The other day I was watching television and I saw a 3-legged dog. I am an avid animal lover, so I immediately felt bad for the dog. However, the dog seemed not to have a care in the world. He went about his day happily on 3 legs as if that’s exactly how his life was meant to be. We could all learn a lesson from this 3 legged dog.
The lesson is to relieve ourselves of the burden of expectation. It is a burden that we not only carry ourselves, but we actually put it there in the first place. Let’s take the dog for example. This beautiful animal could have lived a depressed life knowing that other dogs have 4 legs and he has only 3. He could of thought of all the great things he could have done with 4 legs. Except, lucky for him, he is a DOG! And dogs don’t have the ability to create expectations like these. For the dog, he knows he feels as good as he can, and that is all that matters. He will learn to adapt and live with 3 legs, never even remembering he had a 4th.
I am guilty of this all the time, as I am sure you are too. We all have a habit of putting these lofty expectations on ourselves: I am going to be Rich, I am going to be great, I am going to be the best!
Then, when we fall short of these high expectations we blame others, blame ourselves, or do anything to make an excuse, because we did not meet the expectations WE set for ourselves. Now, you could say to just set reasonable, lower expectations, and that is pretty good advice. However, here is better advice: SET NO EXPECTATIONS!
That’s right, set no expectations for yourself on anything you do. Just set goals. So today is Monday and you start a fresh week. I am lifting all the burden off of your shoulders right NOW!
Poof! All thos expectations you had for this week are now gone.
Now you can start your week fresh. Instead of expecting where you will end up, concentrate on the small daily tasks you can do to get there. Forget about the big meeting, or the big test. Forget about the outcomes. Just concentrate on each task leading up to the outcome. That is the secret to success.
This is great advice for work related issues, but what about health? What if you are like the dog and suffer from an ailment you never expected would happen to you? I give the same advice to you: REMOVE YOUR EXPECTATIONS. Yes, you expected to be healthy and you are not. So now you have a new challenge in front of you. It is what it is, you just have to come to terms with it.
I suffer from Crohn’s disease so I am not someone writing a blog who has never had to deal with a serious sickness. I lost over 60 pounds in under 3 months, going from 180 pounds down to 118 pounds before I had major surgery to remove a foot of my intestines, a fistula, and some bladder work. I was only 19 years old, right in the prime of my life. I never expected to be sick like I was, in and out of hospitals for about a year. Plus, they were not sure if I would ever recover back to normal.
I did recover after the surgery as close to normal as is possible. Part of the reason I was able to deal with Crohn’s and live the life I do now is because I did not feel bad for myself. It simply was not in my nature, kind of like the 3-legged dog. I just said to myself, it is what it is, good or bad, just take it one day at a time. I thought about the positives as well.
What are the positives to Crohn’s disease you may ask? Well, I began to spend a lot more time in the bathroom because Crohn’s disease, which comes with a chronic case of irritable bowel, effects the GI track and mine was right where my large intestine meets the small intestine. I was in the bathroom at least 3-4 times a day and still am. What was the positive side to this?
The positive side was I got to read about 3 extra times a day. Magazines, the internet, newspapers, anything I could get my hands on. They all would help me make it through the time I had to spend in the toilet. And because of this, I would be more well read. Crohn’s disease would actually help make me SMARTER! It may be a bit twisted, but it is certainly true.
Now obviously I am not saying to to go out and try to get Crohn’s disease so you can read more. I am simply saying that because of something unexpected, my life changed drastically. There were positive changes and negative changes. All in all, though, they were just changes.
This happens to people all of the time. Instead of fighting the change and worrying about what could of been, try to accept what is happening and roll with it. I could of sat up all day crying about my disease, but what good would that have done? I could of thought of all the people who are able to eat seeds, raw fruits and vegetables (not allowed on my diet for Crohns), but I did not. I simply thought, if anything, I am going to be a hell of a lot smarter from now on.
Whatever those expectations are that you set for yourself, get rid of them. Life has a strange way of almost turning any expectation into a disappointment anyway. And just like the 3-legged dog, maybe you can handle adversity by not even realizing it exists. Because if the adversity doesn’t exist in your mind…well then, where does it exist?
