Recently, a friend of mine reached out to me about his problems. What transpired from our chat really opened up both of our minds. It’s quite amazing how trying to help people who no one else is willing to, can really help yourself.

My friend has currently lost his way in the world. His addictions have left him with no home, no family, no respect, and worse of all, a boatload of guilt. However, every chance my friend was ever given was never enough. Every hand that reached out to him was eventually bitten with regret for doing so. When everyone else said ‘no’, and someone believed in my friend, he would let them down every time.

People will say people like this are losers, addicts, weak, etc., and would probably be justified in doing so for the most part. I feel like even if they are all of these things, they are still a person who has accepted being so, something I find quite interesting. How does that happen? How does one settle to such a life?

As my friend and I were talking, he said something subtly that I couldn’t let go. He was speaking about his recent home in an island paradise, and how when he first went there, ‘I expected to find a wife, a new life, and happiness.’

At first, it was great. He was clean, had a job, a nice place, and some hope. But then life caught up when he lost his job after an argument with a co worker. He was denied unemployment, kicked out of his place, and had to live in a hostel because no one will lend an ex-addict money, not even family.

My friend confided how each experience like this digs a deeper whole in his soul. He is conflicted. On one hand, he says and believes he wants to be this ‘normal’ person with his own family, a job, and a small house somewhere. On the other hand, his actions show he chases every trail of debauchery he can find. This dual persona causes a deep depression and guilt for his choices in life.

As he was confiding this to me, I could not get over what he first said.

…I expected to find a wife, a job, a new life, and happiness.

…I expected….

That’s when it hit me. That was my friend’s entire problem. From day one, I realized he had this same reoccurring problem and it ruined his outlook. I also realized that is the same problem we all have. We all suffer from this, to one degree or another.

The problem is simply our expectations. Expectations play a huge part in our outlook on life. Think of it this way. If someone from meager beginnings grows up to get a small job, a wife, and enough money for his family to just live comfortably, they will feel great about their success.

If the same life was lived by someone from a wealthy background, they would probably feel like they were a failure. This is because, in their wealthy young life, they grew up expecting to live a certain way, at a certain standard. We all have these expectations, even now. We all picture where we ’should be’ in life.

However, what if these seemingly motivating pictures (or goals as some may say) are the essence of our problems? What if when these pictures do not come true, we miss out on life’s true happiness simply because it is not as we pictured?

I think that is a major part of humanity’s issues. We all have these grand expectations for everything as human beings. We all do our best to live up to them. Some of us are even willing to die, or kill, to meet those expectations. Some of us are having a hard time dealing with not meeting those expectations, and are racked with self loathing guilt over it.

Life for me has changed as I have tried recently to forego all my expectations. Maybe it’s not so important where we are supposed to be. Maybe all that is important is where we really are, and what action we can take from there. Maybe we need to not only watch our own expectations, but also the expectations we place on others.

Think of all the times you expected someone to do something, or act a certain way, or do as you would have done in a situation. Think of all the times you were disappointed when people did not do as you thought. Then think about this.

If you never had those expectations, would you feel differently about those people? What if you just learned from those let downs? For example, if somebody blurted out a secret you confided in them, you would probably be livid. You expected they would keep it a secret. However, once they do not, isn’t easier to just understand that person can not keep a secret?

Instead, most of us, or at least me, tend to focus our energies on getting even, or getting back at this person for not meeting OUR expectations. I mean, who are we that we think we know the right way for everyone else to act?

Yet we all tend to think we do. We were each raised with these expectations for ourselves. They are not only self created. Our environments and life experience have played a major role in our expectations. Typically, these expectations define who we are, and our level of happiness in life.

Is it possible to forego all expectation in life. I actually think it is quite fun. It really opens up new doors you never imagined. While I spent most of my life closing all of these doors to people who did not live up to one expectation or another, I now try not to close any doors. Every person’s life experience can be useful in this world. Even people you loathe.

It may sound crazy, but try dropping your expectations for everything. Try not expecting the movie you go see to be great, or the dinner at the restaurant to be perfect, or the traffic on the way to work to be suddenly gone. Try just to take life as it comes, and roll with the punches. It has really helped me deal with many of my personal issues in life.

My friend was also taken back by this. For at least one night, his mind was opened, and there was a sense of relief. He wondered if maybe I was right. Is it possible the whole time he was just angry and could not deal with people living up to his expectations, including himself? Is it possible everything in his life would be different if he didn’t harbor these heavy expectations on his shoulders?

I don’t know. It’s just a thought….

If you are not literally ‘battling’ for success, then chances are, success is not going to find you. Even someone I grew up with, now known worldwide as ‘the situation’, battled through a lot just to make it on to that reality show that made him famous. I’m not going to go into details, but trust me, the kid could not get someone to get a slice of pizza with him 2 weeks after the show stopped filming. Now, everyone I know talks about him and how ‘lucky’ he is.

