Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

YinvsYang is just now entering its 7th month.  I thought that is a good reason to celebrate.  Maybe I am in the celebratory mood as my wife’s birthday is today (happy birthday babe!).  Either way, it’s a great time to look back on the incredible journey that started with a simple idea.

The first 6 months of writing for this blog have taught me an awful lot about myself and the world around me.  Anytime you have consistent communication with people from various places & backgrounds it seems you can’t help but grow as a person.

Growing as a person means learning plenty of lessons.

When I first started this blog, I now realize I had a certain way of talking ‘AT’ people.  As I read some of the old posts, it is obvious that my personal writing style has evolved.  I’m not saying it has gotten better or worse.  It has just grown into it’s own approach.  Consequently, this way of speaking has seeped into my everyday life because I now have a better understanding of how I may sound to others at times.  It has also taught me the benefit of trying different ‘approaches’ with different people in order to better communicate.

In my opinion, communicating with others is what a blog is all about.  When YinvsYang began, I really did not know where it would go.  I know a lot of bloggers plan & track their growth, and are dedicated to the stats as they should be.  I definitely find joy when I reach a new level of subscribers, or have a particularly strong day of traffic, but for some reason, it is not what drives me with this site. What drives me is the communication.  When this blog first came to be, I barely knew what a blog was.

In fact, the greatest attraction to writing was just to share my thoughts.  I have always found that sharing my thoughts, however embarrassing they may be, benefits me tremendously.  It helps me come to terms with some of my past that I wish I could change.  It also helps me write all of the things down that I want to be.  I can not say I follow everything I write to a tee.  In fact, the reason I can write about self improvement is because I have a lot to improve on myself.  Sometimes writing about a certain subject gives me the strength to improve in that area of my life.

Teaching others is sometimes the best way to reinforce those teachings in yourself.

I also have benefited from getting others to share their thoughts.  For instance, sometimes I write a post, and believe in it whole-heartily as I publish it.  Sounds good to me, I think.  Then one comment from one reader can make me re-evaluate my whole logic.  It is amazing how it opens my eyes to other view points.  It reveals how other people may have a totally different interpretation then I intended.  It expands my perception, and enhances my communication the next time around.

I thought on our 6 month anniversary we would be a bit different at YinvsYang.

This post is not to celebrate a certain number of subscribers we have reached, or any other statistical success of the site.  This post is to celebrate any way our thoughts may have helped you in your life, and all the ways expressing ourselves, and reading your reactions, has benefited us in our lives.  When it is all said and done, that is what I will remember most about this experience anyway.

In light of this celebration, I’d like to share some of the small success that YinvsYang has had recently. One of the people I have ‘met’ through blogging recently bestowed YinvsYang with the honor of putting us in the Top Personal Development Blogs.  There are links to some wonderful, wonderful blogs to peruse in your spare time if you get a chance.

We’ve also recently added a new category here called ‘The Spirit World‘.  This will focus more on the spirit.  It was inspired by the success of this post.  Also, here are some other popular posts we have had at the site for any new readers.

In the Spirit of Getting Out of Debt

3 Practical, Pertinent P’s to Success in Anything

The Joy of Pets

Setting Your Own Pace….Part 2

It’s What You Have, Not What You Don’t

The Secret Edge Of Workout Warriors

Being Courageous in the Face of Fear

The Beauty & Brilliance of the Blogging Universe

Also, just a reminder, check back for part 3 of ‘The Eternal, Internal Battle of Mind vs. Body’.  For those that missed it, here are the links for the 1st two parts…

Part 1

Part 2

Now, that we have taken time to walk down memory lane & celebrate our achievements, I’d like to turn the eye toward the future.  We have a brand new design coming soon that I am very excited about.  We also are looking to improve the site for our readers.  Please leave any and all suggestions in the comment box.  Here are some questions we are hoping to get answers too…

1. What post’s do you enjoy most from YinvsYang?
2. What post’s do you tend to skip?
3. What would you like to see more of from YinvsYang?
4. Are there any other comments, questions, feedback, or suggestions you have to add?

Thanks in advance for helping us make YinvsYang a more enjoyable place to visit.

