayed the course because they believed in themselves, no matter what that meant.

The question is, are you afraid to be yourself and live out your dreams?

This is not a challenging question, but rather one to be contemplated for a bit. You see, I can admit that I was very afraid to be myself for a long time. If you would have asked me then, I would have told you you were crazy, and probably tried to fight you (ooooh, to be young again).

Finding ourselves

Being who we are can be very difficult at times, especially when it conflicts with those around us. That is why there are so many mean people in the world. They are mean because they are afraid to be themselves, and some, rightfully so. Being themselves has caused others to mock, pick on, or worse, even physically hurt them. The world can be a tough place when you try to walk your own path. However, the end result is you wind up where no one else has before.

Being honest with ourself is another daily challenge we all face. Are we really listening to ourselves, or are we listening to our own excuses? It is the complexity of our mind that can make self honesty such a challenge. Yet, if we can truly be honest with ourselves, our life intelligence will grow at a rapid pace.

It took major surgery and a year of being stricken with a severe case of Crohn’s disease for me to see the importance of being myself. I was 18 years old, and faced with the prospect of never living a normal life again. After that experience, I started to chase what I love in life. There have been some bumps in the road since then, but somehow, I always wind up back on the same course toward my dreams. Sometimes a tragic experience can have an effect where suddenly, everything you thought was important means nothing now. In another words, your mind is cleared from all the bullshit we encounter in our lives, so it can see what really is important in our life.

Just Go Do It

Being yourself is not as easy as we might think. It takes hard, consistent work. Our brains are extremely adept at rationalization. So you may want to be that baseball player, but your brain will rationalize whether or not you can before you even try. You may think you are not big enough, or fast enough, or strong enough, or athletic enough, or even lucky enough. Whatever rationalization works best, your brain will find to avoid failure.

However, if we were never told such things, and wanted to be a ball player, we would simply just go out and do it.

What I have found is that being yourself is a challenge worth undertaking. It is like an individual revolution all inside your head. Suddenly, the straps are off, and you are free to roam the world fueled by your passion, without the chains of other’s judgement and/or opinion to hold you down. Every decision you make is actually decided internally, and not through three phone conversations and your Facebook friends list.

Standing Out is a Superpower

Being yourself is the only true way to stand out from the crowd, and conquer your dreams. You may think and feel like everyone else, but we are all unique in certain ways. It can be our passions, dreams, goals, or simply confidence that we can go where no one else has gone before, that separates us from the pack. Whatever it is, it is certainly worth pursuing.

Becoming an individual is like having a superpower, and not the crap super powers you see on twitter either. It is a superpower of individuality. No longer will you have to have others think for you. No longer will you accept the spoken word as fact. No longer will you live an ordinary life. It will become extraordinary, because it becomes your own.

Life in pursuit of your dreams is a sacrifice many of us are unwilling to undertake. There is much bark, but little bite when it comes down to the moment of truth. I think this is because the first, and hardest step, is going out on our own and simply being who we are, no matter what that means. People may not admit it, but there is a certain respect we have for someone who does their own thing, even if it’s not our thing. If we were to dig deeper in our psyche, I bet we would find that that respect is based on a hint of jealousy we have not done the same.

Everyday I work on being myself. I discover new things, work on my weaknesses, and continue to grow. We all do, whether we realize it or not. Some days are better than others. I can safely say that it is not a steady climb up the mountain. Some days we climb up, and some days we fall down. However, if we keep pursuing that goal, there is only one possible destination.

If you need a reminder stronger than this, check out the stories of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Jonas Salk, and Thomas Edison. Believe it or not, they were not that much different than you.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

“The whole world is nuts. The only difference is the kind of shell we wear to protect us.” – Pj

Maybe it’s me, but lately I think everyone is a little on edge. I would imagine it has a lot to do with the economy. ‘Everyone is hurting out there, it’s just a matter to what degree’, a client recently told me. When money gets tight, emotions run high, and people can take out their rage in the strangest of places.

A perfect example of this is the other day. I was walking my dog through my development as I normally do. I live in a condo community, where you own everything on the inside, and they take care of the outside. You know, the basic definition of a condo. I stopped to talk to a neighbor about a stray cat everyone knows that animal control scooped up. I got the info I was looking for and continued walking. I stepped on the corner of grass in front of one of the condos when I heard a yell.

‘Hey, WTF are you doing? That’s the 2nd time I’ve seen you step on my grass.’

From out of their garage, this neighbor rapidly proceeded to get in my face with no shirt on. It was almost laughable. I explained to the dude that, first of all, it was not his grass. Second of all, you don’t have to be rude about it. If you would like me not to walk on someone elses’s grass, just ask politely. The dude acted as if he had snapped, and then regained control. He apologized briefly and just asked me to watch the grass he maintains.

Now, imagine being so angry in life that you are laying in your garage, waiting for someone to step on the corner of grass in front of a condo that you are renting. That’s right, not only does he not own the grass, he does not own the house either, yet he is worried about the grass.

