Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on twitter.

I recently was lucky enough to get to meet world renowned Brazilian Jiu Jitsu master, Jeff Glover. For those that don’t know, Jeff Glover is one of the best in the world, having won the No Gi Championship in 2007. Here is a great rundown on Jeff from the ADCC website…

This 145 pound black belt is a product of Ricardo “Franjinha” Miller. Now a days Jeff Glover is a teacher in a huge gym called Paragon Jiu-Jitsu, with four training centers in California. He was recently quoted in Gracie Mag to have “the most respected guard in the United States”. In 2007 Glover won gold in the no-gi World Championship.

Now, I have met and trained with, or taken seminars from, many world renowned Martial Artists. However, Jeff is the youngest I have ever encountered and what struck me was his personality. He is funny, over the top, and down right a joy to be around. Now, in a sport where you need to be tougher and smarter then your opponent, this may seem like a strange trait. However, to me, this is exactly why Jeff is a champion. He is himself at all times, and simply enjoys every minute of his day doing what he loves.

Jeff, himself is quoted on the ADCC website as saying…

I’ve been involved in jiu-jitsu for over ten years now, and my love for the art continues to be the driving force in my life.

That is something we at Yin vs Yang have been preaching forever. With the economy in ragged shape, housing at an all time low, and the majority of the world struggling to stay afloat, Jeff is a constant reminder that if you do what you love, none of that matters. He didn’t set out to make money by becoming a Jiu Jitsu champion. He simply started out wanting to train and get better. He told our school that he would get tapped over and over and over again, continually just trying to find his game. Eventually, his persistence paid off, and he even became known as having one of the best guards around. He mastered the deep half guard game, becoming an expert and revolutionizing its use. He did all this because he loves to.

Sometimes in life, we set goals for ourself that are far away. In Jiu Jitsu, you don’t set out to be a world champion. That is a great accomplishment. Truth is, you set out to train every day. Eventually, the opportunity presents itself because of the hard work you put in. Then, when you enter the tournament, that is when the goal of being a world champion sets in.

To be happy in life, we must set out with one goal: find what we love to do, and do it every day no matter what. In another words, “When the Passion is There, Success is Easy”

For more incredible videos on Jeff Glover, check out Grappler’s Quest ‘Best of Jeff “The Pipelayer” Glover’ video list.

(taken from my iphone)

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

I have been quite busy lately, and not able to write as often as I like. Actually, I probably could if I wanted to, but I honestly have been focused elsewhere.

One of the great things this break has given me is a chance to really re-evaluate some of the things I wanted to write. Well, I was lucky enough to see an example of this in the flesh when Robert Drysdale gave a seminar at my Jiu Jitsu school.

For those that don’t know, Robert Drysdale is one of the top Jiu Jitsu guys in the world. He was Randy Couture’s Jiu Jitsu coach on season 1 of the Ultimate Fighter, and he most recently was Frank Mir’s coach against Brock Lesnar at UFC 100.

I have been to many Martial Arts seminars by greats such as Royler Gracie, David Adiv, Joel Brutus, and Rodrigo Pinheiro. All of their seminars were filled with excellent technique demonstrations, powerful lessons, and incredible learning experiences. However, there is one way that Robert Drysdale’s seminar differed from all the rest.

He incorporated more than just the technique, he included lessons on attitude as well.

When he would show a move, he would talk about two parts. First, he spoke of how & when to perform the technique he was teaching. Secondly, he spoke about the state of mind needed to pull off the move. So for example, when facing a larger opponent, he spoke of completing 3 moves to every one that the larger guy does. This is how you use your speed to an advantage as a smaller individual.

It was very interesting to hear what I have been privately learning since I started Jiu Jitsu. The techniques are all teachable and easy to learn. However, in the state of mind you have during battle that determines how successful you are.

It is amazing how much an effect your state of mind has on your performance!

In life and in business, it is much the same. The art of making money, building a business, and doing the work is rather simple when you think about it. It is the state of mind you take into work everyday that makes all the difference. It is the vigor you attack the obstacles in the way of achieving your goals that matters most.

And, most importantly, as Robert Drysdale mentioned, it is the attitude of a winner that allows you to overcome any challenge. Being afraid of losing is the same as being afraid of winning.

What matters is building the confidence in yourself that you can solve and meet any challenges you face.

Then, when you wind up in a tough predicament, you will be confident you can overcome that too, b/c you have done it before, and can do it again.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Life can be very confusing with all the stimulus our mind has to deal with each day. We have bills to pay, family to make happy, work to do, bosses/clients to satisfy, dreams of a better life, and reality standing in our way.

All of this stimulus can really throw a wrench in our ability to prioritize what is really important, and what appears important on a daily basis. There is so much going on that we don’t know what we should focus on. Instead, we try to focus on it all.

