Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

Today, it occurred to me that achieving success in life is a lot like setting up a good arm bar. For those that don’t know, an arm bar is a submission attempt in which you use your body to hyperextend the elbow on someone’s arm. In training, and even fights, the person ‘taps’ before their elbow is hyperextended, unless they are rather dumb, which happens from time to time.

Today I was rolling with a lower belt in Jiu Jitsu. He was a stronger person than me, and weighed about 30 pounds more. I was on my knees in his guard (between his closed legs). He was ripping my right arm with all his strength, desperate to kick his leg over my head and apply an arm bar, similar to the guy on his back in the picture below.

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Now, trying to force a move on someone may work when they are less experienced because they don’t know what to do either. However, when dealing with someone more experienced, it’s a waste of time. This is because, one of the keys to Jiu Jitsu is…

Position before Submission

Before you attempt to apply the arm bar, you must first put yourself in a position to succeed. When my opponent starts pulling my arm, and sloppily wrapping his leg over my head, I immediately know what he is going for. Not only that, but there is plenty of space to escape through. This means my defense will be more successful than his submission attempt. He is trying to force my position, instead of properly setting it up.

The Set Up

After training for a bit, you realize that you must ‘set-up’ a successful arm-bar. You do this by applying the proper grips. Then you place your foot on the hip, rotate, slice your leg over their head, and apply pressure with your hips.  After doing these for a while, you realize the key is the first few steps. By making the first few steps successful, the rest of the move just flows. Once the grips are secured, and the foot is tight on the hip, the person will have a very tough time escaping, whether they know the move or not. Here is the right way to set up an arm bar…

Life is Like An Arm Bar

Life is very much the same. You can not force your way into any position in life. In order to reach your dream position, you must take the proper initial steps. Depending on your goal, it may take a long time, even years to achieve, but it is certainly worth the wait. Remember, it is not the speed that matters, it is the results.

The rest should be as simple as following your plan of action. The proper set up to any plan will make the final steps that much easier. However, if you take sloppy initial steps, your chances of success will diminish drastically, just like my opponent’s arm bar attempt. In fact, you could even wind up in a much worse position then when you started, just like he did.

Whatever you do in life, make sure you take the right steps and do it right. Put yourself in the position to succeed, or take the risk of dealing with the failure.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Friday is Video Day…

Two days ago, at the tender age of 95, one of the most influential martial artists in history, Helio Gracie, passed on from this world.

He is one of the founders of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, also known as Gracie Jiu Jitsu. His list of accomplishments are too long to list. If you are interested, I certainly invite you to check out his Wikipedia page. His story is the stuff legends are made from.

The video up top is an interview from October of 2007. Helio talks about his long lasting legacy and what he considers his greatest accomplishment. As a student of Gracie Jiu Jitsu, I’d like to personally wish the entire Gracie family my condolences during this trying time. I have never met a bunch of nicer, more down to earth people than the Gracie family, and all those that train in their schools.

The video below, as explained in the voiceover, is s great example of why Helio had such a profound impact on the world of Martial Arts. It is two minutes of footage from Helio’s world changing fight against Kimura.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

As many of you know, I train and teach Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) for a Royler Gracie affiliate. All of the lessons I have learned in BJJ mirror my real life. Jiu Jitsu is like a small sample of life’s lessons right on the mat. It is why I always learn a little something about myself almost every class I attend.

At each BJJ class, after warm-ups, a certain move, or series of moves are taught to the class by the Instructor. We call these ‘The Move of the Day.’ The Instructor will breakdown the move(s), showing us the nuances of the technique, and then the students will work with a partner at perfecting it.

Next, the partners will take turns giving some resistance to simulate the move(s) during a match experience. This helps each student see some holes in their technique that they might not have noticed without the simulated resistance.

Finally, after all of that, the students roll (a term for sparring in BJJ) with one another. In my school, it has been common practice to speak up if you are able to pull off ‘the move of the day‘ during one of these live matches. It’s kind of like a bravado thing I guess. It doesn’t really seem to mean anything, accept that you have listened well for the day. However, over time, I have found that it means much more than that.

In Jiu Jitsu, Failure Breeds Success

“Nothing fails like success because we don’t learn from it. We learn only from failure.” –Kenneth Boulding

Being that I get to teach, and watch the progression of white belts, it has become quite clear that the students that rise to the top are the students willing to fail first in order to get better.

These students are willing to risk losing those daily matches in order to try the move of the day. Pride is not an issue because they know they need to gain experience. Other students tend to be too focused on trying to ‘win’ the match, rather than trying to improve. Therefore, they stick to what they know, and they try to win with that. This may work well for the day, but over time, these students will see little progression, if any.

