Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Wednesday is usually Personal Development in Business, but today it’s just life in general…

Normally, a personal development post talks about what changes you can add to your life to make it better. However, this post is more about addition by subtraction.

You see, the other day, I thought of something that really has boggled my mind. I was thinking about the concept of ‘perfection’ that is held so dear in our society. Here is the definition from Oxford American dictionaries…

Perfection: the condition, state, or quality of being free, or as free as possible, from all flaws and defects.

Perfection is something we all hope to achieve in certain areas. It is a concept that is held in the highest regard. In baseball, the best a pitcher can do is throw a perfect game. In bowling, the best is a perfect score of 300. When taking an exam, we hope to achieve a ‘perfect’ grade of 100.

However, what was really bothering me was this question: ‘Does perfection really exist?’

Is there such a thing and is it natural? To me, perfection does not exist, except in the minds of humans. Animals, and other life, have no concept of perfection. Babies, when they are born, also have no concept of perfection. In fact, without the word, there would be no such thing. There would just be life.

The world is not perfect, by all accounts, but yet is it? Maybe the balance of imperfections and flaws is what keeps the world going. Maybe trying to make everything ‘perfect’ by human standards achieves exactly the opposite in life.

The yang of this yin is that because perfection is held in such high regard, imperfection is something we are all embarrassed about. Our imperfect body, or our imperfect credit score, or our imperfect relationship history, etc.,  is something we all tend to be embarrassed about at one time or another.

With this in mind, I started to think of a world where the concept of ‘perfection’ does not exist. Suddenly, everything started to make more sense to me. If you eliminate the idea of perfection, what you are left with is trial and error. On some trials, there may be no error. On other trials, there will be nothing but error. Regardless though, they are both held in equal regard. They are a trial. Perfection is just one possible outcome of the trial. It is an expectation that we create in our mind.

So why do we spend our lives striving so much for something that really does not exist?

We strive and strive to be perfect in school, college, work, business, our hobbies, and our social life. Yet, if perfect does not exist, how will we ever really achieve it? Why when we make a mistake, or fail to be perfect, do we get so down on ourselves? Being imperfect is actually the most natural thing on this planet, so why not enjoy it?

Two Simple Steps to Achieve Happiness

I challenge you to follow these two steps throughout the next day, week, or even month. See if this change in mindset does not effect you in the most incredible way. Whatever task you have at hand, or whatever goal you are trying to reach, I want you to try a different approach. Instead of trying to do everything perfect, I want you to try this…

1. Clear your mind of the idea of perfection. It does not exist. The task you are about to undertake is simply a trial. No matter how you do, you will have learned from experience and be better for it.
2. Focus on the task, and not the outcome. Do the best you can, and do not judge the results. Simply doing the best you can is all that matters.

I have found this thought process to be quite liberating. Suddenly, the pressure that society places on us to live these perfect lives is gone. Not only that, but now when I notice other people’s imperfections I realize, they are just like me. In fact, that’s what makes them unique. Where I have succeeded, they may have failed, and vice versa. All Human beings are equal in this regard. Never has a person lived a perfect life, so why do we strive to do so?

Striving for something that is impossible to achieve is only going to produce unhappiness, and a lack of satisfaction.

I think that is why, regardless of the incredible advances in technology, work, sports, and other areas of life, we as humans, and especially Americans, are never satisfied. Nothing is good enough for us, except a concept that does not exist except in our minds.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter in the comments section below…

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Friday is Video Day…

Two days ago, at the tender age of 95, one of the most influential martial artists in history, Helio Gracie, passed on from this world.

He is one of the founders of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, also known as Gracie Jiu Jitsu. His list of accomplishments are too long to list. If you are interested, I certainly invite you to check out his Wikipedia page. His story is the stuff legends are made from.

The video up top is an interview from October of 2007. Helio talks about his long lasting legacy and what he considers his greatest accomplishment. As a student of Gracie Jiu Jitsu, I’d like to personally wish the entire Gracie family my condolences during this trying time. I have never met a bunch of nicer, more down to earth people than the Gracie family, and all those that train in their schools.

The video below, as explained in the voiceover, is s great example of why Helio had such a profound impact on the world of Martial Arts. It is two minutes of footage from Helio’s world changing fight against Kimura.

