Clerk: “Occupation?”
Comicus: “Standup Philosopher!”
Clerk: “What?”
Comicus: “Standup Philosopher! I coalesce the vapor of human experience into a viable and logical comprehension.”
Clerk: “Oh – a Bullshit Artist!”
Comicus: “Hmmmmmm….”
Clerk: “Did you bullshit last week?”
Comicus: “No.”
Clerk: “Did you try to bullshit last week?”
Comicus: “Yes!”
–From Mel Brook’s History of the World Part I

Have you ever been in the middle of a sentence, when you realize everything you are claiming is 100% complete BS (bullshit)?

Well, I have many times in my life. Sometimes I’m saying something I would like to be true. Sometimes it is something I hope, or wish, is true.  Sometimes, I don’t know what the hell it is or where it came from, but it feels like a veiled attempt to sooth my ego as the words leave. I can feel my facial expression change, and I wonder if the person I’m speaking to realizes it.

I know I’m not alone out there.

Bullshitting others is one thing, however, it becomes a real problem when you are not aware of your own ‘BS’. Nothing is worse than talking yourself up in your head. It’s one thing to fool others, and a whole other thing to be fooling yourself.

Over the course of my life, I have made a consistent effort to try and not claim anything that is not true, even if it sounds good at the time. This was further ingrained in my head when I started to take Jiu Jitsu. BSing is completely useless on the mat. Either you tap someone or they tap you.  What is said or thought before matters little once the action starts.

I have found BSing completely useless in life as well.

What do I mean by BSing? Let’s say you and a friend are talking about how fast you can run a mile. He says 7 minutes on average. You know you have never run faster than 7 minutes, but you have never really tried to either. If he can do it, then you assume you probably can too. So, before you have a chance to think, you hear the words as they leave your lips…

‘I can do 6 1/2 minutes easy.’

Now, while that may or may not be true, you have just set yourself up for failure. You naturally wanted to be able to run a faster mile, and believe you can, so you verbalize your emotions. If your friend asks to time you, then you may be in some trouble, as the truth is, because you never have, you don’t know if you can. However, by saying you can, you feel like a winner, at least for the moment.  The problem is…

Humans can smell BS from a mile away.

I would venture to say, that if this story was real, the friend would know the person was BSing right away. Humans tend to have an innate way of sensing other people’s BS. Maybe it’s the way it rolls off their tongue, or the look that envelopes their eyes, or the sudden lack of eye contact.  Whatever it is, how many times have you heard someone say something, smiled, and then muttered under your breath..

‘Yeah, right.’

Don’t think it has not been done to you as well. What I have found, is the best way to get to know yourself, hence personally develop, is to make a firm goal to not make any exaggerated claims, even if it’s just in your head. Whether it’s ‘I will finish that by tomorrow,’ or ‘I am the best at that’, if it is not true, or possibly not true, than your words will have little meaning. If it is true, then let your actions speak, rather then meaningless words.

If what you are claiming is not a firm fact, try this approach. Instead of setting the bar so high for yourself, set the bar low. Your friend says, ‘I can run a 7 minute mile’.  You respond, ‘Really, I think I can beat that, but I have not tried in awhile.’

Or try turning ‘I will finish that by tomorrow’ into ‘I will try an finish that as fast as I can. I’m shooting for tomorrow.’  How about changing ‘I am the best at that’ to ‘I’m usually pretty good at that.’

A simple change in your approach is all it takes to save face. Don’t become that person who just says things to sound good. Nobody respects a person like that. However, think of how much respect you have for someone when they say they are okay at something, and it turns out they are incredible at it.

Changing your expectations does a few things:

1. It gives your words more meaning. Instead of someone who is always BSing, people will look at you as someone who always does more than they say they will. Even though the same outcome may occur regardless of your approach, the person who did not try to ‘win’ with words always is more respected.
2. It puts less pressure on you. Why set the bar higher than it has to be? Why not just leave the bar where it is and try and surpass it with actions instead of with claims? Isn’t it better to say ‘I broke the world record’ then to claim ‘I’ll break the world record’?
3. It helps build your reputation. People respect honesty and a sincere approach. It also helps you be honest with yourself and know where you really stand, not pretend to be where you wish you were. Nothing worse than getting caught up in your own BS, and realizing it half way through your 8 minute mile.
4. It creates the aura of modesty around you. One of the best compliments someone can receive is how modest they are. Think of someone you consider modest and think of the opinion you carry of them. Now think of someone you consider a bullshitter. Which person would you prefer to be known as?
5. It let’s others easily accept you for who you are. Someone who knows their own weaknesses and is modest about their strengths, is a true winner. Let the actions speak for themselves. The reverb from those actions will easily drown out the small whispers of bogus claims.
6. If you are wrong, you still have your dignity. Let’s say you don’t beat that 7 minute mile. If you claimed you would without a doubt, you look like a liar and your words hereafter will have little authority. However, if you responded that you were unsure, but would try, you look like a winner. You met a challenge, tried your best, and let the results speak for themselves. Nothing better than that.

I challenge you to try and become aware of your own words. Try, at least for one day, to not make any claims that are not 100% true. Try to only speak the truth. This is not only to help your reputation with others, but also to help build confidence in yourself. I think you will find the results of this approach to be life changing.

‘On affaiblit toujours tout ce qu’on exagere’ (We always weaken whatever we exaggerate.) –Jean Francois de la Harpe