I’m not a big believer in luck. I kind of think, bad or good, everyone has luck. It’s how you deal with everything else that matters. Battling for success is about understanding first & foremost that it is going to be a battle. A tough one at that. It is going to take everything you have to win this battle. There will be many ups and downs that cloud your confidence. Staying focused is the key.

Understanding how to battle your way to success is going to come from inside you. Only you know about the ‘voices’ or ‘intuition’ you get when you know you should do something, but you don’t want to. That is part of the battle. In fact, as I said before, you should try to look forward to the things you don’t want to do, cause each one brings you closer to your goal.

Reaching that goal is what this site is dedicated to helping you with. So, with that in mind, I have put together a few lessons I have learned about battling toward my goal of success, which is to make a living doing what I love.

Enjoy the Storm

As I write this there is a Winter Storm blaring on par with a level 2 Hurricane out my window. It’s a perfect analogy for the battle to success. Success is like a far destination you have to get to in this kind of weather. At first the road may seem easy to navigate, but as the weather worsens, and the storm picks, up, things will get extremely difficult to manage.

The way you react to these obstacles is what defines your success. Think of it this way. If you are driving in a snowstorm, what’s the best way to drive?

If you step on the gas, rev your engine, and peel out down the snow-covered block, chances are you will not get too far before the sound of metal crunching is heard.

If you put on your emergency lights, and drive 2 miles per hour, stopping every time the car seems to slip the slightest bit, as your two ghost-white sweaty palms grip the steering wheel like life depended on it, chances are you should not even bother getting on the road. Ever notice, car accidents happen a lot to people who seem solely focused only on avoiding them?

The best approach to driving in a snow storm is to take your time, not overreact, and calmly assess each situation on the road as it comes up. You have to come to a calm understanding that, even though things are really bad outside, you can handle it. In fact, you live to handle it.

There’s Only One Way to Get a Black Belt

Once you understand you are in a battle, you will realize you have to take your lumps too. Can’t become a great fighter without getting beat up. It’s just not possible. Same goes for success. You are going to make mistake after mistake. Some people call this failure. I call it learning. In fact, I have yet to meet a success that had not lived through some sort of failure.

There is a saying in Jiu Jitsu that there is only one difference between someone who gets a black belt, and someone who does not. It is not their athleticism, or their physique. It is not their genetics, their technique, or their personality. It is only one simple thing that separates every white belt who ever got on the mat and the people who eventually succeeded in getting black belts. Do you know what that difference is?

The black belts kept coming. That’s it. If any of those white belts would have done the same, eventually, they would have became black belts themselves. Maybe not as fast, or at the same pace, but they would have eventually reached their goal.

The point of the story for you is, what ever your goal, you must get on the mat. If you want to win the lottery, you must first play a ticket. If you want to hit a home run, you must first strike out (or get really lucky). If you want to be successful, you must first….TRY! Then you must try, try, try again, until you get there. No matter how long it takes, you will not give up.

Success is a mindset!

Being successful at anything is all about your mindset, not your finances, or your clothing brand, or your material things. Take all of that away from a successful person, and chances are they will get it right back. That’s because they believe they are successful.

If you can’t picture yourself successful, or you judge every detail of your journey as a make or break moment, then you will not be successful. Successful people are like black belts. They know, whatever challenges they face, they will be successful. They know if they fail a challenge, they will just come right back and try again. However, this time, they will be even stronger from their previous defeat.

It is this mindset that lead successful people to their goals. They are not just lucky, or born more fortunate. They simply have taken the hand life dealt them and rolled with it. If someone’s got a better hand, so be it. If someone’s hand is worse, so be it too. After all, it’s not the cards, but how you play them.

In life, it’s not the battles that matter, it’s simply how you choose to fight them.

Based on this experience, I thought it would be a great value to list the top ten lessons I have learned on the web as a business, blogger, and every day web surfer.

1. Information is Today’s Money Maker

Welcome to the information age. On the web, people, businesses, and anyone in between are all after one thing: Information. They will stop at nothing to get it, mercilessly entering phrases into their favorite search engine until they find what they seek. You do it, I do it, we all do it. Now that we know what everyone is after, we can move on.

2. Branding is Everything

Branding your business, or self, is the key to success on the web. Remember, people are looking for information. Once you figure out what information you are going to provide, the next step is to build a ‘brand’ around it. You don’t have to be Nike to take branding your business serious. Know what value your information holds, who is after it, and then brand yourself as that answer. Branding encompasses your web design, brand message, and defines who you are in the minds of your target market.

3. The Value of Your Information or Service = Your ROI

We understand that everyone is after information. However, a key to success on the web is using web analytics (tracking) to help determine exactly how many people are actually searching for that information daily. You may be the foremost expert on how to build doghouses from snow, but if no one is looking for that information, it is useless to start a blog or business about it.

I am not going to get into the depths of analytics, and how to use the information. There are endless resources on the web that can explain it much better than me. In fact, that’s how I learned. Just be sure you understand the value of being able to see how much of a market there is for your idea, before you dive into it.