I have noticed a rise in incidents like this ever since the economy started to decline. There seems to be more angry drivers, shoppers, customers, clients, and even business owners roaming about the world today. It is very tough out there right now, and the stress can weigh heavily on our minds throughout the day. Then, all of a sudden, one little incident can trigger a nuclear reaction. However, be careful out there. You never know when you might be messing with a blog writer who will tell your story to the whole world.

Even if you aren’t messing with a blog writer, it is important to not let the stress and emotions get the best of you. Currently, as I write this, I can think of many of my friends who would love to have their biggest challenge be navigating the current economy:

• My great friend, and ex-MMA fighter, who is now paralyzed after a motorcycle accident.
• My good friend growing up, who let drugs ruin his life, and now lives 50,000 miles away in Hawaii, unable to reconnect with his past out of fear of relapsing. He can’t even see his mother anymore.
• My sister’s friend who lost her sister in an automobile accident.
• A Cop in a town near me who’s 2 year old daughter just died from a rare sickness.

These are the kind of things that make us sit back and think that money problems are really no big deal. One way or another, we will get through them, and move on. Life is too big to stop for money issues, and so should we be. Why let some bills and debt ruin the days we are blessed to be above ground? So times are bad, economically. That does not mean they have to be bad overall.

I hope this post is a reminder to everyone of the important things in life. It sure is for me. It’s important to focus on your family, health, and happiness, not on the bills you can’t pay, or the job you hate. All of these things are changeable. None of them are life threatening, and in a few years, you may even sit back and laugh about it.

Until then, let’s all try to smile a little more during these trying times. Whether we are doing real good, or having the worst day, the fact that we are able to do one or the other, is really what we should be smiling about. I learned this first hand when I was hospitalized at 18 with Crohn’s disease. At the time, they did not know if I would get better. I remember all the little things I used to be concerned with kind of dissipated into thin air. They just seemed so trivial now that my quality of life was in danger.

Hopefully, it does not take a serious disease to teach you this valuable lesson. However bad things may seem, just remember, they could always be worse, just like they could always be better. At the end of the day, what’s really the difference? A good day is great, and a bad day makes you appreciate the good ones. Either way, we always win, no matter what our mind tries to tell us.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

The last few weeks have been a bit tough for me. Although it has been quite exciting building my business, and seeing projects coming to fruition, the problem has been in making enough steady money to live comfortably.  The future actually looks bright. It’s just, in the present, it’s still raining. I’m sure every entrepreneur knows the feeling. The money you make goes right back into the business as you keep on molding it to perfection, time and time again.

Yesterday, it just seemed like from the minute I got up, to the minute I went to sleep, the bad news just kept on rolling in. To sum it up briefly, there were credit card problems, client issues, a sick family cat that is not looking good, and my wife quit her job. You could say it was quite a whirlwind day.

In the middle of this nightmare, I went to my partner’s house to work on further branding our business, and finally put up our own website instead of everyone else’s. While he was going through the process, my head was spinning with all sorts of nonsense. I had too many things to worry about. The pressure felt overwhelming. What was I going to do? 

“PETE!”

….my partner yelled. He could tell I was on another planet. I fessed up and tried selling him on my problems, but he wouldn’t bite. Then he said something that took a little while to sink in, but eventually eased my mind. It was one of those things that is so obvious you almost don’t pay attention to the legitimacy of it.

He said, ‘What is worrying going to do about it?’

That had always been my motto on life. When I was sick, I did not worry about getting better. I just focused on getting through each day. The same goes for now. Things are rough out there, and starting a business in these times is very challenging. It is even more challenging when you need to sustain a certain level of living that your family is used to.

However, worrying about things is only wasting time.

In fact, I’ll take it further and say that worrying is actually a cop out to dealing with the problem. Instead of taking proactive steps to sturdy my situation, and fight through the rough spots, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was worrying about what I was going to do instead of actually doing something.

It’s like a fighter standing in the ring worried about getting knocked out. If you are thinking about it, chances are, it will happen. You don’t worry about getting hit when you fight. You expect it. You just focus on your game and trying to set the pace no matter what they throw at you.

If you are worried, you are not focused, and that means you will most likely fail.

I think this is a common trap many entrepreneurs fall into while trying to get their business off the ground. We get tied down with deciding each day whether or not we are going to make it. We worry about the outcome instead of dealing with the now. In the end, though, the ‘now’ is all we can control. We may be able to come up with all sorts of possible outcomes in our head, but none of them matter. The only thing that matters is what you do TODAY.

We must learn to stop worrying about whether or not it’s going to work out. As my partner said, have faith in yourself. It is going to work. It’s just a matter of taking care of the now. After this pep talk, we got down to branding Reimagine, and it went rather well. Instead of wasting time worrying about my situation, we spent it on making my situation easier for the future. I just have to remember that it all happens just one step at a time. Nobody leaps the staircase to success in a single bound. Not even Superman.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

“Sometimes your the hammer, sometimes your the nail.”

