photo credit

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Wednesday is Personal Development in Business…

Unless you are living under a rock, I’m sure you are aware of the historic day that took place yesterday. Barack Obama was sworn in as our 44th president of the U.S.A. Stepping aside from our own political views, you can not help but like this man. It is undeniable that he is a natural born leader, regardless of what you think he will do as our President.

This country has been desperate for a leader to guide it into the information age, and to connect with the exploding youth of today. It appears for now that we have found what we have been looking for.

As a business owner, there are many things to learn from Barack Obama. Being a business owner is like leading a very small country in your own right. You do not have all the answers. You are not always going to be right. There are many different opinions on what is right and wrong, and there is also a balance of keeping everyone involved relatively happy.

However, watching President Obama make it look easy yesterday, I thought long and hard about his approach. I believe that is why he is such a magnetic individual. His personality resonates with everyone because he speaks from the heart. We believe, whether wrong or right, he has our best interest in mind.

Inspired by watching this natural born leader during the inauguration, here are…

7 tips to make you a better business owner.

photo credit

1) Being right is less important than doing what’s right.

Work with your team. Sure, you can have an opinion or a firm belief, but being a leader is about listening to those around you, not just pretending to.

2) Know your limits

President Obama made it clear that he can only do so much. It is up to each one of us to help guide this country to a better place. He put the challenge on us to be accountable for our actions.

3) Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.

Being a great leader means knowing when it’s your turn to follow. Sometimes, a person beneath you may have a better plan. A good leader recognizes this, and understands that sometimes you lead by following others.

4) You catch more bees with honey.

As a business owner, just like a President, you can have many enemies. Some are even in your own camp. However, it is how you handle these disputes that conveys your leadership ability to others. Do not overreact and try to make each issue a case of right and wrong. Listen to your enemies, and challenge them not with words or power, but with your example. You may find an enemy becomes a great ally.

5) Take it one challenge at a time

Imagine being President Obama right now. He faces some of the toughest challenges any president has ever had to. The same can be true for a new business owner. Try not to get caught up in the pressure. Simply handle each challenge one at a time, and take it from there. You can not fix everything in one day, so no need to try.

6) It is okay to be Human.

President Obama did not come out and claim to know everything, have all the answers, or prove he is smarter than everyone else. Instead, he let his humanity show and that is what drew us all to him. We are all human, no matter how hard we try to be perfect robots. It’s okay to show our humanity. We all make mistakes, and a business owner, or the President of the U.S.A. is no exception. Admit it when you make a mistake, and take the pressure off of everyone else afraid to do so.

7) Don’t worry about the haters.

Haters to me are people who have not been able to get things in their own life to go right. Therefore, they hate on everyone else trying to accomplish the things they could not. It is most important to believe in yourself, no matter what those around you say. If you believe you can change the world, than you sure as hell have a chance of doing so. Look no further than a man named Barack Hussein Obama for your inspiration.

Now it’s your turn. In the comments section, add some other ways President Obama may have inspired you….

——————————————————————————————–

If you like what you see, get all the latest updates right to your email…

In Part 1 of this series, I wrote about how the mind and body balance one another to form a spirit. Part 2 took a deeper look into how the spirit works.  We looked at how your mind & body interact together, and how that affects your ability to achieve your goals.  In the final part, I am going to talk about the power of thoughts.

Thoughts are the fuel for the brain.

The brain controls the body.  Therefore that means your thoughts indirectly affect your body, which affects your actions, and then obviously, your life. This power of perception is severely underrated in my humble opinion.  People just don’t realize that their perception plays a MAJOR part in the outcome of their life.  That’s why it is so important to be aware of exactly how it affects you.

For example, a person may own an old junky car his Dad gave him when he was much younger.  The car is almost 50 years old, needs a paint job, has no AC, and eats gas like you can’t believe.  To this person, he would take anything to get rid of this piece of junk ruining the beauty of his rural property.  In fact, he is hesitant to put it up for sale because he wonders why on Earth anyone would give anything for this car.

