Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

My family always taught me there are 3 major ingredients to success.  When I was younger I listened to the words, but they never seemed to sink in.  As I grew older, and life opened up to me, I realized these elements had a direct correlation to my success in anything I partook.

The definition of success can be different for everyone. The important part is that YOU and YOU alone are the judge of your success.  When you look in the mirror every morning, it is only you who knows if you are successful or not.  There are so many ways to be successful and even more ways to get there.  However, even with all these differences, it is the same three P’s that are needed on every journey.  No matter what your definition of personal success is, it is important to understand these elements if you want to see the big picture.

The big picture is important to visualize while taking care of the minor details.  Taking care of the details can seem monotonous.  They may even seem worthless at the time.  I know also, on many days, the end goal may look further away then it ever has.  It is on days like this that keeping in mind these three P’s will help you tremendously.

These are not groundbreaking, or secretive tricks that will change your life. They are simple terms that describe the character needed to be successful in anything you do. Understanding these terms is only a start.  Putting them into action is the only way to see their true benefits.

Patience

Everyone wants to achieve their goals ASAP.  I equate this to when I began stretching.  When I first started, I used to sweat bullets trying to touch my toes.  I had tight hamstrings, and a tight lower back.  I was too impatient to wait for my flexibility to increase.  I wanted to touch my toes NOW!.  For years, my flexibility did not change one single iota.

It was only after I learned the futility of this, that I began to increase my flexibility.  Stretching is not about the end goal (touching your toes), it is about the journey.  Reaching the toes is something I will accomplish by making small progress each day, not something I need to accomplish right NOW.  In fact, unless I continue to stretch every day, I will never reach my goa.  This thought relaxed my body by relieving me of the pressure to touch my toes.  By learning to be patient, I was actually moving quicker toward success.

Patience, something I was sorely lacking as a youth, is the number one ingredient to success.  It allows you to focus on the task at hand, rather than the big picture.  Understanding the big picture is important, however, focusing on it solely will cause you to mess up the important details.  Think about it: You start out a big painting with just one stroke at a time.  Patience is what helps you focus on that stroke instead of rushing past it trying to get to the end result.

Persistence

Part of any successful journey is the element of failure.  Life is learned through trial and error, and that is still our greatest teacher.  On the way to a goal, we may fail over & over again until we reach success.  Having patience is one thing.  However, keeping at something is what makes you great at it.  Learning from your failures is a big part of the process.  If you quit after one failure, you will never get where you want to.

Persistence is defined by Oxford American dictionaries as “firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.”  This means that no matter what you face on your journey, you simply stay the course.  No failures, obstacles, or anything else will cause you to give up hope.

Persistence is the one ingredient in success that prevents failure.  If you persist, it means you have not given up.  If you have not given up, then your goal is still possible.  It is only when you stop persisting that failure becomes a reality.

Perseverance

Persistence and perseverance are closely related.  Perseverance is defined by Oxford American Dictionaries as “steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in doing so.”  The difference between the two closely related terms, in my opinion, is actually your own expectations.

Being persistent is about not giving up after a failure.  Perseverance is about not giving up even when it seems like you should.  It is about continuing forward even when the odds are against you, and everyone is telling you it is impossible.  This is where belief in yourself and your ability to achieve your goal comes in.   Believe in yourself and you will persevere.

Many great examples of perseverance can be found in successful sports stories:

1. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
2. Jerry Rice was considered too slow a WR.
3. Randy Couture was too old to win another UFC title.

The list goes on and on.  In fact, every success story has the part where the successful people thought about giving up.  If they never persevered on, they would not have been successful.  So the next time it seems all hope is lost, try looking at the situation like a great story waiting to be told.

Patience, persistence, and perseverance, are three keys to achieving success in any goal. Success can be a long, rough, dark road with many obstacles. Take your time, stay your course, and never, ever give up.

If you don’t give up, how can you possibly have failed?

Stumble It!

About 6 months ago, I decided to give up on my miserable, failing mortgage branch.  I could have got a job somewhere to try and pay some of my bills but I was saddled with so much debt, I figured I might as well go for it all now.  Plus, chasing money got me into this mess in the first place.  I needed a change.