This is a saying everyone at my Jiu Jitsu school knows. My instructor is a big fan of repeating it because it sums up exactly what Jiu Jitsu is all about. In Jiu Jitsu, MMA, and in life, in order to truly master something, you must understand all aspects of it. You can not possibly master Jiu jitsu without understanding what it’s like to be both the hammer and the nail.

Being the hammer means you are putting a beat down on the nail. Being the nail is the opposite, meaning someone is putting the beat down on you. Everyone who comes into Jiu Jitsu wants to, and sometimes expects to, be the hammer. You’ve seen people train on the UFC, and you’ve watched some of the moves on YouTube, so you think you are pretty well prepared. Maybe you even have a wrestling background, or are an animal at the local gym. Regardless, you walk into that first class with the expectations of a champion.

Learning off Experience

This is where it can all go wrong for a first timer. No matter what your background is, and no matter how tough or in shape you are, there is nothing that can fully prepare you for Jiu Jitsu. It is similar to other types of ground fighting, and yes, you need to be in good shape, but neither of these are the obstacles that will stop you from becoming the hammer. The true obstacle is experience.

Experience is what makes us who we are. In order to become the hammer, you must first be the nail. There is no escaping it. Even if you come in and do well against other white belts, you are not going to hang with the other practitioners who have been sweating on the mat 4x a week for the last few years. Simply put, experience trumps all else.

The same goes for life. As humans, we have a habit of pumping ourselves up with these enormous expectations. We dream of being the hammer in everything we do. Yet, when we become the nail, a myriad of excuses flood our mind. It can’t be. There must be something wrong. How could someone like me not do well?

It is because of the lack of experience. If you are inexperienced at something, why would you think you can do well against other, more experienced individuals? We have a word for people like that. They are called prodigies. Prodigies, as we all know, are extremely rare. So unless you think you are a prodigy at something, maybe you should try and lower your expectations. Believe it or not, it actually will help you get to where you want to be.

The Roadblock of Expectations

The problem with the high expectations is that it actually stunts your growth. I have seen a ton of strong, muscular athletes come into Jiu Jitsu. They start out way above other white belts because they are able to muscle out of submissions, and muscle other inexperienced people into tapping. However, they also take the longest to develop. The reason is, because they can rely on their muscle, they tend to do so instead of learning the proper technique. So they tend to consistently play the hammer with white belts and get beat down like a nail by everyone else with more experience.

On the flip side, the person who comes into train Jiu Jitsu with no expectations is always the most dangerous. They simply approach it like anything else, and jump right in. If they lose, they get up and try again. If they win, they get up and try again. Neither matters, because during every match they are soaking up as much knowledge as they can. They are not worried about being a winner or a loser. They are only worried about improving.

If you can approach every challenge in life this way, you will find the road to success a much smoother path. I think a lot of the obstacles we face in life are of our own doing. Many times, myself included, we put pressure on ourselves to be who we think we should be, without taking into consideration who we really are.

A perfect example of this is my film career. In film school, I was so concerned with being the next film prodigy, that I almost gave it all up when it seemed impossible. However, now I realize I should have just been doing what I am doing now: working each day to improve at it as much as I can. Because, as the saying goes…

“Sometimes your the hammer, sometimes your the nail.”

Regardless, you are always learning, so learn to enjoy both sides of the coin.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Wednesday is Personal Development in Business…

I recently learned an important lesson in business that I’d like to share with you. My partner and I run a website & video production company. We produce design driven media to help companies brand their business online. Our business is highly dependent on team work, and therefore putting the right team together is imperative to each project. Everyone involved in a particular project plays a role, and as the saying goes, you are only as strong as your weakest link.

In order to stay versatile in the web business, it is imperative from time to time to work with contracted outsources. Picking these outsources is where I learned an important lesson. Like many other businesses, we have formed relationships with many different outsources that we feel confident in. However, sometimes, because of the rapid changing technology, you need to go outside your trusted sources. This happened to us a few months ago. We needed a developer specializing in a rather new coding language. So, as the process goes, we put out a job ad, and then checked out the work from the responders. It is evaluating these sources where I learned an important lesson.

Picking your team is critical to success in business…

At first, my partner who handles the majority of the creative decisions, would sift through the work and pick out the most talented and qualified people. After this, we send emails to each of them to get an estimate of both the cost and the time for completion. Then, after we have all of this information, we make a decision on who to meet with. It is during this interview that we decide if we have made the right decision.

The lesson I learned is the order of importance for certain characteristics when selecting who to work with. See, at first, my partner and I, like most people, were all about talent. The more talented the work, the more we wanted to make them a part of our team. Talent is an important part of the creative process, and everyone figures the more talent you have, the better off you are. However, this was our mistake.

