Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

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Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

Every Monday is personal development through Jiu Jitsu…

“Sometimes your the hammer, sometimes your the nail.”

This is a saying everyone at my Jiu Jitsu school knows. My instructor is a big fan of repeating it because it sums up exactly what Jiu Jitsu is all about. In Jiu Jitsu, MMA, and in life, in order to truly master something, you must understand all aspects of it. You can not possibly master Jiu jitsu without understanding what it’s like to be both the hammer and the nail.

Being the hammer means you are putting a beat down on the nail. Being the nail is the opposite, meaning someone is putting the beat down on you. Everyone who comes into Jiu Jitsu wants to, and sometimes expects to, be the hammer. You’ve seen people train on the UFC, and you’ve watched some of the moves on YouTube, so you think you are pretty well prepared. Maybe you even have a wrestling background, or are an animal at the local gym. Regardless, you walk into that first class with the expectations of a champion.

Learning off Experience

This is where it can all go wrong for a first timer. No matter what your background is, and no matter how tough or in shape you are, there is nothing that can fully prepare you for Jiu Jitsu. It is similar to other types of ground fighting, and yes, you need to be in good shape, but neither of these are the obstacles that will stop you from becoming the hammer. The true obstacle is experience.

Experience is what makes us who we are. In order to become the hammer, you must first be the nail. There is no escaping it. Even if you come in and do well against other white belts, you are not going to hang with the other practitioners who have been sweating on the mat 4x a week for the last few years. Simply put, experience trumps all else.

The same goes for life. As humans, we have a habit of pumping ourselves up with these enormous expectations. We dream of being the hammer in everything we do. Yet, when we become the nail, a myriad of excuses flood our mind. It can’t be. There must be something wrong. How could someone like me not do well?

It is because of the lack of experience. If you are inexperienced at something, why would you think you can do well against other, more experienced individuals? We have a word for people like that. They are called prodigies. Prodigies, as we all know, are extremely rare. So unless you think you are a prodigy at something, maybe you should try and lower your expectations. Believe it or not, it actually will help you get to where you want to be.

The Roadblock of Expectations

The problem with the high expectations is that it actually stunts your growth. I have seen a ton of strong, muscular athletes come into Jiu Jitsu. They start out way above other white belts because they are able to muscle out of submissions, and muscle other inexperienced people into tapping. However, they also take the longest to develop. The reason is, because they can rely on their muscle, they tend to do so instead of learning the proper technique. So they tend to consistently play the hammer with white belts and get beat down like a nail by everyone else with more experience.

On the flip side, the person who comes into train Jiu Jitsu with no expectations is always the most dangerous. They simply approach it like anything else, and jump right in. If they lose, they get up and try again. If they win, they get up and try again. Neither matters, because during every match they are soaking up as much knowledge as they can. They are not worried about being a winner or a loser. They are only worried about improving.

If you can approach every challenge in life this way, you will find the road to success a much smoother path. I think a lot of the obstacles we face in life are of our own doing. Many times, myself included, we put pressure on ourselves to be who we think we should be, without taking into consideration who we really are.

A perfect example of this is my film career. In film school, I was so concerned with being the next film prodigy, that I almost gave it all up when it seemed impossible. However, now I realize I should have just been doing what I am doing now: working each day to improve at it as much as I can. Because, as the saying goes…

“Sometimes your the hammer, sometimes your the nail.”

Regardless, you are always learning, so learn to enjoy both sides of the coin.

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