Ever Dreamed of Doing Something Remarkable With Your Life?
Posted by Peter James | Posted in Balanced Life, Learning Off Experience, Mixed Martial Arts Development, Welcome | Posted on 08-04-2009
Tagged Under : Balanced Life, brazilian jiu jitsu, Business Success Tips, entrepreneur, happiness, how to become successful, secrets of success, self development, self help, self improvement, Success, wealth
Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.
WARNING: The following article will obliterate any and all excuses you have created for why you can not be successful. If you wish to continue to effectively believe these excuses, please skip today’s post.
When I was a kid, I used to be sure that I was going to be rich. When I was in film school, I was sure I was going to be the next big movie director. And today, for the first time in a long time, I am sure of those things again. It’s just a matter of time.
I realized this the other day, before Jiu Jitsu class, while reading the back of a t-shirt. As stupid as that sounds, it is actually true. I’m sitting there stretching between classes and I see this printed on the back of my boy’s t-shirt
“What would you do if I told you, you could not fail”
I started thinking about YinvsYang immediately, and figured I’d write a post about the concept. However, I thought the quote could go even further. I started thinking about it, and suddenly, I realized something I could not believe. How did I not think of this before? My eyes popped open with excitement, like a kid who finally figures out the way to beat a tough video game. What I realized was…
Failure does not exist.
Take a minute to let this settle in for a second.
Failure does not really exist.
Think about it. What exactly is failure?
In the literal sense, ‘failure’ is a word. In the Oxford American dictionary, a ‘word’ is a single distinct conceptual unit of language, compromising inflected and various forms. Words are created by humans to have a meaning. Oxford American dictionary defines ‘failure’ in 2 ways.
1. A lack of success.
- An unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing
- lack of success in passing a test
- A grade that is not high enough to pass a test.
2. The action or state of not functioning.
- A sudden cessation of power
- The collapse of a business
Upon closer study, you see that ‘failure’ is only specific to a moment in time.
- Being unsuccessful means you have not reached success yet. That is time specific. It only takes having success once to realize your time ‘being unsuccessful’ was actually just the bumpy ‘road to success’.
- Failing a man made test happens at a specific time. Many students have failed a test, and then passed the class.
- A sudden cessation of power has different details behind it every time.
- Businesses only collapse once, unless they are rebuilt and collapse again. Either way, it’s unique to a moment in time.
The point is you can fail in the short term hundreds of times, but that does not make you a failure in the long run. Failure is a word that is based on other’s perception. An unsuccessful person, and a grade that is not passing, are both defined by man. Man creates the test, and Man creates a definition of failing that test.
Unless you let a time that you fail be your last moment chasing that goal, how can you possibly be a failure? The answer is, you can’t. If you continue chasing your dreams, it is impossible to be considered a failure. You are just going down your path to success, and these are the bumps in the road you are facing. Each one you navigate over builds character, confidence, and wisdom. Just look at some these ‘failures’ we know about in life….
- Was Michael Jordan a failure when he got cut from his high school basketball team?
- Was Donald Trump a failure when his business went bankrupt?
- Was Abraham Lincoln a failure when the country broke out into Civil War?
The answer to all of these is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. If they would have gave up at those moments, then yes, they would have cemented failure for them self. However, they did not give up, and history shows that these men have been anything but failures.
‘Failure’ is not a term to define our life as a whole. It is used to define the sum of events up until right now. For example, if I fail my driving test, then right now, I am a failure. However, once I pass it, that is no longer the case. It just took me two times to succeed.
‘Failure’ is also a manmade term. Animals don’t understand failure. They are simply survivors. Whatever they fail at, they try again and again till they figure it out, or they move on and forget about it.
Failure does not exist, except in our own minds.
The mind is powerful, and can show you all sorts of potential devastating outcomes. However, the mind is a muscle. It needs to be developed and taught the right answers. The mind’s best teacher is experience. To get experience, you must fail over and over. These ‘failures’ are all just moments in time. Once you reach your goal, the ‘failures’ wind up becoming the obstacles you overcame. The bigger the failure, the bigger the obstacle, and subsequently, the better the story.
The fear of failure, is the fear of your own mind.
Anything we want to accomplish can be done, if we just realize the road to success is going to be bumpy on the way there. Many people try to travel the road to success, but as soon as the terrain gets rough, they turn and run back. Successful people keep going. They know the road to success is never easy, therefore they never expect it to be. In fact, they know the more difficult the terrain, the greater the success will be. It’s all relative.
Once you realize this, than the truth becomes obvious. We really can do anything we want to as long as we put our mind to it. Putting our mind to it means we are willing to deal with the terrain of the road we choose to travel.
Becoming successful is really all about answering the following questions, which you can do in the comments below.
- What do you dream of doing?
- Are you truly willing to deal with ALL the bumps in the road it takes to get there, even if you don’t know what those bumps are?
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[...] Failure doesn’t exist. The worst idea in the human mind is failure. We – consciously and unconsciously – fear the thought of failing. But what if failing didn’t exist? Would you be more inclined to tackle your goals, dreams and hopes? [...]