I experienced the same type of situation while gaining rank in Jiu Jitsu. When I was a white belt, there was so much going on that I tried to pay attention to, my mind was unable to keep up with more experienced and athletic opponents. Everything my opponent did seemed like a battle for life or death.

Over time, as I got more comfortable, I learned to relax my mind and only pay attention to what is important. You see, all of the stuff I was paying attention to seemed important when I was a white belt. That is why every time my opponent moved, I reacted, or more likely, over reacted. This is because I did not understand what was, and was not important. Since I was not sure, I had to fight every battle as if it was my last.

Now that I am a purple belt (before brown) and carry five years of real experience, I do not react to my opponent’s every move. Each situation I get into, I am able to focus on what is important and disregard what used to appear important. So if my opponent is threatening a move, I know whether or not to take it seriously because I understand my priorities in each position I have experience in. In simple terms, I carefully pick my battles.

Life is much the same, though we don’t gain rank with colored belts. Instead, we gain rank in happiness. Much like any martial art, achieving happiness takes hard work. It is not easy to be happy. In order to truly be at peace with ourselves, we need to understand what we want in life.

On this Earth, no matter who we are, there is one thing we all have in common. That is time. Time is all any of us really have. If every government in the world toppled, and money no longer existed, time would still march on. There is no stopping it. The only thing you can do is roll with it. You can not save time. You have to spend it. So the question is, what do you invest your daily time in?

Valuing your time is a great way to prioritize your focus and motivate yourself. Remember, there is no choice on whether you spend your time or not. You are spending it regardless. Might as well get the most value out of it, no? If you look at the world from the view point of your time’s value, it becomes much easier to deal with the daily negativity and dilemmas we all face.

Here are some examples from my life:

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Someone says something bad about me.

In the past, I might try to confront them. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep until I did confront them. But now, I think of it in terms of my time’s value. Is it worth my time to deal with something somebody said? Or is it better to just move on and focus on my dreams?

I need to pay my bills, but I also have to grow my business.

My bills tell me I should get a job to pay them now. However, time tells me I need to invest as much of it as possible in my business to be successful. This helps me realize that, for me, growing my business takes priority over paying my monthly bills because it is my dream to earn a living doing what I love. It may suck for a little while, but in the end, I will be enjoying the time I spend working, and easily paying my bills.

Which job should I take?

Many of us look at one thing when it comes to work: the salary. We judge each job opportunity by the size of the salary and benefits package. However, when you take time into consideration, the salary does not seem so important. If I am going to spend the MAJORITY of my time doing something, I better be happy while I am doing it, or getting something equal to it’s investment.

If I am going to be miserable, even if the pay is good, it is not worth the time. On the same note, if I am going to spend my time to pay my bills each month, only to leave the job years later and have to immediately find another to pay my bills because I was unable to save, what is the point? I’d rather invest my time to help me climb up the financial ladder, then to just spend all my time moving laterally.

I can’t do that.

No matter what it is, this right here is the biggest bunch of baloney in the entire English language. This phrase should be banned for its lunacy. If all we have is time, then we certainly can do anything we put our mind to. We may not want to do something, or we may be afraid to do something, but saying we can’t do anything is just ludicrous. If we invest the time, anything is possible.

I really want to reach this goal, but I don’t have the time.

Well, if you’ve read this far you certainly understand that you do have the time. In fact, that is all we have. Now, your time may be tied up with other things, but the question is, what is more important to you: Spending your time doing other things that appear important, or taking the initiative to spend your time do what you always dreamed?

I’ll tell you this: No one ever accidentally lived a dream life.

How much do you value your time?

Are you spending the majority of your time doing what you love? Does getting up in the morning feel good, or is it the first of a long series of dreaded events in your day?

Remember, time is all we really have. We get to decide how we spend it and just like money, it is an investment. What are you investing your time in? Is the end result really worth it, or are you just delaying the inevitable?

Only time will tell.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Everyone in life has their position. Whether at work, in your own business, in sports, at the dinner table, financially, or even in your personal relationships, their is an element of positioning. When trying to climb the ladder of success, we are inherently trying to improve our position in life, be it at work, or in our bank account.

Accountability

The first step to fighting for a better position in life is similar to a lot of first steps: Accountability. We must understand that what ever position we are in, it is because we settled for that spot. It is not because of any other reason. We decided at some point that this particular position was good enough. It might not have been a conscience decision. You may not have even thought of it that way, but the truth is, at some point, you accepted the position you are in.

That is okay. We all settle into a position at some point, at least until it gets uncomfortable again. Then we squirm around to try and find a new position. Some of us are eager to move up. Some of us will come tumbling down, and many of us will find it easier to move laterally. Moving laterally means we switch positions, but instead of moving up or down the ladder of success, we just move a little to the right, or to the left. So, yes our position has changed, but not the level we are on. It is almost like sitting in an uncomfortable chair, and then shifting your weight. It may feel good for a minute or two, but the bottom line is, no matter how much you try to make it, the chair will never be comfortable for long.

