This tag line from Nike is one of my favorite of all time. To me it sums up everything about the sports mentality in three words. It’s a shortened tag, from the line, “Don’t talk about it, just go out there and do it.” It shouldn’t only be Nike’s tag line. It should be yours as well.
Many people, including myself, talk about things that we want to do. We either make strong defining statements, drastic claims, or emotional outbursts to back up our fervent word. We not only convince others of our focused intentions, we sometimes convince ourselves as well.
In doing so we set up a pattern that can go unnoticed for many years. We begin to convince ourselves of many things through our words, never looking back at the reality of the situation. Because we set high expectations, we expect ourselves to naturally live up to our word. If we do not reach the expectation, we usually have a valid excuse that has convinced us it is not our fault. However, it is easy to set the expectation. It is much harder to reach it.
I do something like this everyday. Sometimes, I even realize I am doing it as the convincing words are leaving my mouth. However, I am aware of it more than ever. Over the last three years, since I really became aware of this pattern, I have focused my attention on my actions, not my words. It’s a funny thing when you do that, because it sucks the bullshit right out of you.
I learned this lesson both through business and through Jiu Jitsu. In business, many employees, co-workers, and customers make claims all the time that fail to ring true. You might even be one of them. In Jiu Jitsu, though, the lesson is much more blunt.
Men have an ego thing around other men in sports. It is a competitive environment no matter how friendly the game. Men who like to compete, do not like to lose. However, in Jiu Jitsu, there is no real way to get better at it, other than losing. Once, you lose enough (some more than others of course), you start to pick up the essence of the game and move up a level. It is a constant ride like surfing on a wave. You have your ups, and you have your downs. Ego, however, is thrown out the door.
Not much an ego can do for someone when they are tapping feverishly from being submitted for the fifth time in a row. Words really don’t make it any better. A loss is a loss no matter how you twist it. So with Jiu Jitsu, it is put up, or shut up. There is no talk of what you can do. We spar every day. No need to talk. As Nike says, you just do it.
There is a few tricks I’ve learned to help solve this problem. Now, remember, this is a work in progress. You will be amazed at how many times this happens, trust me. So just start with the basics. Here’s what I do.
When a moment pops up where you feel a definitive claim is made, remember, that there are two times you can look good. The first, is the easy one. You can boast about what you will do. For example, let’s say someone is talking about getting in shape. Being the prideful SOB you are, you claim in just a few months, you will be in such top shape, you will run under a 5.5 minute mile. You know what kind of shape you can get into and you are determined.
Of course, as the 1st month goes by, you have ran about 5 times, and worked out straight for three weeks, only missing 2 days of the 4th week. However, by the time the second month comes, other things have started to take your attention. You find a job that takes a little more of your time. You meet a new girl. You start a new hobby. Little by little, that determination for your goal is beset by excuses. You start to tell yourself a job is more important than some boast, even though you could workout after work. You start to make excuses to your friends, explaining what is going on. But the bottom line is, no matter how good the excuse is, you did not live up to your word.
The Second time you can look good, is when it counts. These people usually don’t speak much when all the macho talk is going on. But when it comes time to put up, boy do they put up. They stick to their word like glue, and they accomplish everything they set their mind to. They know the hollow glory of making claims. More importantly, they also know the exhilarating feeling of triumph.
That feeling is the key to fixing this problem for me. In the back of my head now, I envision the two feelings. I remember how hollow others unfulfilled claims sound, and I remember the triumphant feeling of accomplishing a goal. So when I am about to make a claim, I usually just smile now, and say nothing. I smile, because I am picturing the triumphant feeling, and I know that is the only one I want.
Nothing is higher regarded in this life than someone who does what they say they will. It’s why one of the most thrilling moments in sports is the prediction, or the guarantee of victory. It’s just so rare that people live up to their word. That is also exactly why it is so important to do so. We don’t want to be like everyone else. We want to be exceptional, or we would not make such bold statements. We have to realize that nothing spoken will make us exceptional. Only our actions will.
So whatever it is you want to accomplish, just f’n do it..
