YinvsYang

A few days ago, I wrote about the importance of setting your own pace in the gym (here). Today, I am going to follow up on that idea, but instead of the gym, we are going to talk about life in general.

The main point of the original piece was to teach you to focus on your own pace, and not on someone else’s. This translates into everyday life just as well. Many of us have ambitions, goals, and dreams that are not workout related. Just like a workout, however, we usually put in a little effort each day towards these goals. And just like my last piece, many of us get caught up in other people’s paces as well.

How many of us have read the success stories of others trying to accomplish similar goals? I can relate it to movie making. When I graduated film school in 2004, I immediately (and unknowingly) put these lofty expectations on myself. Others before me, such as Scorcese, Spike Lee, George Lucas, Francis Coppola, and many others had jump started their careers out of film school. So when I graduated, I knew I had my work cut out for me.

What happened though, is my expectations got the best of me. Instead of taking things one step at a time, I immediately set out to write the greatest screenplay known to mankind. I had written one or two garbage full length screenplays before that, but it did not matter to me. This time I was going to write one of the top 5 screenplays of all time. It was going to be so good, I was going to get noticed, get funding, get hired to direct, and jump start my destiny as a movie director. All I had to do was write it.

Sure, it sounded great, if a bit unrealistic. But shoot for the stars, and hopefully you at least hit the moon, right? Wrong. What happened was I obviously could not write a top 5 screenplay. I did not have the experience, nor the life experience to really write something phenomenal. I wrote a script (actually 2), but it just didn’t flow right. Something was wrong.

All of a sudden, my plan was shattered. What was I to do now? I couldn’t be the superstar movie maker I wanted to be. I had a wife to support. I had bills to pay. I guess I need a job and that is how I got into doing mortgages. The money was easy to see. Close this deal and you get paid.

What I realize in hindsight, is my expectations killed me. I was trying to match the incredible pace of a film prodigy. Do you know how many young writer/directors make it in Hollywood? Not many. But I automatically expected it to be me. Now, there is nothing wrong with hoping for that to be, or for working toward that goal. However, expecting it to happen or if it does not, then to consider myself a failure, is absurd.

I had picked a ‘pace’ that only the most gifted people in Hollywood history had attained. How could I naturally expect that to happen? How could I say it’s either this pace, or no pace at all?

Well, what I learned is that everything comes in due time. You don’t just jump into the best of anything. It takes persistence, patience, perseverance, and a positive mind. I did not want to climb up the mountain. I wanted to leap right up to the top of it. How realistic is that?

Looking back on this, I realize that rushing into anything causes problems. Everything happens in due time. Set your own pace, and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing. There is a reason that the tortoise wins the race against the hare in that famous children’s story:

Persistence, patience, perseverance, and a positive mind.

Make sure you have the same outlook or you may be setting an unrealistic pace, which is the same thing as setting yourself up for failure.