Settling for Less

Every position you are in you have settled for. Now that we understand that, we can see that if we are unhappy with our position, then we are really just unhappy that we settled for it. The position is not the problem. That is just a space that we fill. However, if you find that space uncomfortable, or unsatisfying, then only you can make the choice to improve it. To do this, you must make a deal with yourself that you will not settle for less than what you want.

When I graduated film school, I had to do something to make money quick. My family sold their 7 year old summer camp business, and now I was on my own to earn a living again. I was engaged to be married, had no job, lived at my parent’s house, and didn’t have a clue how to make money with the skills I had with a camera.

I started out trying to write screenplays, but they just were not good enough to garner any attention. So, instead of chugging along and finding my way, I jumped at the first opportunity I had to earn a living: mortgages. A friend of mine from Jiu Jitsu owned a huge company and I was eager to make some money and get some bills to pay. At the time, it seemed like the decision to take this job was what was best my wife to be, my parents, and myself.

This is the perfect example of settling for less. I didn’t want to just pay my bills. My goal was to pay my bills doing what I was passionate about. However, as soon as it got a little difficult, I switched paths to the easier road, and convinced myself paying my bills in anyway is what was best for everyone. So yes, for a little while I got to pay my bills, but in the end, when the economy got in trouble, I was left right where I started, with more debt, higher bills, and still with the problem of trying to earn a living using a camera.

Due to this, one rule of thumb I now live by is that if I am debating a decision, and the best argument I can come up with to do something is that it is what’s best for everyone ELSE, then I will no longer do it. I have learned that it is not selfish to do what’s best for you, cause in the end, what’s best for you is really what’s best for everyone else around you.

Learning First Hand on the Mat

As with most of life, I have found the perfect analogy for this in Jiu Jitsu. Just like chess, Jiu Jitsu is a big position battle. You are constantly fighting to get a better position then your opponent. In fact, many people who watch the UFC will complain when it goes to the ground because they feel the fight is boring. If you actually trained, you would enjoy all the battling for position that goes on when it looks like these fighters are just rolling around on the ground, because you would understand the importance.

Position is extremely important in Jiu Jitsu, just like in life. And, just like life again, if you wind up in a bad position on the mat, there is no one to blame accept you. You either made an error, or gave up fighting, and now your opponent has secured a dominant position.

When you are rolling (the term for sparring) in Jiu jitsu, many times you will find yourself tired as another one of these position battles happens. For example, you are exhausted, and your opponent is holding you down in side control like the following pic…

photo credit – Side Control Position

From here, as you are trying to catch your breath to escape, your opponent begins sliding their right knee across your stomach to try and gain the following mount position.

photo credit – Mount Position

Once an opponent has the mount position, it can be very tough to survive much longer. They are in a dominant position that makes it extremely tough for you to get out without exhausting much of your energy. Many times this is the beginning of the end in a match.

So let’s review the steps one more time. An opponent who had side control while you are catching your wind, begins to slide their knee across to try and get the dominant mount position. You have two choices here.

1. You can rest up, let the opponent get the mount, and then try to fight from there.
2. You can suck it up and fight like hell to make sure the opponent never gets the knee across and secures the mount because you know the fight from there is a hell of a lot tougher then the one you face now, no matter how tired you are.

Many times as a white belt, I chose choice #1, letting my opponent advance while I recovered. This always turned out to be a mistake no matter how tired I was. By resting, I was delaying fighting a necessary battle to reach my goal of winning. Inevitably I would have to fight anyway, but now from a much worse position. Each time I thought the rest was more important when the battle started. Each time, I was wrong.

In life, it is much the same. Many times we decide not to fight for a certain position because we are tired, or we convince ourselves it is not worth it. We fail to fight for better pay, or a better deal, or a better whatever. We settle for what we don’t have to fight for and just like on the mat, we usually find ourselves still fighting that battle, but from a much worse position later on.

The Key

The best way to secure a better position in life is to always be prepared to fight for it. Identify the position you are in, and where you are trying to go. Then, even when you are tired, worn out, or it is the last thing you want, if it is relevant to your success, you must fight for it. Otherwise, you risk losing ground to many others who will be trying to pass you on their way up the ladder. Once they get ahead, it is at least twice as hard to catch up.

In Life, unlike Jiu Jitsu, instead of battling one opponent, we face a myriad of opposition every day. So these fights can come from every direction. Sometimes they don’t even appear to be a fight. However, the bottom line is, if you want a better position in life, it is not going to come easy. You have to be prepared to pay the price for the position you want, and fight like hell to maintain and improve it. The better the position, the harder the fight. It’s all relative.