4. The Web is the Central Hub for any Business

Years ago, if people wanted information, they had to find it. If a business created a brochure, commercial, or even a website, they focused their efforts on giving as much information as possible all at once, for fear of the client not getting more than one impression.

Well obviously, the web has changed everything. Now businesses know, whatever marketing they do, the target market is most likely to check the website before contacting the business. It’s just easier for them. Why go to the hassle of calling someone, and speaking to them, when the information is only a few clicks away?

Businesses know this, and the trend has been toward more enticing marketing pieces with less information. In fact, the less, the better. Put the relevant information on your site, and let that be the ‘central hub’ of information for your business. That means, if anyone wants to know anything about your blog, or business, they have to go to the site to find out. The marketing pieces simply concentrate on spreading your brand’s message, not necessarily the info about it.

5. Social Media takes time for any ROI

So you opened up a twitter account, and now what? You have been tweeting away, even on Facebook, and trying all sorts of things to gain traffic. After a few months of effort, it is getting kind of redundant. What can you do?

You may not want to hear this, but just keep going. Social Media can take time, and a little luck, to really work for you. The basic idea is to keep plugging away until you get what you are looking for. Do not pay much attention to the ’subscriber number flexing’ of other sites. Simply put, concentrate on putting out the best information you can, and tough it out. Eventually, if your information is valuable enough, the fruits of your labor will begin to blossom.

6. Every Social Media weapon has its Uses

Okay, so I signed up for twitter, facebook, linkedin, myspace, digg, reddit, stumbleupon, and every forum I could find, but I have not had much success. What’s the deal?

If this sounds like you, let me help you out. Social Media tools, like the above sites, are like Martial Arts weapons. You don’t have to master every weapon to become an effective Martial Artist. You start off mastering one, and when you are done with that, then you move on. The same goes for the web. Try out one Social Media weapon at a time, and see how it truly works. If you just jump all over everything, you may never see which one truly should be your brand’s weapon of choice.

7. Practice makes Permanent

Like anything else in life, practicing using the web to your advantage is the only way to learn. You can read up on methods, ideas, and strategies all day, but the truth is, until you try them for yourself, you never know how they will work. Every blog, business, and entity is slightly different from the rest. What works for one, may not work for the other. That’s okay. Just put the time in, and everything else will follow.

8. Your Competition is Your Friend

Growing up in the real world, I learned all about the sometimes cutthroat competition between similar businesses. Well, the web has changed that too. Now, your biggest competition is also your biggest asset.

Remember, we spoke about the value of information for a target market. This blog is all about the daily battle for success in life. It is a personal development (PD) blog, which means, that other PD blogs are my FRIEND.

How can that be? Well remember, people who read PD blogs are my target market. On the web, it is quite easy to surf from one blog to another. So chances are, if they like my competition’s blog, they will probably enjoy mine as well, and vice versa. That is why if you link up with the competition, both of you can benefit from each other’s traffic.

9. Building a Web Presence is Hard G** Damn Work

Sounds so easy, right? Well don’t get too excited. Building a web presence takes relentless effort and dedication to be successful. It rarely happens overnight, and if it does, there was probably a lot of work prior to getting to that point. So tuck your chin, and get on the virtual mat to take your lumps. Think of it this way. If you are not working on getting that traffic, that traffic isn’t stopping. It’s going somewhere else.

10. Can it Be That it is All So Simple?

Love ending with a Wu-Tang classic! The truth is, using the web to your advantage is really simple. It takes a plan, execution, and then you make adjustments, and start again. Simply put, you have to put in the work to learn how business works. However, be warned, there is no excuse. Every piece of information you desire is located somewhere on this world wide wondrous web, which means success is only fingertips away.

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What is money? I mean, really, what is this paper that everyone including myself obsesses their life over to the point that it controls the outcome of everything we do?

“Money is anything that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts. The main functions of money are distinguished as: a medium of exchange, a unit of account, a store of value, and occasionally, a standard of deferred payment” -source

So basically, money is what we need to live, or else we will not be able to survive comfortably. This includes shelter, food, clothing, and maybe even more important today, technology too.  The more we chase money, the more security we will have in life.

Well, I am not so sure this is the proper way to think about money anymore.

In fact, thinking about money at all is probably the single biggest thing holding all of us back.

It certainly has held me back for years. I went to film school, graduated with a nomination as best director for my thesis film, and then went on to chase money for years. I did not know how to make money with my video skills. I refused to do weddings, sweet sixteens, and bar/bat mitzvahs as that really did not interest me. Instead, I fell into an easy job selling mortgages through my connections in Jiu Jitsu.

Mortgages were not my passion, but I needed money. I told myself that if I got enough money, I would be able to live out my passion. Let me repeat that.

I rationalized that if I got enough money doing mortgages, then I would be able to do what I love and make videos.

Now, I realize this is backwards logic. Not only did I fail doing mortgages, but I hated every minute of it. I would cringe when people would ask what I did. Not that there is anything wrong with doing mortgages, it’s just everyone knew I loved to do film. So inevitably, the next question after I responded ‘mortgages’ was, ‘what happened to film?’