I had graduated film school only to wind up in the mortgage business trying to pay my bills.  Lucky for me, I met my future partner, Chris, through a fellow friend and broker.   Chris offered me the opportunity to get back involved in video, something I always wanted in the first place but was not ready to go after myself.  This was my chance.

We decided we would start our own media production company.  It would be our dream company tailor suited to fit all our needs and desires so we would be able to produce the most amazing work around.  That would be our key to success.

This all sounded great, but it took months to figure out the details.  In this time we discovered who we were through months of research, arguing, trial and error.  We went in one direction, only to circle back to the original direction.  However, we just kept on going.  We even started this blog to track the experiences on our journey to build our dream company.

What exactly is a dream company? Well, for us it had to encompass…

1. Only doing what we were passionate about.
2. Free time every week to spend working out, on personal projects & with our families.
3. Something that would not tie us down to one particular location.
4. Something with multiple income streams and the ability for passive income.

Again, this list was tailor suited to fit for our needs.  For you, it may be different.  However, I would recommend #1 be on everyone’s list.  Doing what you love is something I can’t stress enough.  We never know when our time may be up, so it is important to get the most joy out of every day.  Doing something for money definitely helps in the short term, but long term, I have found it drains me mentally and is actually harder.  Doing something I am passionate about starts out hard, but gets easier every day.

My partner is extremely adamant about being passionate with his work.  It reflects in the quality he provides and has thankfully trickled down to me as well.  What I have learned from him is the quality of work is incredibly valuable in ways you can not even imagine.

For example, one of our first video projects was a commercial we did for my Jiu Jitsu school.  We did it with a $500 budget, and we worked on it for FREE.  That’s right, for FREE.  Not only that, but we also did a $5,000 website for FREE as well.  We basically gave my friend four months of our hard work for NOTHING, and we did it with a smile.

Because we were passionate about what we were doing, we excitedly challenged ourselves to reach a level we had never achieved.  Even when I thought we went far enough, Chris kept pushing.  We were not getting paid, but at least the work might sell itself.  We accepted the risk and managed any personal bills through various side jobs just to make it work.  By June, we had our first commercial complete.  We had the website up and running.  We also had no money and no work in sight.

July was the toughest month for me personally.  I was in desperate need of cash.  I was questioning how much longer I could go on like this.  Everything I was doing felt right, but I was not seeing any financial return.  Nothing.  For a man, I don’t think there is a more inadequate feeling than not being able to pay your own bills.  Times were really rough with no possible end in sight.

Then, in the course of one week, things suddenly changed.

Our commercial started to make some noise.  Suddenly, I had two other Jiu Jitsu schools calling for commercials.  I also had another school calling for a website.  Plus, on top of that, another person called us to do a National commercial.  I could not believe it.  In a mere week, we were suddenly swamped.

But it did not stop there! The work kept on coming in.  After getting those 3 commercials, we also got a huge Web project in a field we love: MUSIC.  We were ecstatic about the project, not to mention the price tag it came with.  By only doing what we love, we have attracted even more work that we love to do.

Only this time, it pays even better!

Starting out on this road has been a challenge all the way through.  Everyday, I still get up and have to manage my debt day by day.  I have to sometimes borrow, finagle, work a side job, or do whatever I can to get by.  However, 6 months in and I can taste the possibilities.  I can see that it is definitely all worth it in the end, if I can just make it there.

Starting any business is not easy, so why not pick one you really like to do?  Even if you can’t see how the money will come, it is okay.  Neither could we.  Sometimes you have to head blindly on instinct and just have faith.  I know this is not easy.  I’m here to tell you, it most certainly is not.  In fact, it is quite hard.  I imagine if it was easy, everyone would do it.  I have found the biggest rewards in life usually come from traveling through the toughest roads.

Don’t be afraid to go after what you want.  In fact, be afraid to NOT go after it.