So the next time you feel that something is no big deal, or you’ll just handle it later, think of your positioning. Many times, you will realize, better to fight now, rather then let it go, and have to work twice as hard later on.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

First off, I hope every Mother had a great weekend. Seems like one day a year is kind of a small price to pay for the amount of support and love a mother can give all year long. Hope the weekend met every mother’s expectations.

Speaking of weekends, I read a great article on Sunday in ESPN the Magazine (May 18th, 2009) titled ‘Mixed Messenger’ by Michael Woods. For all you fight fans, it is a story about the life of Dana White, the head honcho of the UFC. The story takes place at some different times in the life of Dana leading up to the Anderson Silva vs. James Irvin fight. What struck me about the article is the quote they used at the end to sum up the story:

“The picture of Dana White? A little clearer. He’s savvy, but savage, creative but crude, organized but unpredictable – also the recipe for success in the cage.”

Basically, Woods describes him as a ‘walking contradiction’, but in a good way. Like the yin and the yang, Dana has two sides to him, both of which play a pivotal role in who he has become. It was in reading this quote that I felt a lot better about myself. I, too, can be a walking contradiction, as we all can.

What this quote, and story, showed me, was that it’s okay to be both sides of the coin. There are times that call for you to be a nice, caring person. However, if you want to survive in the shady world we live in, then you have to be able to flip the switch, and be ruthless against whatever obstacles stand in your way. In another words, being just one way is sometimes not enough. A fighter can not come in the cage and beat every opponent with the same strategy, and neither can we expect to overcome every obstacle with the same approach in real life.

To be successful in the cage, you have to be prepared, be adaptable, and ready for the unthinkable. Sounds a lot like life, huh? Well, it is. In the cage, all the chit chatter, the reputations, and the thoughts of other people mean absolutely nothing when those cage doors close. Same with life. If you think about it, all the chit chatter, reputations, and things people say about you mean are not the reason whether we succeed or not.

The recipe for success in the cage, and in life, is to be yourself. Dana White gets a lot of flak about his public cursing, his savage response to his critics, and his image as a ruthless CEO. So what? You think he, or his bosses the Fertita brothers, really care? Of course not. They know that Dana being Dana is the reason they are where they are today. They know Dana routinely gives money to people in need, and is a nice caring person. However, they know he is not someone the competition wants to cross either. We should all take note of this when we try to conform to what other people think around us.

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This is not to say it is okay to walk around and be an asshole. However, I am saying that sometimes in life, the best way to get what you want is to be an asshole. Early Sunday morning, while thinking about this, I caught the movie about Madonna’s rise to fame called Madonna: Innocence Lost.

One noticeable thing in the movie was how many of the friends she made that she left behind. It almost seem like she was a ruthless bitch going after her dreams, not caring who she hurt in her way. However, there is one line in the movie that really lets you understand what she is about. Madonna is about to make it big, and is very frustrated with her managers inability to get her a record deal. When she finds someone who can get her that deal, she jumps at the chance. Needless to say, the manager, who has risked everything on Madonna, is devastated. She gets very upset and threatens to throw Madonna out on the street. Madonna responds (at least in the movie):

“Don’t be mad at me because I am moving on and you can’t come with me.”

She goes on to explain how everyone gets mad at her because as she moves on, her friends can’t come with her. That is not her fault, that’s just the way it is. That really made a lot of sense. Life is not predictable, fair, or easy for any of us. Chances and opportunities are far and few between. So when one comes along that can make our dreams come true, we must not miss out because of what other’s may think. If the others are true friends, they will understand. I’m sure Madonna is not regretting getting that record deal and releasing ‘Like a Virgin’.

Dana White, Madonna, and a host of other successful people all have similar stories. They are all caring, creative, ambitious human beings who won’t take no for an answer, or let anyone get in the way of their goals. They can be caring, as well as ruthless in their ambition, depending on what the world calls for. I think we could all learn a little from them as we chase our own dreams in life.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Saturday I teach people how to choke other people.

Well, not every Saturday. Many classes have no chokes in them. Instead we work other Jiu Jitsu moves such as positioning, leg locks, arm bars, triangles, escapes, etc. However, many days, my job as an instructor is to teach people the best way to choke their opponents.

This is not just a physical thing. Sure there are sequential steps to properly apply a choke, but mostly, the art of choking someone is a mental battle. There is a certain philosophy to achieve success. It takes focus, faith in yourself, and most of all, patience.

I have actually found that the philosophy behind choking someone properly, and achieving success at something, are one and the same. In fact, the process is quite relative. The steps to securing a successful choke on someone are almost identical to the steps to succeeding at whatever you choose.

Let’s take a look, using the philosophy of applying the Rear Naked Choke, pictured below, as an example.