What happened to it was I had the wrong logic. I could not make enough money doing mortgages because I did not love doing it. It was not for me. I was a creative video guy. I love movies, art, music, jiu jitsu, mma, and writing. I don’t love financial indexes, treasuries, and interest rates.

In order to be successful in life, we must do what we love.

There is no other option, no matter what we rationalize in our head. It is inevitable, otherwise we will be miserable. You do not start out chasing money to do what you love. You do what you love, and watch the money chase you.

Let me re-write the second paragraph in this post, from right under the quote from wikipedia, replacing the word ‘money’ with ‘our passion’.

‘So basically, our passion is what we need to live, or else we will not be able to survive comfortably. This includes shelter, food, clothing, and maybe even more important today, technology too.  The more we chase our passion, the more security we will have in life.’

Now that makes more sense.

Money only exists in our minds. It is easy to see the relationship between having a lot of money and getting the things you desire. However, you are not visualizing the road to get a lot of money if this is the case.

Navigating down the road to get a lot of money takes hard work, dedication, persistence, perseverance, and passion to be able to overcome the many, many, many obstacles you will encounter. Without a love for what you do, you will not survive. You see, in order to get to the end of this road, you must travel a long time without the security of a good financial situation. And since money will not be there with you, there must be something else motivating you to reach your goal. That motivation is your passion, or doing what you love.

For me, the plan for my life has become quite simple:

1. Do what I love & Build My Reputation.
2. Survive.
3. Succeed.

Don’t let money cloud your mind like I did. Don’t let money be a deciding factor in how you spend your life. There is no security in money. It does not really exist, and therefore, can disappear at anytime. Security comes from doing what you love, and learning how to make that work for you.

(taken from my iphone)

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

I have been quite busy lately, and not able to write as often as I like. Actually, I probably could if I wanted to, but I honestly have been focused elsewhere.

One of the great things this break has given me is a chance to really re-evaluate some of the things I wanted to write. Well, I was lucky enough to see an example of this in the flesh when Robert Drysdale gave a seminar at my Jiu Jitsu school.

For those that don’t know, Robert Drysdale is one of the top Jiu Jitsu guys in the world. He was Randy Couture’s Jiu Jitsu coach on season 1 of the Ultimate Fighter, and he most recently was Frank Mir’s coach against Brock Lesnar at UFC 100.

I have been to many Martial Arts seminars by greats such as Royler Gracie, David Adiv, Joel Brutus, and Rodrigo Pinheiro. All of their seminars were filled with excellent technique demonstrations, powerful lessons, and incredible learning experiences. However, there is one way that Robert Drysdale’s seminar differed from all the rest.

He incorporated more than just the technique, he included lessons on attitude as well.

When he would show a move, he would talk about two parts. First, he spoke of how & when to perform the technique he was teaching. Secondly, he spoke about the state of mind needed to pull off the move. So for example, when facing a larger opponent, he spoke of completing 3 moves to every one that the larger guy does. This is how you use your speed to an advantage as a smaller individual.

It was very interesting to hear what I have been privately learning since I started Jiu Jitsu. The techniques are all teachable and easy to learn. However, in the state of mind you have during battle that determines how successful you are.

It is amazing how much an effect your state of mind has on your performance!

In life and in business, it is much the same. The art of making money, building a business, and doing the work is rather simple when you think about it. It is the state of mind you take into work everyday that makes all the difference. It is the vigor you attack the obstacles in the way of achieving your goals that matters most.

And, most importantly, as Robert Drysdale mentioned, it is the attitude of a winner that allows you to overcome any challenge. Being afraid of losing is the same as being afraid of winning.

What matters is building the confidence in yourself that you can solve and meet any challenges you face.

Then, when you wind up in a tough predicament, you will be confident you can overcome that too, b/c you have done it before, and can do it again.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Life can be very confusing with all the stimulus our mind has to deal with each day. We have bills to pay, family to make happy, work to do, bosses/clients to satisfy, dreams of a better life, and reality standing in our way.

All of this stimulus can really throw a wrench in our ability to prioritize what is really important, and what appears important on a daily basis. There is so much going on that we don’t know what we should focus on. Instead, we try to focus on it all.

I experienced the same type of situation while gaining rank in Jiu Jitsu. When I was a white belt, there was so much going on that I tried to pay attention to, my mind was unable to keep up with more experienced and athletic opponents. Everything my opponent did seemed like a battle for life or death.

Over time, as I got more comfortable, I learned to relax my mind and only pay attention to what is important. You see, all of the stuff I was paying attention to seemed important when I was a white belt. That is why every time my opponent moved, I reacted, or more likely, over reacted. This is because I did not understand what was, and was not important. Since I was not sure, I had to fight every battle as if it was my last.

Now that I am a purple belt (before brown) and carry five years of real experience, I do not react to my opponent’s every move. Each situation I get into, I am able to focus on what is important and disregard what used to appear important. So if my opponent is threatening a move, I know whether or not to take it seriously because I understand my priorities in each position I have experience in. In simple terms, I carefully pick my battles.