Headaches Cost Money…

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation, and only 5 minutes to ruin it.” -Warren Buffett

Talent is not the most important characteristic when building a team. In fact, it is last on the list. Time is money, especially in business. Therefore, the less headaches, the less time spent, and consequently, the more money made. Plus, even more important, is building a relationship with clients. The more headaches for the client, the less likely they are to work with you again. Nothing is worse than having to cover for your team when you know they are wrong. Protect your reputation by choosing the right people to represent your company.

A perfect example of this is last year’s Dallas Cowboys football team. They ignored all external factors when putting together their roster, choosing to go with talent over all else. Their squad was loaded with talented players with questionable character. What happened was the locker room collapsed, the distractions became too many, and they are still dealing with the aftermath from this season. They sold their soul and now they are desperate to get it back.

Anytime you work in a team, it is the culmination of that team’s effort that makes a project successful. It is never just one talented individual, no matter how it may seem. Everyone plays their role, whether it’s a success, or a failure. To help you get the most out of your team, I have come up with a priority list to refer to when judging candidates. Whether outsources, employees, or just a 5th member of your local basketball pick up team, this short list will help you make the right decision.

Top 4 Characteristics for Picking Team Players

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1. Professionalism

The key to quality and efficiency is professionalism. This is defined as a person who understands they are part of a business and therefore acts in a professional manner. They understand what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. They help out with client relations by providing honest feedback, quick responses, and by meeting deadlines. In short, their professionalism makes your job easier. Even though they are not representing your business, they act as if they are.

2. Relationship Builders

A good team player thinks long term. They understand that one project can be the beginning of a beneficial relationship for both parties. Good team players will ask about the project, give their professional input, and list their price for services. Individuals will give demands, worry about themselves, and think short term. If the person starts to ask questions about personal goals, benefits, or rewards, then you may have to move on. These types focus only on the single project and how it affects the now. Long term team players worry about building a relationship. I have found businesses, even one person shops, understand the importance of relationship building better than the work-starved freelancers eager desperate to pay their bills.

3. Experience

Nothing makes working with someone easier than experience. Experience means they have learned from their mistakes, and can even add to your experience. Nothing makes life easier than have someone to work with who has experience doing what you need them too. It gives you confidence in their abilities. This confidence makes life easier, because you will spend less time questioning if what they say is accurate. Simply put, you know they’ve been there, done that, and therefore they can do it again.

4. Talent

Talent is important, but it takes a back seat to these characteristics. Don’t get caught up in the wow factor of someone’s work. Take it into consideration, but look past the glitz and glamour. Remember, no team is dependent on one person to carry them. A team is only as good as the sum of its parts. Adding talent to one part of a team is useless if it is going to drain the talent from other parts of the team.

Comment Below

What characteristics do you find essential to building the right team?

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

This past weekend, a very good friend and training partner of mine fought in his 3rd amateur fight. It was a close decision after a 3 round bout, with my friend losing 29-28 on all cards. For those that do not follow Mixed Martial Arts, basically my friend and his opponent battled for three rounds, and the judges decided that the opponent won 2 of those 3 rounds.

My friend was very disappointed, as any fighter is with a loss. When you have a fight, you have to train hard for months, making sacrifices in your diet, sleep, work and regular life. Imagine all those months of your hard work rolled into 15 minutes, or less, depending on the outcome. You can understand after a commitment like that how a fighter is upset after a loss.

However, it was not the first loss of his career that was really bothering him. Every fighter loses at some point. My friend was more mad at himself because he knew he was much better than his opponent. Honestly, he was heads and shoulders better than him, but he failed to show it. I have certainly been there, as I’m sure you have as well. I’m not talking about fighting in a cage. I’m talking about not seizing the moment when it’s there for the taking.

Carpe Diem

Lets not get it twisted. Life is complicated as hell. There are so many choices, chances, opportunities, and decisions, that it can make you crazy. However, if you break down life to its very essence and whittle it down to the smallest possible point, you will come up with this basic idea…

Life is made up of moments.

Life is simply moment after moment after other moments. They never stop until your life does. Each moment is special unto itself, bringing about some change in ourself. In fact, it is the culmination of these moments that define who we are. Without some of these moments in life, would we really be who we are?

The problem for us all, especially a fighter, is learning to seize the moment when we have the chance. Seizing the moment means that you fully understand and appreciate the moment during the time it takes place. You are completely aware of the moment, and nothing else. The future does not matter. The past does not come into play. You are simply living in the moment, unaware of anything else but what that moment brings.

The Latin term for this is Carpe Diem, popularly translated as ‘Seize the Day’. However, the meaning is inferred from the literal translation to ‘pluck, pick, or gather’ a flower. It was used to describe the joy of living in the moment and getting the most out of life. 

Getting Rid of Distractions

For a fighter, there are many distractions that can take you out of the moment. For example, thinking about the outcome of the fight, or what your friends might say, or what happens if you get knocked out. These are thoughts that go through every fighters mind, but they are not thoughts about the moment.