Then, along comes Joe.

Joe loves old cars.  He collects classic automobiles.  He almost loses his mind when he sees the ad for the car in the paper.  ‘$500 is all he wants?’.  He can’t believe it.  He thinks there must be a mistake.  He immediately rushes over to see the car.  He acts cool, checks it over, and is dumbfounded by his luck.  He has just found a 1959 Chevrolet Impala for only $500!  After cleaning up his new toy, he happily drives it to the next classic car show in tip top shape.

Now, this is the same car. Nothing has changed.  Yet one person is enamored with it, and thinks it the luckiest day of his life to find it, and the other is practically giving it away.  What is the difference you ask?

Perception.

Joe perceives an amazing value whereas the original owner only sees a pile of junk. This may sound a bit silly, as obviously one man’s trash is another’s man gold.  We have all probably heard that before.  However, this lesson on perception can actually help you achieve your goals as well.

When you are heading down the path to your goal, you will face many obstacles, challenges, slip ups, and circumstances that are completely out of your control.  For instance, when I opened the mortgage company, I had no idea what was going to happen to the market.  I knew it could slow down, but I had no idea it would get as bad as it did.  I was not enjoying what I was doing to begin with, so when it got even tougher, I perceived everyday of work as a struggle.  To me, there was no possible way to survive in the industry.

Now, while many others felt just as I did, there were countless others who held strong.  These were the people who lived and breathe mortgages.  To them, and their perception, there was no alternative.  They only knew mortgages, and quitting was not an option.  These people did not perceive the dread that I did.  Instead, they looked at it like another challenge.  Some went into doing Reverse Mortgages. Many came up with very creative ways to get people into new houses, such as a ‘house swap’.    That is where two people who own homes with similar values and leans switch houses, instead of having to go through the mortgage process.

My point is, everything depends on your perception.  That is the power of thoughts.  Your mind is a powerful entity.  It controls your body and controls your energy.  When I am training Jiu-Jitsu, and reach a point where my body questions whether it can go anymore, it becomes a battle of the mind.  What I have learned is that you can always keep going somehow.  It’s just a test of your will.  Being tired, sore, or out of breath is just the warning signals.  However, the human body is extremely resilient.

Think of it like running.

When you run, it is not a test of your body.  Rather it is a test of your mind.  It is how long you can go without your mind & body agreeing to stop.  Your body is going to send signals to your mind every step of the way about how tired you are.  It is up to your mind to tell your body to relax and keep going.  And it all starts with a simple thought. “Yes I can!”

However, many times people will focus on different thoughts. How many times do your hear these words, or a variation, come out of your mouth, or pop into your head?

• I can’t.
• I won’t.
• It’s not for me.
• I’m unable to do that.
• It’s too hard.
• Are you crazy?  I can’t do that!
• I can’t go anymore. I have to stop.
• I’m too tired, or heavy, or skinny, or young, or old, or whatever!

Simply put, these are all excuses, no matter how true you may think they are at the time.  If you find yourself saying or thinking any of these statements, I have only one thing to tell you:

You are 100% right.

With that mindset, you will make those statements completely true.  Those thoughts right there are the beginning of your failure.  What you are really saying is that you need an excuse because you have no more willpower.  Your body has taken over your mind and is controlling its thoughts.

However, what you need to understand, is that the same is true for the opposite thoughts.  What these thoughts should sound more like is…

• I can’t yet, but I will.
• I won’t want to, but I will anyway.
• It’s not for me, but I’ll give it a shot.
• I’m unable to do that yet.  Give me some time, and I can accomplish anything.
• It’s too hard because I have not tried it yet.
• Are you crazy?  Of course I can do that if I give it some effort.
• I can go some more even though it feels like I have to stop.
• I’m NOT too tired, or heavy, or skinny, or young, or old, or whatever!