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At Yin vs Yang, we feel that humor is one of the best ways to deal with everyday life. Nothing provides more humor for me then my pets. Anytime I’m having a bad day, I simply chill with my cats and dog. They bring a joy to my life not possible to translate into words.  All the late night walks, accidents, vet bills, and annoyances that come with the responsibility of a pet do not come close to matching the joy they provide in life.

With that in mind, enjoy this video of some unexpected, and choreographed, animal clips. Being a pet lover, this definitely brought a smile to my face.

Enjoy the weekend!!!

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This is a guest post written by Nathalie Lussier from Billionaire Woman.

I am currently traveling throughout China, and I decided that I would take a closer look at Chinese medicine. While in Beijing, I had my pulse checked by a traditional Chinese doctor.

What the doctor told me after 30 seconds of feeling my pulse was a revelation!

She could tell from the beating of my heart, whether I was healthy or not. However, she never told me that I needed to undergo more tests, because all she needed to know was whether my body was in balance or out of balance.

Balance

In traditional Chinese medicine, balance is the key to perfect health. Rather than a cold being caused by a virus, as in western thinking, a cold is caused by an imbalance in your body. For instance, you may have slept too little, or eaten too much unhealthy food. All of these things can be solved through the application of different herbs, and every plant has either a yin quality or a yang quality.

Hot and Cold

In traditional Chinese medicine, every food has a temperature: hot or cold. When I first went to visit a Chinese doctor, I was told that my body was too cold and that I should eat only hot things.

Food that is hot includes: meet, nuts, seeds, durian, bananas, garlic, ginger, onions, and other spices.

Cold foods include cucumbers, oranges, watermelon, lettuce, and other fruits and vegetables that are high in water content.

What you eat impacts your balance, such that medicine and food are one and the same. Different people need different amounts of each type of food group in order to keep their own balance in check.

Men and Women

Using the Yin and Yang concept, men are hot and women are cold. This may or may not stem from the fact that men tend to eat more hot things such as meat, and women historically eat more fruits and vegetables. Whatever the case may be, the way that women act and then act also reflects this hot and cold reality. Men tend to be fiery, aggressive, and on the ball. Whereas women tend to be like the waves of the ocean, cold, cyclic, and more emotional.

Neither of these is wrong, or better than the other, we just happen to need a bit of each to make the world work. It’s another piece of the balance puzzle.

Yin and Yang Working Together

Although we have yet to achieve balance on a world scale, I believe that true balance begins within. Once you start eating a more balanced diet in terms of hot and cold foods, your body will return to its optimum state. Once you are a healthy individual, you will begin to look towards the outside and try to balance this reality. Once we have more balanced individuals vying for global balance between men and women, humans and animals, nature and humanity, we will make great strides.

I challenge you to learn more about traditional Chinese medicine, or at least try to balance your intake of cold vegetables with hot foods.

This is a guest post written by Nathalie Lussier from Billionaire Woman.

We all like to eat healthy, but it can be expensive to do so. Below is an incredible list of 10 Tips that will not only keep you healthy, they will save you some money as well.

1. Buy Whole Foods. Unprocessed foods are cheaper and more nutritious than processed foods. They also give you total control over the ingredients. Avoid anything that comes from a box 90% of the time.

• Proteins. Ground beef, frozen chicken breast, tuna cans, calves’ liver, cottage cheese, plain yogurt, eggs, milk, whey, …
• Carbs. Pasta, rice, oats, potatoes, beans, apples, bananas, raisins, broccoli, spinach, cabbage, …
• Fats. Olive oil, fish oil, flax seeds, real butter, mixed nuts, …

2. Buy Cheap Proteins. You need 1g protein per pound of body-weight per day to build and maintain muscle. Eating whole protein with each meal also helps fat loss as protein has a higher thermic effect than other foods.