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Step 1: Set it Up right from the Start

Obvious, but very true. The set up is everything. If you have a bad setup, you will never succeed, be it a choke, or a business venture. You can not build anything solid on a shaky foundation. You have to put yourself in the proper position from the start to apply the choke successfully, or don’t bother wasting your energy. With the choke, everyone knows the hand has to be around the neck, but did you see in the picture how the feet (called hooks) are wrapped around his waist. This is also an important part of the set up that many beginners over look. Without the hooks, the person can roll out of the choke. Without putting yourself in the proper position, you will severely limit any chance for future success.

Step 2: Go for it.

The Choke is not going to come to you. It is one thing to finish a choke on someone while learning, and a whole other process to learn how to apply it in a real life situation when people are going live. No one is going to roll over and say, okay, I’m ready, choke me (at least I hope not). You have to commit yourself to going for it.

Step 3: Try, Try, and Try again.

Success in anthing takes trial and error. Sometimes their resistance is so strong, that you really have to slowly dig your hand under their chin just to slip it in there. It can be a tough road when people are competing against you to succeed. They never make it easy. However, once you succeed a few times, you’ll gain the confidence of a natural. The important thing is to be patient, and learn from your mistakes. Trust in the fact that eventually, over time, you will figure it out. Just continue to faithfully battle your hands around the neck of success until you see an opportunity to capitalize on it.

Step 4: Finish the move

You can’t believe it. You actually put yourself in the perfect position, and now the time is here to reach your goal and finish the choke. Take a deep breath, and relax. I know it has been a long road, but you don’t want to have to start all over again from the beginning. Stay focused.

Once you get a good grip with one hand on the neck, the next step is slipping in your other hand in to tighten the choke. This is where most people mess up. Setting up the choke, and getting the grip are the first two steps. They take patience, and so does this step. Remember, the closer you get to your goal, the harder the resistance is going to be.

However, you will remain calm, because you know you set up a solid foundation, properly applying the previous steps. Therefore, you will ignore the chaos around you as the other person fights vigorously to escape, simply focusing all your energy on finishing what you started. It is always the calm, steady approach, like a snake choking it’s lunch, that wins the war. Being over aggressive, or over anxious, will make your life 100x more difficult every time.

All in all, hopefully you will try to use these metaphorical tips achieve success in whatever your heart desires, and not just to try choking the people you know.

Well, at least not the good people.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

WARNING: The following article will obliterate any and all excuses you have created for why you can not be successful. If you wish to continue to effectively believe these excuses, please skip today’s post.

When I was a kid, I used to be sure that I was going to be rich. When I was in film school, I was sure I was going to be the next big movie director. And today, for the first time in a long time, I am sure of those things again. It’s just a matter of time.

I realized this the other day, before Jiu Jitsu class, while reading the back of a t-shirt. As stupid as that sounds, it is actually true. I’m sitting there stretching between classes and I see this printed on the back of my boy’s t-shirt

“What would you do if I told you, you could not fail”

I started thinking about YinvsYang immediately, and figured I’d write a post about the concept. However, I thought the quote could go even further. I started thinking about it, and suddenly, I realized something I could not believe. How did I not think of this before? My eyes popped open with excitement, like a kid who finally figures out the way to beat a tough video game. What I realized was…

Failure does not exist.

Take a minute to let this settle in for a second.

Failure does not really exist.

Think about it. What exactly is failure?

In the literal sense, ‘failure’ is a word. In the Oxford American dictionary, a ‘word’ is a single distinct conceptual unit of language, compromising inflected and various forms. Words are created by humans to have a meaning. Oxford American dictionary defines ‘failure’ in 2 ways.

1. A lack of success.

• An unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing
• lack of success in passing a test
• A grade that is not high enough to pass a test.

2. The action or state of not functioning.

• A sudden cessation of power
• The collapse of a business

Upon closer study, you see that ‘failure’ is only specific to a moment in time.

• Being unsuccessful means you have not reached success yet. That is time specific. It only takes having success once to realize your time ‘being unsuccessful’ was actually just the bumpy ‘road to success’.
• Failing a man made test happens at a specific time. Many students have failed a test, and then passed the class.
• A sudden cessation of power has different details behind it every time.
• Businesses only collapse once, unless they are rebuilt and collapse again. Either way, it’s unique to a moment in time. 

The point is you can fail in the short term hundreds of times, but that does not make you a failure in the long run. Failure is a word that is based on other’s perception. An unsuccessful person, and a grade that is not passing, are both defined by man. Man creates the test, and Man creates a definition of failing that test.

Unless you let a time that you fail be your last moment chasing that goal, how can you possibly be a failure? The answer is, you can’t. If you continue chasing your dreams, it is impossible to be considered a failure. You are just going down your path to success, and these are the bumps in the road you are facing. Each one you navigate over builds character, confidence, and wisdom. Just look at some these ‘failures’ we know about in life….

• Was Michael Jordan a failure when he got cut from his high school basketball team?
• Was Donald Trump a failure when his business went bankrupt?
• Was Abraham Lincoln a failure when the country broke out into Civil War?

