This is a guest post written by Nathalie Lussier from Billionaire Woman.

I am currently traveling throughout China, and I decided that I would take a closer look at Chinese medicine. While in Beijing, I had my pulse checked by a traditional Chinese doctor.

What the doctor told me after 30 seconds of feeling my pulse was a revelation!

She could tell from the beating of my heart, whether I was healthy or not. However, she never told me that I needed to undergo more tests, because all she needed to know was whether my body was in balance or out of balance.

Balance

In traditional Chinese medicine, balance is the key to perfect health. Rather than a cold being caused by a virus, as in western thinking, a cold is caused by an imbalance in your body. For instance, you may have slept too little, or eaten too much unhealthy food. All of these things can be solved through the application of different herbs, and every plant has either a yin quality or a yang quality.

Hot and Cold

In traditional Chinese medicine, every food has a temperature: hot or cold. When I first went to visit a Chinese doctor, I was told that my body was too cold and that I should eat only hot things.

Food that is hot includes: meet, nuts, seeds, durian, bananas, garlic, ginger, onions, and other spices.

Cold foods include cucumbers, oranges, watermelon, lettuce, and other fruits and vegetables that are high in water content.

What you eat impacts your balance, such that medicine and food are one and the same. Different people need different amounts of each type of food group in order to keep their own balance in check.

Men and Women

Using the Yin and Yang concept, men are hot and women are cold. This may or may not stem from the fact that men tend to eat more hot things such as meat, and women historically eat more fruits and vegetables. Whatever the case may be, the way that women act and then act also reflects this hot and cold reality. Men tend to be fiery, aggressive, and on the ball. Whereas women tend to be like the waves of the ocean, cold, cyclic, and more emotional.

Neither of these is wrong, or better than the other, we just happen to need a bit of each to make the world work. It’s another piece of the balance puzzle.

Yin and Yang Working Together

Although we have yet to achieve balance on a world scale, I believe that true balance begins within. Once you start eating a more balanced diet in terms of hot and cold foods, your body will return to its optimum state. Once you are a healthy individual, you will begin to look towards the outside and try to balance this reality. Once we have more balanced individuals vying for global balance between men and women, humans and animals, nature and humanity, we will make great strides.

I challenge you to learn more about traditional Chinese medicine, or at least try to balance your intake of cold vegetables with hot foods.

This is a guest post written by Nathalie Lussier from Billionaire Woman.

YinVsYang was created to help shed light on the internal battles we all have on a daily basis, but usually fail to vocalize with others. We wanted to open up our souls, and tell all of the things we silently tell ourselves to the rest of the world. We figured if we think like this, than it must be that other people do as well.

By understanding the way we all function inside, it will help us to better understand other people’s reactions as well.  This helps us immeasurably in our daily lives.  Each time you interact with people, your emotion subsides, and your understanding takes over.  It leaves you calmer, with a clearer mind, and able to think from different perspectives.  Instead of being mad at someone for how they are acting, you turn it around, by understanding their motives.  This gives you the edge.  The person who gets the most emotional is the person who is the most out of control.

So what is the Mind Vs. Body?

With this in mind, I have decided I am going to do a three part series on the Mind Vs. the Body.  I hope that others will join in the discussion in hopes we may all learn from one another’s experiences.  I have found that controlling this internal battle is the key to winning the external war we know as ‘life‘.

I always write about the story of the 4-minute mile.  This short video explains a little more about the story and why it is an example of the MInd vs. Body.

The Mind

The mind is one of the most powerful muscles in the entire universe.  It represents the cerebral part of life, where all of your thought processes take place, such as….