Keep the steaks & salmon for special occasions. Buy eggs, milk, whey, mackerel, tuna, calves liver, frozen chicken breast, cottage cheese, …

3. Buy Frozen Fruits & Veggies. Unfreeze berries in microwave and eat warm with cottage cheese. Put frozen spinach in a colander the night before and try one of these recipes the next day. Try also frozen beans & broccoli. Benefits:

• Save Money. Often half the price of fresh. Almost infinite shelf life when kept in freezer. And you can buy in bulk to get more discount.
• Save Time. Frozen fruits & veggies are pre-washed and pre-cut, which saves preparation time. Time is money.
• Nutrient Dense. If frozen right when picked, frozen fruits & veggies can contain more nutrients than fresh ones.

4. Buy Generic Food. And store brands. Raw foods like rice, pasta, eggs, milk, cottage cheese, frozen fruits/veggies, … taste like brand name foods once you get used to them. But they’ll save you money on packaging & advertising.

5. Buy Supplements. They’re cheap and make your life easier, however whole food is better. You can use supplements, but make sure the bulk of your diet consists of whole, unprocessed foods.

• Whey. Cheapest protein you’ll find. 1 scoop ON whey is 24g protein/30g serving. At 2 scoops/day, a 10lbs bag will last 10 weeks for $84.99.
• Fish Oil. Cheaper than fish. 1tsp Carlson Fish Oil is 1600mg omega-3. At 1tsp/day, 1 bottle will last 40 days for $23.04.
• Multi-vitamins. Vitamin deficiency is common. 1 bottle AST Multi Pro 32x contains 100 servings and will last 6 weeks for $17.03.

6. Buy in Bulk. Especially when you have promos running. Foods like pasta, rice and oats are easy to stockpile. If they’re on sale, buy as much as you can afford & store to last you until the next sale. More ideas.

• Side of Beef. Not necessarily cheaper, but you have better quality meat. Buying a side of beef gets you 100lbs meat at $3.60/lbs.
• Supplements. You often get free shipping and discounts when buying in bulk. Make a 4 month order for you, friends & family and split the costs.
• Frozen Fruits & Veggies. Check tip #1. Saves money, saves times and nutrient dense. Buy mixed berries, spinach, broccoli, beans, etc.

7. Buy In Season Fruits & Veggies. Food grown in season tastes better and is cheaper. Root vegetables in the Winter. Apples & squash in the Fall. Broccoli & berries in the Summer.

8. Buy Calorie Dense Foods. Whole milk, potatoes, rice, pasta & oats are filling, healthy and easy to stockpile. They’ll help you get your daily caloric needs fast & cheap.

9. Buy Discounted Meat. Grocery stores often discount meats by up to 70% as they approach expiration date. Buy several pounds and store in your freezer.

10. Buy From Local Farmers. Or farmer’s markets. They aren’t always cheaper, but you get tastier & better quality food and they often give you free stuff when you buy a lot.

Working out is something I believe everyone should do.  What type of workout, or level of workout makes no difference.  Everyone has their own starting points.  The key is just to make sure you progress forward at your own pace.

However, the common myth most people have is that working out is only good for your body.  It is actually very satisfying for your mind as well.  Many people discount the mental effect working out has on your daily mood, and this is a mistake.  The mental edge you get from pushing yourself daily is highly worth it.

When you work out, the idea is to push your own body past its normal limits, making it work hard for its own good.  Picture it like an old car in the garage.  You don’t just let the car sit there looking pretty forever.  You have to run the engine and take it out once in awhile so it is less likely to break down.  Well, the same goes for your body.  You need to keep it active or it is more likely to deteriorate.

Not only that, but the same goes for your mind as well.  The more you keep it active, the sharper it will be.  The more you try to use it, the better you will be at doing so.  Such is the nature of life.  This is why working out is just as important.  It is a goal you set each and every week.  When you accomplish that goal, it provides an inner satisfaction just like accomplishing any goal.

Of course, it feels more like a routine the longer you get into it.  That is why, you need to consistently push your mind and body during your workouts.  Your mind plays games with you when you work out.  It can trick you into believing you have nothing left when you do.  On the opposite tip, it can also push your body further than it believes it can go.

The mind is a very powerful tool when working out.  In my opinon, the results may show up in your body, but you are really just working out your mind.  Each day you work out you are seeing how mentally strong you are, pushing yourself slightly past your limits, so that as time progresses, you get stronger and more confident.