It all depends on your perception. Nothing else matters. Not anyone else’s perception or anything else. Try it out for yourself.  The next time your mind starts to think these negative thoughts, turn the negative thought into a positive one.  That is the first step. That provides your body with the right FUEL.

Your brain will focus on your thought, and your body will naturally follow.

I teach Boxing, Kickboxing, and Jiu-Jitsu classes.  The boxing and Muay Thai Kickboxing classes are more Cardio based.  It amazes me each time the power of motivation I can give to someone when they are ready to give up.  Like at the end of a 3 minute boxing round in the hardest part of class, when their arms are just sooooo tired that they seem to be moving in slow motion.  This is when I will yell things like…

‘You are almost there.’
’30 more seconds, give it all you got.’
‘This is the tough part. You have to push yourself to make it through.’

What this does is replace their negative thoughts with positive ones.  As the end is nearing, they start to give up.  They slow down because their body is telling them to.  Their willpower is fading.  The thought of ‘I can’t go anymore’ is creeping into their mind.  When they hear my voice however, a new thought enters their head.  They say, I can do it. I made it this far.  I’m not giving up.

That is because they perceive it now as a challenge.  They have found their motivation.  Instead of focusing on failure, they are re-focused on success.  This is the key in life as well.  When our mind and body are battling, it is up to us to pick our perception.  Find the positive in everything. Learn that your entire day, as well as everyone around you, is affected by your thoughts whether you reveal them or not.

They are that powerful.

However, with every power, comes responsibility.  Use your thoughts wisely.  Don’t let doubt creep into your mind.  Instead of looking at everything as either good or bad, look at it all as experience.  That’s what it is.  You are gaining experience.  The mind, body, and spirit are all constantly gaining experience.  Your thoughts are the key to getting the most out of every experience.  Here is some neat things to try just to see the power of perception.

• If you don’t want to do something, try instead to look forward to it.  Try to make it fun, or a challenge, or a learning experience.  Flip the switch!
• If you think something is impossible to achieve, try pretending that it is possible.  Pretend that the way it is possible is a hidden secret.  No one has been able to find it as of yet. It is solely up to you. Take your time and consistently work towards finding that secret.
• If you are afraid of something, try to focus on the opposite. So if you are afraid of a being hit by a baseball in the batter’s box, try to focus on hitting a home run. By focusing on the possibility of getting hit, you are actually attracting it. The pitcher may even notice this and start to throw inside just to scare you.  Instead of focusing on the fear, focus on the glory. Think of it like whatever you focus on, is exactly what will happen.

This process of becoming aware of your perception is a lifelong journey.

Everyday I learn more about the power of thoughts. I think back to when I was younger and I can see the way my perception affected my life.  I used to think one way, and therefore I used to act one way. As I matured, my thinking changed, and therefore so did my actions.

Just think of the Guy that gets all the girls. They get most of the girls because they PERCEIVE that they will.  Their actions exude confidence because they believe they will attract any girl they wish.  They don’t hope, they know.  Whereas, someone like the younger me would hope that the girl liked him, and wind up watching her hang with someone with a more positive perception.

Take a couple of minutes and think back on your own life.

Think long & hard of all the things you might have been able to do if you just believed in yourself and went for it. Think of how much better you could take on high school, grade school, college, or any sport at all.  What has changed?  Your age?  Yes. Your experience?  Yes again.  However, it can all be summed up by what really changed: your perception.

Instead of waiting for the future to think back of what you could of accomplished in the past, start today to change your thinking. Open your mind to other possible perceptions and use them as motivation.

• Why not make today the day you use your new power of perception to accomplish your goals?
• Why not make today the day your perception takes you toward where ever it is you dream of going?
• Why not?

‘There is no day is better than today.’