• Dreams
• Goals
• Desires
• Beliefs
• Mood
• Fears
• The Conscience
• Interpreting Emotions & Feelings
• Judgement
• Memory
• Visualization
• Willpower

The Body

The body, is the other part of the equation.  It represents the physical world.  Your body provides all of the communication about the outside world to the mind, such as…

• Temperature
• Perception (sight)
• Taste
• Smell
• Sound
• Touch
• Pain
• Breathing
• Energy Levels
• Health

Spirit

The balance & connection between these two entities make up your spirit.  It is your spirit that drives your daily life.  For example, the mind has dreams and desires which effect which sights, sounds, and any other stimulus you pay attention to.  If you are interested in Jiu Jitsu, and you hear someone speak about it, then you are more likely to stop and listen.

What happens sometimes in all our lives is that one part of this equation takes control and messes up the balance inside us.  You may have a person who is lost in their beliefs, dreams, fears, or past memories, and is unable to function in the physical world.  This can be the story of their entire life, or it can be a small phase.

Or, on the other side of the coin, you have a person that is completely sensual, paying only attention to the physical aspects of life.  They ignore all of their rational thoughts in order to pursue a life of the flesh.  They have decided that feeling good physically is much more important than feeling good inside.

I’m sure, at one time or another, we have all experienced highs and lows like these in each of our lives.  Maybe we let the physical feelings control our mind and our actions, or instead, had our fears override any normal logic. It is in this regard that life is a constant challenge that never ends.  Each of us struggle to balance our mind & body on a daily basis, whether we are aware of it or not.  It is the people who learn enough discipline on both sides of the battle that go on to achieve their wildest dreams.

How Can This Help Me Achieve My Wildest Dreams?

Well, you’ll have to be patient and tune in for part 2.  I guess, this in itself, is your very first lesson in discipline .  But first, I would like to hear any thoughts or stories where you have found (or at least just realized) that your body & mind may have been a bit unbalanced.  The first step is always awareness.

Before we continue, I want you to think about this idea of balance.  See what takes precedence in your life: body or mind?.  Are you a person who follows your emotions &/or fears, wearing them on your sleeve?  Or are you a person who leads a life of the flesh, learns from experience only, and listens to no one but themselves?  Or maybe, you are somewhere in between, like the majority of us?  Either way, it is important to understand how you work before we go any further.

For me, I like to think I do a pretty good job of balancing the two.  When I was younger, I was completely a Mind person.  I was overridden by emotion, fear, and life like most of us are.  As I grew older, I began to understand more about the body.  I began to understand how my body communicates with my mind, and how to interpret what it is ‘really’ saying.  I began to understand that there is a lot more to this balance than I thought.

I also began to understand the dual Power of the Mind and the importance of the spirit.  See you here for part two, if you have the discipline…

…continued from yesterday’s post…

The next lesson on how to better read people is a phrase you have probably heard a 1000 times.

Actions speak louder than words.

This is a well known phrase everyone has heard at one time or another. However, I don’t think people realize how useful it is on a daily basis.  Think of it like this: If actions speak louder than words, than you should be hearing people’s ‘actions’, not listening to what ‘words’ they use.  I have written before about how people use excuses to rationalize what they ‘feel’ like doing instead of what they ‘should’ do.  Think of a dieting person who says ‘I’ve been good all day.  I deserve a snack‘.

Listening to people’s actions helps us because we don’t get distracted by their rationalizations.  We just ‘listen’ to their actions instead, giving us a better read on them.  Once again, we must force ourselves to leave all judgments, expectations, and innate feelings behind.  We must only view their actions as they are.  If someone is a liar, then that’s what they are.  I don’t judge them for it.  I just understand what they are.  When I hear something from them, I know it may be a lie.  I don’t expect any different.  The ‘words’ that they say are inconsequential.  All they do is give you a glimpse of the individual’s personality.

For example, lets say you are dating a girl.  You tell her you will pick her up at 8:30 p.m.  When you get there, you are forced to wait a half an hour for her to get ready.  When she finally comes down, she tells you her Mom needed her help with something and her friend Monica called right as the breaker blew while she was blow drying her hair, etc., etc.  The next time you show up, again you have to wait 45 minutes before she comes down.

