Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

I just moved into my home office today. It was quite the walk down memory lane if you want to join me. I got to go through some old stuff I hadn’t seen since I graduated film school in 2004. Over the past year, I was running a mortgage company in one of the worst times in the history of the industry. I got in right before things took a turn for the worse and I’ve been trying to tread water ever since.

It was great getting up every morning and going to work at my very own office. It was a beautiful second floor office with a window view of the busiest highway in town. The office was brand new and fitted out by my partner and I. We moved in last November, and just 4 months later, I am moving again. This time into my home, where I have set up an office in a spare bedroom. Ah, what a year it’s been.

You see, I started working as a loan officer when I was getting married and buying my first home about 2 years ago. I didn’t know how to support myself & soon to be wife with my video skills, at least not in the expensive area I lived in. I had a very wealthy friend who introduced me to his line of work: Mortgages. I learned quickly and had some success as a Loan Officer. Last April, I decided it was time to try running my own branch.

I partnered up with a co-worker and we moved into our first office last July. We only had until October to get things running with our new branch company b/c of a short sub-lease with minimal rent. We quickly got on the grind and got a few solid loans in our pipeline. We felt confident enough to hire a salaried employee, our processor. She started on a Monday and had barely finished the necessary paperwork when my email beeped. It was a message from corporate. In 4 days they were shutting down operations and would no longer exist. The nationwide company was closing out of the blue.

I didn’t even know what to think. I had just hired a friend away from their secure job to my new company, and before she could even sign the papers, the company was shutting its doors. The whirlwind shock did not subside until about a month and a half later, when I was finally signed up with another company.

It was now October, and our sub-lease was up. My partner found an incredible office space, and negotiated a deal too good to turn down. Our rent would be increasing, but so would our square footage & our location visibility. We had loans ready to close as soon as we were officially licensed with the newest company.

That occurred in early December. We had just moved into our new office and we were rolling. We had a handful of loan officers, a marketing plan, and we were finally official. We began closing loans ready to count our $$$$$. However, the industry kept on changing. Every day loan programs were eliminated, banks were closing, houses were losing value, and equity was drying up. Solid loans turned to mush over night.

By the time February hit, I realized my overhead was killing me. I had made $25000, but spent $26000. It was ridiculous. None of my rather green Loan Officers ever closed a deal. Plus, the industry was getting worse than anyone thought. I was working all day and night, still unable to make enough money to validate the time I put into it.

I had also started a marketing company called Reimagine with some some friends on the side, so that kept me busy with video as well. I was confused about what to do. Mortgages were no longer worth it. Reimagine was looking very promising and needed more of my attention. However, I had an office with a 5 year lease that I was locked into. And I had my monthly bills, new business debt, and no more reserves. I couldn’t afford to change.

I tried to make the best of it. I thought maybe I could use the office for Reimagine. Truth is, I didn’t need an office at all. Each day, I was slowly burning out, fighting to keep everybody happy: the mortgage company, Reimagine, my wife, my family. Everybody that is, but ME. I had to borrow money to pay my bills. My debt from the business was increasing, and their was no end in sight. I was miserable and I felt stuck.

My new partner in Reimagine reminded me that sometimes people feel like their stuck, but it is only their mind that has created these walls. That got me thinking.

My whole windfall started long before the mortgage company. It started when I graduated film school. It was 9 months after that I made a decision to stop doing what I love and start making money. Now I was stuck in an office lease with a failing business. By focusing on the money, I had completely driven it all away.

How could I get out of this situation? It seemed impossible. But by stepping back and assessing it calmly, I realized it was rather simple. I just decided I would. That’s all it took. I decided to embrace the change. Why fight it? It wasn’t working anyway.

My office is in a prime location, so getting out of the lease I found was not as hard as it initially seemed. I also found that a few years made a big difference in the video market. Video’s are a more profitable business than ever thanks to all the new work the internet has opened up.

Change. That is all that has been constant since my graduation. I learned a lot about myself over the course of my journey. I realized I needed to take that risk I had been avoiding since film school. It’s hard to head out into the unknown. It’s a big change and can be quite overwhelming not knowing where your next paycheck is coming from. However, don’t run from it. Embrace it.

Change is the unknown. I was afraid to leave the comfort zone I had built around myself. In focusing on the money, I had forgotten to enjoy my life. I had blocked out all thoughts of chasing my dreams, and focused on how I would pay my next bill.

There is a very positive side of change. It helps us gain experience and grow as people. Only by accepting change, can we truly move forward in life. If there is never a change, then we are right where we started.

Me, I’m right where I started too, back home. But I have gained a whole bunch of experience. My trials and tribulations have taught me many valuable lessons worth twice the cost I incurred. By accepting all of the changes over the course of my journey as lessons, rather than failures, I have grown tremendously as a person. That is my change.

As I set up my home office and write this blog, I can’t help but smile. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about my new journey. Even the pile of bills under my computer can’t sway my determination. Reimagine is doing better each day, and in time, I am confident I will be able to make a ton of cash and pay all my debts back. Most importantly, it will be by doing something I enjoy. Until then, it’s just about embracing each change the journey brings till I get to my desired destination.