Yesterday morning I took a Jiu Jitsu class.  My good friend & training partner, Tony, teaches at my school once a week.  He asked the class if they remembered the move he had taught the week before.  Even though many of them were there and Tony tried to explain it, they barely remembered it at all.  I, being the seasoned veteran I am, boldly declared that I remembered the move, which was a guard pass.

Tony picked me to be his dummy and began to review the details of the move with the class.  He was barely two steps into the demonstration when I realized I had forgotten numerous details.  I knew the idea of the move, but as far as the details, I was lost. Thank God I did not have to show it!

I tend to do this a lot though.  I learn something once and all of a sudden I feel I am an expert at it.  However, in order to be an expert at something, you have to have experience in it. When we first learn something, we learn the concept and the basic breakdown of things.  Then, because we have found this new knowledge, we suddenly feel we have no more to learn.  However, what we are forgetting is the details.

The details are what we learn through experience.

For example, when I first started in Jiu Jitsu, like any other competitor, I wanted to tap everyone.  Logical thinking lead me to believe that if I learned how to do an arm bar I would be set.  This, unfortunately, is not how things work in Jiu Jitsu.  Learning how to do any submission is only a tenth of the battle.  The other 90% is getting the proper position before you apply the submission.

Without the proper position, you are bound for failure.  Even better is the fact that there is not necessarily one single proper position either.  You have to learn to adapt your position constantly based on what your opponent is doing.  There can be thousands of decisions and movements in order to actually apply a simple submission such as an arm bar.  That is what I have learned through experience.   The simple fact is I can explain the entire theory, concept, and breakdown of moves to anyone in the world.  Until they have tried multiple times and failed at applying the submission, it would be fruitless for me to think they understood.

I also get to see this with many new students.  Eager for success, they surf YouTube for instructional Jiu Jitsu videos.  Sometimes they find stuff even my instructor has never seen.  They come into class foaming at the mouth, ready to pull their new Ace in the hole on a senior student.   The problem is it never works.  Not once.  No one pulls a move off perfect the first time, especially with limited experience in the sport.  They usually wind up asking for help in learning the details.

The same goes for life.

I believe I can kid myself sometimes into thinking I know more than I do.  The simple fact I have found is I always have more to learn.  Every day, every experience, I learn a little something different.  Or, maybe I learn the same lesson over again, and it reinforces that knowledge.  Whatever happens, each day, as a person, we all grow with knowledge if we allow ourselves to absorb it.

So don’t get frustrated, like I used to, when making the same mistake over and over.  Try to keep a clear mind.  On the mat, when someone is frustrated, their focus drops dramatically.  If they are able to keep a clear mind, and figure out what they are doing wrong, they will eventually succeed.

If you find your frustration is too much to handle, try these steps:

1. Breathe 5 really deep, slow breaths.  Inhale…..inhale again…..then exhale….
2. Release your mind of the blame game.  It does not matter if it is your fault or someone else’s.
3. Take a step back, clear your mind, and try to look at the situation from different view points.  Sometimes our focus on one factor hides the view of another.
4. Understand what phase you are in: you are learning.  Frustration is a part of the growth process, so learn to enjoy it because it makes what you are learning much more valuable.  If it was easy, everyone would do it.
5. Focus on the details.  Sometimes, instead of accomplishing the whole goal, we need to accomplish little steps at a time.  For instance, when in debt, it is better to pay back a little each month, rather than waiting for a day you have the whole sum. Try this approach.  What small step can you accomplish that will get you closer to your end goal?

Breathe, release your mind, step back, understand, and focus.

The goal of success is a long, perilous road where your only guide is the experience gained through numerous trial and errors.  Trial and error is the main concept in nature.  It is why, after re-learning the guard pass, I used it successfully at least 4 times in the class.  I now had the experience in it to be effective.  I understood the details I had initially forgotten.  Tony even decided he would teach every move from now on two classes in a row.  I think that is a great idea, as it gives us a chance to digest the information, and then re-learn it a week later.

This is why people with great minds in life never stop learning.  They are constantly trying to improve their depth of knowledge.  I am going to try and take the same approach.  I need to stop kidding myself, and be aware of what I really do know, and what I may think I know.

Has anyone else noticed this occurring in their own life?

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