Now, there are a few ways to handle this.  You could scream and yell about how rude it is to always be late.  You could leave her house the next time it happens.  You could pressure her to be more on time.  But the smart thing to do is to simply realize the girl is probably always going to be at least a half hour late.  Instead of judging her for it, or worrying about the way she ‘should’ act, try instead to understand it, and use it to your benefit.

The next time you plan a date, tell her she has to be ready by a half hour earlier than she really does.  The point is that expecting people to change to meet your expectations is useless.  Instead, just use the information their actions give you to benefit you.  Don’t worry about what they say at all.  In fact, disregard it.  Just worry about what they do, because actions always speak louder than words.

Judging People Gets You Nowhere

I’ve mentioned this twice before, but it is worth mentioning again.  It is of the utmost importance to not judge others.  Judging others will only cloud your mind.  It will make it harder to read people because you will be allowing emotion to get involved.  Judging others really means that you don’t agree with their actions.  Their actions did not meet your expectations.

Don’t concern yourself with the way people ‘should’ act.  Just worry about the way they do act.  Everyone is raised different, and the world is a big place full of many unique people.  The mixture of many different cultures naturally causes conflicting thoughts, ideas, and customs.  But the truth is there is no right way.  There is a way that you would do things and there are a thousand ways a thousand other people may do things.

If you want to relieve some of the pressure and stress on your mind, then make sure you understand the following:

1. Don’t worry about what people ‘should’ do.
2. Don’t worry about what people say they will do.
3. Only worry about what people do, or have the reputation of doing.

It’s that simple.  Forget about stressing over why someone did what they did.  Every action is a lesson for you.  A glimpse into who they are as a person.  So don’t judge them for it.  Smile at the fact you are getting more information on who they are.  Accept it and move on.

Once again, even though it does help everyone, the point of this is not to benefit society.  The ultimate benefactor is none other than yourself.  No more ‘expecting’ people to do what they should.  No more disappointment when they don’t live up to those expectations.  Instead, you will be smirking to yourself at how habitual human beings are.  Humans penchant for their habits is why dealing with change is the most difficult thing for many people.  A routine is hard to break.  That is why people’s actions are so much ‘louder’ than words.  Words are easy to change, but actions are not.

These lessons are just a few of the major ones I have learned since I have been paying close attention to the way people act.  There are countless others.  Do yourself a huge favor and open yourself up to this world of communication, if you have not already.  It will reduce your stress, strengthen your mind, and allow you to live a healthier life.

Now, that benefits everyone, doesn’t it?

I always speak about the unlimited power of the human mind. With great power comes the need for great control. That’s why the mind is only great if it is used properly. If it is not understood, the mind can create limits that cause the illusion of entrapment.

Our mind is an incredible tool. Think of how many thoughts go through our head as we are reading this paragraph….

Do you like it? Should you keep reading? I read something similar. I wonder what this guy looks like?

All this just in the back of your head while you read. Your mind produces an incredible amount of thoughts per day…

Newsgroup: sci.psychology
"Dr. Deepak Chopra once quoted a study (...) in which the researchers
concluded that the average person thinks approximately 65,000 thoughts
per day. They also went on to conclude that of these 65,000, about 95%
are exactly the same thoughts that [passed] through the minds of
people the day before."

Imagine that. We are prone to the same daily thoughts over and over again. That is why we are creatures of habit. It is our thought pattern. If we can manipulate our thought pattern, we can change. This is what AA is all about for alcoholics and drug addicts. They don’t tell people to stop drinking or using. They tell them they have to change the entire way they think. Every day, from the minute they get up, their thoughts lead them toward their addiction.

We all should be aware of this, because our mind places limits on the things we do. I remember hearing a story about how, by 1954, no one had ever run under a 4 minute mile. Then a young medical student from England named Roger Bannister broke it by less than a second. It took almost 90 years of trying to break the 4 minute mile. It was once thought physically impossible. After Bannister broke it, 9 other men broke the 4 minute mile within 2 years.