In turn, this permeates your everyday life.  Reaching other small goals becomes routine.  Reaching larger goals becomes more realistic. Pushing yourself further than your normal limits also becomes routine.  Remember, the brain is a muscle in itself.  It needs to be worked out as well.

Don’t discount the power a healthy workout routine has on the mind.  It may be just the mental push you need in life.

When I read a title like the one above I always laugh at the finality of it. It makes it sound as if your life will be changed forever into everything you ever dreamed simply by reading this. As if reading something can have that significant of an affect on someone.

Well what if it could? What if I told you that not only by reading this, but by actually following it, you can have anything you want in life? Anything at all. Would you believe it?

Me neither, so I’m not making any drastic promises.

But I am going to tell you that the following, although not much of a secret, can help you achieve any goal you have. I am going to talk about a not so secret key to everything you want in life. It is called ‘Self-Discipline’, something we all could use a little more of.

I feel our education system, and general 20th century culture, killed the reputation of the word ‘discipline’. Discipline became something children had to rebel against in school. Discipline became a trait only necessary for soldiers. Discipline meant doing your chores after dinner. Discipline got a bad rap.

“Self-discipline refers to the training that one gives one’s self to accomplish a certain task or to adopt a particular pattern of behaviour, even though one would really rather be doing something else. For example, denying oneself of an extravagant pleasure in order to accomplish a more demanding charitable deed. Thus, self-discipline is the assertion of willpower over more base desires, and is usually understood to be a synonym of ‘self control‘. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine a best course of action that opposes one’s desires.” ….from Wikipedia

Discipline is a trait that takes time to build. It is built one decision at a time and is one of the tougher traits to obtain. Being disciplined is quite a challenge. As a matter of fact, the best way to build any discipline is to practice it each day. Practice discipline in any way possible. Becoming very disciplined gives you quite an edge in life.

Accomplishing a goal is all about traveling along a path from a starting point until you reach it. The definition of self-discipline mentions that it is “to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine a best course of action that opposes one’s desires.” However, instead of substituting self discipline for motivation, use them together!

For example, let’s say you want to lose weight. You have a number you would like to weigh, and you have the number you actually do weigh. The first day, you are motivated, eager, and ready to go. However, this motivation is fleeting. Within a week, you are not so motivated at the thought of continuing to miss your favorite food. That thought you were holding on to that motivated you in the beginning is starting to fade. You need to change it up by adding in ‘self-discipline.’

Tell yourself you are going to be disciplined. Actually say the word ‘discipline’ to yourself. Remember, that by making the choice of being disciplined each time, you have no choice but to reach your goal. Motivation is great for getting started on any journey, but without adding in self-discipline, your motivation will only last so long. Be prepared for these moments of weakness in advance.

Reaching any goal, in business or individually, is the culmination of many individual choices. Motivation alone will only get you started. It is the incredible combination of motivation & self-discipline that breeds success. Think of it like an MMA fighter.

A fighter doesn’t just get into a cage motivated to fight. A good fighter accepts a fight and sets a regimented training program. They discipline themselves to prepare for the fight each day. They don’t know what they will face each day, but they know they have to face it. By the time they get into the cage, they are so prepared, it is just a matter of trying to execute their plan.

That’s exactly how any of us should attack a goal. Start with a little motivation, but remember, you will only reach where you want to go by adding in the key ingredient of self-discipline to finish what motivation started.

I always speak about the unlimited power of the human mind. With great power comes the need for great control. That’s why the mind is only great if it is used properly. If it is not understood, the mind can create limits that cause the illusion of entrapment.

Our mind is an incredible tool. Think of how many thoughts go through our head as we are reading this paragraph….

Do you like it? Should you keep reading? I read something similar. I wonder what this guy looks like?

All this just in the back of your head while you read. Your mind produces an incredible amount of thoughts per day…

Newsgroup: sci.psychology
"Dr. Deepak Chopra once quoted a study (...) in which the researchers
concluded that the average person thinks approximately 65,000 thoughts
per day. They also went on to conclude that of these 65,000, about 95%
are exactly the same thoughts that [passed] through the minds of
people the day before."