The moment of a fight is rather simple. You have an opponent in front of you who you must defeat. They will be coming full force at you, and you better be coming full force back. The fight itself is made up of many moments. Some will be triumphant, and some will be dangerous and test every ounce of your willpower. However, it is the culmination of these moments that determines the outcome.

The important thing, is learning to live in the moment. It is the only thing we have total control over. The object of a fight is to do your best, calmly, and efficiently, during every moment. The great fighters look like it’s a day at the beach when most people would be crying. They will look like they are about to lose, yet they are calm as can be. This is cause, to them, it is just another moment in the fight.

Living in the Moment

Growing up, I can think of a myriad of moments that I wish I had seized. If given the chance now, I’m sure the outcome would be different. The fact is though, once a moment passes, it is gone forever, never to return exactly the same. In fact, one of these moments was the day I had to fight for my blue belt. I got choked out by my same friend from this fight. He seized the moment after I tried to just pull off a lazy, highlight reel type move. It was a lesson I never forgot.

Inspired by my friend’s experience, and the fact that I have failed to live up to many moments myself, I have come up with a list of….

5 Tips To Help Seize Any Moment

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1. Clear Your Mind

The pressure is off. All you have to concern yourself with is the task at hand. There is nothing else.

2. Focus

What is the task you need to accomplish? Remember, I asked the task, not the outcome. If this was a fight, the task would be to beat up your opponent. It would not be to win.

3. Breathe

The most important part of any moment is breathing. It is necessary, and has incredible relaxing power. Take a few deep breaths to remind yourself of the moment you are in.

4. Enjoy it

No moment ever returns exactly the same so you might as well enjoy them all. Whether a good, or bad moment, there is always the gift of experience. Learn to love the moment, and watch how you flourish in them.

5. Have Faith

The number one distraction for most people during big moments is their lack of self confidence. Have faith in yourself. If you don’t believe you can seize the moment than you do not have a chance. Trust in yourself, as worst case, you will take home a great learning experience.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

Recently, I tweaked my knee and was forced to take a small vacation from the mat. I always like to say that Jiu Jitsu tells you when it’s time to take a vacation. This was one of those times, as I strained my meniscus while training someone. I have not been forced to miss this much time in awhile, not since I tore the cartilage off of my rib right after I got my blue belt (I am a purple now). However, I definitely learned an important life lesson this week as I started to make my way back.

The Pecking Order of Life

In a Jiu Jitsu school, there is always a pecking order. It is constantly changing, but for the most part, everyone knows who taps who. It is not like there is one person who taps everyone (except the instructor). No, in Jiu Jitsu, it is all about match ups. I may do well against Person ‘A’. Person ‘A’ may do well against Person ‘B’, but Person ‘B’ may tap me. That is just how it goes.

The pecking order is not really important. It is just there for motivation. If I know there is someone who gets the best of me, I try to roll with them as much as possible to figure out why that is. In my school, though, I have been lucky enough to be near the top of the order, simply cause I was one of the first students. Since then, I have consistently trained, and therefore, anyone newer has less experience. However, that can all change relatively quickly.

Right before I got injured, I had been training a lot lighter than usual. I have been working my but off to promote my business, and I have a major project that needed my full attention. So, basically, for the last month and a half, I have not really been putting my best effort forth at Jiu Jitsu.

Making A Comeback

The other day, excited as can be, I decided to give my knee a try and go back. Luckily, everything went pretty well. While it bothered me a little, it was definitely no big deal. In fact, my knee was the least of my problems. My biggest challenge was keeping up with all the students who had been training consistently since I was gone. Sure, my wind was a bit off, and I was rusty, but all of a sudden, half of the students I used to walk through were giving me problems. Their guards were better, their movements were crisp, and their reactions were a step ahead of mine. Suddenly, I was not so sure where I stood in the pecking order.

Since my return (a week), I have trained a few more times and things are slowly returning to the way they were. However, what a shock it was for me at first. I never figured the time off could set me back as much as it did. What I failed to consider, was that while I was resting, other people were training. They were working to get better, while I was staying stagnant, or even falling back slightly.

The fact is my competition did not take a break, I did. Now I am going to have to work twice as hard to get back.

Jiu Jitsu = Life

My Jiu Jitsu school is like a very small sample of life in general. In life, and especially in business, if I take a break, I must realize that my competition will continue to work. Just because I was at a certain level when I stopped, does not mean I will automatically take back that level. While I am sleeping, resting, vacationing, dilly dallying or whatever, someone out there is working to get better than me at my bread & butter. Just like my Jiu Jitsu school, when I return, it is going to be twice as hard to get back to where I was.

This is not to say, don’t ever take a break. Rest is very important, especially if you are injured. But in the business world, there is no rest. We all need to sleep and take breaks, but we must realize the effort we are putting forth. See, my issue was not the injury. My issue was the slacking off I did before the injury. I was barely putting forth a solid effort and then I was forced to stop completely. Couple those together, and all of a sudden I fell almost two months behind.