Imagine that. Something once thought impossible, is proven possible, and now all of a sudden 9 other people can do it too. Why? The reason is, once the mind knows something is possible, it has no excuse. Our mind can put limits on our physical body because of our thoughts. Our thoughts are not only powerful to others, they are twice as powerful to ourselves. They set the blueprint of our actions throughout our life. They control who we are, what we believe, and how we act.

The first step to controlling your mind is to understand it. Understand the thought pattern it has throughout the day. Be aware of the patterns you will start to see. Try to ‘watch’ yourself as if you were another person. This will help you get a better idea of how your thoughts affect your day.

For example, if you just began driving and every time you see rain you think you are going to get into an accident, chances are, you are going to be at a GREATER risk of getting in that accident. Your body is controlled by your thoughts. When you are driving in the rain, scared, tense, and full of fear, you are not performing at your elite level. You are hampered down by emotion.

Now, let’s try another thought pattern. When it rains, you think of it as a challenge. You know the roads are wet, other cars have less traction, and you need to be at your best. Now, when it rains, your body perks up. You sit up straighter as your senses heighten. You breathe normally, completely relaxed in your mind. You are ready for the challenge. This is performing at an elite level.

If you think something to be true, then it probably already is. The mind is a great power that needs to be used properly. It’s gas is thoughts. In Jiu Jitsu, I used to have a problem when I was smothered. My thought pattern led me to feel claustrophobic. I panicked every time a bigger guy mounted me and smothered my face. However, once I changed my thought pattern, it was no longer a problem. I started to think to myself ‘Winner’s escape from here’. For whatever reason, this simple thought gave me the courage and energy to escape time and time again. It is what I feed on when I face that problem.

Be aware of your pitfalls in business, or simply, in life. Try to observe from a distance and remember that the simple & only way to change your physical actions is to change the pattern of your thoughts.

Thoughts are the gas that fuels our path down the road of life.

It just depends which thoughts you are using. Make sure they are your own, makes sure they are sincere, and make sure they are positive no matter what anyone else says. Remember, the mind is a muscle. Train that muscle properly each day, and it will develop incredible power and control, just like any other muscle.

But unlike any other, the potential possibilities for this muscle are endless.

For those that check in in the morning, sorry for the late post. I was at a Kindergarten graduation this morning. My mother has owned a nursery school for 14 years. For the last 6 or 7, I have done the end of year video for the Kindergarten graduating class. Today, her latest bundle of joys donned the stage in front of all the immediate family: grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. They sang their hearts out with the help of their teacher’s guidance. The parents applauded again and again.

Then it was time for the video. Let me explain a little about this end of year video. It is a collection of video from 3 days during the year (the first day, mother’s day, father’s day), plus a slideshow of still images from the beginning of the year all the way to the end. It is just like watching the entire year happen right before your eyes. Cue in the heart wrenching music and it is a hit every time with the parents. It makes me teary and I barely know the kids.

However, every year, the video for me is pretty unexciting. It not that I don’t like doing it. It’s just I have done it so many times, it is like an old routine. There is very little to satisfy my creative urges. I am doing much bigger work now, and this is like kid’s work. I have to do the same shots, year after year, with the same music, and the same format for the most part. I film it, put it together, cut up the video parts real nice, add the music, and voila, the video is done. Big deal.

But then I went to the graduation today for the first time in awhile. Once again, just like every year, half the people in the room were crying. The kids were laughing, reliving their kindergarten experience. The teachers were crying too. It is such a touching moment to see people moved like that by something you created.

Afterwards, there were many compliments on the video. I know it is good, but during the routine I always forget about this. I forget that I created a video structure that routinely is a success. I forget what the end moment feels like when the parents wipe the tears of joy from their eyes and hug their kids. I forget because I am stuck in the monotony of the routine. I have done it all before.

