Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

If you missed the video I posted on Friday with the CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs, I would strongly suggest you check it out.  In the 14 minute speech, Steve drops many pearls of wisdom he has collected over his long, marvelous life.  One of these, however, really hit home with me.  It was the part about facing death, and the incredible motivation it provides.

When I was 18, I was stricken with a very severe case of Crohn’s disease.  It had caused me to lose over 60 pounds in a few months, and took away my life, as I had to be near a bathroom and heating pad at all times.  I was in constant pain, and unable to really function normally as I used to.

I was not given a death sentence, like Steve was.  However, at 18, in the prime of my life, I was told by top Doctors they were unsure if I was ever going to be the same again.  They told me even if I recovered, I may have to wear a Colostomy bag for the rest of my life.  That’s not exactly great news to an 18 year old kid in constant search of a female companion.  It was a very rough time for me.

However, this very rough time really changed my life.

It made me aware of my mortality at a young age.  My entire viewpoint on life changed.  Before that, I was worried about what I thought I should do.  I was attending Business school at the University of Maryland because I, not my parents, thought it was what I should do.  My Dad had recommended following my dreams in film, but I figured I could always do that later on.  At least I would have a business degree, just in case it did not work out.  That’s what I should do, no?

That was my mistake.  Instead of focusing on what I wanted, I was trying to take a safe route, and planning out fallback options. I was worried about what I should do instead of what I wanted.  Getting a job was also a lot easier to see as a path in life, then making it in Hollywood. As Steve said, I could not connect the dots to my film making dream.  There were many areas in that future I could not even comprehend, let alone plan out.  The unknown in life is usually the most frightening to our mind, as it races through all the endless possible horrors.

Until I became aware of my mortality, I was constantly putting off my dreams.  In my head, I was planning my life accordingly.  I would get married in my mid 20, have a kid by my 30s, be rich by 35, and retire in my 40s, wealthier beyond my dreams.  This all sounded great, except, I was constantly hoping, dreaming, & wishing for this life instead of actually going after it.

My excuse became that I would achieve these things in the future.

Well, I ask you, how can I possibly achieve something in the future, if I am not working on it now?  Opportunities in film making do not pop up often for someone working in business for a corporation.  You have to be around film making to get real opportunities in it.  By telling myself I was taking the safe route, I was actually giving myself an excuse to not go after my dreams.

There is no safe route on the road to success.

The road to success is not an easy or heavily traveled path.  It is rough, which is the reason it is so rewarding.  However, most people always talk about being on the path to success, without ever taking the initial steps to get there.  It took a scary lesson in life’s fragility for me to realize I did not have as much time as I think.

After my experiences, my life has changed.  I have become more independent, and less reliant on excuses.  I know there is nothing that is a given in life.  I have come to terms that anything you want to achieve, you must start out by simply going out there and just doing it.  Fail.  Succeed.  It does not matter as long as you are doing it.

In some ways, I was lucky to have faced my mortality at a young age.  It helped me form a new perspective on life.  It helped me to understand…

This is my one shot at life.

Today is my only guaranteed chance.

What am I going to do with it?

I think this is something we should all answer for ourselves.  Ask yourself, what do you want to get out of life and what are you doing about it right now?

Stumble It!

@YinVsYang we always write about the power of the spirit.  Well, tonight, I learned a little more about the spirit world than I ever have before.  As a matter of fact, I was completely and utterly moved by a story my mother told me.  It really got me thinking afterward about all sorts of stuff.

So I figured I would share.

My mother has owned a Nursery School for almost 18 years.  She has had many wonderful Teachers and Aids over the years that I have gotten to meet.  One of those was a woman named Jean, who also happened to have two daughters I went to high school with.  Well, sadly, a few months ago, Jean died of cancer in her fifties, leaving behind her two daughters, a husband, and her own mother.  Being that she was so young, it was obviously very hard on the family.

Tonight, I went to eat at my parent’s house with my wife, sister, and Uncle.  We all caught up a bit, argued about the presidential race, and talked about the upcoming football season for the NY Jets (at least the guys did).  Then, my mother turned to me and said she had an amazing story to tell me I would not believe.

Before we get to the story, let me just fill you in on a little history.  My mother is an avid believer in heaven and the afterlife.  I, for one reason or another, am not that convinced.  It’s not that I don’t believe in anything.  It’s just I don’t see a point in arguing over something none of us will ever live to prove.  Because of this, my mother loves to share enlightening stories with me.

My mom begins by telling me that Jean’s daughters and husband went to an acclaimed Psychic somewhere in Long Island.  Apparently, this Psychic, whose name I do not know, was trained under the famous psychic on TV, John Edwards.  My mother knew this is not something I really believe in, but she said to take it for what it is worth.  I’m pretty open minded, so I went with it.

Well, the two daughters and the husband walked into a room and met the Psychic.  They paid with an untraceable money order, just to be sure there was no way to do any research on them.  The Psychic greeted them and explained that a woman was following them holding the letter ‘J’.  He also explained she was dancing.  The Psychic asked the woman why she was dancing.  He said she responded ‘Because I can.’  The family could not believe it.  This was one of Jean’s favorite answers to give to her friends and family.

The family was impressed, and the Psychic was off to a good start.  However, I privately had my doubts as my mom continued.  Next, the psychic told the two daughters that their mom Jean wanted them to know that it was okay for them to wear all of her clothes and her shoes.  ‘They might be expensive, but they will go to waste otherwise,’ the Psychic told them she said.  Apparently, the girls had had many arguments over this and decided it was best to not wear the clothes.  They could not believe the Psychic knew this.

Then, the Psychic told them Jean wanted them to tell her Mom something.  The family Grandma had been devastated by her daughter’s untimely death.  Jean wanted to let her mom know that every time she cries at her kitchen table, she is right there kneeling next to her.  When the family spoke to the Grandma, she could not believe it.  The kitchen table is exactly where she always sits and cries!

Now, I was starting to believe.  How could this possibly be true?  The Psychic could not have possibly known all of this….could he?

Finally, the Psychic turned to Jean’s husband.  He told him that Jean wanted to tell him that the white feather he found the other day was from her.  She just wanted to let him know she was still there.

The husband must have been freaked at this point.  It turns out that he was watching TV a few weeks ago when something slowly fell out of nowhere from a shelf.  He did not pay much attention to it until later, when he went to pick it up, and found only a white feather.  He did not think much of it at the time, except that it was a little strange to find a feather.

After hearing a story like this, I can’t help but wonder about the spirit world.  We spend so much time working on balancing our spirit in life, I guess it is only natural it should continue on in death.  If anyone has any similar stories or incidents they would like to share, I would be much obliged.  Stories like this always lift my spirit.  I hope they lift yours as well.

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