Life is much the same, though we don’t gain rank with colored belts. Instead, we gain rank in happiness. Much like any martial art, achieving happiness takes hard work. It is not easy to be happy. In order to truly be at peace with ourselves, we need to understand what we want in life.

On this Earth, no matter who we are, there is one thing we all have in common. That is time. Time is all any of us really have. If every government in the world toppled, and money no longer existed, time would still march on. There is no stopping it. The only thing you can do is roll with it. You can not save time. You have to spend it. So the question is, what do you invest your daily time in?

Valuing your time is a great way to prioritize your focus and motivate yourself. Remember, there is no choice on whether you spend your time or not. You are spending it regardless. Might as well get the most value out of it, no? If you look at the world from the view point of your time’s value, it becomes much easier to deal with the daily negativity and dilemmas we all face.

Here are some examples from my life:

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Someone says something bad about me.

In the past, I might try to confront them. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep until I did confront them. But now, I think of it in terms of my time’s value. Is it worth my time to deal with something somebody said? Or is it better to just move on and focus on my dreams?

I need to pay my bills, but I also have to grow my business.

My bills tell me I should get a job to pay them now. However, time tells me I need to invest as much of it as possible in my business to be successful. This helps me realize that, for me, growing my business takes priority over paying my monthly bills because it is my dream to earn a living doing what I love. It may suck for a little while, but in the end, I will be enjoying the time I spend working, and easily paying my bills.

Which job should I take?

Many of us look at one thing when it comes to work: the salary. We judge each job opportunity by the size of the salary and benefits package. However, when you take time into consideration, the salary does not seem so important. If I am going to spend the MAJORITY of my time doing something, I better be happy while I am doing it, or getting something equal to it’s investment.

If I am going to be miserable, even if the pay is good, it is not worth the time. On the same note, if I am going to spend my time to pay my bills each month, only to leave the job years later and have to immediately find another to pay my bills because I was unable to save, what is the point? I’d rather invest my time to help me climb up the financial ladder, then to just spend all my time moving laterally.

I can’t do that.

No matter what it is, this right here is the biggest bunch of baloney in the entire English language. This phrase should be banned for its lunacy. If all we have is time, then we certainly can do anything we put our mind to. We may not want to do something, or we may be afraid to do something, but saying we can’t do anything is just ludicrous. If we invest the time, anything is possible.

I really want to reach this goal, but I don’t have the time.

Well, if you’ve read this far you certainly understand that you do have the time. In fact, that is all we have. Now, your time may be tied up with other things, but the question is, what is more important to you: Spending your time doing other things that appear important, or taking the initiative to spend your time do what you always dreamed?

I’ll tell you this: No one ever accidentally lived a dream life.

How much do you value your time?

Are you spending the majority of your time doing what you love? Does getting up in the morning feel good, or is it the first of a long series of dreaded events in your day?

Remember, time is all we really have. We get to decide how we spend it and just like money, it is an investment. What are you investing your time in? Is the end result really worth it, or are you just delaying the inevitable?

Only time will tell.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

It took only one human to invent electricity, one to discover the theory of relativity, one doctor to cure polio, and one man to lead the civil rights movement of the 60s. Albert Einstein had a problem, Jonas Salk had a mission, Martin Luther King had a dream, Thomas Edison had a goal, and hundreds like them had the same courage to live out their dreams no matter what that entailed.

Albert Einstein once said ‘It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.’

Martin Luther King had a dream that many were afraid to listen to, yet he told the world about it.

Jonas Salk tested the initial polio vaccine on his wife, daughter, and himself.

Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he revolutionized the world by inventing the incandescent light bulb.

All of these men were not afraid to be themselves, and trust in who they were, especially when times were rough. They knew the obstacles they faced caused everyone else to run in the opposite direction, however they stayed the course because they believed in themselves, no matter what that meant.

The question is, are you afraid to be yourself and live out your dreams?

This is not a challenging question, but rather one to be contemplated for a bit. You see, I can admit that I was very afraid to be myself for a long time. If you would have asked me then, I would have told you you were crazy, and probably tried to fight you (ooooh, to be young again).

Finding ourselves

Being who we are can be very difficult at times, especially when it conflicts with those around us. That is why there are so many mean people in the world. They are mean because they are afraid to be themselves, and some, rightfully so. Being themselves has caused others to mock, pick on, or worse, even physically hurt them. The world can be a tough place when you try to walk your own path. However, the end result is you wind up where no one else has before.

Being honest with ourself is another daily challenge we all face. Are we really listening to ourselves, or are we listening to our own excuses? It is the complexity of our mind that can make self honesty such a challenge. Yet, if we can truly be honest with ourselves, our life intelligence will grow at a rapid pace.