Article by Peter Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

If you are not a fan of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), or the UFC, then you probably have never heard of Lyoto ‘the Dragon’ Machida.  However, you do not have to be a fan to appreciate his story.  He is a wonderful example of the unlimited power of the mind, and I learned a lot about the human spirit from the story of his life.  Here is a brief synopsis of his background from Wikipedia…

Lyoto Carvalho Machida (born May 30, 1978) is a Brazilian professional mixed martial arts fighter. Son of a Japanese-Brazilian Shotokan Karate master Yoshizo Machida, Lyoto is a rising star in MMA. He is currently ranked as the #3 light heavyweight fighter in the world by Sherdog.

Machida began training in karate at the age of four, earning his black-belt at the age of 13. He began training in Sumo at 12 and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu at 15. He won a number of amateur karate tournaments, including 2001 Pan American Karate tournament. He was also runner up in the 2000 Brazilian Sumo Championships in the 115-kg division.

In addition to his Sumo and Karate achievements, he has a college degree in Physical Education. Lyoto’s brother, Chinzo, is a Shotokan vice-champion (Australia 2006), losing only to #1 ranked Shotokan master Koji Ogata. Lyoto and Chinzo fought in a Karate Final 10 years ago in which Lyoto gave Chinzo a cheek scar that still exists today. His other brother, Kenzo Machida, is a TV journalist for one of Brazil’s biggest TV stations.

What I found most interesting about the life of Lyoto Machida is the role his father played in his development.  When Lyoto was a young, young boy, his Father noticed his signature toughness and told him he had the spirit of a Samurai within him.  This would effect the outcome of his entire life.  For the rest of his days, the one thing Lyoto’s Father always made clear, was that Lyoto had a Samurai Spirit.

“I can understand the real thinking of the samurai because the martial arts came from Japan,” he reflected. “The samurai thinks as much as he fights in the martial arts. Then my father always teached me (sic) about everything—about technique, but about out of the ring.” –Lyoto Machida from here.

Flash forward to present day.

Lyoto is currently fighting in the 205 lb Light Heavyweight division.  If you do not watch MMA, then I will give you a little insight into the weight classes.  Most fighters, in order to get an edge, cut weight before the weigh ins.  This means a man who normally weighs 225 lbs can cut down to 205 lbs the day before his fight.

After the weigh ins, the fighters are free to re-hydrate themselves, and eat up.  By the time they walk into the ring, they can weigh nearly 215-220 lbs again.  Lyoto is not one of these fighters.  He walks around at about the weight he fights at.  In fact, he usually weighs a few pounds less than the required weight, so he is not the biggest, baddest fighter by far.  He is more of a technician, and a good one at that.  He mixes many different fighting styles into a blend he can call his own, to defeat larger, more powerful opponents.

In the UFC, where the elite of MMA are, being a technician is not enough.  You need to be tougher than you can ever imagine.  This is because, the real fight in MMA is against yourself.  MMA is a war of attrition.  Sure, you have to be a good fighter, but anything, and I mean anything, can happen in a fight.  A slip here, a distraction there, or a bad call by the ref, can alter the entire make-up of a fight.  It is during these moments a fighter finds out who they are.

“Many men feel that they should act according to the time or the moment they are facing, and thus are in confusion when something goes beyond this and some difficulty arises.  The man whose profession is arms should calm his mind and look into the depths of others. Doing so is likely the best of the martial arts.“  –Shiba Yoshimasa (1350-1410)

When Lyoto Machida gets into rough spots like this, you can see the spirit light up his face.  It seems, as the situation gets more dire, Lyoto actually gets stronger.  His eyes light up, his focus unites, and the spirit of the Samurai lifts him out of trouble.  It is amazing to watch as this unassuming man turns into a warrior at the first sign of trouble.

I believe this is directly due to his father.  His father, a Karate master himself, obviously knew about the power of the warrior spirit.  By constantly reinforcing his son’s belief in his own spirit’s power, Lyoto grew to have a spirit stronger than any of his challengers.  He full well believes, with every ounce of his being, that he has a Samurai spirit living within him.  This singular belief, that he has had since he was a small child, has carried him to victory in countless areas of life.

You don’t have to fight in a cage to benefit from the Samurai spirit.