The answer to all of these is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. If they would have gave up at those moments, then yes, they would have cemented failure for them self. However, they did not give up, and history shows that these men have been anything but failures.

‘Failure’ is not a term to define our life as a whole. It is used to define the sum of events up until right now. For example, if I fail my driving test, then right now, I am a failure. However, once I pass it, that is no longer the case. It just took me two times to succeed.

‘Failure’ is also a manmade term. Animals don’t understand failure. They are simply survivors. Whatever they fail at, they try again and again till they figure it out, or they move on and forget about it.

Failure does not exist, except in our own minds.

The mind is powerful, and can show you all sorts of potential devastating outcomes. However, the mind is a muscle. It needs to be developed and taught the right answers. The mind’s best teacher is experience. To get experience, you must fail over and over. These ‘failures’ are all just moments in time. Once you reach your goal, the ‘failures’ wind up becoming the obstacles you overcame. The bigger the failure, the bigger the obstacle, and subsequently, the better the story.

The fear of failure, is the fear of your own mind.

Anything we want to accomplish can be done, if we just realize the road to success is going to be bumpy on the way there. Many people try to travel the road to success, but as soon as the terrain gets rough, they turn and run back. Successful people keep going. They know the road to success is never easy, therefore they never expect it to be. In fact, they know the more difficult the terrain, the greater the success will be. It’s all relative.

Once you realize this, than the truth becomes obvious. We really can do anything we want to as long as we put our mind to it. Putting our mind to it means we are willing to deal with the terrain of the road we choose to travel.

Becoming successful is really all about answering the following questions, which you can do in the comments below.

1. What do you dream of doing?
2. Are you truly willing to deal with ALL the bumps in the road it takes to get there, even if you don’t know what those bumps are?

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Wednesday is Personal Development in Business, and this week, to make up for Monday, I included some Jiu jitsu as well.…

The last few months or so have been pressure packed for me. As you can tell by my various posting schedule, my time has been short. I have a budding business I am helping mold, major projects being released, and a growing list of clients to deal with. On top of that, money has been tight because I have been putting it all right back into the business, or working for pennies to build my portfolio. All in all, you could say it has been a tough, but very productive, first quarter of the year.

Considering the economy, I’m sure many of you have been dealing with similar problems in your business or job. Your mind is tied up with all sorts of issues while you try to hack out the best possible path in your life. You have bills, deadlines, worries, expenses, and not nearly enough time in the day to take care of them all. Your mind is clouded with these thoughts, and you want nothing more than for them to disappear.

If you are like me, then you toss concern to the side and just keep on pushing, knowing that at some point, the night will eventually fade into the spectacular splendor of dawn. At least that’s the hope  However, the other day in Jiu Jitsu, I noticed how much of an effect these thoughts have on our daily state of mind.

Performing at your Peak

When times are tough, it is more important than ever to have a clear mind, and attack problems with confidence and optimism. However, when times are tough, confidence and optimism can be hard to come by.

When training in Jiu Jitsu, if I have a clouded mind, I am completely off my game. I don’t have the same drive, or energy level needed to do my best. My mind is constantly wandering, and nothing seems too important until I’m put in a really bad position and forced to fight my way out. It’s as if I don’t even care until it’s almost too late.

I have found the same goes for life as well. When our minds our clouded, we tend to not want to deal with anything. There is too much on our plate already, and anymore will break the entire dish. Therefore, we tend to lose focus, trying to just to keep up as best we can. It seems each time we solve a problem, another has already built up enough to cover the part of the plate we just cleared. The cycle goes on and on, like a bad dream you can’t wake up from.

Clearing Your Mind

I realized this the other day, how can I possibly become successful if my day is spent focused on the negatives? How can I be optimistic in my approach to success, if all I deal with is one negative after the next?

The answer is you can’t. Remember, success is a state of mind. You do not get this state of mind after you are successful. That is called getting lucky. You develop this state of mind first, and that leads you to your success. Developing that state of mind is the first step to becoming successful beyond your wildest dreams.

Developing this state of mind is not something we are going to accomplish by the end of this article. No, that is something we have to continue to work on each and every day. However, by the end of this post, you will have a great base to build off of.

Developing the Successful State of Mind

Times are rough. There seems to be more problems than solutions in the current world.

For a person feeling down about their situation, this is a negative statement. They think like the majority: ‘there are too many problems to deal with, so we just do our best to get through it.’

For a successful entrepreneur, they see that statement as a gold mine of opportunity. A successful entrepreneur realizes that if there are more problems than solutions, then there must be a lot of opportunities to make money off of solutions.