It took major surgery and a year of being stricken with a severe case of Crohn’s disease for me to see the importance of being myself. I was 18 years old, and faced with the prospect of never living a normal life again. After that experience, I started to chase what I love in life. There have been some bumps in the road since then, but somehow, I always wind up back on the same course toward my dreams. Sometimes a tragic experience can have an effect where suddenly, everything you thought was important means nothing now. In another words, your mind is cleared from all the bullshit we encounter in our lives, so it can see what really is important in our life.

Just Go Do It

Being yourself is not as easy as we might think. It takes hard, consistent work. Our brains are extremely adept at rationalization. So you may want to be that baseball player, but your brain will rationalize whether or not you can before you even try. You may think you are not big enough, or fast enough, or strong enough, or athletic enough, or even lucky enough. Whatever rationalization works best, your brain will find to avoid failure.

However, if we were never told such things, and wanted to be a ball player, we would simply just go out and do it.

What I have found is that being yourself is a challenge worth undertaking. It is like an individual revolution all inside your head. Suddenly, the straps are off, and you are free to roam the world fueled by your passion, without the chains of other’s judgement and/or opinion to hold you down. Every decision you make is actually decided internally, and not through three phone conversations and your Facebook friends list.

Standing Out is a Superpower

Being yourself is the only true way to stand out from the crowd, and conquer your dreams. You may think and feel like everyone else, but we are all unique in certain ways. It can be our passions, dreams, goals, or simply confidence that we can go where no one else has gone before, that separates us from the pack. Whatever it is, it is certainly worth pursuing.

Becoming an individual is like having a superpower, and not the crap super powers you see on twitter either. It is a superpower of individuality. No longer will you have to have others think for you. No longer will you accept the spoken word as fact. No longer will you live an ordinary life. It will become extraordinary, because it becomes your own.

Life in pursuit of your dreams is a sacrifice many of us are unwilling to undertake. There is much bark, but little bite when it comes down to the moment of truth. I think this is because the first, and hardest step, is going out on our own and simply being who we are, no matter what that means. People may not admit it, but there is a certain respect we have for someone who does their own thing, even if it’s not our thing. If we were to dig deeper in our psyche, I bet we would find that that respect is based on a hint of jealousy we have not done the same.

Everyday I work on being myself. I discover new things, work on my weaknesses, and continue to grow. We all do, whether we realize it or not. Some days are better than others. I can safely say that it is not a steady climb up the mountain. Some days we climb up, and some days we fall down. However, if we keep pursuing that goal, there is only one possible destination.

If you need a reminder stronger than this, check out the stories of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Jonas Salk, and Thomas Edison. Believe it or not, they were not that much different than you.

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every person in the world runs into at least one problem a day. When you are a business owner, it can seem like you run into a problem per minute. Every time you solve one dilemma, an even tougher one seems to pop up out of nowhere. 

Dealing with problems is part of the job description for every entrepreneur. If you are not dealing with them, you are certainly delegating who is. Either way, you are going to set the tone for how problems are handled in your business, and better know the difference between problem solving and problem evolving.

If you tend to get emotional, your staff will do the same. If you tend to ignore the problems, your staff will follow suit. If you are waiting for someone to care more about your business than you, you are simply not cut from entrepreneurial cloth. Your business is your baby. Problems come with the business. Therefore, problems become your baby. The question is, are you a problem evolver, or a problem solver?

Problem Evolvers

Oxford American dictionaries states the definition of evolve is ‘to develop gradually, from a simple to a complex form‘. When a problem arises in a business, a problem evolver takes the initial problem and begins to mold it into something much, much worse. Their focus is solely on the problem, it’s possible consequences, and how they can be affected by it the least.

Problem evolvers tend to constantly bring up the problem, it’s inevitable doom, and who is to blame. They focus on the problem, who is responsible for it, and what consequences that party shall face. Instead of focusing on the solution, they make the person most responsible for the problem the target of their energy.

Problem Solvers

To solve a problem, according to Oxford American, means to ‘find an answer to, explanation for, or means for effectively dealing with (a problem or a mystery).‘ Essentially, problem solvers treat problems like a big game. They turn problems into fun riddles and challenges that drive them to find solutions.

Problem solvers never pinpoint blame, even if it is rightfully deserved. They don’t see an employee or a client as a problem. They see the position that that employee or client was put in as the problem. Problem solvers don’t worry about the potential consequences. They focus on how to surpass those obstacles, even when it seems there is no hope of doing so. Problem solvers remain calm, cool, and collected in order to take a fresh approach to the problem. After all, it is a game, and they want to win as much as possible.

The Unavoidable Truth

Truth be told, if you are in business, you are going to have to learn to deal with problems on a consistent basis. The growth of your business, especially if it’s yours, solely depends on your ability to navigate through the daily, sometimes seemingly insurmountable problems that swoop in like rain clouds on a sunny day.

