Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

For the past few months, my partner Chris and I have battled countless times about the election. He is an adamant Obama supporter and I am an adamant arguer, which means I like to get his blood boiling by playing devil’s advocate. However, I definitely can say I am a huge fan of John McCain. I love his life story, his class, his hunger to do the right thing, and his never say die attitude. It’s why he got my vote.

I also was a fan of Sarah Palin. I know many people did not like her, especially for VP, but I did. I thought she handled what was thrown on her lap with great dignity, even if she was a bit conservative for my taste. I also come from a Republican household, so I consistently heard how good of a candidate and an American John McCain was. I’m sure that played a big role in my preference.

As the election came, and the overwhelming majority of America spoke by voting for Barack Obama, I felt bad for McCain after the effort he gave.  I don’t think he realistically ever had a chance but he certainly gave it his all. I thought his concession speech was pure class, something not shown by the McCain supporters who booed Obama during it.

I also have great admiration for the camaraderie that developed over time between the candidates. I grew to respect Obama, even if I differed with some of his viewpoints, just by the way he handled the race & his victory.

But then on Wednesday morning (i fell asleep Tuesday night), I watched the new President Elect Obama make his first speech as our future president.

I have to say, that what I saw completely changed my mind about everything.

For one night at least, it was not about politics. It was not about the worst economic crisis this century. It was not about abortion, or whether the war is right in Iraq. It was not about Democrats or Republicans. It was not about any political stance. What I witnessed was a true change in this country, and a change in myself.

I could not get over the elation from Obama’s supporters. If you watched the speech you heard about the African American lady from Atlanta who, at 106 years old, voted for Obama. As Obama spoke about all the things she lived through, I began to understand what this election means to so many people. I began to see the joy and hope in millions of his supporter’s eyes. It was inspiring to see so many people incredibly emotional and proud to be American.

It is not something I have witnessed since shortly after 9/11.  I think that right there shows that Obama was the right choice to lead at this time. The simple fact that his journey has inspired an entire country of young people shows what anyone can do if they believe they can.

If we believe America is a great place, a great place America will become.

Believing in yourself, and who you are, is the critical to your success in anything you do. Many people wait for others to believe in them before they are confident enough to believe in themselves. However, truly great people, believe in themselves long before anyone else does. Their belief in themselves is so strong, that it naturally permeates to others. Their undying attitude inspires the rest of us to say….

‘Yes we can.’

Never was that more clear to me then after I watched the incredible speech Obama gave. I was inspired, not only for my country, but for myself as well. It’s quite a challenge to believe in yourself, however, the opportunity is there for us all. Whether you want to be the next president, make a million dollars, stop world hunger, or simply become a writer, all it takes is the inner strength to believe it is possible.

The rest is just a matter of time.

What will happen from here on out with the President Elect remains to be seen. He has many tough challenges to face and a whole country hoping he can make a change. However, at least for right now, he has made more of a difference in America than I ever imagined possible. He has provided inspiration at a time the entire country is starving for it. He has reawakened the reality of the American Dream. That is something I will always cherish witnessing, regardless of my political stance.

So, from a McCain supporter, congratulations to President Elect Obama. It is very apparent you were a great choice and I look forward with the rest of America to better times under your leadership.

For those that were under a rock the last few days, or for those who want to watch it again, below is the speech from President Elect Barack Obama on Nov. 4th, 2008 in Chicago, shortly after he won the presidency.

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

As many of you know, I train and teach Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) for a Royler Gracie affiliate. All of the lessons I have learned in BJJ mirror my real life. Jiu Jitsu is like a small sample of life’s lessons right on the mat. It is why I always learn a little something about myself almost every class I attend.

At each BJJ class, after warm-ups, a certain move, or series of moves are taught to the class by the Instructor. We call these ‘The Move of the Day.’ The Instructor will breakdown the move(s), showing us the nuances of the technique, and then the students will work with a partner at perfecting it.

Next, the partners will take turns giving some resistance to simulate the move(s) during a match experience. This helps each student see some holes in their technique that they might not have noticed without the simulated resistance.

Finally, after all of that, the students roll (a term for sparring in BJJ) with one another. In my school, it has been common practice to speak up if you are able to pull off ‘the move of the day‘ during one of these live matches. It’s kind of like a bravado thing I guess. It doesn’t really seem to mean anything, accept that you have listened well for the day. However, over time, I have found that it means much more than that.

In Jiu Jitsu, Failure Breeds Success

“Nothing fails like success because we don’t learn from it. We learn only from failure.” –Kenneth Boulding

Being that I get to teach, and watch the progression of white belts, it has become quite clear that the students that rise to the top are the students willing to fail first in order to get better.

These students are willing to risk losing those daily matches in order to try the move of the day. Pride is not an issue because they know they need to gain experience. Other students tend to be too focused on trying to ‘win’ the match, rather than trying to improve. Therefore, they stick to what they know, and they try to win with that. This may work well for the day, but over time, these students will see little progression, if any.

It is pretty clear from my experience that the students who continue to try new things in order to get better initially will fail. They may fail over & over for months. However, they never seem to care. They know they are trying to get better over the long haul, and all of these little battles will mean nothing in the end. It is after all of this failure that I have seen these students all of a sudden ‘get it’. They rise to the top because they have all the experience. They have failed so many times, that they know exactly what it takes to succeed.

The Same is True for life.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” –Confucius

Many of us have goals, dreams, ambitions, and/or wishes for our lives. We grow up talking about them, yet when it comes down to taking the risks, many of us give up rather quickly. We would rather not try, than fail. If we do try, and we fail, we immediately make excuses and give up. I know I have done this countless times over my life.

Just like the BJJ students, without risking the failure, we are not going to get better. Sometimes, even though we know we will fail, we have to do it anyway because the only way to success is through these failures. If you do not try, then you can not fail, but you also can not progress. You will stay stagnant. Some people find comfort in that, but successful people do not. Successful people keep moving, cause either they win, they learn, or both.

I often wonder nowadays why as a society we do not cherish our failures? Why do we not celebrate a person when they fail at something they took a chance on? Why is failing looked at as such a bad thing if it is the only sure thing that leads to success?

The fastest way to success at something is to continually jump in the fire over and over again.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; un-rewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
–Calvin Coolidge

For instance, in BJJ, I can tell you exactly how to do an arm bar, step by step. However, when you try to apply it with real life resistance, there is no way you will get it on your 1st, 2nd or even 10th time. It takes persistent practice in live situations to be able to perfect the technique.

Well, the same goes for our ideas in life. If you fail at an idea, do not quit. Do not stop because you have failed once. As a matter of fact, you should realize that by failing once, you are actually one step closer to your goal. To start on another goal would be to waste the time & effort on the first.

Do not let the fear of failure control your life. If you think it does, then I suggest you take some time to try things you think are impossible. Jump into something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Put yourself through your fear and that fear will be no more. Learn to fail and learn how important it can be to your success.