Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

As many of you know, I train and teach Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) for a Royler Gracie affiliate. All of the lessons I have learned in BJJ mirror my real life. Jiu Jitsu is like a small sample of life’s lessons right on the mat. It is why I always learn a little something about myself almost every class I attend.

At each BJJ class, after warm-ups, a certain move, or series of moves are taught to the class by the Instructor. We call these ‘The Move of the Day.’ The Instructor will breakdown the move(s), showing us the nuances of the technique, and then the students will work with a partner at perfecting it.

Next, the partners will take turns giving some resistance to simulate the move(s) during a match experience. This helps each student see some holes in their technique that they might not have noticed without the simulated resistance.

Finally, after all of that, the students roll (a term for sparring in BJJ) with one another. In my school, it has been common practice to speak up if you are able to pull off ‘the move of the day‘ during one of these live matches. It’s kind of like a bravado thing I guess. It doesn’t really seem to mean anything, accept that you have listened well for the day. However, over time, I have found that it means much more than that.

In Jiu Jitsu, Failure Breeds Success

“Nothing fails like success because we don’t learn from it. We learn only from failure.” –Kenneth Boulding

Being that I get to teach, and watch the progression of white belts, it has become quite clear that the students that rise to the top are the students willing to fail first in order to get better.

These students are willing to risk losing those daily matches in order to try the move of the day. Pride is not an issue because they know they need to gain experience. Other students tend to be too focused on trying to ‘win’ the match, rather than trying to improve. Therefore, they stick to what they know, and they try to win with that. This may work well for the day, but over time, these students will see little progression, if any.

It is pretty clear from my experience that the students who continue to try new things in order to get better initially will fail. They may fail over & over for months. However, they never seem to care. They know they are trying to get better over the long haul, and all of these little battles will mean nothing in the end. It is after all of this failure that I have seen these students all of a sudden ‘get it’. They rise to the top because they have all the experience. They have failed so many times, that they know exactly what it takes to succeed.

The Same is True for life.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” –Confucius

Many of us have goals, dreams, ambitions, and/or wishes for our lives. We grow up talking about them, yet when it comes down to taking the risks, many of us give up rather quickly. We would rather not try, than fail. If we do try, and we fail, we immediately make excuses and give up. I know I have done this countless times over my life.

Just like the BJJ students, without risking the failure, we are not going to get better. Sometimes, even though we know we will fail, we have to do it anyway because the only way to success is through these failures. If you do not try, then you can not fail, but you also can not progress. You will stay stagnant. Some people find comfort in that, but successful people do not. Successful people keep moving, cause either they win, they learn, or both.

I often wonder nowadays why as a society we do not cherish our failures? Why do we not celebrate a person when they fail at something they took a chance on? Why is failing looked at as such a bad thing if it is the only sure thing that leads to success?

The fastest way to success at something is to continually jump in the fire over and over again.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; un-rewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
–Calvin Coolidge

For instance, in BJJ, I can tell you exactly how to do an arm bar, step by step. However, when you try to apply it with real life resistance, there is no way you will get it on your 1st, 2nd or even 10th time. It takes persistent practice in live situations to be able to perfect the technique.

Well, the same goes for our ideas in life. If you fail at an idea, do not quit. Do not stop because you have failed once. As a matter of fact, you should realize that by failing once, you are actually one step closer to your goal. To start on another goal would be to waste the time & effort on the first.

Do not let the fear of failure control your life. If you think it does, then I suggest you take some time to try things you think are impossible. Jump into something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Put yourself through your fear and that fear will be no more. Learn to fail and learn how important it can be to your success.