I am telling you, and my partner will attest, all it takes is passion, patience, and persistence.  You can have anything you want if actually set your mind on it.  That is not just some garbage a parent tells their kid.  That is the utter, and deepest truth I have learned in all my life.  I truly believe there are no circumstances, obstacles, or tribulations that humans can not overcome.  My experience has taught me to ignore all possible excuses because…..

I am the only one to blame.  I am the only one who can stop me from achieving my dreams.  If I do not stop, how can I ever have failed?

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Since the first scribblings of communication were drawn in a dark cave long ago, writing has been a therapeutic way for man to release his inner thoughts.   This ancient therapy has been around for a long time, but never has it been easier to write than today.  We have access to computers, phones, recorders, and all sorts of technologies that allow our inner creative juices to be captured.  However, to me, a simple notepad and a pencil is all you really need.

Writing is something many of us don’t do enough of.  I am not only speaking of keeping a diary, or just fiction writing, or any other one form of the art.  I am speaking of writing however you feel is best.  Maybe a blog, or a diary, or a movie script, or a song, or even a poem is your cup of tea.  Whatever form you choose to write in is perfectly fine.  It still has the same beneficial effects.

I personally find that writing this blog helps me each an every day.  I get to spend a little ‘alone‘ time writing about my past.  This gives me a chance to sit here and think about lessons and times I may have forgotten about long ago.  It gives me a chance to revisit parts of my life from a non-objective point of view and most of all, it helps me relax.

Writing can help in many ways throughout your day, so I’ve started a list for us.  I could use your help to continue to add to the list.  Simply leave a comment below with any of the ways you feel writing helps you that I may have forgotten.  Now for my list….

Reflection

Writing gives us a chance to reflect on our past, present, and even future.  The time alone with your writing tool lets you think clearly and uninhibited.  Reflection helps us grow, learn, and move on from our past.

Structure

Any form of writing forces you to structure your thoughts.  This helps strengthen your mind.  Structuring thoughts and organizing words on paper (or screen) helps you learn the best way to communicate.  Simply by forcing yourself to structure your thoughts, you are helping set up a structure for thinking in your head.

An Outlet

Writing is a great way to get things off of your chest, even if nobody else ever reads it.  It helps you tell the story to yourself, allowing you to learn from your past, and come to terms with your humanity.

Memory Enhancement

Even taking notes is a form of writing.  Writing something down gives you a much better chance of memorizing it.  Our mind has an easier time logging the things we write than the things we hear.  Therefore, I also use writing to help myself remember important facts and learn new things quicker.

Amusement

Writing is a creative outlet that allows you to go wherever you please.  Writing funny stories, jokes, quotes, or even one-liners is a great way to amuse yourself, and others if you are comfortable enough sharing.

A Challenge

Nothing is a greater challenge than creating a new habit.  Writing daily is definitely a challenge.  It is very easy to say, well, ‘I have nothing to write today’.  But, of course you do.  Anyone could write whenever they want.  There is no judge, no length, no format or any other kind of restriction.  Writing is good for you, so enjoy the challenge.  Don’t let the challenge get to you either.  Simply put the pen on the pad (or the finger to the keyboard) and see where it takes you!

Lasting

Writing is something you can save and review whenever you desire.  It is a great way to remember your state of mind during the past as well.  I have some old notes my wife sent me when she was in her mid teens.  They are about absolutely nothing, but I treasure them for their ability to transport me back to that time.

Measure of Growth

Continuing on the idea of reviewing writings from long ago, they are also a great way to measure your own growth.  Reading something from a younger state of mind always brings a smile to my face.  It’s amazing the innocence, ignorance, and humanity that comes out from looking back on your past writing.  It also reveals your own growth as a person, and allows you to wonder, ‘was i really that stupid?‘

Self-Fulfilling

Nothing is more self-fulfilling then all of the items mentioned above.  Giving yourself an outlet to reflect on your past helps you grow as a person.  Meeting a challenge helps build confidence.  Structuring your thoughts helps you communicate better.  Reviewing your writing is an amusing, lasting way to help measure growth.  And all of these things help fulfill our soul as a person.

Please add to the list some of the ways writing helps you by leaving a comment…..