Yin vs YangThe Battle for Success in Life

The other day I opened my fridge to find a surprise random piece of cheesecake from my in-laws. I looked at it, thought about tasting it, and then passed. I am trying to cut out as much refined sugar from my diet as possible, and a cheesecake definitely doesn’t fit the bill. I searched the rest of the fridge, hoping to find something healthier to snack on. Unsuccessful, I looked back at the cheesecake. The way it was cut, it had a small piece sticking off of it. I rationalized that the little small piece is no big deal. All I was doing was tasting the cake. I quickly grabbed a fork, happy with my rationalization, and nipped off the piece.

Not that this is some huge deal, but it made me think. We all cheat on our diets here and there. However, I had one bite of the cheesecake and it made me sick. Not because it wasn’t any good. On the contrary it was quite tasty. Not because I broke my diet. It wasn’t the 1st time. Nope, I got sick because something I had been thinking about writing had just happened to me before I even knew it. I had become a victim of my mind’s rationalization.

Rationalization can be much worse than a small piece of cheesecake. It is a silent, little voice that creeps up in our head just at the right time, giving us the excuse to do what we want even when we know we should not. Rationalization is defined in Oxford American dictionaries as ‘the attempt to explain to justify (one’s own or another’s behavior or attitude) with logical, plausible reasons, even if they are not true or appropriate’.

I’ve noticed a process in my own head that I’m sure you have had happen to you. I will see something I want. Could be anything at all. Yet, my initial reaction is disappointment because I know it is not something I can or should have. For example, you are at the store and see this brand new item you want. Initially, you think to yourself ‘I can’t afford this.’ Then the rationalization starts to creep in:

‘Oh but it’s so nice’ (not a strong enough rationalization yet)

‘It would look great in my place’ (getting closer, but not quite)

‘How can I afford it?’ (reality makes a last ditch effort to surface)

‘I can just pay it out of my next check’ (Ut…oh)

‘Ooooh. Look. No interest for 3 months.’ (Danger! Danger!)

‘You know what. I work hard. I deserve this. I should reward myself.’ (the process is complete)

This happens to us all the time. Rationalization makes us feel good about what we do until reality hits. Like for example, 3 months later, you still don’t have the $$$ for the purchase you made and now the interest is starting to accrue. You sit back and wonder why the hell you ever bought this. What made you do it?

The reason is because your mind rationalized it. We human beings are smart creatures. Our mind has more power than any of us can truly imagine. But sometimes, that power can work against us. Our desires infiltrate our mind searching for some rational thought to make them acceptable. And the smarter we are, the more thoughts there are to search through.

The key to stopping this process Is to recognize it. That seems rather simple, but it can be tricky. Be aware the next time your initial reaction is ‘No’ but it turns into a ‘Yes’. Sometimes we even know we are rationalizing and still proceed with it. It is because our desires are clouding our mind, narrowing our thoughts down to one single thought that makes the desire seem plausible, at least for the moment.

Recognizing rationalization will at least remove these clouds. It will give reality a fighting chance over desire. Think back to the initial reaction of ‘No’. Try to rationalize that as well as the ‘Yes’ decision. Which one holds more weight in reality. Is it really worth the extra debt? Calories? Time? Trouble? or Whatever?

Chances are, probably not. Don’t become a victim of desire’s weapon of choice. Try hard to make a clear decision not affected by desire. Three things can help you achieve this:

1. Ask someone else who does not share the same desire what their opinion is. This let’s clearer heads prevail.

2. Wait a day. Instead of making the hasty decision. Come back the next day or week and see if it is worth it. Remember, in today’s day and age, you could probably just get it online.

3. Just say no. If you recognize you have to rationalize something, then maybe it is not for you.

Hopefully this will help with more than just an extra sliver of cheesecake. I have seen many people dig themselves into serious financial holes because of rationalization. Be careful. Your mind is a powerful thing.

It’s just a matter of understanding which way you choose to use it.