Any challenge you face in life is a test of your spirit.  Humans are remarkable beings that have consistently overcome insurmountable odds to achieve what was once thought impossible.  The reason is solely due to their belief in themselves.  For example, no one ever ran a 4 minute mile before it was broken in the early  1950s.  Within two years, eight other people broke the record.  Coincidence?  Or do you think that these other people finally believed it was possible once they heard someone else did it?

Anything is possible.  Humans have always dreamed of being able to fly.  Well now we have helicopters, jets, planes, and space shuttles.  Humans have always dreamed of a time machine.  Now we have television, dvds, movie theaters, and documentaries which can re-create what past times may have been like.  The point is, whatever your dream may be, no matter how far-fetched it may seem, it is definitely possible in some way or another.

All you have to do is believe in yourself.

Remember about the Samurai spirit the next time you are ready to give up.  Remember how it has carried Lyoto through his most pressing times.  I always say MMA reflects the challenges we face in life.  Try to use the same tools these fighters do.  Believe in your preparation, in your own ability, and great things will be sure to come.

Such is the way of the Samurai….

“Life is like unto a long journey with a heavy burden. Let thy step be slow and steady, that thou stumble not. Persuade thyself that imperfection and inconvenience are the natural lot of mortals, and there will be no room for discontent, neither for despair. When ambitious desires arise in thy heart, recall the days of extremity thou has passed through. Forbearance is the root of quietness and assurance forever. Look upon the wrath of the enemy. If thou knowest only whatit is to conquer, and knowest not what it is to be defeated, woe unto thee; it will fare ill with thee. Find fault with thyself rather than with others.” –Ieyasu Tokugawa (1543-1616)

Have you ever thought so much about life after death that you got to the point of internally debating whether or not to kill an annoying insect?  I mean, really thought about if it is wrong, or whether Karma, or God, or whatever will haunt you because of this action?  You want to do it, but you feel guilty.

Well, right in my garage, I have a fly that is annoying the hell out of me as I write.  I desperately want to smash it against the wall, but I just feel like taking any life is not right.  I mean it is only an insect.  It does not know any better.  Why should I be the judge of whether it lives or dies?

Just as I am contemplating whether or not I am a better person for this, my cat pounces out of mid air right on the fly and eats it.  The look on his face is definitely not about whether it was right or wrong.  He just followed his instincts and now that it is over with, he is ready to move on.

At least I will have good company in Hell, I thought.

Growing up in a Roman Catholic household, I was well versed in the concept of life after death.  When I was little, I was taught my actions in life would determine if Heaven or Hell would be my final destination.  I was preached all of this in Catholic school as if it was coming straight from the Creator himself.  It was a rather simple concept:  Live a good life and you are in, live a bad life and you burn.

As I got older, my thirst for knowledge grew.  I had a voracious appetite for movies from all over the world.  These films allowed me to digest unique perspectives from foreign places with very different viewpoints than typical Hollywood movies.  I was introduced to many, many different ways of thinking and it really peeked my curiosity.  I began to surf the web as the internet popped up and read all sorts of history books & classic Renaissance novels in search of truth.

The more I learned, the more I strayed from the fear based teachings I absorbed as a youth.  I realized the entire world has various views on life after death, and proving any of them wrong or right is impossible.  There is not one accepted concept because no one really knows anything for sure.  It is simply all about what you believe.

I find it remarkable how some people live their life solely for this belief, and how some people could care less one way or the other.  This simple difference in thinking has been the cause of countless deaths and atrocities.  I wonder, is either way necessarily a better way to live than the alternative?  Is it important to worry about what happens when you die?

I believe, just like me, society has begun to reject fear based concepts as our collective intelligence has grown through increased communication.  It’s funny, because after a long journey, I have come almost full circle.  I believe all of the ideals I was taught in my upbringing are vital to living a good life NOW, not after I die.  I also am amazed as I look back, just how much of my life has been spent preparing for death.  It is quite remarkable when you think about it.