Imagine that. We are prone to the same daily thoughts over and over again. That is why we are creatures of habit. It is our thought pattern. If we can manipulate our thought pattern, we can change. This is what AA is all about for alcoholics and drug addicts. They don’t tell people to stop drinking or using. They tell them they have to change the entire way they think. Every day, from the minute they get up, their thoughts lead them toward their addiction.

We all should be aware of this, because our mind places limits on the things we do. I remember hearing a story about how, by 1954, no one had ever run under a 4 minute mile. Then a young medical student from England named Roger Bannister broke it by less than a second. It took almost 90 years of trying to break the 4 minute mile. It was once thought physically impossible. After Bannister broke it, 9 other men broke the 4 minute mile within 2 years.

Imagine that. Something once thought impossible, is proven possible, and now all of a sudden 9 other people can do it too. Why? The reason is, once the mind knows something is possible, it has no excuse. Our mind can put limits on our physical body because of our thoughts. Our thoughts are not only powerful to others, they are twice as powerful to ourselves. They set the blueprint of our actions throughout our life. They control who we are, what we believe, and how we act.

The first step to controlling your mind is to understand it. Understand the thought pattern it has throughout the day. Be aware of the patterns you will start to see. Try to ‘watch’ yourself as if you were another person. This will help you get a better idea of how your thoughts affect your day.

For example, if you just began driving and every time you see rain you think you are going to get into an accident, chances are, you are going to be at a GREATER risk of getting in that accident. Your body is controlled by your thoughts. When you are driving in the rain, scared, tense, and full of fear, you are not performing at your elite level. You are hampered down by emotion.

Now, let’s try another thought pattern. When it rains, you think of it as a challenge. You know the roads are wet, other cars have less traction, and you need to be at your best. Now, when it rains, your body perks up. You sit up straighter as your senses heighten. You breathe normally, completely relaxed in your mind. You are ready for the challenge. This is performing at an elite level.

If you think something to be true, then it probably already is. The mind is a great power that needs to be used properly. It’s gas is thoughts. In Jiu Jitsu, I used to have a problem when I was smothered. My thought pattern led me to feel claustrophobic. I panicked every time a bigger guy mounted me and smothered my face. However, once I changed my thought pattern, it was no longer a problem. I started to think to myself ‘Winner’s escape from here’. For whatever reason, this simple thought gave me the courage and energy to escape time and time again. It is what I feed on when I face that problem.

Be aware of your pitfalls in business, or simply, in life. Try to observe from a distance and remember that the simple & only way to change your physical actions is to change the pattern of your thoughts.

Thoughts are the gas that fuels our path down the road of life.

It just depends which thoughts you are using. Make sure they are your own, makes sure they are sincere, and make sure they are positive no matter what anyone else says. Remember, the mind is a muscle. Train that muscle properly each day, and it will develop incredible power and control, just like any other muscle.

But unlike any other, the potential possibilities for this muscle are endless.

Most people out there always talk, or worry about how much money they make. They compare salaries for jobs. They get second jobs to supplement their income. They leave jobs to go make more elsewhere. Everything they do in life is based on the final end of year income. How much did that W2 or 1040 claim you made for the year?

Well, I’ve learned that this is the absolute worst way to judge your financial situation. In fact, it doesn’t matter how much you make. Your financial situation has very little to do with your income. It has everything to do, though, with your expenses, or what I like to call your ‘outcome’.

Expenses are the key to getting rich. As Robert Kiyosaki said in his book ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’, the definition of wealth is how many days you can live without working. In order to live everyday without working, you must have more passive income than expenses. Passive income is defined as income you gain without having to do any physical work (i.e. collecting rent checks, music royalties, stock dividends, etc.).

In our education system, they teach us to do well, go to college, and get a prominent job with a great salary. However, let’s look at some of the jobs. Most doctors go to school for umpteenth years, and then get out and have to build their practice. They make nice incomes, but they also usually have very high expenses due to student loans and the cost of their education.

A doctor may make over $200,000 / year. But add in a family, education bills, insurance cost, taxes, natural debt, and everyday expenses, and your ‘Outcome’ is maybe about $50,000/year. Now let’s take a cop. A cop does not have to go to school for that long, if at all. He makes a salary of somewhere b/t $60 -$100k (at least in NJ). That sounds like a lot less than the doctor, but it’s not.