This is an example of the state of mind you need to have to be successful. It is an optimistic state of mind, bordering on lunacy. Whether times are bad, or times are good, you know opportunity is everywhere. Each problem that comes your way is just another step on the old ladder. Success is all about how you perceive the environment around you. With this in mind, I have come up with…

5 Steps to a Successful State of Mind

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1. Take control

Today is today. Yesterday was yesterday. Tomorrow is not here yet. The first thing to do to clear your mind is to let go of all the nonsense out of your control. Let go of the past. Let go of all the possible future outcomes. Let go of anything you can not control right now. If it is not in your control at the present, then you can not concern yourself with it. You can only take care of the now.

2. One problem at a time

Too many times, as the problems start to pile up, people get overwhelmed with taking care of all of them at once. The bottom line is that to correctly solve a problem, you must focus on only one at a time. Write down your problems somewhere, prioritize them, and check off that list as you attack each one. Don’t worry about how long it takes. Just solve one, and move on to the next.

3.  Nothing is as serious as it seems.

When I was 18, I was deathly sick with Crohn’s disease. Out of the blue, in the middle of college, I lost over 60 pounds in a few months. They were not sure if I would ever be the same. Surgery was my only option. The reason I write this is because your health, and your loved one’s health, is all that really matters. Everything else may seem like a big deal, until you compare it with the value of good health. So when facing financial, business, or personal problems, remember, it could always be worse. Those problems are easy compared with some of the health issues others are forced to handle.

4. Enjoy the Challenge

Problems are fun, right? Maybe not while you are facing them, but afterwards, we always like to reminisce how we overcame the obstacles we face in life. It gives us character, and a sense of pride. Try to remember that while you are dealing with the problem. Look forward to be able to one day talk about how ‘it was really no big deal’. I will even go so far as to advise you to pretend in your mind that you already solved the problem, and see what it feels like. Get a glimpse of that feeling of success, and then hold on to it for motivation during the hard times.

5. Believe in Yourself

If you don’t believe you can be successful, then stop reading, shut down your browser, and start thinking about changing careers. Your belief in your own success does not get tested when times are good. No, belief in your own success gets tested when times are rough. A true success thinks like the aviator Howard Hughes. Even when the whole world is laughing at your feeble attempts to reach your seemingly impossible goals, you know that just makes it all the more glorious when you come through. It is this belief that carries you through the darkest times of your journey.

6. Take responsibility

Each problem you face is a test of your resolve. It is up to you and you alone to make sure a solution is found. It is not up to your friends, families, co-workers, or relatives. It is not up to fate. Life is what you make it, and if you give up trying to make it, then nothing and no one can help you out. You must fight hard to stay focused and take responsibility.It will by no means be an easy task, but you can overcome anything you put your mind to. I can not tell you how long it will take, but any problem can be solved over time. Just look at what one of the smartest people in our history said…

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer .”
–Albert Einstein

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

Becoming focused on our goals is the best way to achieve them. We can learn about how to improve that focus from MMA fighters.

For a Mixed Martial Arts Fighter to be great, they must have incredible focus. Not just during the fight, but also in the months leading up to it. Focus is what a fighter gets better at as they gain more experience. The things that were once distractions, like the crowd, making weight, etc., seem to dissipate into thin air as they evolve into a better, more experienced fighter.

This is very noticeable by looking at the careers of some of the Ultimate Fighter Reality Show veterans such as Forrest Griffin, Diego Sanchez, Joe Stevenson, Keith Jardine, Kenny Florian, and others. Since that show went on the air, there have been many fighters that have got their jump to fame from starring in it. However, the ones that last are the ones that evolve, like Kenny Florian. If you look at his fights on the first season, compared to now, you can see the elevation of his focus. He gets better each time, as his focus improves with every fight.

Improving Your Focus

Improving your focus does not mean you try harder, nor does it mean before those fights, you were unfocused. It just means you were not focused on what you needed to be in order to be your best. Being focused is about learning to focus on what is important to focus on, if that made any sense.

It’s about experience, and learning from it. As a fighter, you can not focus your energy on the possibility of losing, or on what the crowd might think, or even on winning. You have to focus on the task at hand. That means you have to put yourself in the best possible state of mind to be able to handle any and all adversity that is thrown your way. Being focused is ultimately about being as prepared as you can be for whatever obstacles come your way.

Using a Fighter’s Focus in Real Life

In life, as always, the process is much the same. We may be focused on getting rich, paying our bills, becoming famous, or getting the best job. However, in truth, what we need to focus on is putting ourselves in the best possible frame of mind to achieve our goals. We need to focus on ourselves as a person, and what it takes to improve that person on a daily basis.

Don’t worry about the distractions, the naysayers, or even those that support you. All of it means nothing in the end. Sure it is nice to get some support, and we all hate the haters of the world, but neither of these polar opposites is going to get you where you are going. In truth, the world is a lonely place when it comes to success. Either you make it yourself, or you don’t, no matter the level of hate, or the level of support.