If you can’t avoid them, you might as well learn to enjoy them. Become a problem solver, make it all a game, and challenge yourself to lead your business through whatever storm might come next. You are ready. You are confident. You are excited, because you are a Problem solver. Problems are what you love. In fact, you look forward to them and revel in setting an example for your staff and clients. Handling them is the daily challenge that gets you out o bed in the morning. What once was a burden, now becomes your fuel. Say it with me…

‘I am a problem solver. Handling problems is what I do. I know a problem without a solution does not exist. In fact, the bigger the problem, the more fun the challenge.‘

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Inspired recently by Napolean Hill’s classic book ‘Think and Grow Rich‘, my partner and I recently sat down to plan our strategy to make more money than we can count. The following steps are the process we went through over the last year to get to the point where we were able to make this plan. There are six steps in the plan put forth in ‘Think and Grow Rich’. I have included them in this list, and added my interpretation of them. If you have not read ‘Think and Grow Rich’, I certainly suggest it. I can’t say it will make you rich, whatever your definition of that is, but it will certainly open your mind to the fact of just how possible it is to become so.

1. Think about what type of life you would like to live.

Don’t think about money. Money is pointless at this stage. In fact, pretend money does not exist. You simply have to choose what you will spend the majority of your time on. Now, don’t worry about changing your mind. That is okay. The important thing is to be successful in whatever you do, so learning how to succeed on one path will easily translate over to the next. Even if you pick the wrong path, it will not be a waste of time.

2. Write down how much money you would like to make.

As Napolean Hill says, you need to define this number and make a commitment to it. Write it down on a piece of paper right now. Don’t be scared either. I wrote down $200 million. My partner wrote down $333 million. Remember, this is our one life. If we are not going to try and go big, then why try at all? 

3. Write down what you are willing to sacrifice for this financial gain.

Napolean Hill opened my eyes to a very simple concept, that for some reason or other, had eluded me. If you want to make a lot of money, it is going to take sacrifice. It is not simply, think about it, and it will happen. You are going to have to give up family time, weekends, hobbies, television, and all sorts of things. Right now, list all of the things you are willing to give up to reach this goal. Remember, the higher the sum, the more sacrifice it requires.

4. Make a due date.

Another great step from ‘Think and Grow Rich’. Define the time period in which you want to achieve this goal by setting a due date to reach it. Now, don’t be scared to make the commitment. I wrote down 3 years with a due date of 7/4/2012. You can write down anything you like. The important part is to make that date and stand by it no matter what. Write it down right now.

5. Make a plan to acquire those sums.

This step from the book is quite useful. It helped us tremendously. You see, my partner and I had a couple of services that we are releasing this June. Now, originally, we were set on a certain strategy for marketing these services. We were thinking, in a few years, we may be able to collect enough monthly to pay all our bills. However, with this new commitment to a large financial gain, we had to think bigger. So we did, and what we came up with is incredible! I am not able to delve into details at this time, but the idea is probably our best idea yet. I can’t believe we didn’t see it before. We would have never thought of it had we not been forced to plan a way on how to make our fortune.

What I learned while doing this is, if you do not make a plan, how can you hope to achieve that sum? The answer is you can’t. That’s why, right now, you need to take some time and write down exactly how you plan to acquire the sum you desire. Don’t worry about the small details. Just get to thinking how you are going to take your passion, and turn it into gold.

6. Read it 2x a Day

So you now have a list. Napolean Hill, and my partner who had read hundreds of similar books, both say you should write the plan as if it already happened. For example, you may write…

“In the last 3 years, I have acquired $200 million dollars. To get this sum, I have sacrificed time with my family, weekends, television, training, luxuries, expensive dinners, good credit, sweat, blood, and tears. My fortune was acquired by (insert plan here). 3 years ago, I made a deal that by today, I will have acquired $200 million. There is no feeling quite like knowing I achieved my goal. It is too treasured to try and explain with mere words.“

Napolean Hill suggests reading it when you wake up, and before you go to bed. I think, as long as you read it daily, it will have the same effect. The important part is to get a taste of the incredible feeling of reaching that goal every time you read it. That is your daily motivation, Not the money, but that feeling of success. Right now, write down your own tale, as you would be telling it to others, after it is accomplished.

7. Believe in Your Ability

One of the things this book has done for me is it cemented the thought in my head that I really can do anything I want to. I think, along the course of our life, barraged by negativity day after day, we tend to doubt our ability to achieve things. ‘Sure, I’d love to be rich, but I’m just not the rich type.’ If you think like this, unfortunately, you are a 100% right.

To follow your plan, you must believe in it whole heartedly. You must believe that even if you are not ready at this very moment, by following that path, you will become as ready as you will ever be. It is not you that makes the path, but rather the path that makes you. You have made a commitment because you believed in your self. Now you have to do your best to stick to it.

8.  Start Right Now!

This is Napolean Hill’s final step in his book. He points out that, whether you are ready or not, you must start on this plan right now. It reminds me of starting out in Jiu Jitsu. They don’t show you moves, and make sure you know what to do before you start. Instead, they simply throw you right into the fire. To become good at Jiu Jitsu, you must first learn what NOT to do, before you learn what to do. The same goes for your plan. Jump right into the fire, and trust in your ability to adapt. Humans are nature’s greatest example of adaptation, so don’t tell me you don’t adapt well. Tell me you choose not to let yourself adapt well, because you are afraid you might not succeed. That is the truth, and from here on out, as you set out to start on this plan, the truth is all you have left.