It is pretty clear from my experience that the students who continue to try new things in order to get better initially will fail. They may fail over & over for months. However, they never seem to care. They know they are trying to get better over the long haul, and all of these little battles will mean nothing in the end. It is after all of this failure that I have seen these students all of a sudden ‘get it’. They rise to the top because they have all the experience. They have failed so many times, that they know exactly what it takes to succeed.

The Same is True for life.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” –Confucius

Many of us have goals, dreams, ambitions, and/or wishes for our lives. We grow up talking about them, yet when it comes down to taking the risks, many of us give up rather quickly. We would rather not try, than fail. If we do try, and we fail, we immediately make excuses and give up. I know I have done this countless times over my life.

Just like the BJJ students, without risking the failure, we are not going to get better. Sometimes, even though we know we will fail, we have to do it anyway because the only way to success is through these failures. If you do not try, then you can not fail, but you also can not progress. You will stay stagnant. Some people find comfort in that, but successful people do not. Successful people keep moving, cause either they win, they learn, or both.

I often wonder nowadays why as a society we do not cherish our failures? Why do we not celebrate a person when they fail at something they took a chance on? Why is failing looked at as such a bad thing if it is the only sure thing that leads to success?

The fastest way to success at something is to continually jump in the fire over and over again.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; un-rewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
–Calvin Coolidge

For instance, in BJJ, I can tell you exactly how to do an arm bar, step by step. However, when you try to apply it with real life resistance, there is no way you will get it on your 1st, 2nd or even 10th time. It takes persistent practice in live situations to be able to perfect the technique.

Well, the same goes for our ideas in life. If you fail at an idea, do not quit. Do not stop because you have failed once. As a matter of fact, you should realize that by failing once, you are actually one step closer to your goal. To start on another goal would be to waste the time & effort on the first.

Do not let the fear of failure control your life. If you think it does, then I suggest you take some time to try things you think are impossible. Jump into something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Put yourself through your fear and that fear will be no more. Learn to fail and learn how important it can be to your success.

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am currently a purple belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu. I have been training for over 4 years and I can safely say Jiu Jitsu has changed my life for the better. I have not only become a better Martial artist, but I have become a 1000x better person as well. Jiu Jitsu is a martial art which naturally permeates throughout the rest of your life.

This is because Jiu Jitsu takes persistence, patience, and perseverance to be successful at, just like anything else in life.  Even getting just my purple belt is probably one of the accomplishments I am most proud of in my young life. However, if you don’t train Jiu Jitsu, then you probably don’t understand why. Lucky for you, that’s what I’m here to explain.

The goal of everyone who starts out in Jiu Jitsu is to get a black belt. There is no test to pass, or requirements to meet. There is no specific time period. Simply put, after you pass the white belt level, you only get promoted when your Instructor thinks it is time. It is completely a judgment call. That’s what makes it so special. Getting a black belt probably takes on average about 10 or so years.

Most people never get one.

Being a purple belt, I have met & rolled with a few different Jiu Jitsu black belts. Lou Vintaloro, Tyrone Elijea, Jim Destefano, Joe Lombardo, Rich Dimino, Rodrigo Piniero, Royler Gracie, David Adiv, & Asher Willner (who I saw actually get his black belt). These guys are all different ages, backgrounds, sizes, body types, etc. The only thing that they all have in common is one simple trait:

They never stopped trying.

That’s the only difference. They never stopped training, and eventually, they got to a goal that once seemed impossible.

A black belt is the pinnacle. It means you have mastered your art. You have reached the top level in your field. It commands automatic respect and is a constant reflection of all the effort, sweat, and persistence it took to get there.

I have known 4 or 5 of these aforementioned names before they were black belts. Now that they wear that dark cotton around there waist, you can see the sheer pride reflected in their gait. It’s almost as if they derive power from that belt. The fact that their peers deemed them worthy boosts their own confidence level. They now believe that they are a black belt. They became better overnight, when all that changed was the color of their belt.

Any dream you desire in life is achieved exactly the same way a black belt is.

It takes persistence, but most of all, it just means never giving up. If you don’t stop, then how can you can have possibly failed?

That does not mean it is easy, but it is simple. Just keep going no matter what. No one can tell you how long it will take, or when it will happen. Whatever dream you are after, just start slowly working towards it one day at a time. Some days will be bad, some days will be worse, and some days it will feel like it is all worth it.

However, no matter what kind of day you are experiencing, the important thing is to keep moving forward. If you want to succeed, giving up is not an option. In fact, it’s the only way to actually fail.

Don’t spend your day questioning if it is all worth it, or trying to decide each moment if you are going to succeed or not. That is a waste of time & energy. If you are having doubts, the best thing to do is to either take a break, or just get back to work.

Eventually, if you keep persisting, you will get the recognition you deserve, except probably for the 2-inch wide dark cotton belt around your waist. Oh well, if it’s a problem, I’m sure you can get one of those in the store