Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

Article by Peter J. Normandia. Follow me on Twitter.

“Darling I don’t know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain’t no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It’s all or nothing at all
Darling I don’t know why I got to extremes” -Billy Joel: ‘I Go To Extremes’

For whatever reason, I have always been someone who could not walk away from a challenge. My wife even uses this to her advantage by dropping her tangled jewelry in front of me and watching as I grumble incoherently for however long it takes to untangle. She knows I can’t stop until it is done, even if I want to.

It’s how I’ve always been since I can remember. Growing up, if you told me not to do something, all I heard was…

DO IT, I DARE YOU!!!!

Everything was a challenge to me. My young life was extremely black and white with no room for any gray area whatsoever. I was either your best friend, or your enemy. I would hate a girl one week, and love her the next. Any hobby I was into was the greatest thing ever. When I got bored of it, I hated it. When I critiqued a movie, it was either the best I had ever seen, or it just plain SUCKED.

Simply put, I was an extremist from the moment I was born. Deep down, I believe we all are born extremists, and life slowly beats us into conformity as we grow. This is because being an extremist at anything is not easy.

For example, even though I graduated film school on a roll, in less than a year I jumped into the mortgage game eager to chase the easy money. I could have kept toughing it out at my parent’s house with film, but that seemed too extreme. I thought it was better to get a simple job rather than keep struggling with how to make a living doing what I love. Besides, I had time to do what I love after I got rich, right?

Boy was I wrong.

I failed miserably with this mindset and am still feeling the effects of it financially right now. However, because of this outright failure, I had a complete epiphany on the importance of having ….

…the mindset of an Extremist!

Being extreme is who I am. However, who I am comes with certain personal faults that other people notice. It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to be me, flaws and all, just like it’s okay to be you. As a matter of fact, the flaws are the most beautiful part! So let them shine….

It’s okay to be the fanatic yelling his head off at the football game.

It’s okay to be the neat freak who cleans their house 2x before the cleaning lady comes.

It’s okay to be the person with the craziest costume on Halloween, or the most detailed school project in the class, or the most organized nerd at work.

It’s okay, because it means you are the type of special person willing to go to extremes regardless of what anyone thinks.

Don’t EVER let anyone take that away from you.

Looking back, I can definitely admit I used to be afraid to go after my desires. I was afraid to give all of my effort and risk failure. I was afraid of the pressure success might bring. I was afraid to show I was better than the next person, because I might have to do it again sometime. Most of all, I was afraid to admit this all to myself. Rather than trying to win, I was more concerned with not losing in the eyes of others.

Maybe you had a similar experience.

• Have you ever went through the motions at something instead of giving it your all, even though you could have?
• Have you ever ignored your gut instinct because you were afraid it might be wrong?
• Have you ever denied doing something because you thought others would think bad of you?

Well, I certainly did many times. I always had an extreme desire to be the best at everything I did, however, being the best meant standing out from the crowd. That in itself presented its own challenges.

Standing out is definitely not a comfortable feeling. It can take some getting used to. Jealous people will ridicule you for challenging the wisdom of the masses. Others will call you crazy for going out on your own. Shit, sometimes, it’s those closest to you that have the biggest doubts. However, if you want to succeed, I feel learning to enjoy standing out it is a bridge you must cross.

Going to extremes is what life is all about.

Think of the most successful people in the world and you show me one who was not extreme. Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Mark Cuban, etc. These people were not trying to fit in. They did not worry about what everyone else thought. No, they just went for it all and let the chips fall where they may. You name any person successful at anything in the world, and I bet they were considered extreme in one way or another.

If you only do what you are supposed to do, or just enough, then how can you ever expect to get ahead?

The answer is you can’t. However, when you let your instinct lead the way, you have no choice but to stand out, even if you don’t succeed. Think about it. There is only one of you.  So if you are yourself, than it’s impossible not to stand out.

To me, there is nothing worse in life than just going through the motions whether it’s your job, a sport, or your workout. It’s just so freakin’ boring.  Life is too precious to let it be wasted like that. Why not find something you love to do, and go all out with it? Take it to the extreme and enjoy the gratifying journey. Be proud of the extremities you are known for because that’s what makes you who you are.

Give back to life the extreme gift it has given you by being an individual. Worry not what others think.  Worry only what you think, and then go out there, and give it everything you got to get what you desire.

The best way I can remember it being said is…..

‘I don’t care what you choose to do, just make sure whatever it is, you do it better than everybody else.’ -unknown