Each year this video puts a smile on my mothers face, the kid’s faces, their family’s faces, and the teachers faces. The parents relive their child’s kindergarten experience. The kids giggle their way down memory lane. The teachers remember why they love to teach. And today, I remember why I still love to do this ‘old routine’. I just have to remember the routine smiles, joy, and tears during the ‘old routine’. I have to visualize the success during the grind.

This is just an example, but it works for all goals. I try to think of it like climbing a mountain. During the climb, it may be so rough that you think about quitting, giving up. Is it worth it? However, when you reach the summit, and bask in the glory of your accomplishment, you will thank God that you did it. You will remember it forever. The moment on top of the mountain may be short, but it is definitely worth it all.

I think we need to ‘bask in the glory of our accomplishments’ before we accomplish them. We can use it as motivation. Think about what it will feel like at your greatest moment of success to help you get through your toughest moment of work. Really feel the feeling of how it would be if you succeeded. Let it run through your body. Visualize yourself in that ultimate moment of triumph.

Then take a deep breath, exhale, and remember that in order to get up the mountain it takes one step at a time. Try to let each step be a little easier by remembering the success that their path leads to.

Not many people enjoy confrontation. Since I happen to be one of them, I figured I’d shed some light on why. Confrontation to me, is one of the most important aspects to understand & master in life. Without it, we can not move forward. Avoiding it causes us to move sideways, and ultimately backwards. Conquering confrontation allows us to excel in life.

What exactly is confrontation? Oxford American dictionaries defines it as:

…a hostile or argumentative situation or meeting between opposing parties.

Sounds wonderful. So why do I look forward to confrontations? The simple answer is that only through confrontation can you to get a glimpse of other people’s viewpoints and ways of thinking. Consequently, it expands your knowledge. Plus, even simpler than that, most confrontations are unavoidable anyway. Basically, there is no logical reason to wait because your health depends on it!

Many people will do anything to avoid confrontations. One reason is a lot of people are not confident in themselves. They lack self confidence, a key trait necessary to deal with any confrontation. So your first goal is to understand the importance of having confidence to stand up for what you think is right. Even the times when you are wrong, the fact you stood up for yourself still garners respect.

I read recently about a company in California that actually gives out an annual award to employees for ‘the biggest failure with the best intentions‘. They call it the ‘Fail Forward‘ award. This worldwide, multimillion dollar company celebrates people who have confidence in themselves even when they are wrong because they understand it is those people who won’t be wrong too often. It is those same people willing to take risks and go out on a limb who have great success as well.

Have confidence in yourself no matter what because with every wrong comes the gift of an invaluable lesson. After all, wisdom is a product of experience, not knowledge. Armed with this wisdom, you are now ready for the next step:

Dealing with confrontation right away !

Confrontation can occur anywhere. It can be in the workplace, in the home, over the phone, in passing, or pretty much anyplace imaginable. Dealing with confrontation is an art unto itself. It takes time getting used to, but here is why the struggle is worth it: You are dealing with it anyway. In fact, by following this advice, you are going to deal with no more confrontation then you do right now. Actually, you are going to deal with less.

Let’s look at an example.

‘John’ works in an office as a web developer. He is working on a major web project for upper management. The project is due in a week, and John is under the gun. The workload is double than what he originally anticipated when he agreed to the deadline. To make matters worse, his Boss, looking like a child waiting to open her holiday presents, asks every day how things are coming. John nods, gives a ‘thumbs up’ and says things are coming great. He badly wants to impress his boss and disappointing her is not an option.

John is headed now for an unavoidable confrontation. He has to meet a deadline, but the workload makes it impossible. Not meeting the deadline is one option. Throwing together a crappy job with a lighter workload is another option. Either way, though, the boss is going to be disappointed. John has a major dilemma.

How would you handle this situation? Try to place yourself in John’s shoes (or Joan’s for ladies). Think about the stress of losing your job, having to start over somewhere else in a tough job market. If you are an entrepreneur, pretend the boss is a major client instead. Also, think about the human aspects, such as the pressure to succeed from the family at home. All of these things play a vital role in the feeling of ‘pressure’.