Think of it like a fighter. His corner is supporting him. The crowd may love or hate him. The other corner is completely against him. Yet, none of this really matters once the cage doors shut. It is at that moment, that we truly find out about the fighter’s focus.

The same goes for you trying to accomplish something. Every one has an opinion, comment, and/or advice for you when you are chasing a goal. Some of it helps, and some of it does not. However, it has nothing to do with your focus. If you are focused on your goal, like a fighter is focused on winning in the cage, then you will accomplish more than your fair share of success. It is just a matter of time.

So for you all, I have come up with….

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5 Ways to Sharpen Your Focus to the Level of a Cage Fighter and Reach Your Goals:

1. Identify the end goal. If this was a cage fight, your end goal is to do the best you can in the ring. The bonus is winning. The goal is to put yourself in a position to win.

2. Identify what YOU can do to help reach this goal. Only concentrate on what is in your control. If it is out of your control, then disregard it.

3. Set up a plan to attack this goal, and help you breakdown key milestones to reach. An example would be a fighter who wants to cut to a certain weight a week before the fight. The plan would be the diet. The milestone would be the weight.

4. Each day, ask yourself, what have you done to further yourself toward your goal. Every day, there should be an answer. Every day!

5. If reaching this goal is dependent on a big moment, similar to a fight, make sure you are focused on how to handle that moment. The way you accomplish that is by being as prepared as you can possibly be, while at the same time, being prepared for anything unexpected. This is done through relentless preparation, till you reach a point of such confidence, that no matter what, you can’t imagine not reaching your goal.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

“Sometimes your the hammer, sometimes your the nail.”

This is a saying everyone at my Jiu Jitsu school knows. My instructor is a big fan of repeating it because it sums up exactly what Jiu Jitsu is all about. In Jiu Jitsu, MMA, and in life, in order to truly master something, you must understand all aspects of it. You can not possibly master Jiu jitsu without understanding what it’s like to be both the hammer and the nail.

Being the hammer means you are putting a beat down on the nail. Being the nail is the opposite, meaning someone is putting the beat down on you. Everyone who comes into Jiu Jitsu wants to, and sometimes expects to, be the hammer. You’ve seen people train on the UFC, and you’ve watched some of the moves on YouTube, so you think you are pretty well prepared. Maybe you even have a wrestling background, or are an animal at the local gym. Regardless, you walk into that first class with the expectations of a champion.

Learning off Experience

This is where it can all go wrong for a first timer. No matter what your background is, and no matter how tough or in shape you are, there is nothing that can fully prepare you for Jiu Jitsu. It is similar to other types of ground fighting, and yes, you need to be in good shape, but neither of these are the obstacles that will stop you from becoming the hammer. The true obstacle is experience.

Experience is what makes us who we are. In order to become the hammer, you must first be the nail. There is no escaping it. Even if you come in and do well against other white belts, you are not going to hang with the other practitioners who have been sweating on the mat 4x a week for the last few years. Simply put, experience trumps all else.

The same goes for life. As humans, we have a habit of pumping ourselves up with these enormous expectations. We dream of being the hammer in everything we do. Yet, when we become the nail, a myriad of excuses flood our mind. It can’t be. There must be something wrong. How could someone like me not do well?

It is because of the lack of experience. If you are inexperienced at something, why would you think you can do well against other, more experienced individuals? We have a word for people like that. They are called prodigies. Prodigies, as we all know, are extremely rare. So unless you think you are a prodigy at something, maybe you should try and lower your expectations. Believe it or not, it actually will help you get to where you want to be.

The Roadblock of Expectations

The problem with the high expectations is that it actually stunts your growth. I have seen a ton of strong, muscular athletes come into Jiu Jitsu. They start out way above other white belts because they are able to muscle out of submissions, and muscle other inexperienced people into tapping. However, they also take the longest to develop. The reason is, because they can rely on their muscle, they tend to do so instead of learning the proper technique. So they tend to consistently play the hammer with white belts and get beat down like a nail by everyone else with more experience.

On the flip side, the person who comes into train Jiu Jitsu with no expectations is always the most dangerous. They simply approach it like anything else, and jump right in. If they lose, they get up and try again. If they win, they get up and try again. Neither matters, because during every match they are soaking up as much knowledge as they can. They are not worried about being a winner or a loser. They are only worried about improving.

If you can approach every challenge in life this way, you will find the road to success a much smoother path. I think a lot of the obstacles we face in life are of our own doing. Many times, myself included, we put pressure on ourselves to be who we think we should be, without taking into consideration who we really are.

A perfect example of this is my film career. In film school, I was so concerned with being the next film prodigy, that I almost gave it all up when it seemed impossible. However, now I realize I should have just been doing what I am doing now: working each day to improve at it as much as I can. Because, as the saying goes…

“Sometimes your the hammer, sometimes your the nail.”

Regardless, you are always learning, so learn to enjoy both sides of the coin.

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