YinvsYang

Growing up I was always rather shy. I got picked on a few times in school. It wasn’t as if I was really afraid of other kids, rather, just unprepared. One time when I was young an older kid on our block used to pick on me relentlessly. I mean this kid would take ice cream out of other kids hands (I grew up in Brooklyn and there was a whole army of these type of kids)…Anyhow one day this kid made my little sister cry (mind you my sister was 3 and I was 8 ) I can’t remember specifically what had happen, but we got into an altercation over it and he punched me in the chin. It didn’t hurt all that much. For some odd reason I didn’t hit him back. My grandfather was standing in the window. I was shocked more than anything I guess. Probably a little too young to have an inflated ego to mend. Old enough to know that I just got punched by the neighborhood bully…

When I went inside my grandfather came over to me in a hurry. He said “Don’t you ever let someone take advantage of you, you do whatever you have to in the face of fear.” Actually….Being a WW2 Vet and tough as nails plus a very blunt man. It sounded more like “Come here! You see that guy over there? If someone bigger than you ever hits you like that again. You grab the nearest object and hit him with it. Then ask him if he still has a problem!” Now I am not promoting violence in the least. And neither was he, but he was saying something the older generation got well, stand up for yourself.

2 days later, here comes Niko (the same bully, a big Greek 13 year old boy, from down the block).. My grandfather the day before, cut down a Mimosa tree in our backyard. He sawed all the logs into pieces for the garbage men to take. In Brooklyn if you don’t make your garbage organized they have a habit of “not seeing it”. They were piled in a heap by the driveway. Niko as usual had something abusive to say to me, then pushed me over the logs..I fell, and for a split second even though I was afraid, reasoning measured the odds quickly and I figured they sucked. In one motion I grabbed a piece of log that would start a wonderful fire. Blam!!! I clocked him right in the forehead… He ran home crying.  Suffice to say he never bothered me again. Matter of fact we became friends afterwards.

My point to this story about getting my ass kicked on a consistent basis is this:

Courage is not about being a superhero. Superheros I am sure they are even scared putting on their tights! Even soldiers or trained combatants are afraid. Its not about having no fear. That’s a cliche. In real life fear lets you know something is not right. It’s a survival mechanism. It’s about being afraid and controlling yourself enough to do something anyway. That’s in situations with bullies, and in life. A great quote from the movie Three Kings “You do the thing you are scared shit-less of, THEN you get the courage. Not before.” A soldier remarks “well that’s a raw deal..” I guess so but look on the bright side, it’s through the doing of that which you are terrified of, you find out how courageous you really are. You find your capacity is limitless.

Courage

1.the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.