Pressure is a product of the mind. There is no actual ‘pressure’. It stems from the stress of not meeting others, or even our own, expectations. We say we feel ‘pressured’ because it physically feels like a heavy weight is on our shoulders and we don’t know how long we can hold it. Communication is the only way to make that ‘pressure’ disappear.

What John needs to do is confront the boss. He needs to tell him the truth from his viewpoint. ‘Hey, Ms. Boss, I am sorry but I have a dilemma. The workload on this project is double than what I anticipated due to the growth of the site since the deadline was set. In order to exceed everyone’s expectations and come in with the best possible product, I am going to need more time. If more time is not an option, than I am going to need help brainstorming some ideas on how to accomplish meeting this deadline.’

By laying out the facts as is, John has alleviated all of the pressure. He has made no demands, but instead has laid out the only choices he sees in front of him. His attitude suggests he is looking for advice, not being defiant, lazy, or careless. The boss can answer him ‘too bad, meet the deadline or you are fired.’ The boss can suggest some ways to help speed up the process. The boss may say she will work on extending the deadline. Whatever the response is, you are still coming out on top.

If the boss tells you ‘too bad, meet the deadline or you are fired,’ it may not feel good at first, but it should. Your boss has just given you invaluable information. Her response has communicated to you that the most important aspect of this project is the deadline. If that is the case, then that narrows your options down to one choice: throw something together and do whatever you have to to get it done. Obviously the scope of the project is not the priority. The deadline is.

Confrontation is a necessary form of communication.

If John were to wait all week, trying to finish up something he knows is not possible, he is wasting his own time. He is headed toward the same confrontation with his boss of not being ready on time. However, this time the confrontation is going to take place the day of the deadline. That puts John in a very weak position. The boss expects a completed project and has no other reason to think it is not going to be done. The disappointment is going to be triple for the boss, and she has no time to do anything about it. No explanation is going to be good enough now. It is too late.

This small example obviously does not mirror every confrontation. There are countless examples out there. Every single situation is different in one way or another. However, there is one common solution for handling any confrontation. HANDLE IT NOW. Right now. No need to wait. Get it dealt with and move on. Lingering confrontations can handcuff you mentally, make you physically sick, and bring on depression.

Picking the time to head them off and get them out of the way alleviates stress, reduces pressure, and gives you more control of the situation. Don’t wait for the inevitable. Have confidence in yourself and handle it now before it is too late. It may be scary at first, and scarier during, but afterwards you will treasure the relief of moving on.

Understanding the way humans communicate is an essential key to social life. We all have to interact with others in one way or another. This makes confrontation a natural part of life. Arguing is a way of expressing bottled up emotions that are silently lingering in our body. Communicating them to each other helps us move forward, so don’t be afraid of an argument. As matter of fact, look forward to them. Because open communication is not only a product of confrontation, it is also the solution to reducing it in the long run.

When I went to film school, one of the biggest things I had to deal with was how to properly take open criticism. It is not easy when an entire class gives you pointers on something that took you 5 months to write. Some will say they don’t like it, others will be more specific. But how do you know what is right?

Ego plays a bigger role in all our lives then we would like to admit. We all have different levels of Ego and it affects our every action. One of the toughest things I have noticed for people to do is to properly take criticism. People can get defensive, annoyed, distraught, hopeless, and all sorts of terrible feelings from just a simple piece of criticism. So today, we are going to learn a few simple ways on how to take criticism.

STEP 1: File it Away Unless You Hear it 2x.

This step is simple. One of the things I learned during my four years in film school is how to file away criticism. Let’s take a simple example. Pretend I wrote a script about a boy who rides his bike for the first time and brought it in for a class reading. After the reading, a girl responds that she thought the boy achieved his goal of riding the bike too fast. He only fell once, and after that it was okay. She claims that this did not sit well with her.