The cop has very little, if any, expenses. Being a cop, he gets a lot of ‘privileges’ and connections in the town. He spends very little money on anything except everyday expenses. He also only works 4 days/week, so he has 3 days to do something else to supplement his income. At the end of the year, he probably had the same ‘outcome’, if not better, as the debt-ridden doctor.

Now, not every doctor is left with student loans. Not every cop is debt free. It is not necessarily the job I am criticizing. I am speaking about the thought process this country teaches in its education system. They expect you to want to go out and make the highest salary, but they don’t teach you anything on how to handle your expenses, how to properly buy a home, or how to balance your finances. They expect you to learn it on your own.

Until a good friend handed me ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’, my financial education was non-existent. I thought you got rich by making the most money every year. I didn’t know anything about passive income, balancing finances, or even what the real definition of being rich is. After I read this book, and countless others like it, I started to understand what it means to be wealthy. I made it my goal to further my financial education every day.

This made my goals easier to choose. It made decisions easier to make. I now had an education to base them on. The one thing that definitely stood out was….it’s not your income, it’s your ‘outcome’. It does not matter how much money you make, it’s how much you keep. Controlling your expenses is the key to getting rich, not your income.

I’m curious about everyone else’s take on the lack of financial education most Americans have. Feel free to comment on any situations you have experienced in your life that may be related. I’d love to start a discussion on this topic so we can all learn a little more…..

For those that check in in the morning, sorry for the late post. I was at a Kindergarten graduation this morning. My mother has owned a nursery school for 14 years. For the last 6 or 7, I have done the end of year video for the Kindergarten graduating class. Today, her latest bundle of joys donned the stage in front of all the immediate family: grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. They sang their hearts out with the help of their teacher’s guidance. The parents applauded again and again.

Then it was time for the video. Let me explain a little about this end of year video. It is a collection of video from 3 days during the year (the first day, mother’s day, father’s day), plus a slideshow of still images from the beginning of the year all the way to the end. It is just like watching the entire year happen right before your eyes. Cue in the heart wrenching music and it is a hit every time with the parents. It makes me teary and I barely know the kids.

However, every year, the video for me is pretty unexciting. It not that I don’t like doing it. It’s just I have done it so many times, it is like an old routine. There is very little to satisfy my creative urges. I am doing much bigger work now, and this is like kid’s work. I have to do the same shots, year after year, with the same music, and the same format for the most part. I film it, put it together, cut up the video parts real nice, add the music, and voila, the video is done. Big deal.

But then I went to the graduation today for the first time in awhile. Once again, just like every year, half the people in the room were crying. The kids were laughing, reliving their kindergarten experience. The teachers were crying too. It is such a touching moment to see people moved like that by something you created.

Afterwards, there were many compliments on the video. I know it is good, but during the routine I always forget about this. I forget that I created a video structure that routinely is a success. I forget what the end moment feels like when the parents wipe the tears of joy from their eyes and hug their kids. I forget because I am stuck in the monotony of the routine. I have done it all before.

Each year this video puts a smile on my mothers face, the kid’s faces, their family’s faces, and the teachers faces. The parents relive their child’s kindergarten experience. The kids giggle their way down memory lane. The teachers remember why they love to teach. And today, I remember why I still love to do this ‘old routine’. I just have to remember the routine smiles, joy, and tears during the ‘old routine’. I have to visualize the success during the grind.

This is just an example, but it works for all goals. I try to think of it like climbing a mountain. During the climb, it may be so rough that you think about quitting, giving up. Is it worth it? However, when you reach the summit, and bask in the glory of your accomplishment, you will thank God that you did it. You will remember it forever. The moment on top of the mountain may be short, but it is definitely worth it all.

I think we need to ‘bask in the glory of our accomplishments’ before we accomplish them. We can use it as motivation. Think about what it will feel like at your greatest moment of success to help you get through your toughest moment of work. Really feel the feeling of how it would be if you succeeded. Let it run through your body. Visualize yourself in that ultimate moment of triumph.

Then take a deep breath, exhale, and remember that in order to get up the mountain it takes one step at a time. Try to let each step be a little easier by remembering the success that their path leads to.