The great thing about the internet is it allows us to hear a myriad of wonderfully diverse views from around the world.  I believe there are positive aspects in all of our beliefs. I am dying (no pun intended) to hear what you think.  What are your thoughts?

Does your belief (or not) in the afterlife affect your day to day life?

If you liked this, please share it…
Stumble It!,

@YinVsYang we always write about the power of the spirit.  Well, tonight, I learned a little more about the spirit world than I ever have before.  As a matter of fact, I was completely and utterly moved by a story my mother told me.  It really got me thinking afterward about all sorts of stuff.

So I figured I would share.

My mother has owned a Nursery School for almost 18 years.  She has had many wonderful Teachers and Aids over the years that I have gotten to meet.  One of those was a woman named Jean, who also happened to have two daughters I went to high school with.  Well, sadly, a few months ago, Jean died of cancer in her fifties, leaving behind her two daughters, a husband, and her own mother.  Being that she was so young, it was obviously very hard on the family.

Tonight, I went to eat at my parent’s house with my wife, sister, and Uncle.  We all caught up a bit, argued about the presidential race, and talked about the upcoming football season for the NY Jets (at least the guys did).  Then, my mother turned to me and said she had an amazing story to tell me I would not believe.

Before we get to the story, let me just fill you in on a little history.  My mother is an avid believer in heaven and the afterlife.  I, for one reason or another, am not that convinced.  It’s not that I don’t believe in anything.  It’s just I don’t see a point in arguing over something none of us will ever live to prove.  Because of this, my mother loves to share enlightening stories with me.

My mom begins by telling me that Jean’s daughters and husband went to an acclaimed Psychic somewhere in Long Island.  Apparently, this Psychic, whose name I do not know, was trained under the famous psychic on TV, John Edwards.  My mother knew this is not something I really believe in, but she said to take it for what it is worth.  I’m pretty open minded, so I went with it.

Well, the two daughters and the husband walked into a room and met the Psychic.  They paid with an untraceable money order, just to be sure there was no way to do any research on them.  The Psychic greeted them and explained that a woman was following them holding the letter ‘J’.  He also explained she was dancing.  The Psychic asked the woman why she was dancing.  He said she responded ‘Because I can.’  The family could not believe it.  This was one of Jean’s favorite answers to give to her friends and family.

The family was impressed, and the Psychic was off to a good start.  However, I privately had my doubts as my mom continued.  Next, the psychic told the two daughters that their mom Jean wanted them to know that it was okay for them to wear all of her clothes and her shoes.  ‘They might be expensive, but they will go to waste otherwise,’ the Psychic told them she said.  Apparently, the girls had had many arguments over this and decided it was best to not wear the clothes.  They could not believe the Psychic knew this.

Then, the Psychic told them Jean wanted them to tell her Mom something.  The family Grandma had been devastated by her daughter’s untimely death.  Jean wanted to let her mom know that every time she cries at her kitchen table, she is right there kneeling next to her.  When the family spoke to the Grandma, she could not believe it.  The kitchen table is exactly where she always sits and cries!

Now, I was starting to believe.  How could this possibly be true?  The Psychic could not have possibly known all of this….could he?

Finally, the Psychic turned to Jean’s husband.  He told him that Jean wanted to tell him that the white feather he found the other day was from her.  She just wanted to let him know she was still there.

The husband must have been freaked at this point.  It turns out that he was watching TV a few weeks ago when something slowly fell out of nowhere from a shelf.  He did not pay much attention to it until later, when he went to pick it up, and found only a white feather.  He did not think much of it at the time, except that it was a little strange to find a feather.

After hearing a story like this, I can’t help but wonder about the spirit world.  We spend so much time working on balancing our spirit in life, I guess it is only natural it should continue on in death.  If anyone has any similar stories or incidents they would like to share, I would be much obliged.  Stories like this always lift my spirit.  I hope they lift yours as well.

If you enjoyed this, please click DIGG IT below.  Thanks in advance.