Being on Top is Not Permanent

We all can get complacent when things are going well. When you are riding high on the ocean of life, it can be very hard to see when the wave is going to break. Then, out of nowhere, everything can come crashing back to earth. It forces you to get back on the surfboard and start paddling again as you watch your competition surf on by.

This post is a reminder to continue working hard, even if you are doing well. Just because you are at the top of the game, does not mean it is a permanent position. It is important to remember the work ethic that got you to that point because it will take the same the work ethic, if not more, to keep you there.

Think of it this way: The position you are in is bound to change naturally, because it is out of your control what others do. So, if that is the case, then you can either work to consistently adjust to the competition, or get comfortable in your spot and watch everyone else pass you by. With that in mind, I have come up with…

5 Tips to Fight Off Complacency

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1. Set New Loftier Goals

Sometimes, to re-energize ourselves, we need to set new goals. When I first started Jiu Jitsu, I never imagined I would get my purple belt. It just seemed so far away. Now that I have achieved that, it is time to focus on getting a black belt, something that never even seemed possible before. Setting this new goal will give me the energy to continue to train hard.

2. Find Someone Who Is Better

If your competition is not providing the challenge you need, find someone who does. Whatever your field, search high & low for a competitor worthy of your level. Remember, you only get to the top by beating the best. It is your job to continue to seek out those who are better.

3. If No One is Better, Create Your Competition

In Jiu Jitsu, this is kind of unrealistic. However, in life, sometimes we are the best at what we do. The best way to fight off complacency when you are on top is to create a better person. Challenge yourself by creating the perfect competition. What makes them better? How can you be more like them?

4. Take A Mentor Role

Sometimes, when we have reached our goals, we can find motivation in helping others reach theirs. I believe the best way to consistently improve yourself is to teach others what you know.Find someone who wants to be where you are, and help them get to that position. Indirectly, you will watch yourself grow as a result.

5. Raise the Stakes

When I roll with a person in Jiu Jitsu that I know I can beat, I tend to raise the stakes. What I mean, is I will let the person get me in a very bad position. I will allow them to get the right position in order to tap me. It is then that I will start to roll for real. This helps me prepare for when I am really put in that position. The preparation of getting out of bad spots allows me to get the most out of training with a person not on my level.

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What tips can you add to this list to fight off complacency….

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Each of us face our own unique adversities on a daily basis.  They can range from simple, minor difficulties with small consequences, to giant misfortunes with catastrophic ramifications.  Many people try their best to avoid adversity, but it is inevitable we will all have to face the music sometime or other.

When I was younger, I got into a couple of fights that taught me some great lessons in handling adversity.  One day at a high school party, a younger kid named Frank and I were hitting on the same girl, joking back and forth, trying to see who she liked more.   Well, one of Frank’s friends, Jay, decided it should not be a joke.  One word lead to another and before I knew it, I had this little dude talking all kinds of smack to me.

I left the party, shrugging it off as no big deal.  The next week in school, this kid continued his rampage.  I heard he was going to beat me up.  I heard I was scared of him.  I heard his whole ‘crew’ was looking for me and so on.  This was simply a typical high school confrontation.

The following weekend, Jay showed up where I was at.  He wanted to fight me.  I laughed and asked why?  What was the deal?  Nothing even happened and you still want to fight me a week later.  I don’t get it.  Well, now, it started to get embarrassing.  People were whispering ‘why doesn’t he fight him?”  It was starting to make me look really bad.

A week passed.  I was hoping the entire thing would blow over.  It wasn’t that I was scared of Jay.  I just really didn’t see the point in fighting over nothing.  Well, two weeks after the original incident I was at my friend Melissa’s house party.  I had heard rumors that Jay was going to show up to fight me, but at this point that was not new.  Sure enough, though, Jay and his entire crew showed up looking for me.

Now,  Melissa was trying to have a quiet party and there are a crew of kids here to fight me.  I told her not to be concerned.  This was no big deal.  If necessary I would leave. I went out to talk to Jay and settle this once and for all.  He got right in my face.  Melissa got nervous something would happen at her house.  I turned to her to reassure her it was okay.  Right at the moment I turned away…SMACK!

Jay punched me right in the face. We fell to the ground and I wound up on top.  Jay grabbed my face.  We scrambled but were broken up right away.  I had scratch marks below my eye where Jay grabbed me.  Unscathed, Jay and his crew left in their glory.  I was left to take care of my eye and deal with the fact a younger kid just embarrassed me in front of most of my peers.

The next few months in school were brutal.  Things were squashed between Jay and I, so that was over.  However, I had to deal with my reputation.  All of a sudden, I was considered weak and vulnerable because I had failed to stick up for myself.  I had turned away in the face of adversity and it smacked me hard.

This was a major turning point for me.