My rule of thumb for all criticisms is if you hear it once, simply file it away in your head. However, if during another class reading (or even the same one), someone says something similar, well now it’s time to take that criticism out of the filing cabinet and deal with it.

If one person tells you they don’t like something, so what? But if you hear it more than once, it is probably true. It does not mean you are wrong. It just means that people are interpreting something differently then you are. That’s it.

STEP 2: Always listen, accept and digest.

Because of our ego, sometimes criticism takes a while to settle in. It is not our fault. Picture it like a big meal. You just need time to digest. Until that meal is properly digested, you are not going to fully appreciate it. The reason is we can sometimes hear a criticism that maybe we kind of knew was coming. Or we hear something we thought might be brought up. Due to the anticipation, our ego automatically defends our decision.

But the important thing is to always digest the criticism. After all, it is just a critique. It is not law, or a judgment. It is simply someone else’s interpretation of your work. Sometimes we just need a few moments to let the emotion subside, and think clearly about it in our heads.

STEP 3: Picture yourself in their shoes and be open.

Have you ever been on the opposite end? Giving criticism is not so easy either. People tend to walk on egg shells because their last intention is to hurt someone’s feelings. They actually intend to help. Remember this when you are taking criticism. They may be helping, or they may not. But their intentions are good.

Don’t sit their with a stern face, staring through their soul as they speak their words. Smile, relax and take it for what it is worth. If you are not open, then a person may hold back. No one wants to be told something is perfect if it is not. Make them comfortable, and get everything you can out of it

…Follow these simple steps on taking criticism, and watch your work improve drastically. Remember, criticism is not a judgment. It is simply necessary to push ourselves in the right direction. Their is nothing more valuable then understanding how people will interpret your work. Instead of fighting the criticism, take that energy and work with it. Make sure you get over the emotional attachment and listen. You may be surprised just how much better that work becomes.

I saw the only rational method of art criticism I have ever come across … “Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.” The mortality among pianists in that place is marvellous.

-Oscar Wilde, Impressions of America, 1906

I have a habit I started in the gym a long time ago. It developed from my family consistently teaching me to push myself. Eventually, this habit of constantly seeing if I can beat my own expectations came about. It is one of the best habits I have.

It probably comes from my competitive nature. I am so competitive that I even compete against myself! But the truth is, this is the best thing we all can do for ourselves, especially when working out. Keeping fit is a challenge in itself, but don’t get caught up in what other people think. Don’t get caught up with anyone but yourself.

What I’ve noticed from training with so many people is that a simple exercise class can have a different affect on everyone. That is because not everyone gives the same effort. Now, sometimes there are external factors such as an injury, sickness, or just a bad mental day. However, excuses aside, it is important for each of us to realize that it is not what others think we are doing. It’s what we think.

Have you ever gone to the gym with a partner that likes to work hard? So each exercise, because your ego does not like to be outdone, you give an amazing effort like never before. At the end of the day you feel like a new person ready to fall over. Then, at your next workout, you team up with an average partner. One who does just what they are supposed to and not a single ounce more. Turns out, that after working out with them, you did not get the same workout.

Now, is it the partner’s fault? They are an easy target, but the answer is ‘No’. It’s your fault. You have chosen to be a follower rather than a leader. The most important thing when working out is setting your own pace. It does not matter if anyone notices or what they think. You could be all alone working out on an island, and still be able to know what pace you have to attain.

Don’t wait for others to set your pace. Don’t wait for others to watch you in order for you to give your best effort. On the other hand, don’t feel compelled to catch up to someone else’s pace either. The only competition you need to be concerned with is yourself. Pay attention to what’s going on inside YOU.

After all, there should be no tougher competition out there.

My wife relentlessly works out the last few years. She started with simple walking, then moved on to jogging outdoors, then running on a treadmill, and now has progressed on to weights & exercise videos. For awhile though, she was strictly a walking/running enthusiast. She was not interested in any other kind of workout. But eventually she realized she needed to do more.