I read the same thing on BK’s shirt, and thought it was a great concept, depending on how you interpret the statement. Imagine if no matter what you did, although it may have felt like a failure for the moment, in the end brought you stunning victory. I liken it to all of the rejection letters I got when I first began to look for a job after graduate school, and got enough rejection letters to wallpaper a room. In the end I did get the job I really wanted, and even though I thought about the failures of not getting all the other jobs along the way, it turned out to be a great victory. Looking back, those rejection letters were not failures in the congenial sense; they were merely road bumps that I had to navigate past to get to the success.
@Razor
Very well put. I have a few rejection letters of my own.
I missed you at Tony’s class today, but I see we both were on the Yin Yang wave length on Saturday. Nice!
It’s a bit like the yin and yang concept itself. Yin and Yang exist on one level, but underneath this there is only the Whole, the One, the Tao. Same goes for failure and success, underneath these concepts lies “Just What Is”.
@Seamus
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Extra points for pulling the site’s name into your comment.
Success and failure seems to be a hot topic at least among the blogs in my RSS Reader. Chris Yeh at Adventures in Capitalism & Ask the Harvard MBA was discussing the same topic. He makes the observation that there are 2 mindsets: “Fixed” and “Growth” It comes down to whether you believe your abilities are fixed and you are incapable of growing (in which case failure is real) or whether you can learn new skills and try again (in which case failure is simply a temporary setback.)
@Sam
I noticed that yesterday as well. Must be a popular topic in this economy. I agree with everything Chris Yeh has said, except the final line. I never think that failure is a temporary setback.
Failure is like falling forward. It’s not graceful to anyone including yourself, nor is it pleasant, but the bottom line is it moves you ahead faster then simply walking. Failure is not a setback in my opinion, it is necessary. There MUST be failure for their to be success, or it wouldn’t be considered such.
I think a major problem with society is the concentration on avoiding failure. Everyone is afraid of it. It is engrained in our heads from nursery school on. No one wants to Fail. Yet, many successful people will tell you how important failure was to their success. I think if people learned to expect failure along the road to success, instead of dreading it, their life would be that much better off. Just my 2 cents.
but, people do fail..
Pete: you are like the Confucius of the BJJ world. Anyone who has not suffered failure of some kind is truly not able to understand success. Failing at the arm bar 100 times and then finally hitting it is the easiest example. I can’t describe the elation I feel when I finally hit a technique I have failed to achieve 100 times in the past. If you just get it the first time, how do you know that that positive feeling of success actually feels like?
This is an exciting post. I like to do something called the “worst thing that could happen test” and write down what is the absolute worst thing that could happen. I usually find it isn’t too bad in the long run. Here is the test: http://tinyurl.com/csao83
Keep up the great work!
-D
I reallllly love your disclaimer at the beginning of the article. We really don’t have excuses, we try to find them to mask what’s really going on. I love it!
Oh, and yes, failure is a great way to figure out what doesn’t work and find what works.
@yoyoyoyo
Maybe you could elaborate a little?
@Razor
Very true. When you do finally get that move, try not to celebrate too much. I have found some people get a little annoyed and try to kill you afterwards
@David
That is an excellent idea. I wish I thought of it myself. Thank you for adding the link.
@Nathalie
Thanks. And I agree, Trial and error may be old school, but it works.
Peter,
You made a great point here. A failure is a failure because we give meaning to it. I also observe this collective blindness for success. People tend more often to concentrate on the failures they had than their successes.
I have to admit that I’m not always a exception on this either. When I came home last night I had this kind of Eureka moment, when I suddenly realized that the money I worry about these days was nothing more than shoe-money a while back. In other words: I gave no attention to it when I was used to have it and miss it now it’s gone. So instead of mourning I decided to concentrate on the past success and stopped for a moment to think on what I did different in the past.
But of course this is not just about money, though money is a big issue for everyone lately.
You can even extent ‘What would you do if you knew that failure doesn’t exists?’
Ask yourself: ‘What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?’
It’s the fear for this temporary failure that let people stop to follow their dreams.
The guy who invented the light bulb (Edison?) was asked in an interview how it felt to fail that often until it finally worked.
He answered that he just proved himself 700+ times how it doesn’t work.
See it like this and it’s much easier to go forward. Life is all about growing, not about standing still.
I could go ahead for hours, but it’s too late!
Thank you for this motivating article.
Mario
Peter,
I love it that you introduce time into the equation. I graduated college in 1992 and have worked at a bunch of jobs I hated while trying to work for myself (mlm, selling things on Ebay, weird IM scams, etc).
On March 6th, 2009 I walked out of my job a free man. I finally found something that worked. I now get to spend my days working full-time online on my fitness site. I earn a full-time income doing something that doesn’t feel like work.
It took me 17 years…I’m glad I didn’t give up after 10.
Cheers,
Rusty
@Mario
Great insight. Love the part about Edison. That’s a great quote. Thanks for adding!
@Rusty
That is a very motivating story. Hopefully we’re all on a similar path.
@Rusty
“It took me 17 years…I’m glad I didn’t give up after 10.”
I love this statement. This is one to remember!
@Peter
It proofs that everything is a matter of perspective. The one who never tries something will never be able to get that far. Not even to find out what doesn’t work.
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Ethe “Failure is an event, not a person.” (Zig Ziglar) I Think you did a great job of illustrating just why that quote is so true.