9. Be honest with yourself.

Making a commitment to reach a goal is quite scary. It may sound ridiculous to others. It may invoke some teasing from friends and family. People think I am a moron when I tell them I am going to make $200 million in the next three years. However, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I don’t expect them to believe me. If someone told me that, I would not believe them either.

The truth is, you are not telling these people when you speak to them. You are telling yourself. You are being honest with yourself and your intentions. This is an important part of self confidence. Be firm in what you want. Don’t let anyone tell you different. It is your life, and the only thing you can do, is be honest with yourself about how you want to live it.

10. Money is not important.

This may seem ironic. If money is not important, than why the hell did we waste our time on the first 9 steps? The answer is that money is one part of living a stress free life. The feeling of reaching the goal you set out to reach is the true treasure of this journey. Imagine the possibilities that will open if you firmly believed you can achieve anything if you actually committed your mind to it. Think about the smug feeling of confidence you would have the next time somebody laughs at your lofty goals.

This is the feeling you need to have right now. This is the feeling of confidence you need to make your plan a reality. It’s not about the money, even though there will be plenty. It’s about harnessing the power of your mind, and realizing that with the gifts you have right now, anything, anything at all, is possible. It’s just a matter of committing yourself to it. Are you ready?

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

“The whole world is nuts. The only difference is the kind of shell we wear to protect us.” – Pj

Maybe it’s me, but lately I think everyone is a little on edge. I would imagine it has a lot to do with the economy. ‘Everyone is hurting out there, it’s just a matter to what degree’, a client recently told me. When money gets tight, emotions run high, and people can take out their rage in the strangest of places.

A perfect example of this is the other day. I was walking my dog through my development as I normally do. I live in a condo community, where you own everything on the inside, and they take care of the outside. You know, the basic definition of a condo. I stopped to talk to a neighbor about a stray cat everyone knows that animal control scooped up. I got the info I was looking for and continued walking. I stepped on the corner of grass in front of one of the condos when I heard a yell.

‘Hey, WTF are you doing? That’s the 2nd time I’ve seen you step on my grass.’

From out of their garage, this neighbor rapidly proceeded to get in my face with no shirt on. It was almost laughable. I explained to the dude that, first of all, it was not his grass. Second of all, you don’t have to be rude about it. If you would like me not to walk on someone elses’s grass, just ask politely. The dude acted as if he had snapped, and then regained control. He apologized briefly and just asked me to watch the grass he maintains.

Now, imagine being so angry in life that you are laying in your garage, waiting for someone to step on the corner of grass in front of a condo that you are renting. That’s right, not only does he not own the grass, he does not own the house either, yet he is worried about the grass.

I have noticed a rise in incidents like this ever since the economy started to decline. There seems to be more angry drivers, shoppers, customers, clients, and even business owners roaming about the world today. It is very tough out there right now, and the stress can weigh heavily on our minds throughout the day. Then, all of a sudden, one little incident can trigger a nuclear reaction. However, be careful out there. You never know when you might be messing with a blog writer who will tell your story to the whole world.

Even if you aren’t messing with a blog writer, it is important to not let the stress and emotions get the best of you. Currently, as I write this, I can think of many of my friends who would love to have their biggest challenge be navigating the current economy:

• My great friend, and ex-MMA fighter, who is now paralyzed after a motorcycle accident.
• My good friend growing up, who let drugs ruin his life, and now lives 50,000 miles away in Hawaii, unable to reconnect with his past out of fear of relapsing. He can’t even see his mother anymore.
• My sister’s friend who lost her sister in an automobile accident.
• A Cop in a town near me who’s 2 year old daughter just died from a rare sickness.

These are the kind of things that make us sit back and think that money problems are really no big deal. One way or another, we will get through them, and move on. Life is too big to stop for money issues, and so should we be. Why let some bills and debt ruin the days we are blessed to be above ground? So times are bad, economically. That does not mean they have to be bad overall.

I hope this post is a reminder to everyone of the important things in life. It sure is for me. It’s important to focus on your family, health, and happiness, not on the bills you can’t pay, or the job you hate. All of these things are changeable. None of them are life threatening, and in a few years, you may even sit back and laugh about it.

Until then, let’s all try to smile a little more during these trying times. Whether we are doing real good, or having the worst day, the fact that we are able to do one or the other, is really what we should be smiling about. I learned this first hand when I was hospitalized at 18 with Crohn’s disease. At the time, they did not know if I would get better. I remember all the little things I used to be concerned with kind of dissipated into thin air. They just seemed so trivial now that my quality of life was in danger.

Hopefully, it does not take a serious disease to teach you this valuable lesson. However bad things may seem, just remember, they could always be worse, just like they could always be better. At the end of the day, what’s really the difference? A good day is great, and a bad day makes you appreciate the good ones. Either way, we always win, no matter what our mind tries to tell us.

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