Clerk: “Occupation?”
Comicus: “Standup Philosopher!”
Clerk: “What?”
Comicus: “Standup Philosopher! I coalesce the vapor of human experience into a viable and logical comprehension.”
Clerk: “Oh – a Bullshit Artist!”
Comicus: “Hmmmmmm….”
Clerk: “Did you bullshit last week?”
Comicus: “No.”
Clerk: “Did you try to bullshit last week?”
Comicus: “Yes!”
–From Mel Brook’s History of the World Part I

Have you ever been in the middle of a sentence, when you realize everything you are claiming is 100% complete BS (bullshit)?

Well, I have many times in my life. Sometimes I’m saying something I would like to be true. Sometimes it is something I hope, or wish, is true.  Sometimes, I don’t know what the hell it is or where it came from, but it feels like a veiled attempt to sooth my ego as the words leave. I can feel my facial expression change, and I wonder if the person I’m speaking to realizes it.

I know I’m not alone out there.

Bullshitting others is one thing, however, it becomes a real problem when you are not aware of your own ‘BS’. Nothing is worse than talking yourself up in your head. It’s one thing to fool others, and a whole other thing to be fooling yourself.

Over the course of my life, I have made a consistent effort to try and not claim anything that is not true, even if it sounds good at the time. This was further ingrained in my head when I started to take Jiu Jitsu. BSing is completely useless on the mat. Either you tap someone or they tap you.  What is said or thought before matters little once the action starts.

I have found BSing completely useless in life as well.

What do I mean by BSing? Let’s say you and a friend are talking about how fast you can run a mile. He says 7 minutes on average. You know you have never run faster than 7 minutes, but you have never really tried to either. If he can do it, then you assume you probably can too. So, before you have a chance to think, you hear the words as they leave your lips…

‘I can do 6 1/2 minutes easy.’

Now, while that may or may not be true, you have just set yourself up for failure. You naturally wanted to be able to run a faster mile, and believe you can, so you verbalize your emotions. If your friend asks to time you, then you may be in some trouble, as the truth is, because you never have, you don’t know if you can. However, by saying you can, you feel like a winner, at least for the moment.  The problem is…

Humans can smell BS from a mile away.

I would venture to say, that if this story was real, the friend would know the person was BSing right away. Humans tend to have an innate way of sensing other people’s BS. Maybe it’s the way it rolls off their tongue, or the look that envelopes their eyes, or the sudden lack of eye contact.  Whatever it is, how many times have you heard someone say something, smiled, and then muttered under your breath..

‘Yeah, right.’

Don’t think it has not been done to you as well. What I have found, is the best way to get to know yourself, hence personally develop, is to make a firm goal to not make any exaggerated claims, even if it’s just in your head. Whether it’s ‘I will finish that by tomorrow,’ or ‘I am the best at that’, if it is not true, or possibly not true, than your words will have little meaning. If it is true, then let your actions speak, rather then meaningless words.

If what you are claiming is not a firm fact, try this approach. Instead of setting the bar so high for yourself, set the bar low. Your friend says, ‘I can run a 7 minute mile’.  You respond, ‘Really, I think I can beat that, but I have not tried in awhile.’

Or try turning ‘I will finish that by tomorrow’ into ‘I will try an finish that as fast as I can. I’m shooting for tomorrow.’  How about changing ‘I am the best at that’ to ‘I’m usually pretty good at that.’

A simple change in your approach is all it takes to save face. Don’t become that person who just says things to sound good. Nobody respects a person like that. However, think of how much respect you have for someone when they say they are okay at something, and it turns out they are incredible at it.

Changing your expectations does a few things:

1. It gives your words more meaning. Instead of someone who is always BSing, people will look at you as someone who always does more than they say they will. Even though the same outcome may occur regardless of your approach, the person who did not try to ‘win’ with words always is more respected.
2. It puts less pressure on you. Why set the bar higher than it has to be? Why not just leave the bar where it is and try and surpass it with actions instead of with claims? Isn’t it better to say ‘I broke the world record’ then to claim ‘I’ll break the world record’?
3. It helps build your reputation. People respect honesty and a sincere approach. It also helps you be honest with yourself and know where you really stand, not pretend to be where you wish you were. Nothing worse than getting caught up in your own BS, and realizing it half way through your 8 minute mile.
4. It creates the aura of modesty around you. One of the best compliments someone can receive is how modest they are. Think of someone you consider modest and think of the opinion you carry of them. Now think of someone you consider a bullshitter. Which person would you prefer to be known as?
5. It let’s others easily accept you for who you are. Someone who knows their own weaknesses and is modest about their strengths, is a true winner. Let the actions speak for themselves. The reverb from those actions will easily drown out the small whispers of bogus claims.
6. If you are wrong, you still have your dignity. Let’s say you don’t beat that 7 minute mile. If you claimed you would without a doubt, you look like a liar and your words hereafter will have little authority. However, if you responded that you were unsure, but would try, you look like a winner. You met a challenge, tried your best, and let the results speak for themselves. Nothing better than that.

I challenge you to try and become aware of your own words. Try, at least for one day, to not make any claims that are not 100% true. Try to only speak the truth. This is not only to help your reputation with others, but also to help build confidence in yourself. I think you will find the results of this approach to be life changing.