The one thing I could not get over was why I did not face the music when I should have.  I waited for weeks of this problem building until it blew up in my face.  And to make it worse, it’s not like I avoided anything.  We still fought.  If I had done the difficult task of sticking up for myself originally, it would have made everything afterward easier.  Instead, I now had bigger problems to deal with.

Luckily for me, things would come full circle.  As the year progressed, I made newer friends, started working out, and vowed I would never make the same mistake again.  A few months after the original incident, Jay’s bigger best friend Joe decided he liked the same girl I did, and again, she happened to like me (at least for a week).  So instead of him moving on, he decided to try and sabotage the relationship.

This time, I went to confront Joe right after school, but he was not there.  The next day in school, he came up to me right in front of the girl.  Backed by 4 guys, he told me he was going to kick my ass after school.   I was livid, but kind of relieved.  I was getting a chance to redeem myself by facing a similar adversity again.

That day, after school, I met Joe in the woods behind a convenience store.  I walked right through a giant crowd of Joe supporters and punched him right in his nose.  I knocked him down and beat the crap out of him until he quit.  It was quite vindicating.

Now the point of this blog is not to go and beat everyone up (not yet at least).  The point is that these two situations were handled totally different and had opposite conclusions.  The first incident I ignored the adversity.  I secretly hoped it would go away even though I figured it would not.  Instead it wound up getting worse.

The 2nd incident, I had learned my lesson.  The minute I knew a fight was unavoidable, I went all out.  Instead of hoping the adversity would go away, I did everything I could to handle it.  I stood up and faced it like a man should.  I focused all my attention on it.  In turn, the adversity was over that day.  As a matter of fact, I became very good friends with Joe for a long time after that.

This is an important lesson in life.

We face all sorts of adversity on a daily basis.  However, if we properly handle each situation up front, there will be much less adversity over the long haul.  It can be difficult mustering up the courage to face the music.  Confrontation can be intimidating, but it is a necessary obstacle you must overcome.

I remember thinking to myself, ‘Just punch him in the face, just hit him first.‘  Once I did, everything got easier.  The stress was gone, the burden lifted.  Sometimes, life just likes to test us.  It’s how we react to these tests that defines who we are.

This goes for all sorts of adversities.  Whether a sickness, an injury, or a financial nightmare, it is all about attacking the problem right away.  Waiting around will only make things worse. The next time you face any adversity, try and nip it in the bud.  Take care of it right there.  Don’t wait hoping it will subside.  Get right on top of it.

Your future will thank you for it.

For those that check in in the morning, sorry for the late post. I was at a Kindergarten graduation this morning. My mother has owned a nursery school for 14 years. For the last 6 or 7, I have done the end of year video for the Kindergarten graduating class. Today, her latest bundle of joys donned the stage in front of all the immediate family: grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. They sang their hearts out with the help of their teacher’s guidance. The parents applauded again and again.

Then it was time for the video. Let me explain a little about this end of year video. It is a collection of video from 3 days during the year (the first day, mother’s day, father’s day), plus a slideshow of still images from the beginning of the year all the way to the end. It is just like watching the entire year happen right before your eyes. Cue in the heart wrenching music and it is a hit every time with the parents. It makes me teary and I barely know the kids.

However, every year, the video for me is pretty unexciting. It not that I don’t like doing it. It’s just I have done it so many times, it is like an old routine. There is very little to satisfy my creative urges. I am doing much bigger work now, and this is like kid’s work. I have to do the same shots, year after year, with the same music, and the same format for the most part. I film it, put it together, cut up the video parts real nice, add the music, and voila, the video is done. Big deal.

But then I went to the graduation today for the first time in awhile. Once again, just like every year, half the people in the room were crying. The kids were laughing, reliving their kindergarten experience. The teachers were crying too. It is such a touching moment to see people moved like that by something you created.

Afterwards, there were many compliments on the video. I know it is good, but during the routine I always forget about this. I forget that I created a video structure that routinely is a success. I forget what the end moment feels like when the parents wipe the tears of joy from their eyes and hug their kids. I forget because I am stuck in the monotony of the routine. I have done it all before.

Each year this video puts a smile on my mothers face, the kid’s faces, their family’s faces, and the teachers faces. The parents relive their child’s kindergarten experience. The kids giggle their way down memory lane. The teachers remember why they love to teach. And today, I remember why I still love to do this ‘old routine’. I just have to remember the routine smiles, joy, and tears during the ‘old routine’. I have to visualize the success during the grind.

This is just an example, but it works for all goals. I try to think of it like climbing a mountain. During the climb, it may be so rough that you think about quitting, giving up. Is it worth it? However, when you reach the summit, and bask in the glory of your accomplishment, you will thank God that you did it. You will remember it forever. The moment on top of the mountain may be short, but it is definitely worth it all.