The reason is because her body had adapted to her regular exercise routine. It had gotten used to the running, so doing it four times a week was no longer a work out, it was a habit. When my wife finally started to explore other workouts, she began to see amazing results in her body. Her muscles started to take shape all through her arms and legs. She was sore for the first time in a long time but it paid off in her figure.

The reason she started to see success is because of the change up. A lot of us get into a routine with our workouts. We have the same weekly plan we have been doing for months on end. When you first started the workout, I’m sure you noticed some nice results. However, as time moves on, the results became less and less noticeable. This is because the human body is quite resilient.

The human body adapts to almost any situation for survival. If you begin running 2 miles every day, eventually running two miles will not do anything for your body. It will be used to the routine. This can play an important part in planning out your workouts. It is important to change up the routine so your body never gets used to the workout. This will help you get the most results out of each workout.

In jiu jitsu, wrestling, and swimming, for example, you never get the same exact workout. That is because it is impossible. When you wrestle or do jiu jitsu, you never know where the match will go because every match is different. Therefore, in each separate match you stress different sets of muscles. In swimming, the water is always moving differently so each stroke, especially for beginners like me, is slightly different than the last. Also, all of these activities incorporate the entire body, which also helps increase variety.

I am not big on weight training (although I love Kettle Bells), but even that requires a change up. Instead of doing the same bicep exercise, you switch it up by using different bars, grips, and ranges of motion. Working out is all about pushing yourself little by little. Each time you push further, your body thanks you for it shortly afterwards. Only changing up your workout will give you the extraordinary results you desire. I recommend changing up your routine at least every 4-6 weeks. The benefits will begin to show immediately.

Just ask my gorgeous wife.

Last Thursday, I received my purple belt in Gracie Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It was quite an accomplishment for me. For those that don’t know, the belts in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu go (from low to high): white, blue, purple, brown, black. Getting a purple belt usually takes 3-5 years (took me 4), if you stay consistent and progress. The cool thing about Jiu Jitsu is there is no test to get any belt. You just are ready when someone tells you you are. So getting a purple belt is quite significant because most people don’t ever get that far.

It took a little while for it to sink in, but one of my close friends who also got his purple belt brought it up to me. He remarked how it had been quite a journey. Recollecting, we talked about all of the people we had seen come and go for various reasons. All of them could have been as good as us, if they had only stuck with it. It’s funny too b/c these people will return to the school once in awhile. They smile, and talk about how much they miss it. They bring up the excuse that is keeping them from coming. Then, they sit and watch. You can always tell how mad they are that they did not keep up with it. They know, as well as we do, that all they had to do to be where we are at is to keep going.

Keep at it. That is the lesson that popped in my head. Many people never give themselves a chance to succeed. They look for short term glory and lose their drive shortly thereafter. People tend to not look at the big picture. In order to be successful at something, you have to be doing it. If I want to be a successful film maker, I can’t just think I will pick up a camera and be him. It takes years of experience. The business world is all about competition. And do you think you have a chance competing against someone in your field for 10 years on your first try? Chances are, you do not. It takes patience, persistence, practice, and perseverance to succeed at anything.

Hoping for short term success in anything is simply short sighted. That goes for anything from playing a sport, to playing the stock market. Experience is the only way to gain wisdom. If you have short term success, all the better. But looking for it is not the way to go. That’s like getting disappointed every time you don’t win the lottery.

The purple belt was a great compliment to everything I’ve done in BJJ. It’s nice to have something to look back on. I worked at least 3-4 times a week for almost four years to get to the level I am at. There were many ups and downs, but I stuck with it nevertheless. I hung my blue belt in my new office to remind me of this through the ups and downs of my new business.

Whether going through the ups, or dealing with the downs, the important thing is to just keep moving forward. After a while, you will have a lot to look back on.