‘On affaiblit toujours tout ce qu’on exagere’ (We always weaken whatever we exaggerate.) –Jean Francois de la Harpe

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Between training Jiu Jitsu, the neighborhood I live in, and being that I am only 29 myself, I run into a lot of people in their early-mid 20s. It is a crucial age for most because it is the time when college ends and real life begins. It is exciting, scary, and probably one of the biggest adjustments most people ever make. We go to school all those years just to prepare for the day when ‘real life’ begins.  When it comes, everyone thinks they have the perfect plan.

I remember when I was 24, I dreamed of being a director in Hollywood. I not only wanted to be a famous movie director, I wanted to be the greatest movie director of all time. I wanted to change the very essence of the way movies were made. I wanted to be remembered for the pure cinematic genius I knew I was. I didn’t want to work my way up to that position. I was too good for that. I wanted it now!

So I sat in my parent’s basement and wrote script after script in hopes of penning the greatest screenplay since Chinatown. I sent each of them out to agents, studios, colleagues, and anywhere else I could find. I applied for graduate school at NYU. I even opened my own company in preparation of my overwhelming success.

However, nothing worked, not even one bit.

Not a single person responded to my scripts. Even some colleagues I went to school with did not respond back. NYU denied me entry. My relationship with my girlfriend (now my wife) was heading toward marriage so I also had to think about earning a living. The bottom line was I needed to be a Hollywood director soon like I planned or else. This year of writing and networking was taking way too long. When was I going to get my break?

Somehow I came to the conclusion my major problem was that I needed money to make a film. While this is true to some degree, the most important item in any film is a great script. Since I could not get the script I had hoped for in my first 3 tries, I decided I was going to focus on money instead of continuing to write. I would get rich some other way and then fund my own movie that would shake the very foundation of Hollywood.

That’s the line of thinking that lead me into the mortgage business.

Of course, looking back in hindsight, this was one bad decision after another. I was chasing an unrealistic dream, and then worst of all, I began chasing money. Money is like a pretty girl. The more you chase it, the less of a chance you have. The problem was I was too inexperienced in my field & too impatient to to try and gain any.

Instead of planning properly for success, I just dreamed of it.

As I got a little older, I learned one important lesson about being successful: Planning is an important part of the process, but it must be done properly.

Many people, like the younger me, plan for this huge dream we have. We create all these wonderful pictures in our head about our future, but fail to focus on what’s really important: today.

To properly plan for success, don’t plan your life, plan your day.

In jiu jitsu, many people talk about their goals when they first start training. They talk about getting a black belt one day, and maybe opening up their own school. They talk about competing and wanting to be a fighter. They talk about a lot, but when it comes down to it, they always fail. The reason is they are concentrating on their dream, and not their day. Real fighters just come in and try to get better each day. They don’t worry about where they’re going. They worry about where they are.

Planning your day I believe is the best way to be successful. That does not mean you need to have a breakdown schedule with time slots for healthy snacks and tea breaks. It just means you have to plan each day accordingly if you want to work toward your dream.

Here are 6 tips to get you started.

1. Don’t worry about where you might be going.
2. Don’t worry about where you may have been.
3. Simply focus on what you want and nothing else.
4. Find one simple task you could do today to put you closer to that goal.
5. Accomplish that task. The earlier in the day it gets done, the better.
6. Repeat this each day.

Nothing much in life is accomplished in a very short time. If it happens, great, but counting on it will most likely leave you frustrated. Better to take it slow, and plan each day accordingly. If you want to be a fighter, plan which part of the day you are training, stretching and doing cardio. If I want to be a movie director, then I better be working on my video & writing skills each day. The key ingredient in success is consistency.

It’s as simple as that. The best way to start planning your life is to first plan your day. Start small, and climb toward the mountainous goal one day at a time. Before you know it, you will look back down the mountain and wonder….

‘How the hell did I get all the way up here?’

Then you will smile and think…’Day by day. I guess Yin vs Yang was right. Thank goodness for that site.’ (okay, maybe I went a little far after ‘day by day’, but I can dream too!)

I always learn more by teaching Jiu Jitsu than just by rolling (sparring).  This morning, as I was helping instruct a brand new student, I wound up teaching myself something about life.  The new student was having trouble maintaining his balance.  He would start out kneeling in a strong position on the ground (sort of like the person in blue above), but after he began to try and pass the guard (his opponents legs), he would get swept to his back time and time again.

I explained to him that in Jiu Jitsu, the most important aspect is staying balanced at all times.  Staying balanced is easy when nothing much is going on, but it gets harder & harder as the intensity & pressure pick up.  As soon as the New Student would try to react, he would sacrifice his balance.  The key, I explained, is to calmly face one battle at a time.  Staying calm helps you maintain your focus.  To pass the someone’s guard, you do it methodically with effectiveness, staying close and tight, achieving one small step at a time, so that it is impossible to fail.  As I explained this, it occurred to me how much Jiu Jitsu mirrors life.

Staying calm in the face of pressure is a critical key to achieving success.

In life, the key is to calmly face one battle at a time, so as not to get overwhelmed.  During intense moments, such as someone trying to choke you in Jiu Jitsu, overreacting leads to a worse position.  Calmly assessing the situation and moving methodically is the only way to better your position & achieve success.  It’s not abut speed, it’s about effectiveness.

The New Student next asked me what he could do to better maintain his balance.  I answered, “do not concern yourself with what you should do, just worry about what you should NOT do.  The only way to learn that is to get on the mat, make all sorts of mistakes, and gain the invaluable prize known as experience.  Only then will you learn how to stay balanced.”

The same goes for achieving success at something in everyday life….

Just jump in there, make all sorts of mistakes, and gain the invaluable prize known as experience on your way toward success.

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