I think we need to ‘bask in the glory of our accomplishments’ before we accomplish them. We can use it as motivation. Think about what it will feel like at your greatest moment of success to help you get through your toughest moment of work. Really feel the feeling of how it would be if you succeeded. Let it run through your body. Visualize yourself in that ultimate moment of triumph.

Then take a deep breath, exhale, and remember that in order to get up the mountain it takes one step at a time. Try to let each step be a little easier by remembering the success that their path leads to.

Being heavily involved in the sport, I watch a lot of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fights. For those that do not know, it is like the UFC fights. There just happens to be a lot of different organizations many people don’t know besides the UFC. MMA is probably the fastest growing sport in the world. This past weekend, for the first time ever, an MMA fight was on national TV. CBS broadcast Kimbo Slice vs. James Thompson on Saturday night.

MMA is one of my favorite sports because it is extremely symbolic of life in general. It takes great endurance, dedication, intelligence, and patience to succeed. The other great thing about MMA is there are no excuses. When two guys fight it out, one wins & one loses. Simple as that. Life tends to not define winners as quickly.

A great MMA fighter, though, has to have one trait. They have to have a killer instinct. When you are fighting a tough opponent, having success has a problem. You are going to bring out the best in someone. When someone starts to get beat up, they usually make an all out effort to survive. Their best naturally comes out when you start to succeed, and when they are good, that means one tough fight.

A lot of fighters hold back during a tough fight, because they have a fear of losing. They have a fear of not winning the fight. So their number one priority is not losing. Their second priority is winning. These fighters rarely come out on top in these fights. When they do, you would think they had lost by the crowd’s reaction. The crowd respects a killer instinct, as does life.

Life is all about hurdling over your fears. One thing I have realized, is that success can be scary for many reasons. One, it is a big change with more responsibility. Two, just like the MMA fight, if you start to succeed, your work intensity is bound to pick up. Things will always get more challenging as you climb up the ladder. I think for these reasons, a lot of us hold back in life. Not blatantly, but just a bit.

We may start to have success, and then freeze up out of the fear of what that success means. The best example of this I can remember in my life was on the Jiu Jitsu mat. I was rolling with my instructor a few years ago. Please understand that he is heads & shoulders above me in every aspect of Jiu Jitsu, MMA, and Muay Thai, plus he has taught me everything I know.

We were training together, and I just so happened to set him up for a choke. He was helping me train, so his aggression was low, but a teacher never wants to get ‘tapped’ by a student. Getting tapped means they have been submitted and lost. The set up was pretty good, and as I reached my hand across to apply the choke, I realized he never saw it coming.

I could not believe it. No one had tapped the instructor in the whole school. Here I was, his face turning beat red, and gurgling sounds coming out of his mouth. The choke was sunk in real deep and he was struggling to work the escape. Then all of a sudden, like lightening, another wave of thoughts poured in.

‘If I tap the instructor, he will probably kill me. If I tell people I tapped him, I will have to live up to that level. Am I ready for that level yet? I don’t think I am ready for that.’

As these thoughts poured in, my hands stopped applying pressure. My killer instinct was gone. It had evaporated because of my fears. My instructor, during this momentary pause of pressure, managed to wedge his hand in and break my grip. Finally free from danger, he smiled and said ‘That was pretty close.’ I smiled back, not sure if I was relieved or mad I missed my chance. Two seconds later, he tapped me.

I am not saying without those thoughts I would have tapped my instructor. He may have very well gotten out of the choke anyway. Who’s to know? The point is, though, I will never know if I could have. I froze during my big opportunity because I was not sure if I wanted it.

In life, we have to be ready for the same thing. We have to know what we want. We have to not be afraid of going after it. If it’s something we really want, then we have to develop a killer instinct for it. We have to want it so bad, that nothing, no one, or no thing will stop of us from attaining it. If we don’t know what we are going for, then when it is in our face, we will have to make the choice then. That is a recipe for failure.

I was not sure if I really wanted to tap the instructor and incur the wrath for it. Now I know I would love it, but then I was just trying to be competitive. I was not trying to win. It is a different mentality. Successful people are not trying to be competitive. They are trying to dominate you. They think of nothing else, but winning. They don’t want to be on your level. They want to be above it. They will do anything they can to get to that point.

We could all learn from that. When one person wins, another loses. For some of us, that can be a catch 22. We feel bad for the losers instead of good for winning. For others, being a winner puts pressure on them to win again and again, or not ever be a winner again. It’s like winning the championship belt. It is a great achievement. It is also a great burden, as everyone else wants a chance at getting it.

Make sure you are prepared for your success. Make sure that success, and everything it brings with it, is truly what you want. And if it is, then you better just go for it. Go for it like no other person ever has. Bring a new level of determination to it. Bring that killer instinct. Understand that you are going to reach that goal. There is no one or no excuse why you can’t. Nothing can stop you. Nothing.

The minute these thoughts sink in is the minute you have already achieved these goals. Now you just have to go out and do it. Simple as that, and you should never settle for less.